21. Chapter 21 #2
“I saw a phone number for a man named Arlo. She’d written Leon’s dad beside it.
Leon was my father, so this was obviously my grandfather I’d never met.
So I memorized the number, and when Ma was at work the next day, I called him.
Told him the whole story and that I was worried my mom wasn’t getting enough to eat. ”
“Crap, did your mom freak out?”
Reno huffs out a laugh. “I didn’t tell her, but that evening, Gramps showed up in a big black truck and knocked on the door of our apartment. Told my mom we were going to live with him and Grandma, and he wasn’t hearing a single word against it.”
“Good for him,” I say, turning my head to press my cheek to Reno’s chest again.
“We lived in their farmhouse for about a year while my mom went to school to finish her degree in social work. She’d been almost done when she met my father, and he somehow talked her into quitting school. She’s a counselor for a shelter now.”
I nuzzle against his shirt and smile. “Would it be weird if I said I have a girl crush on your mom?”
His lips curl against the top of my head. “Not weird. She’s pretty fucking amazing.”
I look up at him. “You are too, for having the balls to call a man you’d never met and ask for help because you were worried about your mother.”
“I guess. I give all the credit to my grandparents. They took in their daughter-in-law who they hadn’t seen in over a decade and a grandson they didn’t know existed.
I had a real family for the first time.” He stares wistfully out at the horizon where the sun seems to be dipping into the water.
“I had some anger issues, so Gramps got me involved in sports to help me work out my shit in a more healthy way.”
“This is the grandfather that has dementia now?”
Reno nods. “Besides my mom, he’s the most important person in my life. I’d do anything for him.”
I’ll be honest. I’m finding it very difficult not to fall head over heels for Reno Swain right now. Especially when he dips his head to press soft pecks against my lips. “Thank you for listening to me, dream girl. I know it’s not a pretty story.”
“Many stories aren’t, but you were lucky to have a beautiful ending to it.”
“Very lucky,” he agrees. “So many women don’t get that.”
A fresh round of tears assaults my eyes as memories flood my mind. Ugly memories. So I bury my face in his chest and let them fall. It’s a response I hate, but one I can’t control, and my body begins to shake.
Reno’s body stiffens, and he’s silent while he strokes my back and hair with aching gentleness. My soft cries turn into full-blown sobs, and I don’t even know why. I haven’t cried over my asshole ex in over a year .
Maybe it’s the tenderness with which Reno is rubbing me or the strong feel of him surrounding me and making me feel safe. Treasured.
He sinks to the ground with me straddling his thighs and holds me. I glance down to where the water is soaking his shorts.
“Your clothes are getting all wet,” I hiccup.
“I have plenty of clothes I can change into,” he replies, reminding me he’d used the resort’s laundry service since he decided to stay an extra week with me. Then he cups my chin to lift my tear-stained face. “Did someone hurt you, Juliette?”
“It was a few years ago,” I reply.
He shakes his head, the flame in his pretty green eyes a mixture of concern and barely disguised fury.
“It doesn’t matter. Stuff like that leaves a scar on your soul, and that can’t be fully erased by time.
” His lips are so soft when they brush across my forehead, I wonder if I imagined it. “Tell me who hurt you.”
“It was my ex.”
“Name?” he asks curtly.
“Collin.”
“Collin what?”
“It doesn’t matter. He’s gone now.”
“Did someone kill him?” He asks that so apathetically—like he wouldn’t give a shit if Collin was dead or not—it makes me smile just a little.
“He’s not dead, but he would have been if my brother had gotten hold of him.”
“I think I like your brother,” he replies, one side of his lips hitching up before his face turns serious again. “What happened?”
I don’t like talking about this, but after the painful story Reno had shared, I feel an almost irrepressible need to tell him. I blow out a raspberry before scooching closer to press my torso tightly against his. Burying my face in the side of his neck, I begin to talk.
“When I first met Collin, everything seemed to be fine.” One of my shoulders makes a little shrug. “But I guess that’s how all these situations begin. No one says, ‘Hey, this guy is a total twat muffin. Maybe I should see if he wants to go out again.’”
“Twat muffin?” Reno asks, a hint of amusement in his voice.
“It’s my name for him. Though Bubba always called him colon behind his back because he said Collin was full of shit.
” I sigh. “And I guess Bubba was right. Anyway, everything started out fine. There were tiny signs that I suppose I should have recognized as potential red flags, but they were few and far between.”
“What kinds of signs?”
“Mostly eye rolling and long sighs when he’d get annoyed with me. He seemed to have a bit of a short fuse when I did something scatterbrained or had to be reminded of something. Nothing overt; he would just get bothered easily.”
“Impatient twat muffin,” Reno mutters.
“Fast forward a year, and we got engaged.” I feel Reno stiffen before he relaxes his posture and strokes my ponytail. “Everything was still okay, but Collin’s fuse got a little shorter, especially when…”
I pause, trying to phrase this properly so Reno wouldn’t know who I was talking about. And he would know if I went into too much detail.
“He got transferred because of work,” I explain. “He wanted me to move with him, but I was right in the middle of the summer reading program for kids at my library, so I said I would move in the fall.”
The cool water brushes against my knees, and I roll my lips inward before going on to the next part of the story.
“I decided to go visit him one weekend, but my flight was delayed. Collin had made reservations at some fancy restaurant, so he was aggravated as hell when I finally arrived two hours late. He…” I swallow hard. “He yelled at me when we got in the car.”
“Motherfucker,” Reno bites out. “How the hell did he think that was your fault?”
