Chapter 26 #2
“We hardly saw each other as children either,” I said.
“Fine. Well, since we’re sharing absurdities, I didn’t care that he said that to me,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “Sure you didn’t.”
“I didn’t!” he said. “I came for a different reason.”
“Oh, you did?” I asked. “And what reason was that? The fine weather?”
He shrugged, then he grinned cheekily. “I think you mean who.”
It took a moment. I spun on my heel and slacked my jaw. “J-Jocelyn?”
Willoughby neither confirmed nor denied the accusation. He turned away and we began walking back into the Palace.
“Are you in love with her?” I asked, hurrying to catch up.
“Yes,” he said.
I gasped. “Have you been in love with her always?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I–” I laughed. “I can’t believe it.”
“You don’t think your cousin is capable of love?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No.” I caught it, shaking more furiously. “No, I mean, I… I think you should tell her.”
“To what end?” he asked.
“To… To marriage?” I said. “I’m certain she would agree to it, if you declared yourself!”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. “I can’t offer her marriage.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Of course you can.”
“I’m nobility. She’s not.”
“Nobility. Fine. But you’re also a distant relative of my mother. I’m certain my father would–”
“Svana.” We stopped again and he touched my arm. “Yes, likely. Your father might consider it. It’s not your father I’m concerned about.”
“Hers?” I asked.
He checked around us. “Mine.”
“Your father?” I asked.
Willoughby nodded. “There’s a reason I’m a knight, Your Highness.”
“What? What reason?”
He picked up his pace.
“Cousin, I’ve never seen you so bothered. What is it?” I asked.
Then he sighed. “I… I took the vow to avoid the wife my father chose for me,” he said.
“You were engaged?” I asked.
“Not by choice,” he told me. “And not really. I never declared myself to her. She was a title chaser.”
“But you weren’t the Viscount?” I said. “And you wouldn’t be? She should have wanted a brother.”
“Yes, but they were already spoken for and despite my birth order, I was still Lord Willoughby,” he said. “And, let’s not forget that my father was your mother’s cousin. There is appeal there in that.”
“I’m confused,” I said. “You don’t take a vow of celibacy when you are knighted. Knights marry all the time.”
“No,” he agreed. “But you do accept a total life in war, which is a particularly nasty thing, and something the lady did not much care for. She was socialite; she wanted to show me off at parties to her socialite friends, which, with my service, was not something I could provide for her.”
“Oh...Oh! That’s…actually quite genius.”
“I was seventeen,” he said. “I enlisted right before my eighteenth birthday to avoid an announcement.”
“Your father would’ve announced it?” I asked. “Without your permission?”
“Yes.” He met my eyes. “My fear now is that he will catch wind of my intentions for Miss Jocelyn, and…”
“And what? And hurt her?” I asked.
“No. He's a different kind of monster. He’ll pay her off,” he said. “My father’s a man of coin.”
“Pay her off? Josie?” I asked. “No. No, she would not accept money in exchange for hurting you.”
“Gold and copper convince plenty of people to do plenty of things,” he said. “I've seen it and I know my father. I know the effect that money has on him. On others. Besides, she owes me nothing. Why shouldn’t she accept his offer? He would see to it that she would be very well settled.”
“I… I can’t agree with that, I’m sorry,” I said.
He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“It’s…It’s not my place to tell you why, but I do think you should talk to her,” I said. “She wouldn’t accept copper in exchange for… for whatever it is you think she would accept it for.”
“Maybe,” he told me. “And maybe I’ll talk to her one day. But not today. Let’s go see your ostler instead.”
“Not ostler. Mr. Evergreen,” I said, correcting him. “We should call him Mr. Evergreen.”
He cocked his head but then agreed. “Alright. Mr. Evergreen,” he said. “You aim to put distance between each other? Or protect him?”
“Protect him, of course,” I said. “...And myself. From a distance.”
“Distance,” he said. It wasn’t a question.
“Like you, I have my reasons,” I explained.
“Uh-huh. And pray, what are those?”
“Well. Number one, he’s a liar,” I said.
“Of course he is, he’s a man,” Willoughby said.
“What? No. I meant…” I grumbled slightly.
“I meant, he’s been lying to me since I arrived here in Chalke and that’s concerning.
Not only has he lied to everyone else here with his false name, but he did not tell me right away and, and that…
That is concerning. As I said. If wanting to avoid such negativity encourages distance, so be it. ”
“Last night the man was your soulmate,” Willoughby said. “You cried.”
“He is my soulmate," I said.
“You said they branded him. For you.”
“Yes. They did.” I averted my gaze. “And?”
“And you don’t think that could be a reason he did not tell you who he was?” he asked.
