Chapter 17
Chapter
Seventeen
“But what if I don’t want the connection to disappear?” Jasper had never felt this way about anyone before. He couldn’t just give up on it!
And okay. Maybe he felt that way because of the half-mate bond or whatever. But he didn’t want to relinquish these feelings. Not without a fight!
“It is the way it has to be,” Kraghol said, voice rough.
Jasper pressed his lips together. It seemed that Kraghol had planned this out. Apparently, Jasper had no say in it.
“So that’s it? You save my life. You pour your life essence into me and make us half-mates. You create all these feelings and needs inside me.”
Jasper rose to his feet, snatching up his clothes. “Then I spend ages trying to find you. Practically every day I came into the forest looking for you. Then I finally find you. We fuck. Then you tell me to bugger off!”
Jasper tugged on his clothes, trying to ignore the stinging pain of rejection.
“That’s not…” Kraghol shook his head. “No.”
“No? Well, that’s what it feels like to me.” He accidently dropped his trousers onto the dirt floor.
Kraghol leaned down to pick them up.
“I can get them,” Jasper snapped. He grabbed his trousers and yanked them on, ignoring the dirt. “I understand. You had your way with me, and now you want me gone.”
“That’s not it at all!” Kraghol’s brows furrowed. “If you take some time to think over what I have told you, you will realise that what you feel is just this partial bond. Once the bond fades, you will feel nothing for me.”
Jasper swore he heard a hint of sadness in Kraghol’s voice.
“It’s for the best, Jasper. It’s what is best for you.”
“Stop it!” Jasper held up a hand. “Stop telling me what I want or how I feel or what’s best for me.”
True, what Kraghol had told him was a lot to process.
Jasper had learnt a lot in the last couple of minutes.
His thoughts reeled, and he needed to think through it all.
But he’d never liked being told what to do or what was best for him.
He tended to do the opposite on principle, regardless of whether he should.
And right now, he did not want to leave Kraghol. It stung that that was what Kraghol wanted.
In the following silence, Jasper pulled on his coat and boots. He should walk to the cave entrance and leave. Instead, he hesitated.
“Are you sure we can’t complete the mate bond?” he asked, feeling both foolish and desperate. Because the idea of mating Kraghol appealed to his very core.
He didn’t care if it appealed because of the half-mate bond. Jasper just knew he felt how he felt. He didn’t want to walk away and let these feelings disappear into nothingness. That sounded like complete and total shit! And if they could mate, wouldn’t the feelings he felt right now stay forever?
“You are not a krampus,” Kraghol said once again. “Only a krampus can mate a krampus. But like I said, the partial bond will disappear completely. Then you will no longer want to be around me.”
Jasper shoved his hands into his pockets. He let out a shaky breath. He did not want the yearning to disappear. He wanted to have that which he yearned for. And that was Kraghol!
But maybe Kraghol was right. Maybe his feelings couldn’t be trusted. Maybe he should just stay away. At least for a little while.
Then Jasper paused. Was his strange sickness linked to the half bond? That would explain why it had started after the accident. It also explained why he felt better in the forest and why it went away completely when he was near Kraghol.
According to Kraghol, the bond would fade with time. Maybe the sickness would fade too? That made sense. At least, he thought it did.
Kali yelped. She stood, awake and alert, glancing between them. Her nap had clearly been disturbed by their disagreement.
“How do you know Kali?” Jasper lifted his chin. “I can tell she recognised you. So don’t pretend you don’t know her!”
Kraghol looked down at Kali. His gaze softened. “She was orphaned and took shelter in this cave last winter. I raised her.” He looked back at Jasper. “I asked her to watch over you after you drowned. That’s why she has stayed by your side.”
“You asked her to stay with me? You don’t miss her?”
“Very much.” He swallowed. “But I am glad she is with you. I am pleased and proud that she is your familiar.” Kraghol knelt and patted her. “A life with you would be much better than a life with me.”
Kraghol stroked his hand over her head. “I hadn’t even realised I should give her a name. Krampuses don’t have familiars or keep animals. I just called her little fox.”
And once again, Jasper could hear the sadness in his tone. Jasper looked to the cave entrance, watching the snow fall. The light had started to fade from the sky.
“I should head back,” Jasper said reluctantly. His head started to ache, and his limbs felt heavy. Which was odd. This was the first time he’d felt any of his illness symptoms in Kraghol’s presence.
He should mention the whole sickness thing to Kraghol, see if he thought it was connected to the bond. But suddenly, Jasper felt sick of talking. He needed some time to think first.
“Yes. That would be best.” Kraghol rose. “I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused you.”
Jasper shook his head. “No. Thanks for saving my life. Say bye, Kali. We’re leaving.”
Kali rubbed against Kraghol’s hooved feet.
Kraghol leaned down once more to pat her. “Goodbye, Kali. Take good care of him for me.”
Jasper’s chest constricted at the words. After a moment, he turned and walked to the cave entrance.
Kraghol followed him. “Perhaps I should escort you to the forest’s edge.”
“I’ll be fine. It’s not even dark yet. And like I said, I’ve been walking this forest since I was a boy. I can handle myself.” He paused. “Goodbye, Kraghol.”
“Goodbye, Jasper.”
Jasper and Kali set out. Jasper glanced back to look at Kraghol. The krampus’s shoulders drooped. He watched Jasper, his face drawn and his head lowered. Sadness and loneliness radiated from him.
Jasper turned away and kept walking. He had a lot to think over.
Because despite what Kraghol thought, Jasper hadn’t given up on the two of them. Not yet anyway. Just because Kraghol thought something was best, did not mean Jasper agreed. He wanted to come to his own conclusion.
Kraghol had dumped a lot of information on him. Jasper needed to process. He’d go home and sleep on it. Or maybe just lie in bed, staring at the dark ceiling, and ponder it all. Maybe he’d take a day or two. Then he’d decide for himself if he would keep his distance from the sad krampus or not.
He wouldn’t merely disregard Kraghol’s opinions, of course. But Jasper might challenge them. However, at the end of the day, if Kraghol really wanted him gone, Jasper would respect that.
Kraghol kept saying that they did not belong together. He referred to himself as a hideous creature of darkness. He’d called Jasper light and beauty and sunshine. Jasper huffed. He needed to understand what the fuck Kraghol was talking about.
Furthermore, Kraghol was certain that Jasper’s feelings and desires only existed because of the bond. Perhaps that was true. Mates and all that stuff always perplexed Jasper. But he knew his feelings. And he knew he did not like to ignore his feelings no matter where they came from.
He always went with his heart over his head. Even when it landed him in trouble.
He had a feeling that even after a night’s reflection, he’d still go with his heart in this instance. And his heart yearned for the sad krampus who lived in the cave all alone in the forest.
Hopefully pursuing him wouldn’t land Jasper in trouble.