38. Chapter 38
Pucking love
I still can’t get over the shock of seeing Reno at the arena tonight. And then that little stunt he pulled beneath the table at the restaurant?
But hell, I can’t even make myself be mad about it because that orgasm was phenomenal, better than any I’ve self-administered the past couple months.
Sitting in the backseat of Bubba’s truck, I stare at my phone, unable to pull my eyes from a photo of Reno and me from Pineapple Island. In the pic, I’m holding the phone at a high angle and grinning up at it. But Reno? His face is turned to the side, looking at me like I invented bacon.
God I’ve missed him so much, the way he touched me…
the way we laughed together… the way he treated me like I was the only thing that mattered.
And when I blathered on about everything from goats to clouds to movie soundtracks, he joined in on the conversations, unlike my asshole ex.
I can’t even count the number of eye rolls I’d endured from Collin, usually accompanied by ugly words about my “stupid babbling.”
But now Reno’s here in my town, and I’m not sure what to do with that.
Did he get back with Leia or is he still suppressing his latent feelings for her?
I refuse to play second fiddle to anyone.
I may be sweet, but I do have more pride than that.
Collin broke my confidence, and it took me a long while to get it back, but as I built myself up, I vowed never again.
A text notification pops up on my screen, and I swallow hard before checking it. It’s short and to the point.
Reno: Give me your address .
Jesus, help me. The thrill that demand sends down my body and to my core should be embarrassing. What should I do? I put my thumbs to my screen and respond.
Juliette: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
Mere seconds pass before I get another message.
Reno: Now, Juliette, or I will knock on every goddamn door in town until I find you.
Sometimes a person’s tone is disguised in a text message, but yeesh! Reno’s is crystal clear. He’s not fucking around. Exhaling, I tap out two texts.
Juliette: 45 Maple Court
Juliette: Park in the garage. I’ll leave it open.
By doing that, am I also leaving my heart open and vulnerable for him to work his way back in? I inwardly laugh at myself.
Like he’s ever been truly gone.
I pace my small kitchen, my bare feet slapping against the linoleum as I cross the floor so many times I’m probably wearing grooves in the surface.
I pick up my phone and send Evie a text. She’s the only one who knows the identity of the man I was sleeping with in paradise.
Juliette: Freaking the fuck out, Eve-ster!
Evie: What’s wrong? Do I need to send Dane to handle something?
I blow out a laugh. My best friend’s ability to make me smile hasn’t been erased by time and distance. And I have no doubt Dane would do anything she asked if she batted her pretty blue eyes at him and cooed, “Honey, someone hurt Juli. Would you pretty please rip their eyeballs out? For me?”
And he’d no doubt reply with a gruff, “Of course, Wildcat. Should I use a knife or my bare hands?”
But I don’t need anyone snuffed out. I need advice.
Juliette: Reno got traded to the Brewers.
Evie: Holy shit, are you serious? I haven’t watched any sports news in a while. I was too busy, you know, coming back to life and shit.
I shake my head at her ability to joke about even the most serious of subjects before typing again.
Juliette: He lives in Pine Tree Falls!!! Literally a few blocks from me.
Evie: Everything in PTF is literally a few blocks from you.
Juliette: Not helpful.
Evie: So let me get this straight. You didn’t want a long-distance relationship, and now the fling you have feelings for lives in your town. Thereby alleviating the whole long-distance thing. That about sum it up?
Juliette: Pretty much.
Evie: I’m not seeing the problem here.
Juliette: You forgot the part where he’s my brother’s teammate. Sisters are off-limits. Especially with Bubba.
Evie: Uhh, your brother married one of your best friends. Double standard much?
Juliette: It totally is, but it’s a whole thing with hockey players. I’ve seen teams blow up over shit like this.
Evie: Hmmm.
I can picture her drumming her fingertips over her lips as she thinks, so I wait.
Evie: I think you have two options. Number one, you can bang Reno to your heart’s content and tell your brother to put on his big boy panties and deal with it.
Juliette: That option is very tempting, but what if things go sideways with me and Reno? I don’t want to be responsible for discord among teammates.
Evie: That brings us to option two. You bang your boy toy in the privacy of your own home and see how things progress. If it’s good, you both sit Bubba down and tell him the truth. That will circle back to option one and the whole big boy panties thing.
Juliette: So both options involve me banging Reno Swain?
Evie: Exactly. You’re welcome!
