3. Izzy
~ YILAN ~
The bright sunlight filtered in through the filigree screens that now surrounded the covered balcony off of my personal apartments.
The screens, which had been added in my absence, were delicately wrought from handcrafted iron and bronze, and must have taken every hour of the months I’d been away to complete.
I shuddered to think what work had gone untouched in the city while the smiths and metalworkers made them.
They were beautiful works of art. But they turned my balcony, which had always been my sanctuary, into a cell.
A stunning, gilded, impenetrable cage .
An hour after fleeing Melek, then Turo, I stepped out of the large doors of my personal apartment and onto the balcony where I had once spent mornings like this bathed in light.
But the entire space was now dim, even with the bright sun breaking through the countless gaps in the screens, which had been made to look like leaves and vines but were in fact a metalwork fortress.
No gap large enough for a spear to pass through and no external vantage point from which an arrow could be loosed to good effect.
A wall of protection, according to Turo.
A cage to me.
Servants lined the wall, bowing and curtseying as I passed. I tried to smile, nodded to accept their respects and thanked them, but my blood was running cold. The decision to imprison my quarters hadn’t been theirs, so I wouldn’t make them pay for my frustration.
I’d throw my choice words at Turo, the true culprit, this afternoon.
What the actual fuck had he been thinking?
He knew I loved this space. Knew it was where I went to relax and breathe. It didn’t matter how pretty the bars of a cage might appear—they were still bars.
The hair on the back of my neck stood up and my breathing wanted to quicken. I gripped my skirts to stop my hands shaking, trying to appear serene, and took slow, even strides towards the dappled light falling over my chair and table where I took informal meals.
My lips twisted in disapproval at the screens blocking my view of the gardens and river below, but my heart fluttered with anticipation.
Istral was on her way to share breakfast with me.
I had arrived so late the night before and there had been so many things to do that I hadn’t had a second to myself until now.
Which was just as well since Istral didn’t cope well with tension, and I’d been very tense, anticipating Melek’s reaction.
Even now I couldn’t relax, but at least I was no longer twisted up inside.
He knew everything now. All that was left was to wait.
I should have rested. But I knew I would struggle to sleep until I had clarity. And a massive, warm body nearby.
I’d grown accustomed to falling asleep to the rhythm of his breathing.
Melek.
I tried to push the yearning thoughts of him away. But I wasn’t fast enough to stop the memory of his expression painted in rage, and those gorgeous green eyes pinched in grief.
Thoughts of Melek made a fearful pang zing through my chest. And then I was flooded in the memory, as if I was living it all over again.
He was shaking and unhappy but listening. “I need think about this.”
I almost tripped as I reached my seat at the small table near the railing. My toe caught on the silk when I leaned down to catch my skirts, readying to sit. I pitched forward, grabbing for the edge of the table to steady myself—wincing when the glassware and cutlery rattled and clinked .
Thank God nothing fell off.
Cheeks a little warm, I settled myself into the chair, allowing Berne, my primary butler, to scoot it in for me.
“Can I bring you chocolate, Ma’am?” he asked quietly. “Or would you prefer fruit for your sweet this morning?”
“Chocolate.” I had eaten several small, hurried meals since we arrived home. But after months in that fucking Neph camp I deserved a treat, dammit. “Bring enough for two. Istral will want some as well… Where is my sister?” I asked worriedly.
“Harris is bringing her. She’ll be right along, I’m sure.” Berne nodded once, certain as always that no one in the Palace would deign to ignore my orders.
He was a pompous man—far more uptight and rigid than any of the Court. But he lived his life to serve me. And by all accounts he had been quite flustered for these months when I was gone, completely at a loss for what to do with himself.
His primary emotion at my return appeared to be relief.
Berne bowed, the wisps of hair that he brushed across his pate fluttering in the light breeze that still made it through the screens.
Then he turned on his heel and marched back into my apartment.
I knew he’d hurry to the nearby working kitchen to get hot chocolate for me and Istral, which would give me a moment to sit in the quiet.
I made myself turn to look through the gaps in the screens and so discovered that close-up like this I could still see much of the garden below.
