9. Lira
9
LIRA
M y hands clenched in my lap as Tavish changed right in front of me. He’d been overbearing, controlling, and passionate, but his face had turned stony … more calculating, like the night he’d thrown me in the holding cell.
“I will kill you.” Tavish took a bite of his fish as if the words hadn’t been hard to say.
Swallowing, I managed to hold my head in place and not allow it to snap back. He kept saying that he would hurt me, but since this morning, I hadn’t fully believed him … until now. Maybe that had been part of his plan, some psychological warfare, which I’d fallen for. “Then why haven’t you done it yet?”
“Eager to die, sprite?” He chuckled, placing his fork back on the plate.
“If that’s the only way I can be free of you .” I’d rather die than lose all my dignity and break in front of him. He didn’t deserve to break me, especially since I hadn’t done a damn thing to him or his people. “ Nightmare .” I added my own special nickname again, needing to remind myself that he was the enemy more than to actually hurt him.
He smirked like he approved of the name.
Bastard.
“It’s a relief to hear that you do plan to kill her.” Eldrin’s shoulders relaxed marginally. “I’d begun to doubt your intentions. If that’s the plan, why is she sitting here with us, and when is her execution?”
“Spilling the blood of the Seelie princess will restore the spirit of our people.” Caelan lifted a black napkin to his face and wiped his mouth.
My stomach roiled, and I noticed how Finnian had bit his bottom lip instead of interjecting. I’d need to keep an eye on him—maybe he could become an ally.
“Precisely.” Tavish placed his hands on the table. “The Seelie princess, which she isn’t yet. We need her powers to awaken and her memories to return in order for the Seelie to feel her magic and know she’s returned to Ardanos. They’ll be desperate to find her, which will be when the four of us, with most of the army, will arrive at the Seelie veil they created to keep us from returning home and slit their princess’s throat, allowing it to coat our bodies so we can finally enter the kingdom once again.”
I was thankful I didn’t have an appetite. Otherwise, I was certain my stomach would have emptied its contents. I wanted to believe I wasn’t a fae, but between my blood color changing and every memory of my childhood gone, I couldn’t discount it. Though, I still doubted I was the actual princess. Either way, I had to make an escape plan quickly.
Not having wings was extremely problematic.
Finnian leaned back and clapped his hands. “Very theatrical and vicious—your father would be so proud. No wonder you don’t want her harmed until the time comes to reveal her soiled and broken right in front of her parents’ eyes.”
His eyes didn’t sparkle the way they had when he’d teased me. I had to hope that meant something.
“Yes, he would.” Eldrin nodded, a smirk firmly in place. “That is a plan every Unseelie can get behind.”
My mouth went dry, and I took hold of my water. Even though I wasn’t hungry, I couldn’t risk dehydration.
The conversation turned to a prisoner dispute from earlier, and I got lost in my thoughts, trying to think of a good way out.
Dinner had been awful. I ate a few bites of some sort of barely edible sulfuric fish and two small mushrooms with a slightly sweet flavor. I had to keep my strength up to get out of here. From what I’d seen, there was only one set of large doors to the castle, which meant I’d have to climb out a window to escape.
The entire way back to Tavish’s room, I took in every corner and crevice, trying to remember everything : where people tended to collect, the guards who flew along the hallways, and even which areas appeared darker than others, which I’d need to avoid since the fae here could blend in with the shadows.
In fact, light would be my best friend because a dark, shadowy blob flitting around would reveal that Tavish or his cousin was nearby.
Unlike on the way down, Tavish walked briskly, clutching my arm. My right toes throbbed as I walked quickly to keep up with him, and I began limping. His hand tightened on my arm, but he slowed slightly .
His touch still created that frustrating buzz, and despite the way he’d been walking, his fingers were firm but light, as though he couldn’t make himself be more brutal. But I chose to focus on the pain and not on what his touch did to my body.
The two guards stood watch at the double doors to his room. I hadn’t gotten a good look at them earlier, but now I took in every inch to determine what I’d be up against when I tried to leave.
One was female. I’d assumed that Tavish’s most trusted would all be men, but once again, I’d been wrong. Her deep-set dark eyes focused on me, and she lifted a brow as she scanned me. A candle in a sconce burning over her head cast a warm glow on her light tan skin and reflected off her dark armor and long, thin, black hair.
