40. Chapter 40
Bunny ears
Excitement thrums through me as I sit in the front row of the Brewers’ arena. Tonight is the season home opener for the team, and the atmosphere is electric in here. All the hardcore fans saw the exhibition game, and they can sense that something is different this year. Namely, the defense.
My man…
The entrance music, “Boom! Shake the Room” by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, begins, and everyone jumps to their feet. It’s an old-school tune, but it gets the crowd hyped as hell.
Since our families are acquainted now, Reno arranged for his mom and grandfather to sit in our section. Gramps is directly to my right, and he and I do a little hip bump dance as we watch the entrance.
And the guys take the ice. I always love this part, but seeing Reno skating across the rink gives me an extra thrill. Especially when he finds me immediately in the crowd like I have a tracking device on me.
He tosses up two fingers in front of his chest, which looks like a simple peace sign, but I know it’s meant for me. He said he wanted a secret signal to show me he loves me, so he decided to do bunny ears. It’s truly the most fucking adorable thing ever… and it makes me feel special.
I make the sign back to him and then casually lift the front of my brother’s jersey to flash the red tank top underneath. The one with Reno’s name and number on it. That makes him grin.
I wish with all my heart I could wear his jersey with pride, but I know it would look suspicious. Next season everything will be different. We’ll tell Bubba about our relationship, and he’ll have time during the off-season to come to terms with it. And everyone will live happily ever after.
As long as my brother doesn’t kill us. Good times.
Reno skates to a section near us and approaches a little boy with dark hair. I watch on the Jumbotron as he hands the kid a puck and then receives a big, happy hug from the boy.
When they pose for a picture and Reno kisses the top of the kid’s head, my ovaries stage some kind of coup where they wrestle all the rest of my internal organs into submission and take over my entire body. I’m just one big, needy reproductive organ at this point.
I smile sadly as I think about what I have to do at my doctor’s appointment tomorrow.
The game isn’t going as well as expected. Our defense and goaltending are great, but our offense is struggling to score. Seattle is doing a good job of keeping our center and wingers contained, and we’re tied at one goal apiece near the end of the third period.
Reno is covered with sweat, his face an intense picture of determination as he skates backward and angles to control the play. He looks so fucking hot, I’m surprised he hasn’t melted the ice.
Seattle’s center is heading toward the net, trying to score, and I yell, “Come on, Gibby!” at our goalie. Gibby reaches to the right to save it, but instead of taking the shot, the center suddenly passes to the right winger, and the entire crowd gasps. Dammit, he’s going to score.
Then Reno comes out of freaking nowhere and steals the puck before making a crisp pass to Bubba.
He’s got wide open ice in front of him, and the crowd absolutely loses their minds as my brother puts on a burst of speed toward the other goal.
And just as the final horn sounds, he sneaks the puck past Seattle’s goalie to put the Brewers on top.
The crowd erupts and the other players swarm my brother.
I’m crying the happiest of tears when Reno picks up Bubba with both arms, and the camera zooms in to show the pure joy on their faces, projecting it on the large overhead screen for everyone to see.
Then they headbutt each other like the idiot hockey players they are.
When they’re done with their celebration, Reno’s green eyes find mine, and I flash him bunny ears. He laughs and does the same, his smile doing very naughty things to my vagina. Yeah, my man deserves a treat.
I might have to break out the Altoids again when we get home.
Strong arms surround me as I push through the fog of sleep the next morning. This is how I wake up every morning, Reno kissing the back of my neck and holding my boob like it’s his own personal security blanket.
“You’re gonna be late for work,” he murmurs. “Not that I’m complaining about morning snuggles with my girl.”
I roll over in his arms and stick my nose in the hollow of his throat. He smells like soap and sleepy man. “I’m actually off today because I have a doctor’s appointment. It’s in the afternoon, but I took the entire day anyway.”
“Good, baby. You deserve a day off.” Then he pauses. “Are you feeling bad or something?”
“No, it’s my annual exam with my gynecologist, but I was…” I exhale a breath and decide to tell him the truth. “I was going to have my birth control implant removed.”
