Chapter 19
“Unfathomed sin,” Hellveig seethed at Ser Elías. “I should have known, what with your history, you miscreant.”
“Miscreant? That’s fun,” he said. “And what have I done to deserve such decoration?”
She scoffed. “You’ve had your way with a number of women.”
“I haven’t,” he said.
“Don’t act as though it’s false! I’ve heard the rumors, Candy.”
He scoffed.
“Some Lord Commander you are. Some mentor. To think she looks up to you. If she only knew the truth.”
“Elías, I don’t understand,” I said.
He nodded. “She’s degrading my honor. They’re just words, Princess. They can’t hurt me the way she wants.”
“If His Majesty does not see to your immediate removal from his daughter’s influence, I will scream of your encouragement for her ruin, and I will scream of his brat’s indecency. I will see to it that everyone hears of her letters. Do not tempt me, Ser! I must do what I feel is right.”
“You can say whatever it is you want to say,” he explained.
“Do whatever you want to do. But will anyone believe an old, hateful woman? Probably not. You’re not exactly well-liked in these parts.
You’re tolerated upon the King’s invitation and his invitation alone, but go ahead and speak to him.
Tell him everything it is you think is true.
I’m sure I’ll enjoy how very disappointing it will be for you to find that he won’t ever release me though.
Not even if I were as awful as you have decided.
No, I’m here forever, Miss Hellveig. Are you? ”
She frowned. “Likability is nothing when it comes to a lady. You don’t understand this, as you are privileged to be a man, but she does.
She understands because I have told her, and because I won’t ever lie to her or coddle her mistakes.
She understands that I am not so successful a woman by allowing myself to be pushed around by men who think they have such power.
I am her only real support in this world, and I am the only one who wins this game for her, Lord Commander.
She knows that if I tell anyone, anyone at all about what she’s done, it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not.
They will listen. They want to listen; they want to see her trip and fall, and they want whatever words I say to be true. That’s why people gossip.”
“She doesn’t believe you,” he said.
“Elías,” I breathed in. “Please. You’re making it worse.”
“Go to your room,” he said.
“Yes. Go on, Your Highness,” she agreed. “Listen to the man. Do as you’re told.”
“Just apologize to her, Ser,” I begged.
“No,” he said. “And you–”
“Please,” I said. I met her eyes and stepped closer. “Miss Hellveig. Please. He’s sorry. I’m sorry. Just leave him alone. He isn’t bad. Not like me.”
She shook her head.
“He’s not! He’s not bad,” I said. “And he doesn’t make me bad! I’m bad all on my own!”
“Svana,” Elías said, he angled in my direction, reaching for my arm.
I pulled away. “Ser, please!” I told him. “We can’t win.”
“Good girl,” Hellveig said.
“I’ll do whatever you ask,” I promised her. “Just leave him alone. Please. He’s important to me.”
Her face softened, then it wound into an evil shape and she tsked. “Your Highness, he’s poisoned your mind against what’s right. Don’t you see?”
“That isn’t true,” Elías said.
“It is though,” she went on. “And do you think he would stay? If everyone knew who you really were? Would your knight stay beside you?”
“I… I think so, yes,” I said.
She shook her head. “I don’t.”
Eli stepped between us; his glove forced itself into the folds of my dress and pulled me by it, back toward the hall. I halted, shocked.
“Svana,” he said sternly. “Leave. Now.”
“N-No,” I said.
“Even the Princess sees you’re in the wrong,” Hellveig replied. “Don’t you think it’s time you come to terms with it?”
He approached her; she stepped back.
“You’ve no right to touch her the way you have,” Elías said. “You’ve no right to lie to her, to convince her that she is so alone.”
“And you’ve the right to convince her she isn’t?” she asked. “Do you have to marry a man for peace? Or are you quite comfortable in your lifestyle as it is, Ser? Do you not remain here once she is gone?”
“I should hurt you the way you’ve hurt her,” he muttered.
“Go ahead,” she dared him. They still moved. “I want you to! I want you to guarantee me your dismissal. Do it! Do it so that I may rescue her from your–”
Hellveig stopped abruptly and realized where she was, just as I noticed the staircase, too.
“I’ll never write him again!” I called. “Please!” I said.
Elías seethed. “I am morally obligated to inform you that you are treading on such thin ice with me, Miss Hellveig.”
She used her cane to brace her position at the top. “What are you going to do, push me?” she asked.
“I have half a mind to, yes,” he said.
“W-What an example to set,” she added, nodding to me. “And how will you explain the murdering of an innocent woman to the Princess?”
“You’re hardly innocent,” he said. “Or did she just fall again? Did she shut her hands in another drawer? I can’t remember the last excuse, just that it was pathetic.”
“I’ve tried to help her,” she said. “She is ungrateful; uneducable, un-!”
“Unaware of how poorly she trudges on?” Elías finished. “Sounds familiar.” He took another clunky step her way, and she took one back, down another step.
“Elías,” I said. “No, no one will believe her.”
“Yes they will,” Hellveig said.
But Elías was not afraid. Not like I was. He was stoic, brave, and unimpressed. Leaning his head one way, then the other, as if the motion somehow enhanced how he heard the governess. She began to rant about propriety.
