Chapter 10
Rylee
Fucking Baydel. Such a prick.
Our mothers’ terms, I understood. The kings’? It doesn’t make sense.
I hate them.
Darling, breathe for me.
Pierce’s voice cuts through all the others swarming my mind, as they have been since we left the palace, retreating to the safety of Kal’s home in the Ruby Aire.
Axl and Kal stand in the corner of Kal’s study, talking in hushed tones.
Ivy and Layce watch me with worried eyes from where they sit on one of the few couches while Mirren stands behind them, arms folded over her chest, eyes narrowed as she silently waits for me to explain why I dragged them all here in a hurry.
From where I sit on the opposite sofa between Pierce and Jax, I do as Pierce silently commanded.
I breathe.
In for four, holding it for just as long before releasing it.
I do my best to shut those mental doors on the powers rippling inside me—the ones connected to the gilded mating bonds.
A Kings’ List.
I barely survived the stipulations of the Choosing. How will I fare against anything Baydel and the other kings devised?
I allow myself a moment to wallow. A moment to mourn what I thought would be a centrally focused future—find the Faders, stop them, figure out what my sister is doing with them, and learn how to give my mates their power back.
Now . . .
Who knows what we’ll have to endure?
Another breath.
I’m not the same girl who snuck into the Choosing event. Being with the Legends has made me stronger than even the powers roiling in my blood right now. They make me feel complete in a way I never knew possible.
As long as we’re together, there’s nothing we can’t handle.
I cling to this notion as I do my best to solidify those doors inside my mind, pushing the powers behind the wood crafted specifically for each one.
Kal’s door has the sun carved into it, Axl’s an ocean wave.
Pierce’s has a spiderweb, as intricate and vast as his power.
Jax’s has his mark, a full moon with five stars around it.
The carvings help me find the doors easier, drawing them up faster than I did yesterday.
I shut them, and it takes an effort to shove all that power behind them, but I manage.
Once Jax’s door is closed, the weight of worry, panic, anger . . . all my mates’ and friends’ emotions, lift from my chest.
The voices in my head fall quiet as Pierce’s door closes.
And I can no longer feel the draw of the sky or the rush of water in my blood as I shut the other two.
I breathe again.
“Sorry,” I finally say. “Are we sure it’s safe to talk here?” I’m not naive enough to think nothing changed since I was unconscious.
“Yes,” Kal answers.
Jax shifts next to me, fiddling with one of his blades. His indigo eyes are searing, and I don’t need his power to feel the emotions rippling off him.
Maybe I should’ve kept his door open a little longer, siphoned some of his anger. But doing that might be a violation of his trust. None of us have had that conversation . . . what is and isn’t allowed when it comes to me controlling their powers.
Shit. There’s so much to learn.
And I don’t have enough time to figure it all out before the first of the Kings’ List tasks, the one Baydel told us about before we left the palace.
“Good,” I say, nodding. “Again, sorry about earlier. It takes me a while to come back to myself when all your powers wake up and demand attention.”
Ivy sits up a bit straighter. Layce gasps.
“The Legends’ powers?” Mirren says, gripping the back of the sofa tighter.
I give another nod. “I don’t want to keep secrets from any of you. You are my family.”
A ghost of Erin flashes in my mind, but I shove it away.
“I’m done with that,” I emphasize, eyeing each of them. “You’re on this journey with me now, whether I like it or not.”
“Offended,” Ivy says, but she’s grinning.
I shrug. “If I could’ve kept you out of this new life until I knew it was safe, I would’ve.”
“But it’ll never be safe,” Layce says, and her eyes flare when all focus snaps to her. “What?” she asks. “You’re going to be queen of Lumathyst. Even now, you’re considered a princess, right? And a Legend. Those titles hold weight. Stakes. Risks. Not just power.”
“Right,” I say.
“So you wouldn’t be able to keep us safe from those risks regardless,” Ivy adds.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you,” I say, swallowing hard. “Any of you.”
“We’re with you,” Layce says.
“No matter what,” Ivy agrees.
My heart expands in my chest so much it’s hard to breathe around.
“I’m with you as long as you don’t do anything stupid,” Mirren says. “Like getting yourself killed or one of the princes hurt.”
A soft laugh leaves my lips. “I’ll do my best.”
“Do better than your best,” Mirren counters, but there is love in her eyes, hard-earned and hard-fought.
“Okay,” I say, taking another breath. “I need to fill you all in.” I glance to Jax, then Pierce, then Axl, then Kal.
“I’m sure you’ve all suspected, given my actions the last moments of the Athanry,” I start, the memory slicing through me so hard it hurts.
