Chapter 17
She tugged out the last of his shirt. Curious fingers stroked through the hair that trailed Jack’s lower abdomen. His muscles tightened as she reached within the waistband, unfastening, releasing him, encompassing him with her questing touch.
What came next was as much her doing as his.
If he let her continue, he’d come at once, and he didn’t want that.
Sinking to his knees, he buried his face beneath her skirts, kissing her through her bloomers, then untying them, finding her wetness with his tongue.
He needed to taste this part of her, and to inhale her scent—to devour her femininity.
Soon, she was too limp to stand, her pearl engorged and pleasured, and she willingly lay down.
His erection was painfully hard, so that he could hold off no longer. She gasped, fearful, but Jack spoke softly and, inch by inch, sank into her warmth. Encased by wetness, as close to her as it was possible to be, he was faint headed with desire.
Her sheath clasped him so tightly he knew it would be impossible to last long, but he was determined for it to feel good for her.
Tenderly, slowly, he advanced and withdrew, angling himself to press upon her sensitive place, keeping his eyes locked upon hers throughout, reassuring her, making promises for everything that might come.
Nothing had ever been like this.
And nothing would ever be the same.
Onora had thought at first to entice him into a kiss but something else took hold—beyond her control or comprehension. A whirlwind of shivering tremors and flaming heat caught her up, melting away all caution, demanding that she forbid herself nothing.
She wanted his hands caressing her breasts, his fingers then his mouth squeezing her nipples, painful yet exquisite.
She needed to touch him, too. Beneath his shirt, his muscles were firm and his skin heated.
As she stroked the hair that led downward he pressed forward, betraying the hardness straining at his trousers.
It seemed the most natural thing to unfasten him, to bare that glorious, secret part which she knew was for her—so smooth, the skin soft as silk, yet encasing granite, and the tip wet with longing, just as she was.
With her hand upon him, he groaned her name and thrust his hips, moving his girth in the circle of her fingers. Between her legs the ache grew fiercer, demanding this part of him, so masculine and powerful, capable of giving and receiving pleasure.
She thought he’d claim her then, raising her skirts and taking her against the wall, as Seton had tried to.
Whatever he wanted, she was willing. He was on his knees, baring her most intimately, kissing her there, first with reverence, then with growing passion, until she was so sensitive she could bear no more.
When he lay her down and parted her with the weight of his body, she felt momentarily afraid, but a voice within told her to have faith.
She wanted to experience this, and she would.
As he penetrated her, there was pain—a sharp stab, then the feeling of being stretched and filled. It was awkward and strange, yet glorious at the same time.
Having him joined to her, sunk within her body, was beyond anything she could have imagined.
More intense. More satisfying.
While she’d feared her tightness would prevent his enjoyment, rather it inflamed him. Between soft kisses, he murmured incoherent words, of how good she felt, how perfect!
Now move within me, my lover.
I deserve to be pleasured.
I deserve to feel alive.
I deserve…ecstasy!
The voice in her mind came from beyond herself, overbearing all other thoughts as Jack thrust, spurring her on in a haze of desire.
Images flashed through her mind, of what she’d seen in the temple: those poses, lewd and primal, of men and women mating in the basest of positions, and the goddess Qadesh—fearsome and all-knowing— watching as her acolytes copulated.
Not love but lust—a fulfilling of their sexual nature.
Don’t be afraid.
Take what is given.
Revel in it.
The strange, commanding presence flowed through her and, instinctively, Onora raised her hips to meet him. When he held still, she raised her knee, wanting him as deep as her body would allow.
Ecstasy is yours.
Make him go faster.
Make him go harder.
“Stop.” His teeth were gritted. “It feels too good. I can’t…hold back.”
Her skin was aflame, her heart thumping, and the voice grew louder.
Drive deep, lover, and fill this body with your seed.
He pressed forward again, and Onora clenched inside, compelled to hold onto him.
“Dear God!” His face contorted, and there was sweat upon his brow. “Onora. I must…” He began moving again, with fast, short strokes, his hips pumping furiously.
Onora was lost in a sea of sensation, overridden by pleasure.
First his tongue and now his phallus, stroking, caressing.
She didn’t want it to end. It felt so good! And wicked!
Not wicked. The gift of womanhood.
Sheath and phallus joined, for the bringing of life.
For the bringing of ecstasy.
She was panting, unable to keep still, when an exploding, blinding, white hot shock gripped her. It was torture and delight.
Jack’s body jerked. He arched back, rigid, the tremors of his body carrying through to the part of him that was buried inside her.
With a strangled cry, he tried to pull back, but she clung to him. Half-collapsing, he groaned again, burying his face in her neck.
“Don’t move yet.” She wrapped her foot over his calf. “I want to stay like this.”
The compulsion remained, to cling to him and to gyrate her pelvis, to wring every last drop of rhapsody from their coupling.
“I’m sorry.” Turning his face to hers, Jack looked anguished. “I didn’t mean to…I shouldn’t have let that happen…ending inside you. It was selfish. Foolish!”
