2
After breakfast, and wearing the most beautiful clothes he'd ever seen in his life, Ender decided to go exploring.
He wasn't expecting two royal guards to shadow him.
"Why do you have to follow me?" Was he not trusted? But that didn't make any sense.
"For your own safety, Master Ender," one of the guards said.
"You are very obviously related to Lord Nadir, and His Majesty's guest, and there are people who would use and hurt you to their own ends."
"I see," Ender said faintly.
To think just days ago his biggest concern had been his upcoming exams.
"May I visit the royal library?" He'd heard of it numerous times in school, just one of many things he'd never thought he'd experience.
One of the guards smiled, looking very much like a father indulging a child he was proud of.
"Of course, Master Ender.
This way."
Ender walked with shoulders back and head high, though every stare and whisper that followed him made him want to hunch over and pull the wrap on his shoulders up over his head.
He was used to eyes passing over him, didn't even enjoy when all eyes turned to him when he asked or answered a question in class.
He thought he'd get some relief when they reached the library, but it was nearly as busy as the rest of the palace, and so the whispers and stares continued.
Then suddenly the whispers changed, and the stares shifted.
Ender's heart raced faster than ever, but when he turned to investigate the new arrival, it wasn't Nadir as he'd expected.
It was the other concubine.
Mercy of the Gods.
Ender wanted to climb him like a thief scaling a wall.
He'd never seen so much beautiful muscle.
He wore gold cuffs at his wrists and upper arms, and a gold chain wrapped around his waist. The most striking jewelry, though, was the collar around his throat, displaying the head of a jackal with glittering blue eyes. Sapphires, probably.
The man's eyes widened, and he said, "Well, I certainly see what all the fuss is about.
Twins.
Right out of a wild story told by a drunk at a bar."
Ender laughed.
"Yes, I don't think I can ever scoff at how absurd and over the top those stories are anymore."
"Lord Berkant," one of his guards greeted.
"Good morning," Berkant replied.
"I wish I could linger, but alas, I am here to obtain some books that my king requires immediately.
I will no doubt see you again soon, Master Ender.
A good day to you."
"G-good day," Ender managed, and bowed as the guards did, swallowing as Berkant walked away, noting helplessly that the back was as nice as the front.
He never thought he'd envy a king so much, but what a delight it would be to be caught between Nadir in the front and Berkant—
His face burning with lust and shame and mortification, Ender hurried on further into the library.
Thankfully, a woman with a librarian's pin approached him, and if she was startled like the rest of the palace, she made no show of it.
"How can I help you, Master Ender?"
"I only wanted to admire the famous royal library," Ender replied.
"Though, at that, I would love to see what poetry is available here.
The selection must vastly outstrip even the university library."
The woman laughed.
"Poetry must run in the blood.
This way, please."
What did that mean? That Nadir liked poetry too?
He followed the woman through the library, to a section that completely dwarfed the poetry collection at his university.
There were books and poets he'd never even heard of, and he'd read every last book he could get his hands on.
Architecture was his professional pursuit, but poetry was his passion.
The woman flitted about the stacks, and returned with five volumes, a smile on her face that was fond and amused all at once.
"I think you'll find these volumes of particular interest, Master Ender."
"Ah, thank you, I deeply appreciate it," Ender said, not really certain what else to say, or what was even happening.
She led him to the main desk, and in short order he had an account with the royal library and five books checked out.
He considered sitting at a table to read them, but given the whispers and stares continued, maybe he should find somewhere quieter.
Out in the hallway, a passing servant paused and bowed.
"Shall I take your books back to your room, Master Ender?"
How did everyone know his name already? "Um, yes please, thank you so much."
The servant took the books, bowed, and hurried off.
Ender was never going to get used to all this.
Deference.
Bodyguards.
People carrying his things.
Being stared at like he was remarkable in some way rather than a country bumpkin to be ignored.
One of his guards offered a sympathetic smile.
"Perhaps you'd like to see the gardens next? His Majesty has granted you permission to visit his private gardens, and they are very much worth viewing."
"He has?" Ender replied.
He hadn't done anything, except show up looking like one of His Majesty's concubines.
If he wasn't Nadir's twin, none of this would be happening, and he didn't know why that thought hurt so much.
It was stupid.
If he wasn't Nadir's twin, he wouldn't even be here. He'd still be at school, stressing about exams and making plans to visit his parents, pondering where he wanted to apply for work once he had his degree. He'd never know about any of this, and he wouldn't pine for it or even dream about it.
Shunting his stupid thoughts aside, he smiled and said, "I would love to see the gardens.
Even the finest houses back home do not have more than a handful of potted plants." Gardens were too costly, especially in water.
He couldn't fathom living in a place that had so much water there was not one, but multiple gardens.
He gasped when he saw them.
There were more plants and trees and flowers than he could identify.
