Chapter 21
“G unther, Maria, Min, and Loic, you’ll form our quartet to open before the third years take over the Halloween Black and Red fundraiser ball we host in a week,” Delgado announced, his gaze falling on all the students who hadn’t been selected—me included. “Now, don’t get too excited. It’s a privilege to perform chamber music in the grand salon, but the pressure is high.”
All four selected students had more chances to grace the stage of the grand Pantheon Opera after its renovation, but I wouldn’t let myself be defeated. I swallowed the silly hope I had that maybe Delgado would pick me after having worked my ass off to prove to him I had my place here. I raised my hand to answer all his theoretical questions every chance.
“Congratulations,” I said to Gunther, sitting next to me, who wrinkled his nose in a grimace, turning his back even further to me.
“My reputation is at stake here, and you’ve all been nothing but a disappointment. I hope you’ll prove me wrong,” Delgado continued his usual uplifting motivational speech, interrupted by the coughing of Maria, who had a nasty cold. “Does anyone have any hand sanitizer? I hate germs.”
Instead, I noted the first victory of today. I’d be going to my first Halloween ball with friends!
I’d never been to a Halloween party before. I would simply look out my window at the kids gathering in our streets with their parents, but none of them dared to approach our house. Dad wouldn’t allow me to play with them because of the lack of security, and he thought it’d trigger my nightmares.
“You’ll learn the Brahms Piano Quartet No. 1 in G minor, Op. 25,” Delgado said as Maria raised her hand. “Yes, Maria, only the four of you; the others will continue to work on challenging your mediocrity. Music is an art, for God’s sake!”
I was trying to find the page from the previous lesson when I came across Lucie’s score. The sheet music was a tapestry of darkness and despair—nightmares, horrors, pain. There wasn’t a single touch of light in her composition. This didn’t make sense. The day he was born. Levi was her child, who wouldn’t love her own child? What if something else had happened that day?
“Miss Mercier?”
There must’ve been something I’d missed. Maybe the second music score would be different? Lucie was a genius. She didn’t leave anything to luck. If only I could—
“Miss Mercier!” Mr. Delgado’s screaming voice snapped me back to reality, making me jump on my chair and break my pencil. Gasps echoed from the students as he approached me with heavy steps. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing, sir,” I replied hastily, concealing the music score beneath my notes.
“Hand it over,” Mr. Delgado ordered. “Now.”
I swallowed. I couldn’t give him the music score; Levi had entrusted me with it. “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. It’s just doodles.”
All eyes were on me, whether they were glaring or laughing at me. In Delgado’s class, it was a cutthroat competition for first place.
“She was composing,” Gunter, the teacher’s pet, chimed in.
That little —
Mr. Delgado paced like a shark smelling blood, and we engaged in a silent battle for control of the music score. He eventually wrestled it from my hands, scrutinizing it with a puzzled expression.
“Colors?”
“Yes,” I swallowed, trying to seize the opportunity. “I’m working on synesthesia, just like the book of the composers you asked me to write an essay on.”
“Well, it looks like you did your homework after all.” He winced as if he could hear the discordant sounds emanating from the music score. “But the harmonies, nothing works together. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“I’m experimenting,” I said with a flawless smile. “Contemporary music is all about experimenting, am I right?”
Mr. Delgado squinted his eyes and hummed as Maria pained to conceal her coughs.
Gunther turned to me. “You’re welcome, Unifier.”
“Miss Mercier! Learn Miss Perez’s violin part just in case. If she sniffles and sneezes like a hippopotamus on the day of the gala, she’ll scare the crowd.”
Maria shot me a nasty cold stare. “But I’ll be fine in two weeks and—”
“I’ll be the judge of that. Miss Mercier, don’t be so slow. Switch groups, now.”
I nodded and rushed next to the top four students, belittling myself in a corner, my heart bouncing in a staccato rhythm. The class was a battle between Maria and I on the violin, the rest of the group ignoring all my interactions since I was only a replacement. Gunther was slowly warming up to me though when he realized I was as serious as he was about music.