“I–” I frowned. “What? What do you mean? If anything, that is the reason why he should tell me.”
“Right. Sure, cousin. I think that if anyone needs to have a conversation, it’s you and him. Not me and Jocelyn,” he said.
“Are you his knight or mine?” I asked.
“Yours.”
“Are you very sure?”
He smirked. “Yes. And it’s because I am your knight, that I am obligated to protect you,” he stated.
“Exactly!”
“Even from yourself,” he added.
My expression cooled. I groaned and twirled my hand to make him go on with his explanation.
He nodded, understanding. “Svana, when you were a child, and you would lie in your bed at night, what did you dream of? Crowns and castles?” he asked.
“No. What?”
“‘No.’” He nodded. “No. Not you. Then what did you dream of, then?”
“Of Swords and Horses,” I said.
He narrowed his eyes.
“I…It’s a game. We used to play it together. When we were kids. When he was Willem.”
His face softened.
“Stop it. Don’t look at me like that,” I said.
“Love keeps no record of wrongs,” he started.
I shook my head. “Absolutely not.”
“Love keeps no record of wrongs,” he said again.
“You know, for a knight that literally just confessed that he enlisted in his duty to avoid a woman, you’re awful bold to quote Corinthians to me.
” I rolled my eyes, stepping into the foyer and leading him down the hall.
“I don’t need to be educated on the word of God, Ser Willoughby.
I’ve had it beaten into me my whole life. ”
He shifted into a whisper. “Then what about the lore for your braid?” he asked.
I scoffed. “God, Chastity, and Bearer–a holy weave; a gift for the husband. That’s the sum of it, yes? What does that have to do with me and Mr. Evergreen? He’s not my husband. He won’t ever be.”
“In Chalke, the strands are God, Woman, and Man,” he said. “Virtue is not a gift for the man; the man is part of the gift. The gift is the union–to be woven together. It’s unbreakable.”
I muttered. “That… slightly more coherent than our philosophy…But again, I am lost on the relevance, Daniel. I am not marrying Mr. Evergreen.”
We stopped outside the chamber.
“There’s no mention of marriage at all in Chalke. Well. Not exactly. The braid, whichever empire it’s displayed in, represents the same thing, yes, but differently.”
“And what’s that?” I asked.
“A promise,” he said. “A promise of commitment. Yes. You are here to marry another man. Your marriage is important but there is no love in it. You know that. His Highness knows that–he loves another woman. Yet, the union will bridge feuding nations; it will bring people together, and your worlds will merge for better or for worse. You won’t remain Svana Eisson of Oreia.
You’ll become Svana Asarii, of both empires, just like your Mr. Evergreen is of both empires.
He is both Cyrus Evergreen and Willem, your ostler’s boy. ”
I rolled my eyes.
“Look. If he’s your soulmate, if he completes you, if he is your missing half, then your love already exists outside of the martial constructs of mankind, and, as Corinthians explains, it cannot be conditional. It must be rooted in God and God defines love in Corinthians.”
“Corinthians also warns against sexual immorality, Ser Willoughby,” I said. “It suggests that marriage is forever and that women should submit themselves to their husbands, and never lay with another man until he is dead.”
“Well.”
“Thessalonians says that believing a liar can cost someone their soul,” I told him.
“I feel like you’re knit picking.”
“I’m not knit picking. I’m simply demonstrating that I know the word and better than you, Ser Willoughby. Don’t try to use weapons you’re not trained in.”
“Fine. But Evergeen lied about his name, not his feelings. You act as though he’s caused irreparable damage to your future, but in the same breath, you expected him to have wanted you this whole time in spite of the fact that you will be married to the Prince–his very best friend–in mere weeks. Which is the greater crime? Honestly.”
“I don’t have a choice on if I marry the Prince or not,” I told him, angry. “Evergreen had a choice. He chose to lie to me!”
“Do you know that?” he asked. “You haven’t given him a chance to explain himself.”
“He’s been unconscious!” I cried, my hands flying outright. “And it’s not just him I’m angry with!” I heaved frustratedly. “I…I’m not just mad at Evergreen.”
Willoughby nodded. “Is it me?” he asked. “You’re mad at me?”
“No, I…” I sighed, defeated. “It’s… It’s Elías. I’m angry with Ser Elías.”
He watched me.
I shrugged. “I’m not just preserving myself from Mr. Evergreen, Ser Willoughby. There are many unanswered questions with this whole thing, and I am trying to find my bearings before I act poorly upon my feelings. Before I damn my closest friend.”
“I’ve overstepped. I apologize.”
“I hate you,” I said. “You know that right? I hate you.”