Jasmine, various orchids, trees with long, wispy branches falling over a bench, roses, lilies… everything arranged around a winding stone path of multicolored stones and little bridges that crossed a stream.
A stream , in the middle of the palace, all that fresh water there just to be decorative.
He paused on a bridge as movement caught his eye and stared at the fish swimming about looking for bugs and other food.
"Do you like them?" a familiar voiced.
Ender turned, not sure what to make of the ache in his chest as he took in Nadir, who stood smiling warmly at him, more beautiful than ever in the late morning sunshine that washed over them.
"Um.
Yes.
They're beautiful.
The gardens, I mean." Of course that was what he meant, what in the world else would he have meant?
Nadir's smile widened.
"Come on, I'll show you around, tell you about some of the rarer plants.
The royal family has always been ardently devoted to their gardens, and Shafiq is no exception." He moved to walk with Ender, not touching, but close enough he so easily could, and damn Ender's stupid everything for the way that made his heart beat faster.
This was his brother ; he shouldn't be having such thoughts about him.
But how did you regard someone as a sibling when you hadn't even known they existed until just a day ago? Barely a full day, at this point.
Regarding someone as family was a lot more involved than being born to the same parent or parents.
Swallowing, Ender sought desperately for a distraction, relief sweeping through him when his gaze fell on a colorful flower he didn't recognize.
"What is that? It's stunning."
Nadir followed his pointing and broke into another beautiful smile.
"That's a twilight orchid.
Shafiq has the only ones in the kingdom.
They're imported from Rittu, where they only grow on one of the smaller islands surrounding the main ones."
"The colors don't seem real," Ender replied.
They were purple, pink, and teal, blending and flowing into each other in a rainbow that certainly suited being called twilight.
Nadir motioned.
"If you like that, you'll love the special roses.
This way!" He hopped over the little stream and vanished between two trees with long, flowing branches like strands of beads in a doorway.
Ender hastened to follow him, and tripped over something on the ground, nearly slamming right into a rosebush and the pond just past it.
When he was certain he had his balance back, face hot at making such a fool of himself, he finally took in the roses properly.
There were six… no, seven enormous bushes framing a pond filled with splotchy black and white fish.
The roses were shockingly dark in color, from what nearly seemed a true black, to a deep crimson, midnight blue, a rich viridian, purple, a lush dark gray, and an orange like dying embers.
"I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life.
I didn't know roses came in such shades."
"They don't, normally," Nadir said, brimming with excitement and pride.
"These have been specially bred by the royal family for generations.
Shafiq and his gardeners are working on a dark pink one right now, but they're still turning out heavily red.
That black one took three generations."
"Fascinating," Ender murmured.
"What are the fish?"
"Starlight Koi, another import." Nadir laughed.
"In the moonlight, they look like they're glowing, which is where the name comes from.
They were a wedding gift from his late wife."
"That must be bittersweet," Ender said softly.
He had no experience with such a devastating loss, and wasn't eager to experience it, though such things were inevitable.
Still, to never be allowed to leave the palace, forever surrounded by memories of the person you'd loved most in the world…
Nadir smiled sadly, echoing Ender's thoughts.
"He has Kajan, at least, and us." He paused, then flushed.
"Well, Berkant and me." His smile turned mischievous.
"For now.
Come on, next flower!"
So they went, wending and weaving through the garden, until Ender was exhausted, and he knew more about exotic flowers than he'd ever expected to learn.
"Early dinner?" Nadir asked with a sheepish laugh.
"Let me see if Shafiq and Berkant can join us; they'd both enjoy that.
Come, sit and rest.
I'm sorry, I got a bit carried away.
A lot carried away."
Ender smiled and reached out to reassure him with a grip to his hand before he recalled himself and yanked it back.
"No worries, please.
This is the most fun I've had in my life.
Country bumpkin, remember?"
"I don't think you could be a bumpkin if you tried.
You have more class and grace than nobles have trained for their entire lives." He motioned to a servant who'd likely been summoned by one of the guards, from what Ender had seen of their efficiency so far.
"Would you bring refreshment for Master Ender, and send someone to speak with His Majesty, asking if he and Berkant might be able to enjoy an early dinner with us?"
"Of course, Lord Nadir," the servant replied, fading off with a smooth bow.
Sitting next to him on the bench, Nadir asked, "So what else did you intend to do with your day?"
"I didn't really have any plans—I wouldn't know what to plan," Ender said with a laugh.
"I went to the library and then my guards suggested His Majesty's gardens.
Then my twin absconded with me to teach me everything about orchids."
Nadir laughed, loud and long, head thrown back to display the beautiful lines of his long throat.
There was a red mark there Ender hadn't noticed before, clearly put there by an eager mouth.
How would his skin taste? What noises would he make?
Why was he thinking these things about his twin brother .