The bell finally rang. We gathered our belongings, and Mr. Delgado shouted one last instruction at us, “Don’t forget the rehearsal sessions!”
Exiting the classroom, I found the hallway decked out in a Halloween theme, complete with hanging pumpkins, ghosts, and skeletons. Pausing in my tracks, I tapped out a message to Levi, the fifth one today regarding the music score. Deep down, a nagging gut feeling persisted, urging me to probe further and wondering if Levi was okay—even if he only cared about himself.
Me: When can I have the second music score? I could study it beforehand.
Levi: Beforehand? I wouldn’t want you to alter it to spare my feelings. Compared to you, I can handle the truth.
Me: You don’t have feelings, Levi.
Levi: Touché.
Levi: But you’re wrong – I’m pretty fond of loathing, disgust, and anger.
Me: Let’s meet.
Levi: Does it even occur to you that I too have to study?
Me: What happened to that genius brain of yours?
Levi: Still need to put in minimum effort.
Me: And how about your desire to torment me?
Levi: I’ll come to you.
Me: When? How do you know where I’ll be?
Levi: I’ll always find you, Dalia. Let’s not bother with the technicality of how.
Levi: Remember, you initiated this. I’ll be fast, my little thief.
I paced back to my dorm, intending to vent to Yasmine about my day. She wasn’t there, though, and had left me a text saying she’d be out studying with some classmates. In the meantime, I delved into violin practice, showered, and called Grandma, urging her to halt her online poker spree due to the influx of email notifications, when someone knocked on the door.
It was nine o’clock.
Yasmine wouldn’t have knocked.
I swung the door open, my cheeks flaring hot. “You.”
“Your delightful expression is always a pleasure to witness,” Levi replied, leaning with deceptive nonchalance against the doorframe.
I couldn’t believe I stood in front of him with my silky white pajamas on while he was clad in a sleek black turtleneck and charcoal-gray chinos.
“I just didn’t expect you at this hour.” Great. Now I sounded just like Grandma, ready to go to bed at nine o’clock.
“I told you I’d come to you.” He scanned my outfit, his gaze stopping at my chest. “Did you dress up like that just for me?”
I folded my arms over said chest, hoping he hadn’t seen the shape of my breasts from underneath my pajamas or, worse, my nipples hardening. It was all humiliating, and easily averted, if only I hadn’t tied my long hair in a silly crown braid.
“Yasmine will be back soon, and I don’t want her to get the wrong idea.”
“You mean that you’re my dirty little secret?” his voice dripped with a sadistic edge. “Yasmine won’t interrupt us.”
I tensed. “What did you do to her?”
“Why so threatening, little thief? Let’s say, she’s… entertained.”
“I swear if you or your friends hurt her, I’ll—”
“You’ll what? What will you do to me, huh?”
I stared him down, my chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven breaths. “I’ll give up on you, and you could torture me all you want, but I’ll never react. I’ll be as good as dead. You’ll be bored of me and go back to being your empty self.”
His lips stretched into a scowl. “Interesting. And as for earlier, no, no one is hurting Yasmine—unless she’s into this kind of foreplay.”
“Your friends should stay away from her.”
“Do you want them for yourself? Be careful, Dalia, I could be a jealous man with you.”
“So you’ll hurt your own friends if I were to want one of them?” I smiled at how ridiculous this whole thing was, but his eyes narrowed into two sharp, menacing daggers, causing my lips to clamp shut. “You’re insane.”
“Yes,” he said sharply, his hand closing on the doorframe so he could lean over me. “You can’t get rid of me. I’m like the shadow behind your back, and as for being insane, aren’t all geniuses?”
Our breaths mingled in the sparse air between us as he drew nearer, closing the gap. I brought my hands back to my sides, my eyes flicking to the group of Unifier girls passing by in the hall.
“You’re also disillusioned.”
Levi tilted my head up, his fingers moving aside the collar of my pajamas to reveal my collarbone. “What do you have here?”
