18. Nora
18
NORA
H ow is it that the times in my life that should feel the most joyful are often the times that I feel the most anxiety and tension?
I blow out a breath as I stand before my floor-length mirror. As soon as I got home from work today, I immediately started stressing out about what to wear to Alex’s house. As I study my reflection, I actually feel pretty confident that I’ve struck the right balance between comfortable and stylish with a loose white tank top tucked into chambray shorts, paired with tan leather flip-flops. I accessorized simply for the occasion with a red bandana tied around my high ponytail and a stack of thin beaded leather bracelets. With a swimsuit base layer and waterproof mascara, I’m prepared for if I want to get in the pool.
What I’m not prepared for is hanging out with Alex’s family. I know I’m reading too much into this. I’m sure that I’m the only person in the world who would be worried about someone mistaking me for Alex’s girlfriend.
The more I’ve considered it—and trust me, I’ve thought about it plenty over the last week—I’ve started to realize that part of the problem is that I’m not opposed to actually being his girlfriend. With as much time as we’ve spent together recently, I’ve become convinced that he’s a great guy. Add in the hotness factor that apparently the entire internet agrees on, and he’s a real catch. He’s kind and funny, sometimes a little hyper, but also confident and reliable.
So, does it hurt my feelings a little bit that he hasn’t made any kind of move to ask me out or shown any kind of interest in me outside of friendship? Am I a bit sensitive to that fact? Maybe, just slightly. Although I did kind of freak out on him when he invited me, so maybe part of it’s on me. Maybe I don’t seem open to more than friendship.
I wish I had someone to talk to about this, but the friends that I’m comfortable enough with to bring up boy problems are either related to or best friends with a relative of the boy in question. Getting Annie or Kayla involved seems like a terrible idea, especially after the way they pushed him to lend me his kitchen. While I’m grateful for their assistance and am now confident that he really is okay with our arrangement, I don’t ever want to wonder if he only asked me out because he felt pressured.
Which leaves it up to him. Or up to me, I guess.
I am a modern woman, am I not? What’s to stop me from being the one to ask him out? The answer is old-fashioned sentimentality and a desire to be pursued. I don’t want to give that up, but what if I just kind of helped him out? Maybe a bit of flirting is in order, a little something to prime the proverbial pump and help him see me in a different way.
Could I really do that? No one who knows me would describe me as bold. I’m about as risk-averse as a person can be, with trying new foods being the one notable exception to that generality.
Do I have it in me to flirt with Alex when I don’t know if he will reciprocate? I square my shoulders and look myself in the eye.
“You can do this, Nora.” The fact that the sound of my own voice in my quiet apartment startles me a little doesn’t inspire a ton of confidence.
I pump myself up on the drive to Alex’s house with as much positive self-talk as I can muster.
I am an attractive woman with a big heart.
I would be an excellent girlfriend.
I can do hard, uncomfortable things.
I will be fine, no matter what.
I also make the decision just as I pull into his driveway that I want flirting with Alex to be as natural as possible, so I will only say or do things that feel right in the moment. No forcing it. If that means I don’t end up flirting today, then I’m fine with that. No pressure. I don’t work well under pressure, even from myself.
I let myself in, per Alex’s instructions this time, and make my way to the backyard. It feels weird arriving empty-handed, but he was adamant that he wanted to prepare every bite of food himself.
Alex greets me from behind the grill as I walk through the French doors.
“Hey Nora-Sue, how’s it going?”
I prop my hands on my hips. This is the worst nickname yet, and completely inexplicable. “Hey, Xander . Thanks for inviting me to your party.”
“Xander?” A male voice to my left catches me off-guard, and I whip my head in his direction. I was so distracted by Alex being ridiculous that I didn’t even notice him there.
I school my expression to hide my embarrassment as I address the dark-haired man with the same ice-blue eyes as Alex. “Yes, it’s the new nickname I gave him. You know, Ale xander .” I shoot a glare at Alex to let him know this awkwardness is his fault, but he just looks amused.
“You must be Nora,” the man says, standing and offering me his hand. “I’m Grant, Alex’s brother and Annie’s husband.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say, giving him a firm shake.
“Likewise. I was told to let you know that the girls are in the pool waiting for you.”
“Oh, great, thank you. I better not keep them waiting.”
I fix Alex with a glare as I walk past him. “Don’t call me Nora-Sue.”
Rounding the corner of the house, I see Annie and Maddy chatting in the shallow end beside the steps. I haven’t seen them since the book club where they introduced me to Alex. Book club takes a hiatus in the summer since most of the members have kids at home and attendance is spotty with all the vacations that get scheduled this time of year.
They both wave at me as I approach the pool.
“Come on in,” Maddy calls. “It’s so much cooler in here.”
It does feel hotter than a habanero out here in the July sun. I slip out of my shorts and tank top, draping them over the back of a pool chair, and wade in to join them.