“I’m assuming you haven’t noticed anything, Torcall?” Tavish asked curtly, his fingers digging into my skin.
I flinched but swallowed the whimper. He wanted to prove a point to everyone, but that didn’t mean I would help him. If his people revolted against him, even a few of them, that would give me a chance to break free.
“No, Your Highness,” the other guard, a bulky guy, said from his spot in front of me. He had startlingly blue eyes that continually searched the area for threats. Between that and his dark skin and white hair, the man was very striking. “Finola and I haven’t moved from our posts.”
“Good.” Tavish strolled by them, opening the door. “You two are dismissed for the night. Send your relief to take your station. I need you both back here in the morning.”
He tugged me more gently, but my feet ached so much that I stumbled again on what I suspected to be broken toes.
Tears burned in my eyes, but I blinked to keep them at bay. I wasn’t sure if Tavish wanted to prove something to himself, to me, or both, but he was being awful.
I couldn’t believe we’d basically kissed just an hour ago. My lips still tingled from the way his mouth had felt on mine.
“What’s wrong, sprite?” Once the doors banged shut, Tavish eased his hold and slipped his arm around my waist. He took some of the weight off my foot even though he continued, “Are you not fond of mistreatment?”
Any butterflies I’d been feeling for him disappeared. I didn’t need to get confused about my feelings for him, and his being a cold asshole helped.
Not wanting him to continue touching me and messing with my head, I limped away. “Nope. Crying because you smell so bad. Maybe you should put me back in the holding cell so I can actually get some sleep.”
He laughed, and the sound was warm and genuine.
His hot-and-cold demeanor gave me whiplash. “Oh, are you back to being somewhat humane now that we’re not around your besties and cousin?”
“Besties?” His forehead wrinkled. “What is that?”
“Your close friends—Caelan and Finnian.” Even though we both spoke English, we had different vernaculars that hindered us from time to time.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making it messy.
I hated how my heart skipped a beat.
“Everything they said is true.” Tavish exhaled. “And I fear our past is clouding my judgment. I can’t allow that. My people have suffered so much because of your family. My hands are tied, and whatever we’re feeling can’t happen. I have to kill you, sprite. Have no doubt about that. ”
His admission that he felt something for me made me want to close the distance between us. I couldn’t do that. He’d made it clear where his loyalties lay, and it wasn’t with me. I refused to bring up again that I’d had nothing to do with the attack. We’d already had that conversation. “You’ve made it clear.”
He sighed and went to the bed, grabbing a pillow and the large comforter. He placed both on the floor. “This is where you’ll sleep tonight.”
“Why not just send me back to the holding cell?” I crossed my arms to prevent myself from shaking.
“Because I harmed a guard today on your behalf, threatened another, and informed the guards that you’ll be sleeping in here since I can’t trust them.” Tavish’s wings fluttered. “If I take you back, I’ll look indecisive, which is unacceptable. And the truth is, I don’t want you to be harmed until the time is forced upon us.”
Not wanting to continue this conversation, I made my way to the makeshift bed on the floor. I wanted to close my eyes and go over everything I’d seen tonight before I forgot anything.
Preparing for another uncomfortable night, I wrapped myself in the comforter. It felt like silk on my skin, and as I nestled into the pillow, I could’ve believed it was a cloud. It was almost as comfortable as my bed back home … and smelled like Tavish.
I wanted to stare out the window, but I turned to face the bed in case Tavish tried to kill me during the night.
He climbed into bed, and I couldn’t see him anymore.
“Don’t worry,” he said softly, like he feared someone outside would hear him. “I won’t hurt you until I’m forced to. Rest well.”
A sob built in my chest, but I forced it away. I had to focus on a plan … a way to escape. Dad had told Eiric and me over and over again that if we ever got into a dangerous situation, we shouldn’t waste energy on being upset but rather focus every last ounce of concentration we had on surviving until he could find us.
He was right. That was exactly what I had to do.
I had the two daggers, and I knew how to climb and how to fight. Now, I just needed to figure out how to use those three things to get out of here without flying fae catching me.