Ender didn't know whether to laugh or cry or throw himself in the koi pond after all.
Thankfully, the refreshment showed up then, and Nadir set it between them.
"I would pour for you if I could, but that would be a severe breach of etiquette, even for me."
"I can pour my own wine," Ender said with a smile.
"I'm no noble.
But thank you." Thank you, brother he should have said, but he couldn't make that last word come out.
He'd never had siblings.
He didn't feel like he had one now. He didn't know how that was supposed to feel.
How did Nadir feel about all this? Was he excited to have a brother, even if there would always be the divide between them of peasant and royal concubine?
What a fascinating life that would be.
It was the kind of life talked about with everything from wonder to contempt as people imagined the glamorous, easy life concubines must lead 'just because' they were beautiful.
Ender had never given any of it much thought.
Now it had been set before him, though, he wondered desperately how that life would really be.
Serving the king, learning dance and song and other arts, talking to so many different people at the various banquets and meetings.
More time for poetry, reading in general… would Shafiq enjoy being read to? Or would he find that hopelessly boring? Even unpleasant, since Ender hardly had the polished city accent of everyone around him.
A stupid thing to wonder about—worry about—as the opportunity would quite literally never exist.
So he squashed all his stupid fanciful thoughts and questions and poured some wine.
It was fruity and light, only faintly sweet, a perfect complement to the salty snacks that accompanied it.
"I feel silly eating in front of you while you can't."
Nadir waved the words aside.
"Trust me, I eat and drink plenty throughout the day, sitting in on meetings, lunches, everything else.
Wait until you see how much food we eat at dinner.
Don't worry about me."
"As you wish." Ender finished his snack and a waiting servant whisked the tray away.
"What shall we do now?"
"You said you went to the library? Did anything catch your interest there?"
"Poetry," Ender replied immediately.
"I hadn't been able to find Stars We Gather anywhere back home, and I also got some translations of Tomorrow, Tomorrow and Sorrow Finds Us that I've never seen before." He realized how silly he must sound, throwing out titles like everyone read obscure foreign poetry, but the way Nadir's face lit up stopped his apology short.
"I have a compilation of translations for Tomorrow, Tomorrow .
Shafiq bought it for me a couple of months ago.
It has translations from Tritacia, Petch, Rittu, and Lavarre.
There's supposedly a second volume coming out that will cover Havarin, Gollen, Hodge, and Pellana, but I don't think we'll see it before next year at the soonest."
"That sounds incredible.
Just all together like that for easy comparison to each other and the original.
Is it as amazing as it sounds?"
"You can see for yourself," Nadir replied with a smile, and with an elegant nod of his head toward the direction of his chamber, sent a servant off to fetch the book.
"Come, we'll go sit under the pergola, the breeze across the water and the shade make it perfect for such things."
Ender didn't bother to reply, just smiled and followed him back through the garden to the beautiful gazebo.
It was enormous, made of stone columns and a wooden top structure, with gauzy curtains wrapped all around it, the ones in the front tied back with silk cord.
Inside were settees and other bits of furniture meant for the kind of luxurious lounging only rich people could afford to do.
Nadir took one of the settees, and Ender settled on a sofa, not quite as willing to sprawl comfortably as Nadir.
He wondered how many people in the palace would kill to be right where he was, even with the presence of guards to prevent acting on any of the lurid thoughts in their heads.
Not one but two servants appeared almost right behind them.
Bowing, the first one then said, "His Majesty says an early dinner sounds wonderful, and he'll see it arranged.
His private dining room in two hours, Lord Nadir."
"Thank you."
The first servant left, and the second handed over the requested book before departing as well, leaving them with only the guards once more.
Nadir flipped the book open and paged carefully through it.
"Who shall we start with?"
"How about Heather? I'd love to see the various translations of Swan ."
Nadir brightened, like a child given a present, and flipped expertly through the pages until he came to it.
So the next almost two hours went, the two of them taking turns reading poems aloud, and then verses, and that somehow led to improvising their own poem, each taking a line, building it as they went.
It was a game Ender had always loved, but rarely had the time or people to play with, always busy with studies or picking up odd jobs for money.
When a bell rang, Ender startled, yanked from their idle as awareness of the rest of the world returned.
"Oh, no, I never went to dress for dinner." The bell meant there was only fifteen minutes before the new hour, which wasn't enough time to return to his room, clean and dress, and get to dinner on time.
Nadir laughed and left his book on his settee, no doubt for someone to retrieve and put away after they were gone, and stretched as he stood up.
Ender tried his best not to stare, but he'd have more luck if he tried to no longer need to breathe.
There was no way they could possibly be twins, even though they very obviously were.
The man he saw in the mirror was nothing at all like the beauty before him, long and lithe, grace in every movement, so naturally sweet and charming.