Annie looks adorable in her turquoise two-piece with her baby belly poking out and her auburn hair trailing down her back. She wears a wide-brimmed straw hat that’s almost big enough to shade all three of us. Maddy looks very classy in a yellow one-piece, her hair in a chic knot on top of her head. She reaches out to pull me into a half hug, her other arm occupied by the adorably squishy Ileigh, who squeals and splashes like only a seven-month-old can.
“Hello, ladies. Long time, no see.”
“Maybe for you,” Annie says. “We see you every week.”
“Mmhmm,” Maddy agrees. “We watch your show as a family every Tuesday night. It’s so fun! Rowan and Seth are interested in cooking now. They made all of us quesadillas for dinner last week.”
“Really? That’s so great!” I look toward the deep end where the two boys are splashing around with Chris, Maddy’s husband, and Olivia, their seven-year-old sister.
“They think you’re a real celebrity,” Maddy adds. “They might ask you to sign a spatula or something for them before you leave.”
I laugh. “I’d be happy to.”
“They’re not the only ones you’ve had an influence on,” Annie says. “Alex wouldn’t let us bring any food today. He wanted to make everything himself.”
“He’s made a lot of progress learning to cook. I can’t wait to taste everything.” I wonder if either of them knows just how hard he’s worked this week, studying the recipes I sent and asking questions, making his grocery list, and starting the food prep last night to be ready for today.
“So the show is going well then?”
“Yeah, it really is.” I give them a brief overview of the growth we’ve experienced in the short month that the channel has been live. “We’ve almost got enough subscribers to start running ads. It’s so exciting to see the views climbing and read the comments about people cooking along at home.”
“And the comments about Alex,” Maddy adds. “Has he been insufferable knowing that he has an online fan club?”
“No, actually.” Much to my surprise, aside from that one joking comment in the driveway, he hasn’t brought it up again after our initial discussion. “He’s been pretty focused and level-headed about the whole thing. I think he takes the show as seriously as I do.”
Annie and Maddy exchange glances. “What?” I ask.
“It’s just that Alex isn’t usually the ‘takes things seriously’ kind of guy,” Maddy says as she shifts Ileigh to her opposite hip. “I mean, it’s not that he’s irresponsible or immature. I’d trust him with my kids’ lives.”
“But he tends to be the comic relief,” Annie explains. “He doesn’t take himself any more seriously than he does anything else. It sounds like he might be trying to change that.”
I’m not sure how to respond to that. “You guys know him better than I do, but he’s been this way since I met him. Maybe this is a different side of him that’s been there all along and you just haven’t seen it.”
I second guess my words as soon as they leave my mouth, fearing they might have come across as judgmental or condescending, but Annie and Maddy don’t seem offended.
“That might be true,” Maddy concedes. “But something brought it out in him. I think it’s you.”
“Me?” I cringe. This is exactly the line of conversation I was afraid of.
“Yep, I think he’s trying to impress you.”
I must not look very happy because she laughs and nudges my shoulder. “It’s not a bad thing. I’m glad he’s trying something new and growing, whatever direction that takes. He’s been kind of a loner since he moved to Nashville. I keep hoping he’ll make some friends and get a nice girl, but he mostly just works out and hangs out at home or with us.”
I can’t really say much about that since she just described my life, minus the working out part. “I don’t know about any of that, but he’s done a great job on the show,” I say matter-of-factly. “I’m glad to be working with him.” That sounded nice and professional, right?
I’m saved from any further discussion of this topic by a wave of water crashing over us as the boys’ rough-housing migrates to our side of the pool.
“Chris, control your children,” Maddy scolds as she shakes water off of her sunglasses. “Can’t a mom stand here and chat for five minutes without being drowned?” she grumbles.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Annie announces as she climbs the steps out of the pool. “I think I’m going to go see if ‘Alex the Chef’ will grant me early access to any of his food.”
I frown after her as she waddles away, a towel wrapped around her expansive middle. I wish they’d stop making jokes about Alex. They seem to treat him almost like a child. The Alex I know is a good guy and deserves their respect.
“You okay?” Maddy’s question jerks me back to the moment.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I smooth out my features and smile, reaching for a change of subject. “When is Annie due?”
It works, and we chat about the kids for a few minutes until an obnoxiously loud and tinny clanging sound fills the air.
Alex stands by the pool, and I quickly ascertain that the phone in his hand is the source of the awful noise.
“What is that?” I shout over the racket.
“A dinner bell app,” he shouts back. “The food is all ready, so come and get it.”
“Not until you turn that thing off,” Maddy demands, her hand over Ileigh’s ear.
He taps his screen and the backyard goes quiet. Ears ringing, I climb out of the pool and flick him with water. “Please never play that sound again.”
He grins. “It got everyone’s attention, so it did exactly what I wanted it to do.”
“You couldn’t think of any other way to get our attention?” I wrap a towel around my waist and turn to face him. “Like just saying, ‘Time to eat, everyone?’”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
He falls in step beside me as I walk toward the patio behind the kids, who took off without bothering with towels. Chris and Maddy linger behind us by the chairs, drying off and laughing softly together.