She was confused for a moment, until she remembered. Copulation ended with a man releasing his seed and, if the woman was in her fertile time, there was a chance of conception.
The voice in her head had urged her to take his seed, to clench and undulate, as if to milk it from him. Was this how it was, to make love to a man? One was driven to inconceivable actions? As for the voice that had filled her mind, was that part of the transforming experience?
Onora was starting to wonder if she knew herself anymore.
Regarding pregnancy, there was surely no chance of that, for her monthly flow was due in…how many days? Two, or three perhaps.
“It’s all right.” Despite the awkwardness of mentioning such a thing, she had to reassure him. “The timing. I’m safe. I’m certain.”
He seemed to relax slightly. “Still, I didn’t know that when I…God, Onora! I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Not that it wasn’t sublime. But you’re…rather, you were…”
She understood what he was trying to say.
Her maidenhead was gone.
As if she cared!
She was glad she was no longer a virgin.
The voice lingered.
Your flesh to share.
Your body to reap delight.
Onora shook her head, attempting to push it away.
She needed to speak sensibly to Jack. If she allowed herself to listen to these invasive thoughts, she would soon be embracing him again, rubbing against him, making him hard and…
Enough!
The mist shrouding her mind faded, and she let go a deep breath.
She touched Jack’s cheek. “It matters not at all.”
“But it does!” He sat up, arranging his clothing. “You can’t carry on with Seton after this.”
“Can’t I?” She hadn’t meant to say it aloud.
The shock on Jack’s face pierced her.
Awkwardly, she set about adjusting her own garments, making herself decent.
“I’ve been thinking about it a great deal; how to.
..approach things.” She hadn’t expected to have this conversation so soon.
Mere moments ago, Jack had been inside her, now he was issuing commands.
“The situation is delicate.” She worked upon the buttons of her blouse.
“You’re afraid of him.” Jack leaned close again, putting his hand over hers.
She paused. It was true. Seton scared her, but other things did too—such as the thought of what she was going to do with her life if she didn’t marry him.
“Don’t deny it, Onora. I can see it in your face. He intimidates you. All the more reason to end things! There’s no need to wait. I’ll go with you to see him. He won’t dare make a scene with me there.”
She was touched by his indignation on her behalf, and his wish to protect her, but something about his manner irritated her too. He was making a great deal of assumptions, not least that his judgment was better than hers.
Standing, Onora shook down her skirts. “Having you there would complicate things.”
“You don’t want him to know we’re together.”
She looked him dead in the eye. “Are we?”
“I damn well hope so.” Jack put his hands on her shoulders.
“You must know what you mean to me. I’m getting you out of here, one way or another.
At a pinch, we might follow the river down to the other camp, but there’s a rowboat moored near the villa—Hassan, Fawzi, and Anwar use it to travel to their village from time to time.
We can borrow that and get down to Flinders’ site. He’ll take us in.”
“You can’t just turn up there with me in tow.
How would that look? And Mr. Petrie could hardly employ someone embroiled in a dishonorable situation.
” However alluring the idea of running away, the reality would be far from romantic.
Onora didn’t know if she was strong enough to face the disapprobation of others, and she wouldn’t be the cause of Jack ruining his career.
One didn’t simply walk out on one’s fiancé—and certainly not the Marquess of Seton—without causing a stir. For her to be so swiftly in the company of Seton’s nephew would keep the fire of scandal burning for years.
“We’ll figure it out.” Jack attempted to embrace her, but she pushed against him.
“No! I must do this myself.” Her mind was whirling, thinking of ways to control the damage.
“I’ll have to trust in Seton’s decency, in respecting my wishes.
It won’t be long before one of the steamers comes by.
I might be able to board and find accommodation in Luxor.
Otherwise, I might join Seton’s other guests when the dahabeya returns from Cairo.
I’ll be safe with the Reverend and his wife.
There was talk of them going south, to view more of the sites. ”
Jack’s face fell. “What about us, Onora?”
“I don’t know.” She felt wretched, seeing his disappointment, but it was important to speak the truth.
“I don’t know how we do this. Perhaps if I stay in Luxor, you might join me, eventually.
We could court properly—publicly, with a chaperone.
If enough time goes by, we might avoid too much malicious talk. ”
Would it work? She had a feeling that, regardless of how she handled things, there would be speculation. Then no one would want anything to do with her. Maybe not even Mrs. Griffiths.
Oh, Aunt Clodagh! I wish you were here. All this would be so much easier.
No matter the dilemma, her aunts would always be on her side.
“Whatever you say.” Jack’s shoulders sagged but he managed a smile of encouragement.
They walked back to the villa with barely a word uttered between them. Onora was glad of the silence. Having him pressure her would make things harder.
Reaching close to where the gardens began, he touched his fingers briefly to hers, whispering, “I’ll come to the villa later, to check on you. I won’t be far off. Give a sign if you need me.”
Later? How much will be different in a few hours?
Did she have the courage to stand up to Seton?
She was soon to find out.