4
He woke to the scent of fragrant cinnamon-honey porridge and soft chatter, pushing sleepily to a sitting position as he yawned and stretched, and shoved his messy hair out of his face.
He blinked blearily at Berkant.
"I didn't think concubines could leave the palace."
Berkant laughed.
"Good morning.
Strictly speaking, we are forbidden from leaving palace grounds, but I don't think a single royal has ever entirely obeyed that law.
Sometimes, we're the best choice for matters like this.
Did you get some rest? Here, breakfast is ready, and then we'll be on our way home. Should be there by late afternoon, early evening."
"Here you are, Master Ender," one of the guards said, holding out a steaming bowl, face somber as he added, "I apologize deeply that some of our own betrayed you.
The royal guards are supposed to be faithful and true, not vile little backstabbers.
Those traitors have shamed us all."
"Even the best carpenter still endures rotted wood from time to time," Ender said with a smile as he accepted the offered bowl of porridge.
"Thank you."
The man smiled again before withdrawing to rejoin the others, talking quietly amongst themselves as Berkant moved to sit next to Ender.
"How are you feeling, little meerkat?"
Ender squinted at him.
"You called me that last night. Why?"
"You and Nadir are much alike, in that you look quite unassuming, sweet and lovely, but are tough and tenacious.
Nadir, like a crafty mongoose who is not affected by the venom of the snakes he kills; and you our little meerkat, taking out vermin with brutal efficiency."
Ender flinched at the memory, but he couldn't be wholly sorry about killing the man either, not when they'd probably intended to kill him eventually.
"I'll be happy to go back to being just an ordinary, boring person."
Reaching out, Berkant brushed back a strand of hair that had fallen into Ender's face.
"There is nothing ordinary about you, little meerkat, but I will be glad when we're all safely home again.
Come on, finish your porridge, and then I've got clean clothes for you, and something to help with that bruise I did not see in the dark, my apologies."
"You came to save me, you don't have to apologize for missing a bruise in the dark ," Ender said with a laugh, before finishing the last couple bites of porridge.
A soldier stepped in and took it, and Berkant was urging Ender to his feet, over to where a bucket of water waited for washing up, which he did as the soldiers and Berkant all politely turned away to give him some semblance of privacy.
When he was done, feeling much better than he had in…hours? Days? Ender called out, "All set."
Minutes later they were off, riding as quickly as they safely could.
One soldier had been sent ahead at sunrise to let Shafiq know he'd been found and was on his way home, and two more held back to protect the rear, should further assailants come from wherever Ender had been imprisoned.
They didn't stop until the sun was high in the sky and the worst of the heat was beating down on them.
Thankfully, they reached another water station, this one nice enough to have little shelters offering cool shade.
Ender took the water one of the guards brought him gratefully, forcing himself not to gulp it down, no matter how tempting that sounded.
When he was no longer thirsty, and had cooled somewhat from the unbearable heat, he turned to Berkant.
"What happened after I…left dinner?" Fled like a pathetic coward, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words, no matter how true they were.
"We were all quite worried about you, especially Nadir, who feels particularly guilty."
Ender frowned.
"Guilty? Why in the world would he feel guilty about my behavior? He's not the one…" Ender looked away, drawing his legs up and wrapping his arms around them, that sick feeling returning to his stomach, churning and roiling.
"He did nothing wrong.
Nobody has done anything wrong, except for me.
I am sorry I fled, though, that was not the way to handle the situation."
To his astonishment, Berkant chuckled, and smiled gently when Ender looked at him.
Still smiling, Berkant swept his eyes over the soldiers, who were scattered around the rest area, so they had eyes on every direction, and were far enough away from Berkant and Ender to give them some measure of privacy.
"You will have to speak with Nadir yourself, and later my king, but I can tell you that you are not as alone in your feelings as you think, and you have nothing but support and understanding from the rest of us.
Unconventional does not always mean wrong."
"I—" Ender's waterskin slipped from his fingers as mortification rushed through him, and he only vaguely noticed as Berkant caught it.
Had he really been so obvious in his amorous feelings for his twin brother? Gods, what must they think of—
"Hey, breathe," Berkant said, cupping his face in his hands.
"Ender, did you understand what I said? You have our support ."
Ender laughed bitterly.
"I cannot imagine why."
Berkant sighed.
"Because life is complicated and strange, and expecting people to act so-called normally under abnormal circumstances is ignorant at best, cruel at worst." He brushed his thumbs gently along Ender's cheekbones.
"Please, do not worry upon anything until you are home safe.
That is all that matters right now.
Everything else can wait until then, all right? Focus on yourself, nothing else. Also try to remember none of this would have happened if my king had not summoned you, dragged you right into the middle of our mess."
Ender's laugh this time was softer, faintly amused.
"I suppose there is that." Though he didn't really blame anyone except the people who had hurt him, hurt all of them.
"Good," Berkant said, dropping his hands slowly.
"Shall we continue onward, then? We'll be home right around dinner time if all goes well."
"Dinner at home sounds lovely.
Let's go."