Chapter Twenty-Five
QUINN
A n hour later, I sat on the chaise wrapped in a fluffy robe with Landon’s arms around me.
Nestled between his legs, I stared out at the lake and tried to keep my eyes open. I didn’t want to fall asleep—not yet.
After lunging at Landon, he wrestled me onto my back and finished what he’d started before he walked out. I came on his tongue twice before he hauled me up from the floor and carried me back to his room. Orgasm three hit me under the hot spray of the shower with my hands pinned to the wall.
After spreading me from behind, he feasted until my knees buckled.
Once my legs gave out, he sat me on the built-in seat and washed my hair and body. The scent of his mint and lavender body wash filled my nose as he drained all the tension from my limbs. Drying me off with a towel, he wrapped me in the robe before getting dressed himself.
When I tried to reach for him to return the favor, he tossed me over his shoulder and threw me on the bed, diving back in for orgasm number four. Only in rare moments like that first morning, when I took him by surprise or woke up in the middle of the night, did Landon let me please him.
The rest of the time, he seemed content to push my limits and my body to the point of madness.
Or, at least, almost there.
All morning, I wanted to go further, but Landon never pushed for more. If he had, I would’ve said yes. But even though he probably needed some kind of sign from me, I couldn’t bring myself to ask for it.
I tried to work up the courage, but I feared the rejection I faced the first night in the Round Tableau. That night, it hadn’t stung because I didn’t know him from Adam or a hole in the ground. But now, I had to up my courage in case his feelings on my virgin status hadn’t changed.
Maybe I would’ve worked up the nerve, but by the time he came up for air, my body had gone limp from all the orgasms.
It was a terrible problem to have, really.
We had time. Over a week left to get there before the forum and the next challenge. I told myself it would happen naturally and forced my body to relax. I was seconds away from falling asleep when he spoke.
“I wasn’t like this when I was a little boy.”
My ears perked, but I didn’t move or say a word.
“Before I turned eleven, Kingston says I was wild. Always playing. Always climbing…Laughing.” His thumb traced circles over the back of my hand. “I don’t know. You’d have to ask him about the newspapers, but from what he tells me, the boy I used to be wouldn’t fit the image you have in your mind.”
“You don’t remember?”
He shook his head.
“I don’t remember anything before my—before my birthday that year.”
I didn’t want this to be a connection between us—terrible things happening on the day we were born. But I couldn’t stop myself from asking, anyway. “What happened?”
“I—” He cleared his throat, staring out the window at the lake. “I don’t remember. At least, not completely. And every time I try to think about it…”
The crease between his eyebrows deepened, his mouth twisting into a frown as he tried to find the words.
But he didn’t need to explain it.
I already knew.
“Every time you try to think about it, it hurts. It’s like it’s happening all over again because…” I slipped my hand inside his robe, resting it over his heart. “Your mind doesn’t remember, but this does.”
He nodded, the muscle in his jaw working as he released a heavy sigh and finally looked at me. “Is that what it’s like for you? With your parents?”
My hand came up to my hair reflexively, and my body tightened like a bow string—ready to loose an arrow in self-defense. I hadn’t expected him to ask me about my parents.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
I scoffed a laugh. “Mr. Tell Me is saying I don’t have to talk about something?” I swiped at my face with my sleeve, trying to deflect. “I find that hard to believe.”
“I told you, Quinn.” He tipped my chin up, his eyes anchoring to mine as the memories threatened to drown me. “I know when to push and when to pull back.”
Like it seemed to do every time, his touch soothed me, offering a calm within the storm brewing inside me. I sniffled and nodded, but he didn’t let me go. His thumb brushed my bottom lip, and he stared at my parted mouth like it held the answers to life itself.
I searched his face for a sign that maybe—just maybe—he planned to break the rules and press his lips to mine.
But he didn’t bridge the gap.
“I wish I didn’t remember it. But it’s as vivid in my mind as it is in my heart.”
“You loved him.” He cleared his throat. “Your dad? He was…He was a good dad?”
“He was the best dad.”
Wrapping my arms around myself, tears welled in my eyes. Landon didn’t say anything else or press me for more information. He just sat with me, rubbing circles over my skin while I pushed away memories I didn’t want to face. Memories that crashed against the barriers I’d erected in my mind, trying to force their way out.
I got up from his lap and went into the bathroom, grabbing my bag on my way in and using my inhaler as I stared at myself in the mirror.
When the blurred edges of my vision cleared, I splashed cold water on my face. I went back out to the bedroom and climbed back into Landon’s lap. And we stared out the window for a long time, looking out at the lake and each getting lost in our own thoughts.
Until, eventually, the world grew dark, and Landon suggested getting in bed.
“You sleep. I think I want to read for a little bit.”
As he climbed out from behind me and got ready for bed, I pulled out my dad’s copy of The Princess Bride and ran my hands over the cover and spine. I flipped it open to my bookmark and started reading, my eyes blurring as I stared at the notes written in the margin on nearly every page. Little details my dad had left to guide me through the story when I was younger. I read them now like they were the secret notes he’d left for me around the house.
Hidden reminders of how much he loved me—of how proud he was of me.
Even though I didn’t deserve them anymore.
The next day, Landon and I walked around the lake all morning, talking about school and our plans for the future. He told me about his family’s expectations after graduation, something else that made me feel sad, and he asked me about dance. I refused to dance when he requested it.
“That’s alright. We’ll put a pin in that.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” I snorted, twirling on the ball of my foot.
He grabbed my hips before I could get away. And that was the end of our walking and talking time for the morning. Throwing me over his shoulder, he raced back to the room with my laughter trailing behind us down the halls.