Shafiq was lucky to have Nadir, and unlike most people presented with something precious, seemed to appreciate that.
He stood, smoothing out his rumpled clothes and tidying his hair as he followed Nadir from the garden and back into the cool dark of the palace proper, wending through hallways filled with whispers and stares until they reached a door flanked by two guards.
"Lord Nadir, Master Ender," one of the guards greeted as the other slid the door open.
"Enjoy your dinner."
"Thank you," Nadir said with a smile, and led the way into the room.
A private dinner with the king and his concubines.
What was going to happen next in this strange new life he'd stumbled into?
His stomach growled as the scent of food struck his nostrils.
Various meats that had been roasted, grilled, or fried.
Vegetables redolent with herbs and butter.
Soft, still steaming bread, bowls of hummus and chutney, platters piled with sweets that Ender had only ever seen, never tasted for himself.
A rainbow of wines, each one more than Ender could afford if he sold off everything he owned.
Food was momentarily forgotten as he took in the sight of Shafiq with Berkant sitting right next to him, and even the most na?ve person would be able to see they had been kissing.
For the privilege of seeing that Ender would sell everything he owned.
He'd give his belongings away.
Instead, he smooshed down all the stupid thoughts and emotions he had no right to and bowed low.
"Thank you for inviting me to dinner, Your Majesty.
I'm also deeply grateful you let me spend so much time with Lord Nadir."
Shafiq waved him to a cushion, and Ender's stomach flipped again when Nadir took the one right next to him.
The table was large, but not overly so, leaving a close, intimate feeling that did nothing to calm Ender's tumult.
"This is stunning.
I don't think I've ever seen so many wines in one place." Only as he said the words did he realize how stupid and bumpkin he must sound, but it was too late now.
Berkant chuckled as he and Nadir poured wine.
"I've been Shafiq's for months, and I still am often bemused by all that is 'normal' for me now.
I used to live in a one-room hovel I shared with rats that grew as big as healthy cats.
My nights were spent as a bodyguard for a repellant little snake who got me into more fights than I could count.
Now my biggest worry is ensuring Ambassador Leeree doesn't realize I find him insipidly boring."
"Or watching for the wandering hands of some of the Havarin crowd," Nadir said with a sigh.
"You'd think at some point they'd learn they really are not allowed to touch us; we're not slaves like those they torment back in their rotten country." He waved a hand in the air.
"Boors, all of them."
Shafiq scowled.
"If any of them puts so much as a finger on you, I will remove the entire hand."
"They haven't succeeded so far," Nadir said.
"They're not as sneaky as they've convinced themselves.
So did I miss anything exciting in court today?"
Berkant grinned as he offered wine to Shafiq.
"Fight broke out amongst some farmers.
Guess there's quite a bit of squabbling about a stretch of land that touches each of their properties.
Had to come all the way here to finally get it sorted.
But they've all been sent to the palace jail for the night."
"Hopefully that will teach them to keep a cool mind," Shafiq said with a sigh.
"I can't fix a problem if all anyone does is yell at me and each other all at once.
So what did you two do? Hopefully something more fun than frustrated farmers."
Ender smiled.
"I went to the library, then Nadir gave me a tour of your beautiful gardens."
"After that, we enjoyed some poetry until dinner," Nadir said, and launched into a more detailed recounting of the poems they'd read, bits of the one they'd been making up together.
He didn't so much as pause while he plied Ender with food and wine.
Shafiq smiled beautifully throughout.
"I would love to witness that.
I'm not surprised that poetry is a shared love.
It seems built into Nadir's very bones.
I bet listening to the two of you in your element would be quite the treat."
"I'm always happy to perform for my king," Nadir replied, the words innocent, but the tone hotter than stoked flames.
Ender flushed hot and stared at his plate.
He didn't belong here, amongst pretty men making flirty jokes they could and would act on later, surrounded by decadent food and lavish wines.
He would never belong here, not least of all because if he was, by some unforeseen kindness of fate, given a place in Shafiq's harem, he would not be able to stop himself from treating Nadir nothing at all like a brother.
"M-my pardon, Your Majesty, I'm suddenly not feeling well." Ender pushed to his feet and fled before anyone could speak, hurrying through the halls to his room.
Another fine thing that would never truly belong to someone like him.
Especially someone with so filthy and perverted a mind as a man who wanted to fuck his twin brother.
Eyes blurred with tears as he hastened into his room, it took him a moment to comprehend what he was looking at.
Raia.
Lying on the floor, surrounded by spilled wine?
No.
Not wine.
Ender screamed as he realized he was looking at a pool of blood.
"Raia!" He surged forward—but then was abruptly yanked back against a large, armored body and a cloth that smelled rank was slapped over his mouth.
The last thing he saw was a royal guard dragging Raia's too-still form across the room, a trail of blood in his wake.