Chapter 33
We don’t stop until we reach the spot where the Emerald Forest thins out, giving way to open countryside. Night is drawing in, and Destan and I are both relieved when Ruskin says it’s safe enough to snatch some rest. I find it hard to sleep though, watching the stars from the makeshift bed of springy moss Ruskin has conjured for me, wrapped up tight in my cloak.
Destan snores a few feet away, but Ruskin’s still awake too.
“We’re not far from Lake Irnua now,” he says, pointing at a glinting spot in the sky that helps him gauge direction. “Then onwards up the mountain trail and across the Unseelie border. She won’t follow us there.”
I nod, squinting at the glittering lights in the inky black above us.
“You know, back home there are people who claim to be able to read the stars. They say they can predict your fate from them,” I say.
“I suppose that’s what people do when they don’t have true names to attach meaning to,” he says, looking away from the sky to meet my gaze.
“I suppose.” I smile.
“Lunasworn,” he whispers, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “Sword of the moon. It’s certainly impressive.”
I roll my eyes playfully. “Absolutely. Much better than Shield of the Sun.”
He smiles, but then it shifts into something more serious.
“I thought you didn’t trust in the lore about naminai. I seem to remember you saying something about it not being written in stone?” He searches my face, as if looking for the answers as to why I changed my mind.
I sigh, shifting closer to him, pressing myself up against the warmth of his flank. Without a word he wraps an arm around me, and I lay my head against his shoulder, feeling the comforting thud of his heartbeat.
“I don’t want fate to decide anything for me. I’m happy to make my own choices. But at the founding stone I realized I trust you, truly. Even if you can’t tell me all your secrets. Even if there are things I can never know.”
Ruskin takes my hand and rests it on his chest.
“Close your eyes,” he says, and I obey. “Now, reach out to me with your magic.”
“Why?”
“Just do it,” he says with a light chuckle.
“Okay…”
Right away I see what he’s trying to show me. It’s the same link I used to channel my magic to him. In my mind’s eye it’s like a golden bridge, connecting us together, a pathway along which we can share everything—power, strength, emotions. It’s beautiful, and a little overwhelming. It feels like I’ve forever opened up a piece of my heart, so that it is now and always will be exposed to him. At the same time I wonder how the bridge could ever have not existed. It feels so inevitable, so at home there, between us.
“That’s the bond,” Ruskin says, knowing I feel it. “It’s what you accepted when you told me your true name.”
I turn to Ruskin and kiss him, seeking out the familiar fit of his lips against mine. And yet this time it’s different. I gasp against him as the bond comes alive, feeding back sensations and feelings that aren’t my own. I can feel his desire for me like a burning hot coal. Feeling the kiss from his perspective only doubles my want and my pleasure. It’s so wonderful that I pull him closer, needing to feel more—to drown in it.
But even greater than his passion is his love. It’s a deep, boundless thing that stretches out within him, so vast that it washes all doubt away.
Ruskin gently pulls back, his face telling me that he felt everything I did too.
“Ella,” he says. “The bond allows our magic to be shared, to merge and become one.” He licks his lips, and I’m surprised to note that he seems nervous. “Our magic views us as an extension of each other now. Inseparable. Which means…even if I’m bound to silence by a magical deal, that silence doesn’t include you.”
He looks at me, waiting for me to understand. My pulse quickens.
“Which means you can tell me about my mother,” I say.
My mouth has gone dry. This is it: the answer I’ve so desperately yearned for. Now that it’s in front of me, I’m afraid. What if I don’t like the truth? What if it’s something terrible? There was a time when I was certain it would reveal that Ruskin had done something truly unforgivable.
But that cannot be. I know this man, inside and out, even I don’t have the details of every part of his past. He would not be here, with me, if this was something that would definitely hurt me. I know—with absolute certainty—that he loves me too much for that.
Ruskin takes my hand, looking up at the stars again, and begins to speak.
“I did make a deal with Leah,” he says. “I didn’t know it at the time, but it was one of the most important deals of my life.”
Even with my confidence in him, I feel my stomach dance with apprehension.
“What did she want?” I ask.