Later, as I collapsed on the bed and unlocked my thighs from around his head, I found myself completely sated and yet still wanting more again.
But like every other time we had gotten close to moving forward and crossing that final barrier, he pulled back.
He wiped the remnants of my last orgasm off his face before sucking his fingers clean, completely unashamed. When he lifted his head to find me staring at him from between my legs, he looked like he’d just been caught with his hand in a cookie jar.
“What’d I do? Was it the butt thing? I know we haven’t really talked about that limit, but I didn’t want to make a mess and I thought you enjoyed it?”
I did.
But that wasn’t the point.
So, instead of responding to his question, I redirected. “Can I ask you something?”
He had the good sense to eye me warily, but still nodded at me to go ahead.
“I don’t want you to think I’m…” I searched for the right words. “Not grateful for all the orgasms, of course. They’re top notch. Never should’ve doubted you.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “But?”
“I think I’m ready for more.”
He froze. Maybe even stopped breathing.
And I grew nervous as I waited for his response. Considering what had happened the last time the word virginity left my mouth, my unease made sense.
But I’d needed to ask—whatever the fallout.
Not knowing how he felt about it now was eating me up almost as voraciously as he was.
“Landon?”
“That wasn’t a question.”
I blinked a few times, processing his response. “Okay…Do you want to take things further?”
He pushed himself up and climbed off the bed. “Quinn, we don’t have to do that just because you’re my Maiden. I can train you without?—”
“But what if I want to?”
His body tensed, eyes darting to the space he’d just left on the bed. He scrubbed a hand over his face and averted his gaze to the window.
“I just…I don’t think it’s a good idea. All of this—I’m sure it feels like something you want right now, but when it’s over, you might?—”
“Don’t do that.”
His eyes snapped back to me. “Don’t do what?”
“Tell me what or how I’m going to feel.”
We stared off for a minute, me standing my ground and him trying to get a read on me. He finally gave in and shook his head, expelling a heavy breath.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just…” He came back to the bed, sitting down beside me. “When the twenty-one days are over, we go to Pendragon Estate, Quinn.”
My brow furrowed. “I know that.”
His eyebrows rose, prompting me to connect dots I failed to see. “Are you worried I’ll sleep with you and sleep with someone else right after? Because I already told you, it’s not going to happen. I’m getting through the challenge.”
“No, it’s not that. I know you’ll get through it.”
I ignored how that made me all warm and sparkly on the inside. “I don’t understand, then. What are you trying to say, Landon?” I tapped my chest twice in a come at me, bro gesture. “Just spit it out. I can take it.”
He fought a laugh and rolled his eyes at my antics, but his expression sobered quickly.
When he dropped his eyes to the bed, I got a little nervous.
“You’re not the only one with a challenge in front of them at Pendragon, Quinn.”
“Oh. You mean, you?—”
“Yes.” He averted his eyes. “I have to do whatever is necessary to get the Maiden assigned to me to ask for more. I will do that.”
Something ugly unfurled in my chest at the thought—something I refused to name or fully acknowledge. It hadn’t been there when he first told me about the next challenge, but it was there now.
I knew it.
And so did he.
“It’s one less player on the board, Quinn. If you keep going past the first thirty days, the less you’re up against, the better. But it means I have a job to do, too. Can you really say it wouldn’t bother you, knowing I was seducing someone else after taking—? Can you see how that might bring in feelings that could get in your way?”
“I’m not going to let anything get in my way, Landon.” Not a King, not a cocky bastard—not even the thought of my Knight and what he’d have to do in less than two weeks.
I didn’t like it, but it wasn’t going to stop me.
“Well, I still don’t feel right about it. Can we just give it some more time?”
I wanted to say no and demand he have his way with me right then. But I couldn’t do it. So, I just nodded and tried not to take his response as another rejection.
He didn’t completely refuse me. He only asked to wait.
“Yeah, that’s fine. We don’t have to rush.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and did his best to smile at me, leaning forward to brush his lips against my temple. It was quick and unexpected—like he hadn’t really thought about it.
That made me feel a different sort of way inside. And it forced me to wonder if maybe he wasn’t completely wrong about holding off. But I refused to entertain that idea for long.
Rising from the bed, he tipped my chin up to look at him. “I’ll be back late tonight. Sleep in the bed, stubborn girl.”
“Wait, you’re leaving?”
I cursed the part of me wanting him to stay and the part without any self-control that let my needy question slip out.
“All the Knights have to go to the Round Tableau to prepare for tomorrow’s party.”
Before I could respond, he left me on the bed and started gathering his things around the room. He had told me about the party the other day, and I remembered Elaine mentioning it. But in the midst of all the orgasms, I’d filed it away under Unimportant Details.
But now, it meant we were thirteen days into the first challenge, and I had to say I regretted that first week of stubbornly refusing orgasms. Even if the reason I had held out became more of a concerning possibility by the day.
Since I couldn’t change the past, I refocused on the future.
Throughout The Quest, Camelot Court held a party every thirteen days. He said it gave everyone a chance to spend time together, since it was easy to get lost in the bedrooms.
I couldn’t say there were too many people I wanted to see—a few I preferred to avoid entirely. But Landon said it also gave everyone a chance to unwind and have fun. I was most curious to see Landon outside his comfort zone, removed from his usual habitat and partying. Whatever that looked like. I couldn’t really picture it.
Maybe he’d finally let his hair down.
Maybe he’d stop doing the honorable thing all the time and fuck my brains out.
A girl could hope.