Chapter 53
I orchestrated each day like a rapid and tumultuous symphony. The tempo was relentless between studying, training for the race to win points for the Unifiers, hanging out with Yas, and finding the piece I’d play for my audition.
At six in the morning, Levi’s ribbon was delivered to my doorstep alongside a music title written on a note: “Danse Macabre” from Camille Saint-Sa?ns. I ripped his note apart, locked the door behind me, and ran into the Unifier forest just before daylight.
I ran through the trees, the world shrouded in shadows. The rhythmic splashing of the rowing team’s oars against the lake’s surface pierced the music playing on my headphones—“Danse Macabre” from Camille Saint-Sa?ns.
The leaves of the trees shielded me from the rain as the man who had become my perpetual shadow unfailingly joined me in our daily ritual. His unseen presence always followed me through the winding trails.
Chasing me.
Hunting me.
My heart, caught in the throes of adrenaline, clawed at my throat. I would run faster and faster until I’d escape him. My legs felt numb. Emerging from the forest’s depths, I wheeled around, gasping for breath.
Through the tendrils of mist, I caught a glimpse of Levi, his intense gaze fixed upon me. Not one strand of his hair was misplaced. A silent exchange transpired before he vanished into the shadows, leaving me with the echoes of our shared morning pursuit.
He always let me win, his psychotic instincts probably getting him off from chasing me, pushing my limits each morning to see how far I’d go.
But I had no doubt that he’d catch me one day, and my heart wasn’t ready for that outcome.
After returning to my dorm for a shower, I made my way to the coffee place and ordered a matcha tea, which I had already paid for because Levi Delombre, my new stalker, had a weird concept of romance. Each moment became a greater struggle to resist him, yet strangely, his presence spurred me to work even harder, as if he had become a part of myself.
After a day of class, I walked through the deserted corridors, my backpack snugly holding my violin case. Footsteps echoed behind me, stirring a faint smile on my lips. I didn’t need to turn around to know it was him. Always with me. Like my own shadow.
Earlier in the evening, I spotted him seated among the science bookshelves in the library. His gaze captured mine, and he never looked away from me for hours. He didn’t try to talk to me. He just stared, just like we did when we were children.
Sometimes silence speaks more than words.
I liked it. I liked it more than I should have.
Reaching the music studio, I left the door open just enough to let a sliver of light seep into the dark corridor. The scent of polished wood and rosin greeted me as I made my way to the center of the room.
Please, let me find the composition I should play for the audition.
I had already wasted a month on Bach. I scattered my selection of baroque music scores on the desk so I could pick. Through the window’s reflection, I glimpsed him seated on the floor outside, leaning against the wall. Hidden from direct view, just like old times, only his silhouette was discernible. He remained still, his form resembling a curled-up shadow.
He was my sole listener and my inspiration. I was his sole remedy—and damnation.
Together, we shared a bond that would never break.
I lifted my violin from its case, cradling it against my shoulder. I was about to play Handel, but then I changed my mind. This isn’t me. I started the recorder and took a deep breath.
Only speak when you have something to say. It’s the same with music, Lucie used to say. Don’t think. Forget about the technique. Listen to your heart. Don’t imitate, don’t seek perfection, be honest with your feelings. Don’t lie.
I drew the bow across the strings and shut my mind off. I poured my heart into the melody, allowing each note to speak the words I couldn’t utter aloud.
My violin quivered like my tormented heart, scorched and spasmed.
With a weighted touch and a slow stroke of the bow, I coaxed a warm and somber sound from the strings. The lower strings emitted a velvety, full-bodied tone while my fingers applied a quivering vibrato.
Levi’s shadow loomed outside, his silhouette hunched over with his hands clasped around his skull.
I shared my pain and suffering with him through music, breaking our hearts in a heart-crushing melody. My brows furrowed. Sadness . My violin shrieked. Loneliness . My muscles bruised. Love . I played until exhaustion, until I felt hollow and drained.