“You, Ella,” he says, meeting my gaze. “She wanted a child so desperately that it was destroying her. She’d been trying for years, but it never came to be.”
I blink. Neither Mom nor Dad ever mentioned having troubles conceiving me.
“And you could help her?”
“Fertility magic is a common power in Faerie—it’s part of the reason for the Seelie Kingdom’s abundance. I could grant your mother’s wish and bless her with the ability to carry a child. But life is a complicated kind of magic, Ella. Everything has to be balanced out. It takes life to make a life.”
I bite my lip. “What do you mean?”
“I told Leah that she could have the child she wanted, but that magic would come at great cost. She’d need to sacrifice some of her life force—a significant portion of her intended years in this world. Then I could use that energy to grant her desire. I told her that she would have some time with her child, but how much, I couldn’t say for certain. There are many factors that affect the lifespan of a human, and I couldn’t predict exactly how much she’d be giving up to make this dream come true.”
He’s dropped his gaze, staring at the ground. His voice is filled with sorrow, matching the feeling in my chest.
So this was why my mom had been taken from me so young, why she suddenly started to sicken, with no known cause. Her life force had been running out, depleted by the spell which allowed me to be born.
“And she agreed to that?” I ask.
“She was so determined. I did my best to make it clear what she was giving up, but she didn’t care. She understood the price, and it was worth it to her. But I was sworn to secrecy as part of the deal.”
I close my eyes, and a tear escapes from under the lid, rolling down my cheek.
“I’m so sorry,” he says.
“Don’t be.” I sniff. “It’s almost a relief. All this time I didn’t understand what happened to her. It seemed so senseless. But now I know there was a reason she left us. That she made a choice. That makes it easier, somehow.”
And it’s also easier, knowing that Ruskin isn’t responsible for my mother’s death. That had been the worst of my fears. But I saw how determined she could be when she wanted something. This didn’t really have anything to do with him. He’d only supplied the thing she desired. The natural consequences of that could hardly be his fault, especially when she knew what she was getting into.
“And what about you, what did you ask for in return?”
“I was getting desperate myself. Cebba’s curse had started to show its spread by then, seeping into the kingdom. I knew my time was running out. When I heard your mother was a healer, it gave me an idea that perhaps she could help me. The deal was that she would try to find a cure for my curse. I gave her an alchemy kit, in the hope that might be useful, and she vowed to do all she could.”
So much now clicks into place. Of course Mom’s interest in metallurgy and alchemy wasn’t coincidence. She was looking for something, and all her notes and experiments were about trying to unlock a solution for a man I’d yet to meet.
“When I met you for the first time in that castle, I realized that your mother may indeed have given me the cure. She upheld her end of the bargain, just not in the way I’d expected. Magic often works that way. She helped me by giving me the one person who could cure the curse.”
Fated. That’s what the deal had made us—the girl who existed because of fae magic, and the prince who couldn’t survive without her love. But although the pieces had been lined up, we still had to make our choices. Mom’s, mine, Ruskin’s. All the power in the universe couldn’t force me to fall in love with Ruskin. He earned that all himself.
“Thank you,” I say, squeezing his hand tight, and I feel the weight of our secrets fading away, leaving only us, together, under an open, starry sky.
The sun shines down on us as we wake early. The Unseelie border is still half a day’s travel away and we must pass the familiar landmarks of Amethyn valley and Lake Irnua before climbing the mountain trail. Considering the circumstances under which we left last time, I’m nervous about returning to the Unseelie Court, but in a world turned upside down, I hold out hope for King Lisinder’s directness and love of honor. We may find an ally in him yet.
Lake Irnua comes into view up ahead, its dark waters glistening in the sunshine. A breeze picks up, running through the grass, and my horse shakes its head, throwing off some invisible fly. I hold more tightly on to the reins. I’m still nervous on these creatures. Then the animal emits a disturbed whinny and sets off running, bolting like something’s spooked it.
Air rushes past me, whipping my hair around my face as my horse canters up towards the lake side. Then, just as suddenly as it took off, it stops, throwing me forward out of the saddle.