It’s hard to speak this truth. I close my eyes. “But I found Erin.”
“What?” Ivy.
“Where?” Layce.
“Called it.” Axl.
I open my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. “You know the Athanry was attacked by Faders. I saw several of them refer to one Fader in particular as their leader. I chased after them.”
Layce’s hand shoots to her mouth.
“No fucking way,” Ivy snaps.
I nod, my heart clenching at the admission.
“I didn’t recognize her at first. You know those uniforms they wear cover everything.
” I tilt my head, remembering the bloodred emblem on the left cheek of every Fader mask—a circle with a dagger speared through it.
I clear my throat. “It was her defensive moves that gave her away. But then, when they came after us . . .” I flash my mates an apologetic look.
“When Jax’s blades were aimed for her throat, I stepped in front of her. ”
“Oh, Rylee,” Layce says empathetically.
“And I took the knives meant for her,” I continue, reaching down to graze my hand over Jax’s.
“Erin caught me. Stopped me from cracking my skull wide open on Evaluna’s marble stairs.
” I shiver at the mere thought of the never-ending stairs from my dreams. “And then she showed me her face. Asked me to forgive her and ran.”
Ivy’s mouth is parted, but no words come out.
Layce immediately gets up to hug me.
I hug her back, choking out a small sob at the gesture.
Ivy crosses the space, and the three of us fall into a little pile on the rug between the couches, taking a moment to silently grieve.
“Erin is the leader of the Faders,” Ivy says as we wipe our cheeks and sit back down.
Pierce immediately takes my hand in his.
Jax smooths his up and down my spine.
“They called her boss,” I say.
“But . . . why?” Ivy shakes her head. “It doesn’t make any sense.”
“We all have our breaking points. If she met someone with connections at last year’s Choosing event? Someone who offered her a chance at change?” I eye my friends. “What would any one of us have done?”
Layce’s brow furrows. “No,” she says adamantly. “I don’t buy it.”
“I didn’t hallucinate her being there—”
“I’m not saying you didn’t see her,” Layce amends. “I just . . . It doesn’t make sense.”
“All of us have wanted change for a while,” Ivy continues. “But the Faders aren’t making moves for change. They’re creating chaos. Hurting people.”
“That doesn’t sound like Erin,” Layce says.
“I know,” I say on a released breath, thankful for their council. “It doesn’t.” I glance to where Kal now sits in the armchair next to my couch. Axl leans against it. “Nothing makes sense. The Faders, their motivations, the substance they possess.”
“Thank you for telling us,” Kal says. “I know that wasn’t easy.”
I breathe in his gratitude. “It is, though,” I counter.
“It hurts, for sure. But telling you? Being honest with each of you? It’s not hard.
Not anymore.” I shake my head. “Erin is my sister. I love her. I will always love her. But if she’s truly fueling such hate and destruction, she’s lost her way.
I’m not saying I don’t want to help her find it again, but . . .” I can’t choose her over my mates.
I won’t.
“Tell us about the powers,” Ivy says, likely noting my rising panic.
“Right,” I say, then launch into everything that happened. Dying. Coming back. My mates’ sacrifice.
“Shit,” Layce says when I’m finished.
“Are you reading our minds right now?” Ivy asks, curious.
“No,” I reply, but even her mentioning that power has it slamming against Pierce’s door, begging to come out and play.
“It’s difficult to contain them,” I continue.
“But I’m trying. I’ve only had two days to come to terms with this.
I made . . . doors.” It sounds as pathetic outside as inside.
“It helps a little, but they don’t hold forever. ”
“Especially if you’re worked up,” Jax says, and my eyes find his, heat flooding my cheeks.
Our conversation last night plays in my mind. The way he held me beneath the moonlight. The moment all five of us shared before that. It felt like coming home.
“And what did the kings want with you?” Mirren asks. “Baydel came to collect you himself.”
Axl growls, shifting off Kal’s armchair. “The kings have their own requirements for ascension,” he says.
Mirren’s eyes go wide, then narrow.
Jax’s fist clenches harder on his knee, and I reach over to smooth my free hand across it.
Kal rises from his chair, heads to his desk, and digs in a drawer. He pulls a Choosing invitation out and hands it to Mirren, back side up. She studies it, and her mouth draws into a thin line.
“Magically imbued to only show up if our Chosen completed the Athanry,” Kal says, pointing to the script on the back of the invitation. “The Kings’ List.”
“Another damned list?” Ivy snaps as Mirren passes her the invitation. “Aren’t there enough of those?”