The carpet of green lawn two floors below was broken by flowerbeds and shrubberies.
Taller grasses and a few trees lined the banks of the river that flowed north just beyond the lawn.
It was where I’d learned to swim when I was young.
A breeze blew, rustling the trees shading the garden and both sides of the river. I turned instinctively when a shadow passed over the sun—just a flock of birds—but was distracted by a pinch at my waist. I had forgotten how uncomfortable corsets were.
Dear God. I am Queen . I should have the authority to ban these torture devices, I thought as I yanked at the bodice and attempted to give my squashed internal organs more room. But I wouldn’t deny that I had always enjoyed the looks in men’s eyes when they thought I wasn’t watching.
I wondered what Melek had thought seeing me in rich, feminine clothes—and then I remembered I’d been draped in my cloak. He’d seen nothing. Nor had he tried to look .
Our bond was new, but I was already accustomed to the hunger in his eyes when he looked at me. The quick scan when he saw me even after just moments apart.
But there had been none of that.
My guts twisted and tangled. What if he—
“Lani!”
The happy shriek made my heart leap with joy. I shoved out of the chair, whirling to meet my sister, Istral. She sprinted towards me, her arms up and wide like a child asking to be lifted though she was as tall as me.
We met in the middle, both of us laughing as she threw herself into my chest and hugged me so tightly that she shook.
“You’re home! You’re safe! You’re home!”
I held her just as firmly with my chin on her shoulder and my eyes squeezed shut against the tears that wanted to come. But I wouldn’t cry because it always upset her, even when I told her the tears were happy.
So, I swallowed them back and held her for as long as she could bear it.
When she loosened her grip and started to pull back, I let her go. Smiling into her bright eyes I stroked her hair, petting her because I needed the comfort of being close and she was my heart’s joy.
“You look beautiful, Izzy!”
And she did. Her hair—as golden as mine was black, and in thin, spiral curls, though mine was straight as an arrow—had been cut to brush the tops of her shoulders. Her eyes were bright, sparkling with her smile.
If our faces hadn’t been almost identical, I might have questioned our shared lineage. But there was no mistaking that we were sisters. Except, God had painted us different colors. I took after our father, while Istral was as beautiful and gentle as our late mother.
“Tell me everything!” I said, taking her hand and drawing her back towards the table. “Everything you can remember,” I added so she wouldn’t feel pressured.
“You’ve been gone so long! And there’s been so many things! I was so scared, Lani. You told me it would only be a few weeks.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I was held up—”
“Her Highness has been very worried about you, Your Majesty.”
Istral and I turned together as Harris, Istral’s companion, tutor, and secretly trained guard strode onto the balcony, beaming .
She was a handsome woman somewhere in her forties. Her hair was just beginning to turn gray at her temples. She kept her hair short, wore trousers like a man, and had never married.
Many of the Court whispered things about her. I told them in no uncertain terms, they were never to repeat them in my hearing—or Istral’s. Nor were they to create ill-feeling with anyone else.
Harris was a Godsend.
With the help of a battery of servants, I had been Istral’s primary carer when our parents died eight years earlier.
But taking the throne meant that very few of my hours were mine to choose in a day, and Istral needed constant attention.
She wasn’t incapable of caring for herself.
But, be it a man simply wanting to plow a pretty woman regardless of her childlike mind, or an enemy seeking leverage against my Kingdom, she could be used or manipulated too easily.
And she would be if the wrong person got their hands on her.
I did everything in my power to keep Istral’s life as full and beautiful as the light she brought into mine. But I think without Harris things might have gone very differently for me and my sister these past few years.
Harris claimed to have had a brother with similar afflictions to Istral’s. I didn’t know if that was true as I’d never met anyone who knew Harris before she sought employment at the Palace. But I knew she was a wonderful companion for Istral and had a way with children, or anyone of a simple mind.
Over the years, I had learned that she was discreet and wise, and she showed an unflappable steadiness in the face of any crisis, including Istral’s rare but very disturbing turns.
My sister was a beautiful soul, and usually very easily pleased. But once or twice a year, something would overtake her. A panic. And if she wasn’t handled correctly when she began to spiral, her mental state would derail quickly.