Chapter 29 #2
“You did.” He takes a seat across from me at the kitchen table.
It’s kind of amazing how this house sits here looking all warm and welcoming, like it’s ready for a family to move in.
There are even a couple of plants here and there—they’re fake, but they add to the illusion.
I can almost relax here. I can almost breathe.
I can almost pretend there’s anything normal about any of this.
He nods slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. The lines etched across his forehead and at the corners of his eyes tell me how much the experience has taken from him. I doubt he would ever admit it out loud, but he’s shaken up.
“I understand why,” he finally adds after leaving me hanging for much too long. “I found the phone. You dropped it in the closet. I saw the messages he sent.”
And now I remember the video, and it makes my hands tremble until I come close to spilling tea all over the table. “You have a deal with Gabriel.”
He is decent enough to look me in the eye, at least. “I did. I have from the beginning.”
“So everything else was a lie?” It doesn’t feel right, challenging him now, but I need to know. I deserve to know. “All that stuff about helping me find a new life. It was all lies.”
His frown deepens, but he doesn’t deny it. “And the stuff about me studying,” I continue as bitter betrayal squeezes my heart. “You were only playing with me.”
“No. No, it wasn’t.”
“How can you say that?” I’m actually kind of disappointed in him. He’s been straightforward since he found me in the room where Dad was holding me. “I can’t have it both ways, can I? Getting an education or being trapped in a marriage to a stranger—in Italy,” I add, and I shiver at the thought.
He stares at me, unblinking, like he’s willing me to understand. “At first, that was the plan. I was going to hand you over to him in exchange for his help in the original ambush. It was the deal I made, but it’s not the deal I want now.”
“I’m supposed to believe you?”
He sighs, a little defeated-sounding. “I understand how you would feel that way. All this time, you’ve been lied to and used. But I mean it. Giving you to Gabriel… that hasn’t been on my radar for a long time. I said it was during that conversation to get everyone off my back.”
Shaking his head, he grunts, “No, I’m not giving you to him or to anyone. I meant it when I asked if you would stay with me, be my teammate. I’m not asking for more than that.” His eyes darken, though. “I want more, but I’m not going to force you. Never again.”
I want to believe him, but since when has wanting to believe gotten me anywhere? I wanted to believe Dad, too, and now I understand he would always have strung me along with promises of reuniting me with my mother. He never intended to make good on any of them.
And he would’ve blown my brains out back there if it meant hurting Liam, because he understood Liam wanted me as more than revenge. “I don’t know if I can believe that,” I admit, gripping the mug tight as my hands start to shake again. “Can you see how I would have a hard time believing you now?”
“Of course. All I ask is that you have a little faith in me. That’s it.
Give me a chance. It started off all wrong, but I understand something: I went there tonight to find you.
To free you. Not to get back at Donovan, but to get you away from him.
Because that’s how much you mean to me. That’s what you deserve. Someone to be on your side this time.”
My whole miserable heart wants to believe him.
I want to fall into his arms and promise I’ll never lie to him again.
That I was stupid to think Dad was doing anything more than twisting me up, using me as a tool.
“You’re safe with me,” Liam insists. “I’d understand if you don’t believe that.
All I ask is that you give it time. Don’t try to run again. Can you do that?”
Can I? What’s the alternative? Saying no? Getting thrown to the wolves? I already tried the whole living on the run thing, and it didn’t go well.
Who am I kidding? It’s not all about that.
I don’t want to be away from him—it doesn’t make any sense, but that’s how I feel.
The thought of saying goodbye for good makes a sick, cold feeling pool in my belly.
No, I don’t want that at all. “I promise,” I whisper.
“I won’t try to run again. I won’t betray you anymore. We’re a team now.”
“Good.” He reaches across the table and I let go of the mug to take one of his hands. He squeezes tight. “Good.”
Later, in bed with his body wrapped around mine and his arms holding me close, I have to ask one more question. It’s easier to do that in the dark with my back to him, when I can’t see his face. “Did you ever think I was going to shoot you?”
He’s quiet for a long time, long enough that I wonder if he’s still awake before his soft sigh stirs my hair. “There was a second or two when I wasn’t sure,” he murmurs. “Like I said. I read the messages, I watched the video. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you wanted me dead.”
Now it’s my turn to go silent for a long time. “No,” I decide. “I wouldn’t have shot you. I never wanted you dead.”
This time, it’s a soft laugh that stirs my hair. “Never?”
“Okay. Maybe not never.” I’m still smiling as I fall asleep in his arms, which is where it’s starting to feel like I belong. Nobody else could make me smile on a day like this.