Juliette: He’s on his way to my house right now. I know we need to talk because I think he’s still hung up on his ex.
Evie: Where is she?
I frown at my phone screen in confusion.
Juliette: I have no idea.
Evie: I’m assuming she’s not at your house?
Juliette: Uh, no.
Evie: But you are, and that’s where he’s headed. To YOU, not her.
She makes a good point.
My body freezes when I hear a vehicle slow on Maple Court and then turn into my driveway. It’s him. He’s here. Holy shit. I send Evie a quick goodbye and thank you text before setting my phone on the dark-green countertop.
I twist my fingers into knots at my waist as I hear a car door open. Peeking out the door, I see a large, dark figure rounding a silver SUV, and I make a mental note to change the overhead light in the garage. It’s been out for a couple weeks, but I need to borrow a ladder from someone.
I press the button to close the bay door, and my eyes follow the big man mounting the two steps from the garage to my kitchen.
Before I can even say hi, I’m being lifted into strong arms, the door is kicked closed, and my legs are around his waist. Lips and tongues meet in a desperate greeting as he slams my back against the door.
Dear god, this man can kiss.
“Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to do this? Kiss you and hold you like this?” he mutters into my mouth.
“Me too,” I admit.
He pulls back an inch and goes to work on my earlobe, nipping and sucking the soft flesh as our bodies meld together.
“I had to drive home one-handed, dream girl, because I couldn’t stop smelling my fingers.”
My body heats at the dirty implication, and I drop my head back against the wood as Reno licks down my neck before biting the spot where it meets my shoulder. Dammit, he’s distracting me with that mouth of his.
“Reno, we need… to… talk,” I pant.
“Later,” he grunts, trying to kiss me again, but I turn my head, knowing I need to get this off my chest. He lifts his gaze to mine, eyebrows pinched together. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“What about Leia?” I ask.
The space between his eyebrows narrows even more, forming a dark unibrow. “What about her?”
I suck in a fortifying breath. “I think you still have feelings for her.”
Reno’s nose scrunches like he smelled a rotten egg. “Bullshit. The only feelings I have for my ex are apathy and annoyance. ”
“Y-you said her name when you were asleep. On the plane to Miami, you said ‘Leia’ and then a minute later, you said ‘I pucking love you.’” It hurts to even repeat the words that broke me, and I blink to stave off the tears.
But the response I expect from Reno is not the one I get. After about a thousand confused blinks in the span of five seconds, he laughs. Fucking laughs!
“Put me down,” I insist, getting angry and shoving at his chest, but Reno suddenly turns serious. Grasping my wrists in his big hands, he holds my arms over my head while he pins me to the door with his massive body.
“No, you’re going to listen to me, woman,” he growls, his eyes turning into round green flames. “It’s not what you think.”
With his compelling gaze holding me as captive as his body is holding mine, he tells me the story of his dream. It’s crazy, too bizarre to be made up with Jack Black, Kevin Hart, and…
“I thought Angela Lansbury was dead,” I blurt, and Reno cracks a grin.
“She is, but she was in my weird-ass dream. That doesn’t mean old Angie is my dream girl though. You are, Juliette. No one else.”
“Oh,” I whimper, finally understanding the whole scope of what I did as tears spring to my eyes. “I didn’t… I mean… I was so hurt when I heard you say you love Leia.”
“And now you know that didn’t happen. I was talking about you .”
I’m finding it hard to breathe, and I tug my arms until he lets them go. Wrapping them around his neck, I bury my face in his shoulder, and let the tears fall onto his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Reno. Can you ever forgive me?”
He strokes my hair and kisses the side of my head. “I’m not going to say I’m happy we were apart for two months, but I understand. You were hurt, sweetheart. Run-ins with the exes are always awkward, and I should have realized why you were acting so distant afterward.”
I shake my head and lift it to look at him, my hand against his scruffy cheek. And dammit if the man can’t rock some scruff. “It wasn’t you. This was all my fault. I should have told you what I heard, but I couldn’t get the words to come. I felt too raw inside.”
“We were both dealing with a lot of emotions.” He twists a finger around a strand of my hair.
“When everything blew up with Leia last year, I was hurt. My ego, for sure, and it made me feel insecure, which I didn’t like at all.
” His brow creases. “But looking back, I realize I didn’t feel that utter pain in my heart like I felt when I saw you walk away from me. ”
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” I admit, my heart thumping against my chest at the memory of it.