Chills cascaded along my flesh. He was looking at the crimson bruises on my neck. The infamous violin hickey. I usually tried to prevent them as best as I could because it looked like I’d had “action all night,” as Grandma said, while Dad used to insist on eight Hail Marys as penance.
Right, tons of action with my violin. We’re at four hours a day.
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s a hickey,” Levi rasped, a muscle tensing in his jaw. “It better be one from your violin.”
I bit the inside of my cheek and straightened back my collar. “Or what?”
He pressed me against the wall, his fingers tracing the outline of my bruise before stopping on the throbbing pulse in my neck. His gaze was akin to steel, cold and unyielding, sparks skittering across my spine.
“There will be consequences. Unpleasant ones.”
“There are people here,” I stammered, girls watching us in the hall.
Levi spared them a glare briefly before humming. “Then let’s give them something to watch, little thief.”
“Levi, don’t you—”
My protest was cut short by his lips crashing into mine, dominating and claiming. They were incredibly soft. Another lie about him. His hand snatched around my waist, binding me to him. He smelled like a dark, secluded, mossy forest after a rainstorm. A jolt shot through my stomach, causing it to contract. With wide eyes, I glanced at the students, who quickly looked away.
It felt like more than just a kiss.
He branded me, seeking ownership, wanting to tear me limb from limb, shredding me like ribbons. His full hand grabbed my throat, and I didn’t trust him not to choke me. Worse, I didn’t trust myself to push him away, my body betraying me with the increase of my heartbeats, the fire surging in my belly, the need to tighten my legs.
“You’re mine. My little doll to play with,” his hoarse voice promised as he trapped my lower lip between his teeth, sucking on it.
I’d spent all my life seeking freedom—I wouldn’t let Levi control me. If I strived to be like him, free and strong, I couldn’t be controlled by him. His tongue invaded my mouth, and he pushed me back into my dorm, slamming me against the wall. The door snapped shut behind us. His free hand slipped under my pajama shorts to my thighs, and I gasped, a whirlwind of thoughts battling in my mind.
“Are you wet for me, Dalia?”
I was. His mouth closed on my neck, my collarbone, my throat, but all I could focus on was how I wanted him to touch me. To want me. I pressed my body further against him, my chest heaving up. My brain sent conflicting signals; none of my Catholic talk seemed enough to stop me. You can’t trust your heart around him, Dalia.
“Levi,” I pleaded.
He caressed me from on top of my panties. It felt so good. So new. My breathing quickened. I pushed my hips further into him, wanting to feel the friction. What was I doing?
“I knew it. So fucking wet.”
No. I can’t do this.
Sex should be an act of love. Not lust.
I pinched my eyes shut. “Stop.”
His mouth stopped nibbling on my neck, right under my violin hickey. He removed his hand from my crotch, and my body ached, already missing his touch. I opened my eyes, and his brows had furrowed, his face hovering close to mine, yet our bodies remained inches apart.
“If you swear no part of you wants the slightest bit of me, I’ll stop. If you admit you’re mine, I’ll stop if that’s what you want. Or I could give you exactly what you need. Two choices.” He teased my hard nipple from over my pajama with his forefingers. Oh, that feels good too. I pushed my chest to his, but he retracted, leaving me panting. “Are you mine, Dalia, or are you solely the annoying obsession I want to get rid of?”
“No.” I swallowed, not even knowing what I was telling him no for. Unifiers followed their hearts, but I had to think like a Tactician right now. I crossed my fingers behind my back to erase my words. “I do not want to be yours, nor want you like that.”
“Hmm.” He cocked his head to the side as if he could smell my lie. “If you’re not mine, then you’re nothing more to me than a pawn.”
“Fine by me.” My stomach churned; I’d never been a good liar.
He stepped back and opened the door, a faint smile playing on his lips. I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding. Why was he smiling? I had just turned him down, and he looked almost satisfied with the outcome.
“Thank you,” I said. “For respecting what I want.”
“You’ll come to me; it’s just a matter of time, but I’d prefer not to force you to realize this.” He pulled out his phone, tapped a few times, and then I received a notification on mine. “Text me when you’re done with the second music score.”