“Your room, Princess,” he reminded me.
“N-Not without you,” I whispered.
“Now.” It was not an option.
Hellveig furrowed her brow, gripping the head of her cane and used it to point at me. “Is this how she will see her Knight forever?” she asked. “Wielding fear as his weapon?”
“You’ve mistaken me for yourself. I wield my weapon as my weapon,” he said.
She glanced at it.
“You will not touch her,” Elías began. “You will not yell at her. You will not try to isolate or control her, ever again.”
“You cannot hurt her,” I pleaded. “Please, Ser. They’ll take you away from me.”
She nodded. “Listen to the girl, Blade.”
“Stop it, please,” I whined, clinging to his armor. It was hard to hold.
“This is unacceptable!” Hellveig laughed.
“You think that I can be so easily threatened by a suit of armor? That I will stop disciplining the Princess because her knight asked me to? This is exactly what’s wrong with her!
If there is no consequence for her disobedience; how can she run an empire?
What if His Majesty dies tomorrow? Then what?
Who must we entrust with Oreia’s future?
The whore who can’t commit to her husband? ”
“She’s fourteen,” Elías said.
She shook her head. “I’m all the reason she has. Without me, Svana will hang herself like her mother, and not before too long!”
“That’s not how I’ll do it!” I cried.
They looked at me.
“See?” Hellveig said. “Her days are numbered, just like Eliza’s.”
Elías stilled. He said, “Tell your tongue to forget that name or I will cut it out.”
She scowled, looking behind her. She moved her cane to the next step.
“Eliza,” she said, grinning.
No one moved. The hall was silent, eerily so, and though I could feel Elías’ mood as it altered, he did nothing to reveal it to her. Then he let go of his pommel, and he moved away, as far as turning his back to his enemy.
“Coward,” Hellveig cracked. “You should’ve pushed me. His Majesty will hear of this.”
“Do what pleases you,” he told her. “I care not for the tribulations of the Devil’s wench.”
She placed her hand over her chest and then declared loudly, “Some brave rook you are! Not even the guts to follow through! You will be stripped of your title, Lord Commander! You will be removed from this castle, from the King’s Guard!
And so help me God, if it is the last thing I do, I will keep the Princess as far away from you as I can!
Even if I must lock her away in the tower! You will never see her again! Never!”
Elías exhaled as he made it to even footing, but she was angry.
She raised her cane into the air–this time, not for me.
Hellveig swung it hard, and intentionally at the back of Ser Elías’ head, even though he retreated from her, and even though he did nothing to threaten her again, and everything–everything wrong and awful and ugly about my life flashed before my eyes and I couldn’t bear it. I wouldn’t.
I screamed, “No!” but it wasn’t until I heard his brutally sharp inhale and I felt his panicked hands arrive at my shoulders, that I became aware of what I’d done.
Fifty feet below us, bent below the winding stairs, laid flat out on the marble entry floor, Hellveig contorted in a way that she never looked more like herself.
She was dead and mangled, and all alone. Where she belonged.
“S-Svana,” Elías breathed.
I paused, horrified. Eli drew me to his chest.
“What have you done?” he asked. “God, what have you done?”
“She tried to kill you,” I whined. My chest tightened fiercely.
“She tried to–She tried to take you away! I can’t, I cannot lose you!
I refuse!” I said, terrified, shoving myself free of his arms to see his face.
“You cannot leave me. I will not survive! I will! I will kill myself, Elías. I swear it! I swear to God! I swear it to the empire! I will not last the week! I will throw myself from the tower window! I will ride off the mountain! I will! I think about it everyday. Please! I cannot be left alone! Please, don’t leave me! I’m so scared to die.”
He took a knee and shielded me in a stronger hold. “No,” he said. “Never. I will never, never leave you, Your Highness. You are not alone. You, you will not die. Not while I draw breath. Everything is alright.”
“I cannot live without you. I won’t. I will not. You’re my only hope. The only one who cares. But I’ll do it. She’s right. She’s right. She’s always right. I think about it all the time. I don’t want to live, I just can’t bring myself to let Father find another body!”
“E-Everything is alright,” he said again. “I’m not hurt, Svana. You’re not hurt. It’s alright.”
“I can’t even remember his face. All this pain, all of his? They branded him, Elías… For what? She’s right. She’s right. I’m such a rotten thing.”
“Svana, no,” he said. He retrieved a green fabric from his armor and offered it to me. “Dry your eyes. Go. Hurry. Get to your room. I’ll take care of this. Of her.”
“Of her?” I asked. “She’s dead?”
“Yes,” he said. “Now go. Don’t let anyone see you cry. Don’t speak to anyone. Don’t tell them what happened. You were not here. Hellveig fell.”
“I pushed her,” I said.
“She fell,” he repeated. “She fell and you were in your quarters. Only I was here. Only I saw it. Go.”
“P-Promise me,” I said, fighting his insistence. “Promise me you won’t leave me all alone!”
“I won’t leave you, Svana. Not ever, alright?”
“She said you would,” I added.
“Hellveig said a lot of things that were never true,” he said. “My Fealty is yours.”
“Do you promise?” I asked.
“Yes, Princess. I promise,” he said. “But you have to go now. You have to trust me. Never speak of this again.”