My final note faded into the air, and I shut off the recorder.
“You found your audition song,” Levi said.
“I just improvised. I can’t play this. It’s not traditional; it’s not what’s expected,” I muttered. “It’s so broken.”
“That’s why only your music has ever touched me.”
He hoisted himself up, his shadow stretching away from the silver light spilling through the open door, his footsteps fading down the corridor. My heart leaped. Every part of me felt like I was in agony without him, like he was my breath of fresh air, but I had to ignore my bleeding heart and focus on my battle ahead.
For once in my life, I had to be on my own.
Broken doll.
That was what I would name my composition.
The one I would play for the audition.
I paced back to my empty dorm. Yas was gone, playing board games with Sylas in the common room, but I didn’t want to meddle with the rest of the Unifiers.
I settled my computer on the bathroom sink so I could listen to a baroque playlist while hopping into the shower. I bit my lower lip, facing the tape hiding the camera. I wasn’t ready to give in to Levi—a part of me still hadn’t forgiven him. It felt easier to hate him. But… My belly coiled, my fingers hovering so close to the tape. But… I was lying to myself, craving the way he watched me. And tonight, I wasn’t ready for him to stop.
I had to be on my own until I reached my dream, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t do this .
I peeled the tape off my computer’s camera and stared into the lens. Was he watching me? I took a step back, put up my hair with a clip, and stared at the lens once again. I wanted him to want me, while he couldn’t have me. It made me feel… powerful, like my body had been lit up on fire.
I lifted my blouse to stand in my underwear. If Levi had taught me one thing, it was that I shouldn’t feel ashamed of my needs and desires. I unclasped my bra and dropped it on the tiles, followed by my panties, until I was standing completely naked. My chest heaved, and I imagined his stormy, tormented eyes locked on me. I imagined him in the darkness of his room, his face obscured by the glow of his computer and his black hoodie. Was he getting hard? Was a sneer tugging at the corners of his lips?
I stepped into the shower and let the water jet cascade over me. I craned my neck back and tugged on my nipple, caressing my breasts like he was the one touching them. My hand traveled between my thighs, imagining he’d get on his knees for me, his mouth licking and sucking on my sex. My clit throbbed, and I gasped, the baroque music reaching its crescendo.
My other hand closed on my neck in a chokehold while mist formed on the windowpane. Was he fisting his hard length? Was he clenching his muscles so hard he was on the verge of breaking too? I sat on the tiles so he’d get a better view of me from the angle I oriented the computer, and my thumb traced circles around my clit.
Would he be as rough as our first time? Would he take me from behind, my hands clutching the sink for support? Would he kick my legs with his feet like he did last time while my breasts grazed the cold stone? My stomach clenched. Would he clasped his hands on my waist with a bruising grip while pounding inside me until I’d feel him in my belly? Would he fist my hair, craning my neck up so I’d watch him drive inside me through the mirror? Would he slap my butt cheeks? Would he bend me over so that my hands would graze the floor, and I would stand on my tiptoes while he would lift me up to him, thrusting inside me until oblivion?
I sank to my knees, curling my body inward, my fingers stroking my clit harder. I was so close, gasping for breath and feverish.
“Levi,” I moaned, rolling my hips as I felt my orgasm nearing, the climax of the music reaching its peak.
Or would he worship me like he did before? Would he choke me with a kiss with one of his hands on my nape? Would he make me sit on the counter while he kneeled in front of me and ate me with this tongue, and—
“Oh my—” I came in a burst.
I lay on the tiles for a moment. What did I just do? I bit my lips—it was the first time I’d succeeded in making myself come. I didn’t feel ashamed but liberated. But the consequences, Dalia… I’d deliberately provoked Levi, giving him the green flag for pursuing me more than just stalking me. This was the admission that he was still getting inside my flesh and bones. The sign he was waiting for.
And just when I thought that maybe he hadn’t even watched me, a pop-up message like green lines of codes appeared on the black screen:
“When you moaned my name… Good night, little thief.”