6. Torment
~ MELEK ~
As night fell, I lay in the dark in that extravagant room, the windows open and unshuttered to allow both moonlight and the wind into the space.
I was having trouble breathing.
It felt like a thousand tiny thorns pricked and scraped under my skin. At first, I’d thought she put me under some kind of spell. But other than the guard bringing food, no one had spoken to me, or visited since I’d screamed at Yilan to get out of my head.
And of course, those images never stopped. I would push them away one by one, but they returned the moment my attention was diverted.
My mate, her skin flushed and warm, her hair messy and laying under my wing as she smiled and reached for me…
My mate crawling onto me, straddling me. My hands fitting in the curves of her waist, pulling her down onto me, taking her… her head thrown back and breasts bouncing as she called for me—
Fuck!
My heart thumped in my chest in a steady beat, shoving a heady mix of thrill and desire through my veins. I clawed a hand through my hair. I was beginning to sweat.
I groaned with the fucking torment of it all, and that space in my chest where she resided tugged at me .
I blinked and brought a shaking hand up to that place at the center of my chest, behind my ribs.
When I touched it, something pulsed.
Her.
Want and fear and possessive drive coiled through me like snakes, battling rage and betrayal and grief.
I was grieving her, and she didn’t fucking deserve it!
Except, her face when she’d spoken to me alone. The pleading in her eyes. The hope…
Could it be an act?
Around and around my mind went again. And still no more answers than I’d had hours before.
She had lied to me, at least by omission. Drugged me. Abducted me. And now she was holding me prisoner. There was nothing in that which inspired trust, or safety.
And yet I ached for her. Ached for her smile. Yearned for her voice. And now my body wanted hers. I wanted her with a cock-hard fire that threatened to drive me mad.
And deep, deep down inside, under the layers of everything else, I was simply weary and possessive, knowing that crafty fucker Turo was doing everything in his power to take her from me.
Somehow, I was desperately afraid of losing her, even though I was the one keeping us apart.
I hadn’t been here twenty-four hours and I wanted out.
Physical pain I could endure.
Waiting, I could be patient.
Battle I could meet with a prayer and a roar.
But this? This was torture.
To give in and reject the bond, reject her and this crown she offered… it would free my mind, but imprison my soul.
And yet, embracing her and this new role, with this new people, would mean fighting my own. My own who had never had a chance to exist without the leadership of a male who strove for everything ruthlessly.
My people might be soulless—I wasn’t convinced. While it was true there were plenty whose throats I would cut without a second thought, they were not all bad. There were many with hearts and minds open to good.
Should I ignore those worth saving? Punish them alongside the brutal ?
Then I heard my own thoughts and swore. She had me so twisted in my mind that I was weighing betraying my people against leading hers?
God help me, I was a mess.
I rolled over, burying my face in the pillow, but the position brought my aching cock against the furs and my skin pebbled. My hips twitched as even the slightest movement sent waves of prickling pleasure washing through me, and images crashed into my head of Yilan, naked and sweating—
God, I needed to stop!
But my body fought my mind, and my weariness won out over my resolve.
With a low whine of despair, I relented and took myself in-hand and let myself imagine her there with me, bathed in moonlight.
I saw myself take her slowly, watching her eyes roll back and her body shudder with pleasure.
The remembered sensation of her clenching on me tore a deep moan from my throat, and I began to pump against my own grip.
Deep in my chest, something came alight— her. As my body tightened and trembled, as sweat sheened my skin, as the need grew demanding, then urgent, I fought the climax to extend the pleasure.
And through it all, I saw her in my mind.
Yilan.
My mate.
My soulbond.
My love.
The climax hit like a boulder bouncing off a hill, tumbling me, pummeling me, stealing my air, turning me so I didn’t know up from down. Then leaving me at the bottom of the cliff… depleted.
Exhausted.
And still fucking needy for her.
I didn’t know how it was possible, how she had dug her talons so deep. But her torment was perfect. Utterly irresistible.
I could accept pain.
But need?
God help me, I was going to give in.
~ YILAN ~
I lay in bed, staring at the dark ceiling, itching, and restless.
I could feel him. I wanted him. And he wanted me.
It was torture.
The afternoon with Gall had been such a joy. We were still uncertain how this would go. But Istral was bubbling, and Gall was transfixed. The real problem wasn’t him. It was Melek.
