Chapter 16 Yara
YARA
It took all my strength not to run the moment the massive doors on my right opened, allowing the humid air to flicker in, making it really hard to breathe.
If it wasn't for the fact that I had no idea where I was or how far the civilization was from here, I would've ran, but my chances of actually getting anywhere were pretty much non-existent.
The longer I stared at Xavier and his fucked up friends surrounding him, the more I could recognize who was who, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that the vile motherfucker placed next to me was none other but Rhett.
The slimy bastard that tried to touch me when we raced.
The motherfucker who told me in graphic detail what he'd like to do to me.
That night when Xavier held me in his arms, I wanted to tell him.
I wanted to explain what happened in the car and what caused the accident, but something held me back.
Something deep inside me told me to keep my mouth shut and to keep some things for myself.
I guess I was right to listen to my instinct, because even though he knew Rhett did something, he didn't stop him from being so close to me, from being here.
The whispers about the Harvest weren't exactly as whispery as this bunch wanted them to make, but I knew nothing about it, and I wasn't as brainwashed as the girls walking past me toward the exit to believe that this night would finish well for me.
But I played along, following after the group, pointedly ignoring Xavier who suddenly got interested in me being here.
Well, he could fuck himself for all I cared.
If I survive tonight, the first bus out of this shithole is mine.
I had the money, I knew what I wanted to do, and I hoped I would never have to see any of them.
Ever. Again.
"Yara." His voice grated on my nerves as he called my name the moment we stepped outside, daring to come close now.
Daring to pay attention to little old me.
I had no idea what hurt more—the fact that he so pointedly ignored me or the fact that I was nothing more but a little game he wanted to play.
Tilting my chin up, I stubbornly looked at the tall tree opposite of us, biting my own tongue to stop the tears from spilling.
My chest was cracked open already, allowing everything I didn't want them to see to appear on my skin, in my eyes, on my lips, and I'd be damned if I gave him the satisfaction of seeing me break.
"Please, Yara." He stepped closer, the heat radiating off him seeping into my skin as my bare arm touched his torso.
"Look at me." The taste of blood exploded on my tongue as my teeth sunk into the bottom lip, stopping myself from moving, barely breathing, just to avoid this fucking need coursing through me.
The need for the man who just wanted to use me.
The feel of his fingers trailing over my forearm almost shook my resolution, but then like the kaleidoscope of memories, the words Rhett had uttered flashed through my mind, reminding me why I was so hesitant to do anything with Xavier in the first place.
And to think that I wanted to apologize, that I wanted him to choose me, to fight for me, to prove his words, just so I could continue living in the fantasy world.
Xavier Thornton wasn't a fantasy. He was a nightmare wrapped in a nice package, presenting himself as everything I ever wanted, when in reality he was everything I should be running away from.
My hopes, my dreams, my future, none of it mattered to this man standing next to me, still trying to pretend that he cared. Still giving me the performance of the century as his voice broke one last time, as he pleaded for me to look at him.
I wouldn't. Not now, not ever again.
He wasn't worthy of my tears. He wasn't worthy of this chasm in my soul and I should have known better.
I should have fought against the insane attraction I felt, but I was too weak to resist the pull he had.
I was too fucking weak to put a stop to the fucked up obsession I had with my stepbrother, because that's all he'd ever be.
A guy I once loved.
A guy that would forever stay my stepbrother.
"I need you to know—" his voice lowered, "—I meant every single word, Yara. I gave you time. I gave you space, because I know you needed it. You don't want to look at me? Fine. You don't have to. I'll just show you."
Lies, lies, lies and more lies.
Yet the fucked up part was that I wanted to believe in them. The part of me that wanted to have that happily ever after clung onto those words with both hands, fighting against me to let them go.
They weren't ours to claim. They weren't ours to store in the dark chest we kept hidden behind our ribs, where the special memories and special moments could go.
One day they would belong to some other girl.
Someone both lucky and unlucky, because loving Xavier Thornton was like loving hurricanes—beautiful, yet deadly.
He was like the calm before the storm, and even though you knew the storm was about to come, you couldn't help yourself from standing in the rain, waiting for the wind to sweep you up.
He should've come with a warning, a bigger warning. The one that would've stopped me from ever looking into the dark eyes, getting lost in the abyss.
Maybe if I had it wouldn't have hurt so much when he finally stepped away from me, leaving me all alone in the clearing in front of this cabin, breathing in the putrid humid air.
"You all know what to do!" His voice boomed, as my eyes closed of their own volition. "Run!"
And we did.
The rest of the girls ran between the trees, giggling, practically skipping through the air, hoping they'd be caught. I didn't.
I knew what would come if I dared to stop, if I got caught and I would rather be caught dead than getting caught by one of them. Least of all, the devil of my story.