42. Chapter 42
Beavers and basting
I’m at Primo’s Pizza with my siblings again, but this time our dads have joined us.
They do that sometimes, though they usually let us “kids” have our fun bonding time.
Aiden is with us too, and I can’t help but stare at his precious little face as he gnaws on a breadstick, thinking that in a few months, I’ll have a baby too.
Babies, plural , I remind myself, and a smile unwittingly steals my lips.
“Season looks like it’s going to be a good one this year,” Dad says, beaming at Bubba with pride.
It’s been around two weeks since I found out I was pregnant, and the Brewers have won three more games, making them undefeated so far. One was an away game, which I missed, but I was front and center for the other two.
Reno has updated our little two-finger signal. Now when he takes the ice, he holds up both hands with his index and middle fingers lifted into a V. He told me one is because he loves me and the other is because he loves our two “little bunnies” growing in my belly.
Though fans don’t know he’s directing this salute toward me, and they certainly don't know the meaning behind it, they’ve picked up on it. Someone started making Swain T-shirts and hats with what they think is a peace sign on them, and it’s become a bit of a craze.
I love it, seeing our secret love signal spread across arenas. Secret being the key word. We decided to wait until the pregnancy reaches twelve weeks before we tell everyone. Well, I decided. Reno wants to shout it from the rooftops, but he’s respecting my wishes .
I’m currently at ten weeks, which probably means I got pregnant right after the exhibition game in August. Right after Reno and I found each other again.
My man has gone completely bonkers. Seriously, it’s like he’s been smacked in the head by some deranged baby fairy. He’s obsessed with online shopping, sending me at least twelve links a day to get my opinion on which crib or twin stroller I prefer.
And then he buys them. The few times I’ve snuck into his apartment to see him, I found myself barely able to move around because of all the boxes. He’s also car shopping, determined to find the safest vehicles in existence to drive our precious cargo that will be arriving next May.
Despite my protests, Reno has a new SUV on order for me, a custom-made Porsche Macan with all the bells and whistles. The custom part? Yeah, he’s having the damn thing bullet- and bomb-proofed, like someone is going to be shooting RPGs at me and our babies in the middle of Pine Tree Falls.
He’s completely ridiculous but also incredibly cute, and I love that crazy, baby-obsessed daddy with all my heart.
I tune back into the hockey talk around the table as the server begins bringing pizzas. My lips turn up at the corners when I look across the table at Aiden, who claps happily when he sees his cheese pizza.
“Just a second, you little monster,” Holly says, picking up a piece of it and blowing on it. “Let me cool it off first.”
Bubba, who’s sitting beside me tonight, distracts his son with goofy faces.
“And the last one,” the server says, placing a pizza in front of Bubba and Jordie. “Supreme with anchovies.”
The pungent scent of the tiny fish turns my stomach, and I slap my hand over my mouth. “Sorry, stinks,” I mumble, leaping up from the table and dashing to the restroom in the back. I barely make it before I lose my guts in the toilet.
“Shit,” I breathe, spitting one last time into the bowl before blindly reaching for the toilet paper .
“Jules, you okay?” the sweet voice of my sister asks from outside the stall.
“Yeah,” I croak out before wiping my mouth and flushing the toilet. When I open the door, I see Jordie leaning against the sink. “I’m fine. I’m not sure what happened there.” I add a chuckle that I hope doesn’t sound as nervous as it feels. Because I do know what happened. In a word: pregnancy.
My sister wets a paper towel and dabs at my sweaty forehead. “I have some mouthwash in my purse.” She produces a travel-sized bottle, and I take a mouthful, swishing it around before spitting. “Better?” she asks.
“Much. Thank you. You didn’t have to follow me in here.”
She gives me a careful hug. “I don’t mind. Do you need me to drive you home?”
I return her embrace and shake my head. “I’ll be fine. Let’s go back out there.”
When we arrive at the table, I find that my family has rearranged themselves, leaving an open seat at the opposite end of the table from the offending pizza.
I take my seat beside Holly, and smile through wobbly lips. “Sorry, everyone. Not sure what happened.”
My friend bobs her eyebrows up and down. “Oh, I think I know.” I zip a glare at her, warning her not to say it, but she does anyway. Gleefully. “You’re pregnant.”
It’s like The Exorcist at our table with heads spinning in my direction, six sets of eyes asking me for confirmation. All except Aiden because he’s blissfully munching on his cheese pizza, bless his cute little heart. My thoughts whir around in my brain, looking for a foothold but finding none.