“Because he’s a twat muffin,” I reply dryly. “So he already wasn’t in the best mood, and when we were almost to his apartment, I realized I’d forgotten to pack my phone charger. You know, because of the aforementioned scatterbrained-ness.”
Reno nuzzles my temple. “I think every adult has forgotten their phone charger at least once. That’s nothing to get upset about.”
I nod against his neck. “That’s when he called me fucking stupid.”
The man I’m sitting on lets out a string of curses that would offend an entire ship of sailors. Then he eases me back and cups my face, his eyes warm on top of the anger he must be feeling.
“Juliette, you are not stupid,” Reno says, enunciating each word. “No one should ever talk to you like that.”
“I know.” An errant tear treks down my cheek. “I made good grades in high school and in college. I know I’m not stupid, but it still hurts to be belittled.”
Reno pulls my face to his and kisses my lips, gentle as a butterfly. “You are smart, Juliette McNamara. The way you can put words together to tell a story is such a rare talent.” Then he presses his lips to my forehead. “What’s in here is just as beautiful as the rest of you. I am in awe of you.”
Well, a girl can’t hear that enough. He pulls me close again, and my body melts against him, his warmth rivaling the heat of the setting sun.
“After we got to his apartment, he acted like nothing even happened. I finally told him he’d hurt my feelings by saying I was stupid, and he acted confused. Said he didn’t even remember saying it.”
“Did he apologize?”
“He did, and it seemed sincere, but a couple weeks later, he called me a dumb bitch.” I feel Reno’s body quake, but despite his obvious anger, I’m not afraid in the least that he might hurt me.
“I’m going to need this prick’s full name and address. Now.” His voice is an iceberg, cold and resting just beneath the surface.
“It’s in the past. It was two years ago,” I defer.
“What did your brother say about the colon talking to you like that?”
I pause. “I didn’t tell him. I thought it would blow over.”
“But it didn’t?”
Shaking my head, I inhale the fresh scent of Reno’s thick neck. “No. I was beginning to seriously rethink things because he seemed to be calling me names more and more often, like it just became habit for him. Never in front of anyone else though.”
“What made you finally break it off?” Reno’s hands are gentle as he caresses the back of my head and the length of my spine.
“I… I was FaceTiming with him one night. He was in his apartment, and I saw a naked woman walk across the room behind him.”
“What the fuck?” Reno snaps.
“Those were my exact words,” I say wryly. “I had finally reached my breaking point and called him a dumb, cowardly, cheating-ass, little bitch.”
Reno’s shoulders shake. “Sorry, I know this isn’t funny, but that’s the best damn thing I’ve ever heard.”
I giggle too. “It felt good to say. As soon as I told him it was over, I felt fifty pounds lighter. Like my body was relieved my brain had finally gotten with the program.”
Rolling my lips between my teeth, I pause before telling him the next part.
“Collin caught a flight and showed up at my house the next morning. He was apologizing all over the place and begging me to forgive him. Then he started explaining how it was all my fault since I wouldn’t move with him immediately. ”
“What an asshole,” Reno mutters. “Is that when he got violent?”
Nodding, I say, “Yes. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me so hard my teeth rattled. I was scared, and at that point I knew I had two choices.” I let out a breath. “I could either speak quietly and try to talk him down, or I could knee him in the balls.”
“And what did you do?” His voice is strained like a guitar string someone tightened three turns too many.
“I went for the balls,” I state and feel Reno’s exhale against my neck, like that’s the answer he wanted to hear. “The twat muffin twisted at the last minute, so I only grazed his crotch, but it was enough to make him double over.”
Reno gently pushes me back and cradles my cheeks in his big hands. I’m finding it easier than expected to say this next part face to face. There’s no pity in his eyes, only steadfastness, like he’s sharing his energy with me.
Only a slight quiver mars my voice when I speak again. “I ran, but he caught me. Twisted my arm up behind my back. There was a horrible pop. I know he heard it because he let go immediately.”
“Fuck, dream girl. Was it your shoulder?”
I nod. “Yes, it was dislocated. I fell onto the floor, and he stared at me like he couldn’t quite figure out why I was lying there. I pulled my phone from my pocket, and Collin immediately began apologizing. Saying he didn’t mean to. You know, all the bullshit abusers spew afterward.”
Reno’s lips flatten into a harsh line. “I’m aware.”
“So I called my brother Bubba and told him Collin hurt me. He started yelling so loud even the twat muffin could hear him. And… he ran.”
“Cowardly motherfucker,” Reno spits out. “Hurting a woman and then hauling ass when he knows someone his own size is about to show up. Did Bubba ever catch him?”
I shake my head. “No. He and his wife took me to the hospital. The doctors took lots of pictures of my shoulder and the bruises Collin left on my arms when he shook me. For the police report.”
Reno’s eyes immediately drop to my thighs where a few fingerprint bruises have bloomed from where he held my legs apart last night. He looks horrified.
“Shit, Juliette. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have been so rough with you. I’m…”
I cover his mouth with my palm. “Don’t apologize,” I say sternly.
“It’s my body, and I decide what kinds of bruises I want on it.
These are marks left by passion, not anger.
” Uncovering his mouth, I kiss him there, hard and firm.
“You left those on me while you were going down on me, making me feel good, and I wear them with pride. ”
His exhale is ragged as he nods. “Okay, but you have to promise to tell me if I ever get too rough with you.”
“I promise,” I tell him, though we both know our time together is limited.
Only three more days.
And that thought makes my heart hurt.