“Hmm, how often do you have to replace it? ”
“Every three years. I think it’s about that time, but I was actually planning on having it removed. Not replaced.”
There’s a beat of silence before he pulls his head back to look down at me. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I was planning to have a baby.” His eyebrows almost shoot off the top of his head, and I rush to add. “It was during the time after our vacation but before I knew you moved here.”
“That… doesn’t make me feel any better, Juliette.” His nostrils flare. “Who exactly were you planning to have this baby with?”
“A donor,” I say, and Reno’s face goes through several expressions in rapid succession. Shock, anger, confusion, and something else I can’t name.
“You want to have a baby so you were going to use a sperm donor?”
“That was the plan, but like I said, it was before you came back into my life. I know it’s too early in our relationship to talk about families and babies, so I’ll just have Dr. Fergus put in a new implant.” I say it in an easy-breezy tone I don’t quite feel.
I feel the ice seep in around us as Reno’s jaw hardens. “And you weren’t even going to tell me about this plan?”
Apprehension makes my stomach hurt. He’s angry. “What do you mean? I just told you I’m getting the implant. I’m not trying to baby trap you or anything, Reno.”
He snorts out a humorless laugh. “I didn’t say you were. What I’m hearing is that you’d rather have a baby with some fucking stranger than with me.”
I’m stunned and perplexed by his attitude. “I don’t understand what you’re so mad about.”
Reno lets out a frustrated sound and rolls onto his back, rubbing at one of his eyes with the heel of his hand. He stares at the ceiling for a long time, like he’s trying to gather his strength, before turning back onto his side.
“Do you still want a baby, Juliette?” he asks point blank.
“I…”
“The truth,” he demands, and I crush my eyes closed and nod. “But you don’t want one with me. Is it because you’re afraid I’ll be like my father?”
My eyes fly open. If I’d thought I was stunned before, now I’m completely flabbergasted.
“Of course not, Reno. You’re nothing like your father.” Resting my hand on his cheek, I say, “You’re the exact opposite, and that’s why I fell in love with you so fast and so hard. I think you’d be an amazing dad.”
In his eyes, I can see the vulnerable little boy who didn’t understand why Daddy hurt them when he softly asks, “Then why don’t you want me to be your child’s father?”
Oh. God. I get it now. He’s not upset about me wanting a baby that he’s not ready for. He’s hurt because he thinks I don’t want a baby with him. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Cupping his handsome face with both my hands, I kiss him with the kind of tenderness I hope he can feel in his heart.
“I do want that, Reno. More than anything in the world. When I picture having a child, he always has dark curls and green eyes. He’s sweet and laughs at my silly jokes when he grows up, and he never rolls his eyes when I ramble.
” My voice trembles with significance on the next part.
“Because I picture a little version of you.”
Reno’s lips roll in and out a few times as he attempts to get his emotions under control. His hand drops to my bare stomach beneath the covers, and his voice goes husky.
“I don’t want you to get the implant replaced,” he says with confidence before quickly adding, “It’s your body, Juliette, and I would never, ever try to tell you what to do with it, but if it were up to me, I’d cover your body every night until I put all the babies you wanted into your belly. Because I want them too. With you.”
“You do? We’ve only been a couple for less than two months, Reno. ”
His green eyes search my face. “Are you afraid we’re not going to last? Because if you’re even the tiniest bit unsure, you should get the implant today, and we can table this discussion for a later time.”
Tears drip down my face at the empathy and understanding this big, strong man is showing me. “You’re my forever, Reno Swain. I know that in my heart, and I have complete faith in your love for me.”
That draws a smile from him.
“It’s still your choice. I know it seems fast, but if you’re ready to have a child, I’m your man.
Not some random jack-off-in-a-cup guy.” He kisses my forehead with firm lips.
“Take your time and think about it. You can always postpone your trip to the doctor. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you. ”
I’m unsure on exactly which direction I should go, but it’s those last three words— I’ll support you —that tell me no matter what decision I make, Reno will be by my side.