Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
Why is he coming back?
Kraghol strode towards the edge of the forest. His stomach tensed, skin tingling as he felt Jasper approach. He quickened his footsteps. He paused amongst a copse of trees, waiting for Jasper to appear. The fur on the back of his neck prickled.
Despite everything he’d said, he longed to see Jasper again. Every muscle in his body tensed in eager anticipation. He held his breath.
He didn’t know why Jasper had returned and ignored his words, but Kraghol could not wait to see his half-mate.
It was foolish to think of Jasper as his half-mate. That bond would disappear soon enough. But Kraghol couldn’t stop himself.
My half-mate. My almost mate.
If only he could remove the half and almost. He shook his head. It was a foolish thought. Beyond foolish even.
We do not belong together. We do not belong together. We do not belong together.
But then Jasper appeared like a ray of sunshine on this grey, gloomy winter’s day. Kraghol’s lungs expanded. Kali trotted along beside Jasper.
But why had Jasper returned? He knew everything now. He should want to stay away from Kraghol. Taking a deep breath, Kraghol strode out to meet him. No point hiding now.
A smile lit up Jasper’s face. Kraghol’s footsteps lightened. Kali bounded towards him, kicking up snow with her paws.
Kraghol knelt and patted her, brushing the snow from her fur. She rubbed against his big hands. Then Kraghol looked at Jasper and rose. “You came back.”
“I did.” Jasper stopped a few paces away. “I know you said I should stay away. But I thought over everything you said, and I have things to say and questions to ask.”
“You do?”
Jasper nodded. “I want to be here with you. I like you.”
Kraghol’s heart stopped. “That’s just the bond talking,” he said, trying to keep the tremor from his voice. “It will go away in time.”
“Hmmm.” Jasper pressed his lips together.
He looked out amongst the trees. “Maybe that’s true.
I don’t really understand this whole half-mate bond thing.
” Then Jasper met his gaze. “But I know that I like you. And everything inside me wants to be here with you right now. So here I am.” He took a step forward.
“But you said we don’t belong together.”
“We don’t.”
“Why?” Jasper took another step towards him.
“I am a krampus.” Kraghol waved a hand at himself, at the horns, tail, and hooves.
Jasper’s gaze raked over him. “And why does you being a krampus mean we don’t belong together?”
Kraghol huffed. He was sure he’d said this already. “Krampuses are creatures of terror. We live and thrive amongst the shadows and darkness. You do not belong anywhere near me, my kind, or my world.”
Jasper didn’t respond. He just stared at him.
Kraghol pushed on. “My kind delight in scaring people into behaving. We relish the dread we strike into people’s hearts on Krampus Night. We feed off the screams of those we chase. We enjoy whipping and beating city folk. We love causing fear.”
Jasper’s eyes narrowed. Then, after a moment, he shook his head. “No. No, you don’t. That’s not you, Kraghol. None of that is you.”
The words pierced straight to Kraghol’s core. Because Kraghol had described a krampus. But Jasper was right; that description had never been true for Kraghol.
He swallowed. They’d only spoken a handful of times, and already Jasper saw that in him.
Years ago, after he had tried to enter Anorra and find a new life, Kraghol had tried to be a proper and true krampus. He’d thought that since he couldn’t leave, he’d just have to embrace who he was.
He’d joined all the krampus gatherings. He’d even chased some fools one Krampus Night. He’d managed to corner a goblin.
Kraghol had stared down at the goblin, switch in hand. The goblin had pressed himself against the brick wall, eyes wide. He’d been shaking. He’d raised his hands above his head, as if preparing to defend his face and body from the fall of the switch.
Kraghol’s hand on his switch had tightened. His stomach had roiled. Bile had risen into his throat. He had turned away and let the goblin go unscathed.
He couldn’t force himself to be a true krampus. Nor did it seem he could fool Jasper into thinking he was one.
He knows me. He understands me. He sees me.
Still, that wasn’t enough. “Our kinds do not belong together. Human and krampus, there is no future for us.”
Jasper looked away. He didn’t speak for several moments. Finally he opened his mouth. “Okay.”
Kraghol’s heart sank. Because although Kraghol was the one making all the arguments about why they couldn’t be together, perhaps he’d wanted Jasper to disagree with him. Perhaps he’d wanted Jasper to try to convince Kraghol he was wrong, that they could somehow find a way.
“So that is the reason why you say I shouldn’t be around you?” Jasper tilted his head. “You sure it’s not because you just don’t want me?”
“Of course not.” The words escaped Kraghol before he had time to think.
Jasper smiled. “So you do want me.” He stepped in closer. “You just don’t think we belong together long-term.”
“We don’t.” It was hard to think with his half-mate so close and smiling up at him.
“But that means we could be temporarily together.”
“What?”
“We can’t be proper mates, as I’m not a krampus. That’s what you said. And we are so different, so we have no future.” Jasper took Kraghol’s hand. “But we could be together temporarily, couldn’t we? Until the bond fades and we no longer wish to be together.”
Kraghol stared at their joined hands.
“But if you want me to go away, Kraghol, I will. I’ll stop bothering you.” Jasper’s brown eyes searched his face. “I don’t want to be a nuisance. If you don’t want me here, I’ll leave. You won’t see me again. The decision is yours.”
Kraghol blinked. How the fuck is this my decision?
Kraghol was the monster. He should be lucky to be allowed near Jasper! Now Jasper was letting it be his choice if they should be together, even if only temporarily.
A part of him knew he should say no. This wasn’t right.
And he knew without a doubt he’d fall for Jasper. And then when the bond broke and Jasper left, he’d be heartbroken.
But as he stared into Jasper’s beautiful face, as he stood in Jasper’s glowing presence, all he could think was that he wanted to be around Jasper for as long as he could. He’d willingly suffer the heartbreak later if it meant he could be with Jasper now.
“All right,” Kraghol said.
Jasper’s smile widened. His eyes twinkled. “Really?”
Kraghol found himself smiling in response. “Yes. I would like to spend time with you. Temporarily.” He couldn’t forget that last bit.
Jasper tilted his head to the side. “And how long exactly until the bond fades?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t know a lot about partial mate bonds. But I believe it varies a great deal. It could be a few weeks or a year,” Kraghol said.
“Hmmm. That’s a big range.” Then Jasper reached up and wrapped a hand around Kraghol’s neck. “We better make the most of it.” He tugged Kraghol down and kissed him.
Kraghol closed his eyes as their warm lips met.
This couldn’t last. He knew that. But he would savour this time together with Jasper until the bond faded.