“I’m excited for this dinner,” I tell him. “How did everything turn out?”
“Pretty good, I think.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I had to make an emergency run to the store this morning for hamburger buns—I don’t know how I forgot them when I got groceries yesterday—but other than that, everything was smooth sailing.”
We reach the patio and I see that he’s laid out all the food on a folding table covered with a red gingham plastic tablecloth. A stack of clear plastic plates—the ones that seem fancy for disposable dishware—waits on one end, along with forks and cups. A pitcher of something pink with dark circles bobbing in it sparkles beside the cups. It all looks very appetizing and put together.
“What’s that in the pitcher?” I ask.
“Fresh squeezed strawberry lemonade,” he replies proudly. “I had to buy a sieve to keep the seeds out, but I think it tastes pretty good.”
“Where’d you get the recipe?” It certainly isn’t one I sent him.
“I googled it. I couldn’t resist the urge to add something that I came up with all on my own for extra credit.”
I reach over and squeeze his arm. “I’m impressed! This really looks good, Alex. I’m so proud of you.”
I look up at him and see him watching me, his mouth slightly ajar. He glances down at my hand, and I drop it quickly before anyone else sees. I clear my throat and put some space between us as my cheeks heat. Did that count as flirting? It’s the first time I’ve touched him outside of a handshake. Or, you know, fleeing hand-in-hand for our lives from an imaginary intruder.
He averts his eyes and turns to face his family, who are milling around claiming seats in the circle of chairs around the fire pit, which is thankfully not burning today. We certainly don’t need any extra heat. “Alrighty, I think that’s everyone,” Alex says. “Let’s eat.”
Cheerful chaos ensues as everyone fills their plates, talking and laughing the whole time. I stand back and wait for the line to die down before building a burger and getting a generous helping of each of the different salads.
The only open seat is on the end, beside Alex. I sit down and settle my plate in my lap, listening to Alex chat with Chris about Maddy’s interior design business and how it’s grown enough that she was able to take some time off when Ileigh was born and let the other designers she brought on handle things for a few months. When Chris stands up to get a refill, Alex turns to me.
“How do you think it’s going?” he asks quietly. I can tell he wants his question to seem casual, but I know how much he wanted this party to be a success, for his siblings to be impressed. I glance around the circle and answer truthfully. “Everyone seems to be enjoying the food.”
“They haven’t said much,” Alex replies a bit impatiently.
“Believe it or not, that’s a good thing.” I bite back a smile at his confused expression. “The sad truth is, more often than not you only get feedback when something goes wrong. If the burgers were burnt or the salads were too salty, you’d definitely hear about it. But if everything is good? People just enjoy their meal and move on. It’s the opposite of ‘the squeaky wheel gets the grease.’”
He huffs. “Well, I worked hard on this. You’d think I could get just one little pat on the back out of it.”
I smile. “Nobody realizes how much effort goes into making anything—not just cooking—look effortless. But give it time. The cake is a show-stopper, so if they don’t say anything after dessert, then we’ll know they have damaged tastebuds and there was nothing you could do.”
Alex laughs. “Good plan.”
“At least you can rest assured that I think everything tastes great. And girls like guys who can cook for them, so this is a skill that will pay in dividends.”
He looks at me with a smile. “Girls like that, huh?”
Maybe I should have been more specific and said I like a man who can cook for me. But I’m trying not to be too obvious here.
I drop my eyes and focus on my food until I think of a question. “Why did you call me Nora-Sue earlier? Where did the Sue come from?”
“I wanted to call you by your middle name, but I realized I don’t know it, so I substituted the first name that popped into my head.”
“And that name was Sue?”
He shrugs. “I must have seen it somewhere recently.”
“Well, I don’t like it. This is my official veto on that nickname.”
He gives me a thumbs up. “Got it. That one’s out. So, what is it?”
“What is what?” I frown in confusion.
“Your middle name.”
“Oh! It’s Rose.”
“Eleanora Rose Beckham.” He says it slowly as if tasting each syllable separately. A tiny shiver slides up my backbone despite the heat as I hear my name falling from his lips. “It’s a good name. Very classy.”
“Thanks. I didn’t like it when I was a kid. I thought it sounded like a grandma name.”
“You don’t look like any grandma I’ve ever met.” The words hang in the air between us, shimmering like a mirage. Heat shoots through me, and I can’t drag my eyes away from his. Are my feeble attempts at capturing his attention paying off already?
Then Olivia appears beside us and the moment is broken.
“Uncle Alex? I ate all of my burger and Mom said to ask you if there is dessert.”
“There absolutely is dessert. You think I should go get it?”
“Yes, please!” She clasps her hands together eagerly, and her twin braids bob as she nods enthusiastically.
“Okay, kiddo, I’ll bring it out.”
“Thanks!” Olivia says before dashing back to her seat between Maddy and Annie.
Alex wiggles his eyebrows at me. “The moment of truth.”