I hit the ground hard enough to wind me, and the world blurs for a moment. The water of the lakeside shimmers, and in my confusion I seem to see figures standing in front of me, a small crowd of fae who appear to have stepped out of thin air. Evanthe stands at the front of them.
My head clears and I try to scrabble backwards, only to feel the point of some cold, sharp metal pressed against my neck.
“Ella!” Ruskin bellows. I can hear his horse cantering up behind us, though I can’t turn to look at him. The knife behind me keeps me staring ahead, at the woman at the front of the group.
I recognize faces in the crowd behind too. Hadeus—of course. Galaphina’s sister and her friend Vanis, too. Even the crimson-haired best friend of Cebba, Lady Rivera. Evanthe’s freed them all. They are positioned behind her on their horses, eyeing me hungrily.
“Keep your hands off her!” Ruskin snarls. My body aches from the fall, and I’m wondering where on earth these people came from, still trying to wrap my head around how quickly everything has gone so wrong.
They wanted to separate me from Ruskin and Destan. That’s the reason only my horse got spooked, because Evanthe needs me. And I easily fell into the trap. I think back to Cebba’s careful disguise as Fiona and wonder if hiding herself in an illusion—in her case, an illusion of invisibility—is a talent Evanthe has inherited from her daughter’s dark magic. Or maybe it’s something Cebba learned from her mother.
“It’s time to surrender,” Evanthe says. “You have denied my authority as queen, but you cannot escape the justice of this court.” She gestures to the crowd around her. Their weapons are drawn, and many have their palms outstretched, ready to conjure. We’re outnumbered, by a lot, and I get the feeling we’re seconds away from Evanthe’s followers testing out how much damage they can do to us.
I tentatively poke at the blade behind held behind me with my magic, wondering if the lackey holding it will notice.
“This is not your fight, Eleanor Thorn,” calls a voice, and I’m surprised to see it’s Hadeus speaking. “If you give the queen what she wants she may show you mercy, especially as I hear you’re needed in the human realm.”
My stomach flips.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, knowing he’s goading me, but unable to resist.
“I made a visit there recently. It seems your father has become an unhappy guest of your king. I’m sure you would regret never seeing him again.”
My heart sinks. I’d foolishly assumed Dad was safe, and knowing he’s with Albrecht makes me feel physically sick. Ruskin may have placed that spell to protect him from physical harm, but would it stop the king from capturing him? Holding him captive? Starving him?
Of course, I know these fae don’t give a damn about my father’s well-being. There’s not a chance in the world that they actually intend to let me go home. But if they wanted to distract and upset me, then they’ve definitely succeeded.
“Ignore them, Eleanor,” Ruskin says. “Your father will be okay.”
I don’t even know if we’ll be okay, but hearing his voice reminds me that at least I have more control over that. I can sense Ruskin and Destan some feet behind me, probably reluctant to do anything when I have a blade at my back, but I don’t have the same qualms.
I yank at the tip of that blade with my magic, dragging it away from me. There’s a surprised curse from the fae behind me.
“I told you to watch for her magic!” Evanthe shouts as several more fae level their weapons at me. Ruskin seizes the moment to throw a wide net of magic, roots erupting from the earth and snatching at the gathered fae. They shout and scatter, the Wild Hunt’s horses bucking with alarm.
Strong hands grab me, and I find Ruskin behind me, having abandoned his horse to reach me faster in the chaos.
“Listen,” Ruskin says, speaking rapidly. “You are the most important person to her. Without you, she can’t become High Queen. You need to run.”
“We need to run,” I correct him. “…Right?” Surely he knows that I’m not going anywhere without him.
A huge tree trunk suddenly rises up from the ground between us, sending Vanis, who’d been charging at us, flying.
“I need to stay and give you time to get away.”
“No.” I hate the idea of us separating—of him putting himself in the line of fire while I flee.
“Do it for the court, for Halima,” he says. “Continue with the original plan. Go to Lisinder with Destan and ask for help.”