Melek who had screamed at me to leave.
Melek who suspected my every word and intention.
Melek who thought I was playing with his mind, and I wasn’t.
I wanted to weep every time I thought of him. I wanted to leave my rooms and go to him. I wanted to throw that cell open and tell him to do his worst, and I’d pray that he’d take me rather than kill me.
But I knew the moment I did, my people would kill him.
I needed to tell them. All of them. But I couldn’t. Not unless Melek claimed the bond. They would crown him as soon as they heard, whether he wanted it or not.
There was a flash in my head of Turo’s face, hard and confused, angry. I had caught him watching me more than once this evening. But he didn’t speak, and he didn’t defy me.
I could feel the tension ticking tighter and tighter every hour.
Even more than the others, he needed to understand.
I wanted to tell him. But deep down I knew if I pushed Melek on one more thing, it would tip him over the edge. I had to give him time to choose the crown, or it would forever be a burden that I placed on his shoulders.
And so, I laid in bed in my nightdress, feeling a little bit cold, afraid, and lonely.
And then I felt him. I felt the warm power of him shifting in my chest.
My instincts perked, and my senses prickled. What was he—
A surge of desire, of need, sang in the bond and stopped my breath. My heart thumped. I gripped the bed furs as the ache began again, low in my belly.
“No,” I breathed into the dark.
I could feel him, feel his desire growing and his ache being fed, which only brought images to mind of the barrel of his chest, those thick coils of muscles on his arms and shoulders, and that tendon on his neck that I had tasted, nipped .
Want clanged through me and my heart rate tripped up another notch. My breathing was shallow and sharp, audible in the silent room. Desire became so acute, it hurt. And yet, my body roared higher, tighter.
It was too much. Too painful to want so deeply and be denied. Too frightening to watch it torn from my fingers. But just as I screwed up my face and a sob made my body shake, I punched a hand into the mattress, clawing my fingers into it and pushing myself up.
“No. Fucking, no! Fucking men and their fucking pride and stubborn heads!” I muttered, shoving out of the bed and wiping the pathetic tears from my face. “Fucking Nephilim and their blind fucking loyalty to a bestial pig, and I’m the problem here? No!” I snarled.
I didn’t bother dressing, just yanked the first cloak I found in the wardrobe and threw it on over my nightdress as I rushed back into the chamber and out through the sitting area.
I was about to open the door to the corridor and storm out when I remembered where I was, who I was, and what exactly would happen if my guards learned what I was doing.
I made myself stop and think.
They couldn’t stop me. A word, even a look, and they would remain while I stormed through the Palace to the tower.
But they would talk.
Talk of a Queen who disappeared into the enemy’s lair and returned changed.
Talk of a woman who left holding virtue, and returned obsessed with the enemy—one of them in particular.
Talk of whether or not my judgment had been compromised, and my virtue stripped along with my body.
I shook my head. If I was going to follow that pulse in my chest that echoed Melek’s thudding heart, I needed to be smart about it.
I was a shadow walker, and a Queen. A woman, and a mate.
Not one of them understood what I carried, or why. Not even Melek, but definitely not Turo, or the other soldiers. They mean well, but… there was no need for them to even know I’d left my chambers.
Taking a deep breath, I re-examined the door.
Light glowed in a line around the frame, shadows from the hallway outside shifting across it along with low, murmured male voices .
Dammit, they had the lanterns lit. That meant no shadows large enough to hide me until the intersection of halls about thirty feet beyond my door.
It was a stretch, especially when I was this tired. But with the adrenaline still coursing in my veins I could do it.
With a whispered prayer, I waited until the voices grew more animated and broke into low chuckles, then held my breath and walked the shadows. Passing through the wall and past the guards, I moved into the deep shadow of night in the corner of the unlit hallway.
But moments later, steady on my feet in that pocket of darkness, I was cursing.
Bright cones of light punctured the corridors for the entire length, some dim enough not to reach the other edge of the corridor, but many melding and creating walls of light through which I’d be forced to pass.
Fucking Turo. He knew exactly what he was doing.
There was a niggle in the back of my mind, a question about what would make him so determined to keep me in my rooms, but I pushed it away.
I would deal with Turo tomorrow.