I glanced at the picture he sent me, immediately recognizing the grand staff with treble and bass clefs.
“Wait…” I frowned. “This isn’t for violin, it’s for piano.”
But Levi was already gone.
I was good for another shower, a very cold one, infused with holy water. I went to the bathroom and took sight of my reflection.
That bastard had given me another hickey under my violin one.
He’d marked me, and I had let him.
Yasmine entered our dorm with takeout from the pub. “You hungry? Got a vegan burger saved for you, though I already ate mine on my way back.” She paused. “Is that a serial killer wall?”
My gaze fixed on my creation: a wall adorned with Post-it Notes encircling the two music scores. Red ribbons and pins connected the codes from the violin score. Baron batted at the Post-its like a determined boxer.
I folded one of the Post-its into a ball to send it to him. “Thanks, but I can’t eat until I’m done. Then I’ll erase everything.”
I couldn’t shake the idea that something was wrong. First, with me, because of what almost could have happened with Levi earlier, which had left me in need of a distraction. The second wrong thing was the piano score. It was already well-written and neat. Nothing was abnormal at first glance; it was just a simple score that beginners could play. It was too simple, and Lucie wasn’t that type of composer. She was too creative to create something so basic. And why a piano score? Lucie didn’t play piano; she was a violinist just like me.
“Please don’t. This is cool, but is you-know-who supposed to be here?”
“No.” I crossed my arms. “And I prefer to do this without him and his constant judgment, or the way he distracts me. This is work. Not kissing under the doorframe and—”
Yas coughed, swallowing the rest of her fries the wrong way. “We need rules. No boys’ business in this room!”
“I couldn’t agree more.” No more Levi business. I circled the recurring pattern of a short cadence every thirteen measures. “This number, again.”
“Okay, it’s mystery time. Tell me all about it.” She settled on the floor, calling Baron to cuddle while throwing aside the bag of food.
As if teaching a class, I explained, “This number, thirteen, keeps coming back. In the violin score, this was when the melody was almost nonexistent to the limit of breaking the musical sentence. Yet in the piano score, it’s the opposite. Throughout the score, the piano is only an accompanist, a secondary character, if you will, who steals the show every thirteen measures.”
“Why thirteen?”
I turned back toward the piano score. “I don’t know. In some cultures, it was seen as death, like the tarot card, or rebirth. However, in the baseline, I spotted the same four notes from partition 1: Mi ? , Mi, La ? , Si ? . They form the structure, representing Levi’s name, but this time, they accompany harmonically. It’s a basso continuo , constantly repeating.”
Yasmine, perplexed, took a pillow to lie down. “It’s like you’re speaking another language to me, and I’m fluent in ancient Greek, so that says something.”
“Let’s just say there’s a connection in the structure. They’re linked, but it doesn’t make sense!” I tapped my pencil nervously on the wooden desk. “The violin is chaotic, like a tortured character, while the piano is soft, like a lullaby—complete opposites.”
“Like yin and yang,” Yasmine mumbled, her eyes closing slowly. “If I fall asleep, leave me here. I’ll eventually wake up on my own in an hour. This floor is so comfy.”
With a soft chuckle, I settled beside her on the floor. Baron jumped on my stomach, purring, and spit out a crumpled-up Post-it on my chest. I reopened the paper of the binary counts of four beats. With binary, Levi had been able to see that the recurrence of seven in the violin score translated to 0111—which was Levi’s date of birth.
When analyzing the other numbers, I realized that the mirror date of his birthday was 1101, which was associated with the number thirteen in binary.
“The number thirteen is the mirror of seven,” I whispered. “Baron, Yasmine, you are geniuses.”
Yasmine hummed, and I embraced Baron a tad too tightly since he darted to the other end of the room. Immediately after, he engaged in a meticulous grooming session, as if cleansing himself from the dirty inferior human trying to pet him.
Like yin and yang.
I pulled the blanket off Yasmine’s bed and wrapped her under it.
The two scores had to be played together. They were linked. The two together formed a new melody.
“She created a duet.”
Now the question was, why?