I want to argue, but then I look around, really taking in the chaos around us. The Hunt and Evanthe’s other followers are already hacking away at Ruskin’s trees and branches, cutting them back and starting to surround us. I can’t immediately see Evanthe, but I know she’s here somewhere. We’re outnumbered, and I know I have to make a snap decision. If I wait too long, our chance to get away could disappear. And then Halima’s death would be for nothing.
I won’t let that happen.
With my heart in my throat, I nod to Ruskin, just as I also spot Evanthe approaching from over his shoulder, spinning a curse in her hands.
“Evanthe on your left,” I warn. “And I love you.”
“I love you too,” Ruskin replies, before spinning to face his mother. At the same time a wall of trees shoots up between us, hiding me from view, and I feel like he’s enclosed my heart in a dark forest of its own, separating me from the sun. I search around for Destan, only to see him still mounted, battling with Lady Rivera. She spins her blade around and swipes at the legs of his horse. The poor animal screams and falls, nearly crushing Destan as it rolls onto its side. Luckily, my friend is nimble, and he leaps free of the animal. In the meantime, I concentrate on Rivera’s blade, her amber eyes flashing with confusion as I yank it from her grasp and turn it on her so that it pierces her arm. She screams in pain, and I sprint towards Destan, helping him up from the ground.
“Run!”
While Rivera focuses on extracting the sword from her arm, we sprint for a copse of trees not far from the lakeside. We fling ourselves down among the cover of the leaves, scanning the road behind us. Evanthe’s followers are mostly scattered around the lakeside, Ruskin’s twisting roots still giving them trouble. I can see Lady Rivera is now looking for us, ignoring the gash streaming blood down her arm.
“We’ve got some cover here until that ridge,” I say, searching behind us, pointing to where the track starts to rise up, ascending towards the mountains.
“What about Ruskin?” Destan asks.
“He told us to go ahead. He’s gone after Evanthe.”
“Is he insane?” Destan asks. He looks nauseous.
“He’s doing it so we can get out. So we can reach the Unseelie Court,” I say. I wonder if I keep repeating Ruskin’s argument if I’ll start feeling better about leaving him.
We stay low, running through the sparse tree cover and up the slope. I can hear the sounds of magic fizzing and exploding behind me, and once we’re above the tree line, I can’t resist looking back.
Down below us, I can make out the two figures of Ruskin and Evanthe, exchanging magic in a storm of splinters and smoke. I wonder for a moment why Evanthe isn’t using her iron shoots, but then we’re so far from the Seelie Court, maybe she can’t reach them. Or maybe she’s not ready to let her followers know she’s behind the eruptions yet. At this moment they hang back as Ruskin and Evanthe fight by the lakeside, seeming unsure whether to intervene.
Being all the way out here means Ruskin has an advantage, his High King magic still strong on this ground. But my heart still rises up into my throat as I watch him wrap Evanthe in so many vines she struggles to get free. When they see that, several fae dart forward towards her to free her. Ruskin seems to realize he needs to keep Evanthe separate from her allies, because the vines start dragging her towards the lake. Ripples form on its surface, and I wonder what he’s planning.
Then something goes wrong. The vines around Evanthe explode in a cloud of black shadows, enveloping her and Ruskin. It billows across the lakeside, obscuring them and the edge of the water from our view. Only then does the sound of the explosion reach us, a rolling boom like thunder.
The fumes of the spell clear. Evanthe and Ruskin are gone.
“Ruskin,” I whisper, shock making my body go rigid.
I frantically search the lakeside, sure my eyes have just missed them. But there’s no sign of either one. It’s like they’ve been wiped from the face of the earth. I squint, seeing that there’s something odd about one section of the shore, but I can’t quite make out what.
“Eleanor,” Destan says, his voice strained. “Eleanor, we have to go.” He tugs on my arm, and it pulls me back to myself. I look down and see the figure of Rivera—easily identifiable with her red hair—pointing with her sword in our direction.
We’ve been spotted, and the Hunt start gathering their horses together, heading towards us.
I feel like I can’t breathe, like the air around me is too thick to take in, yet the memory of Ruskin’s voice rings clearly in my head. We need to get to the Unseelie Court. We need to run.
I turn and begin to sprint up the mountain path with Destan, the Hunt hot on our tail.