Except for the truth. I can’t exactly tell my family I’m not pregnant, and then when the designated time comes, yell, “Surprise! I was a big fat liar two weeks ago!” Even with a bright smile and jazz hands, that wouldn’t go over well.
So I paste on a smile and admit, “I am.”
There’s only a beat of processing time before chaos ensues. Someone knocks a drink over, someone else claps, and everyone is talking at once.
“Congratulations, sis.”
“That was fast.”
“When are you due?”
“You’re going to rock this.”
“I didn’t even know you were dating anyone, honey.”
That last one was from Dad, and I wince. My siblings know about my plan to have a child, but I hadn’t told my fathers yet, so me being pregnant is kind of out of left field for them.
Plus, I promised Reno I wouldn’t divulge our relationship without him present, but what choice do I have? Maybe this would be better. There’s no way Bubba would flip the table in a rage in the middle of a busy restaurant.
Probably.
But before I can answer Dad’s inquiry, Holly covers my hand protectively.
“Juliette decided a while back that she wants to have a baby, and we’re all going to support her, right?
” She glares around the table until everyone nods.
“She’s a grown woman who can make her own reproductive choices, and if she wants to go to a sperm bank, that’s perfectly fine. Women do it every day.”
Well. Shit.
While I appreciate the sentiment behind her rah-rah-ree speech, she’s now given everyone the impression that I used an anonymous donor.
This is a clusterfuck of epic proportions.
I open my mouth to set the record straight, but all of a sudden, everyone is on their feet, taking turns hugging me and whispering supportive words in my ear as happy tears begin to flow from my eyes.
Pops presses a paper napkin into my hand and kisses my forehead. “Another baby in the family. I’m so happy, sweetheart.”
“I… thank yo u,” I say, dabbing at my eyes before taking my seat.
Okay, maybe this way wouldn’t be so bad. I could let this little misconception ride until I can talk to Reno. If he wants to have a private conversation with Bubba before we explain the misunderstanding, since they’re such good friends, that will be fine. It will all be fine.
Everyone sits back down, and Dad motions for the server to bring a towel for the spilled drink. Holly bumps me with her shoulder. “I’m so excited we’ll have kids about the same age. They’ll be cousins and best friends.”
“Or they’ll fight like cats and dogs like Xander and Jordie did when they were little,” Pops says with a chuckle.
As if to prove his point, Xander pulls Jordie’s blonde ponytail, and she punches him in the arm.
Meanwhile, Holly has both her index fingers in the air and is doing a wiggle dance while singing, “Preggy, preggy, preggy. Juliette is preggy.”
Aiden points at me and yells, “Peggy!”
I scowl at Holly. “Thanks a lot. Now my nephew thinks my name is Peggy.”
She laughs and kisses my cheek while everyone resumes eating. “How did you do the procedure? At the clinic or did you do it at home?”
I bite my lip to restrain the giggle about to escape. “The procedure? I, uh, did it at home.” Many, many times.
“You should have told me so I could help you. I took animal husbandry classes in college.”
The bite of pizza I’d just taken falls out of my mouth and into my lap. “Help me?” My voice is higher than that last key on a piano.
“You know.” She mimes sticking an object into an… orifice. “Help you get the baby juice where it needs to go.”
Bubba stares at his wife in disbelief while Dad glugs down the rest of his beer in one go. I’m speechless, but unfortunately, Holly is not.
“I inseminated a beaver once,” she says conversationally. “Used a tiny little thing similar to a turkey baster.” She pretends to pinch a small dropper, and poor Pops goes into a coughing fit. Jordie pounds him on the back, her eyes almost bulging from their sockets .
Bubba lowers Holly’s still pinching fingers to the table. “Honey, thank you for sharing that with the entire family ,” he says pointedly, but she doesn’t get the hint.
“Of course, I would have used a large one for Jules since her—”
“Holly!” I snap before we get into a whole conversation about my apparently super-sized vagina, and she shrugs.
“Whaaat? It’s science.”
Swear to god, this entire dinner is trying to kill me.
“Welp,” I call out, marching into Reno’s apartment and dropping my purse on the table. “The cat’s out of the bag. One of them anyway. I feel like we have an entire litter of cats in our secret bag.”
Reno is on the couch, looking at his phone, and he doesn’t seem to have heard me because he replies with, “Babe, do you think the babies need watches?”
Oh for the love of…
“What are you talking about, Reno?”