I faced the windows and examined them and every corner of the room I could see until I passed out.
Time blurred together due to the darkness surrounding me and the monotonous days. Tavish had left me alone today and had yet to return.
Being stuck in this room all the time with only my own company, I was certain I was losing my mind. My one solace was that Tavish still hadn’t found the daggers in the bathroom. Granted, he hadn’t been spending a lot of time in his room, coming back only after dinner with cold leftovers for me to eat before going to bed.
Now, I stood at the windows, trying to calculate how far away the edge of the rocky cliff was from here. It was at least twenty feet, which was too high for me to jump from, but maybe I could climb the way to the cliff instead.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed on the glass to lift it open and see what was directly beneath me. I hadn’t been able to move around the castle again, so I had no escape plan from here .
As soon as the window rose an inch, the doorknob to the bedchamber turned.
Shit.
I lowered the window and took several large steps back just as Finola hurried in, her sword drawn. Her gaze locked on me and went to the window. She scowled. “Did you open the window?”
The other night, I’d realized why I couldn’t lie. It was something I’d read in one of the folklore books my family favored. Fae couldn’t lie, so I had to choose my words carefully. “Considering how fast you got in here, does it look open?” I rocked back on my feet, thankful that my toes didn’t hurt anymore, though my middle one was crooked.
“Then what did I hear?” She tilted her head.
I hated the way she looked at me … like she saw so much. It reminded me of Eiric, which meant I needed to redirect the conversation. I remembered how Finnian had been accused of trying to bed one of the servants, so that was a safe place to head. “There’s a lot of noise around here. For all I know, it could have been Finnian trying to get you into bed.” I didn’t know why, but I’d expected Finnian to visit me. He’d been as missing as Tavish.
She laughed. “I do think, Seelie Princess, that if we’d met under different circumstances, the two of us could have been friends.”
I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, hating how it already felt a little greasy. Though I’d been brought new outfits that appeared to have belonged to servants, I refused to bathe again.
A faint scar still marked my chest from when Eldrin had caught me alone in the bath. I didn’t want to re-create that moment ever again.
“Don’t do something foolish and force Torcall’s and my hands to keep you in line.” Finola sheathed her sword before heading back out to her post, leaving me alone.
I paced around the comforter on the floor, wanting to scream and throw a tantrum. Instead, I went back to thinking. One thing I had noticed was that there weren’t many guards outside, and groups of people often lined up in front of the palace, chanting something, though I couldn’t make out what. Most of the attention outside was focused on them.
Heavy footsteps echoed from the other side of the door, and Eldrin entered the bedroom.
His face was taut, and his lips pressed together as he hovered by the door. “Still no magic?”
“Nope.” The guards came in every hour to see if they could sense my magic returning. Apparently, fae could feel the magic inside each other, though they might not be able to tell exactly what it was. So far, my scent and blood were the only things that labeled me fae. “Did you not believe the reports that are no doubt getting back to you?”
“Sometimes, I need to see things for myself.” He wrinkled his nose and sneered. “But you should really bathe.”
My stomach hardened. He knew why I wouldn’t, and he loved it.
“Well, I have things I need to attend to with Tavish about our people.” He blew out a breath. “But it would be really helpful for him if you could harness your magic and fast.”
I laughed bitterly. “Oh, I’ll get on that. I’d love to help him out so he can kill me.” Even though Tavish returned each night, the distance between us had grown, and a stupid part of me missed him. I craved the buzz of his touch and wanted to taste his lips again, but that would never happen.
Besides, he seemed more than fine.
“Dragging out your fate is foolish. But what else should I expect from a sunscorched?” Eldrin rolled his eyes and left.
If I ever got out of here, I vowed to come back one day and kill the pompous asshole.
I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to channel my rage without causing a ruckus that would result in one of the guards checking on me again. The sweet taste of my blood filled my mouth, and my breathing turned rapid. I felt like a caged animal.
Suddenly, I heard a loud scream. It sounded like Eldrin calling for help.
I hurried to the door and pushed it open, planning to ask the guards what was happening, only to see them flying down the hallway toward the noise.
Leaving me unguarded.
My pulse pounded.
This was it.
The moment I’d been waiting for.
I was getting the hell out of here and never looking back.