Chapter Thirty-Three
F inn and Lily passed William back and forth for the long journey. If he’d been older, Finn might have thought he’d made a game out of fussing until he was given over to the other parent for a few moments only to fuss yet again.
But if it were, even he got bored of it eventually. While Lily napped on the opposite bench, Willie had dozed off in Finn’s arms. It was one of his favorite things. To watch his son’s eyelids flutter as he dreamed.
Finn didn’t know what kinds of dreams bairns had. Mayhap the boy dreamed of feeding as it was the thing he did best.
“I dream of your mother’s breasts as well. Something we’ve in common.” He chuckled at his own joke. Remembering the way his own father used to have the most absurd sense of humor and possibly amused himself more than others. And now Finn was doing the same without his father ever having taught him such a skill—if it could be called such.
Finn wondered what parts of a person were learned and which were inherited. How would William be like him, and how would he be like the blighter whose seed created the lad?
He knew Lily worried over such things. He guessed she thought of it far more than she let on. He did his best to put her mind at ease. But who would dash away his specters?
In truth, it wasn’t so much that he had concerns over William looking or acting like the other man, but rather how to be a good father in general terms. As they’d discussed before, love was the biggest factor. But surely there would be more to it.
Discipline was something he worried over specifically. He and June had gotten into a fair amount of trouble when they were young. And their father often had to reprimand them. But Finn never felt he’d been treated unfairly. He always knew he’d deserved whatever punishment was given.
It was hard to imagine the angel in his arms doing anything wrong. His tiny lips began moving in a sucking motion, leading Finn to believe he’d been right that the lad dreamed of feeding.
“I won’t be a perfect father, but I’ll always do my best, I promise.”
The baby stretched and opened his mouth in a wide yawn showing off his toothless gums. Finn’s hand was holding Willie’s head and when he reached up, his tiny fingers clamped onto Finn’s fingertip.
The lad was growing. His grip was stronger and reached farther around Finn’s finger than it had three months ago.
As he settled back into sleep, his fingers loosened and slid along his head.
Finn leaned down to place a kiss on his light hair.
“Sweet dreams, lad.”
“I think he dreams of eating,” Lily said from the other side of the carriage.
“I thought as much. His lips move as if he’s feeding.”
“Did you want me to take him?” she asked.
Finn shook his head. “Nay, the two of us are fine together.”
Finn hoped that would always be the case.
*
If there was anything more seductive than watching Finn with William, she didn’t know it. She’d known Finn’s heart was huge and his generosity was unfathomable. But watching him stroke Willie’s tiny nose, she knew Finn cared for her son as if he’d been his.
Lily chastised herself. She needed to stop thinking of William as her son. Finn only ever called him their son. He’d never faltered on claiming William as his own. Why did Lily have such trouble?
Of course, she was pleased to have found such an amazing man who offered his name and home for their protection. And without any hint of blame or regret.
Lily needed to forgive herself for her na?ve mistake. And while she still thought of her folly with Reggie to be a mistake, she couldn’t regret it completely, for it had brought her not just William but Finn as well.
Her family.
Finally, she was important to someone. Even two someones.
“It seems strange that we cannot see him growing one day to the next, but then all at once you realize how much bigger he is than he’d been when he was first handed to me,” Finn said.
He seemed in constant awe of everything Willie did. Had she doubted his ability to love her child as his own? She was glad to have been wrong, for Finn clearly loved William.
“I think if we stared at him long enough, we would have to see it happening,” she said. She’d thought the same thing many times.
“Mayhap he grows only while we’re asleep.”
Lily laughed at that thought.
“We are in Scotland. Perhaps fairies come every night and switch him for a larger version,” she suggested with a smile.
Finn shook his head. She expected him to argue the possibilities of fairies, but instead he said, “Actually, we crossed over into England while you were napping.”
“I see.” She looked out the window as if expecting it to look different somehow. Or perhaps she expected all the members of the ton to be waiting to accuse her of having a light skirt.
But, of course, they wouldn’t be lurking here at the border. They would instead be waiting for her in London.
She felt her stomach twist at the thought.
Her face must have shown her unease for Finn reached out and placed his warm hand on her cold one.
“All will be well, Lily. You’ll see.”
She hoped he was right.
*
Granton House is immense , Lily thought even though she was no farther inside than the foyer. Peeking into the parlor to her left, she realized she was not wrong.
Not only was the home large, but it was very well decorated with beautiful paintings and fashionable furniture.
“Is there a music room in the house?” she asked.
“Of course. You don’t think I would bring you to a home with no instruments, do you? I might as well have forced you to live in Newgate,” he said with a grin. “I may have even ordered a new pianoforte as the other one had been here for some time. You will be the first to play it.”
Lily smiled up at her doting husband. “Thank you.”
He waved it off with a brush of his hand. “I did it for myself as much as you. I can’t have you playing for me on a ratty instrument, can I?”
The nurse carried William in. He was awake, his eyes wide.
“What do you think, Lord Haliday?” Finn asked, using their son’s title.
William looked at Finn and then held out his hand and leaned toward her husband. Finn gasped as he reached and pulled Willie into his arms.
“Did you see that, Lil? He reached for me.” Once again, Finn’s happy surprise warmed her heart. “Did you want me?” Obviously, the baby didn’t answer, but Finn looked up at her. “He wanted me to hold him.”
“Who wouldn’t?” she said, earning a wink from him.
“He must know I have fitted out the nursery with every imaginable thing. Shall we go take a look, sir?”
Lily followed them up to the third floor where a few carved wooden horses sat in greeting. The door opened into a large space.
“Dear Lord, Finn. What did you do?”
“He’s an earl, Lily, he can’t very well stare at the wall all day. He needs things.”
Lily would have argued he didn’t need quite so many things, but she knew there was no use. This was one of the ways Finn showed his love. In shelves of books and toys. In the downy soft blankets in the crib and the tiny jesters hanging from the ceiling in jaunty poses that swayed when she touched them.
Two smaller beds sat in alcoves as if awaiting the growing family he hoped to have.
“It is lovely.”
“That was my bed.” Finn pointed to the bed closest to the window. “And Junie slept over here. Much fun was had in this room. I hope you’ll be happy here,” he told the baby who seemed to look around, taking it all in with drooping eyes.
“I believe someone is ready to make use of his bed already.”
Lily took him and swayed him in her arms as he snuggled close and shut his eyes. It was only a matter of minutes before he was out and tucked into his tiny bed.
Finn gave the jesters a push and wrapped his arm around her as he led her out. “Do you wish to see our bed chamber?”
“If there are no happy jesters hanging from the ceiling, I don’t know what point there is,” she teased.
“No jesters, but I’ll see you don’t grow bored when lying in our bed.” He leaned down and kissed her neck, right below her ear. It was strange how quickly he could make her body respond.
Only a moment ago she’d thought a nap would be divine after their travels, but now, sleep was the furthest thing from her mind.
“Show me,” she whispered.
He led her down the stairs and to the double doors at the end of the hall. The room was done similar to their room at Gealach . The duchess’s chamber was through a door, though like in Scotland, she didn’t think she’d ever use it.
Not when the duke’s bed was so large and inviting.
He swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bed.
“Was that necessary?” she asked.
“You were taking too long.” He began shrugging off his coat followed by his waistcoat. When she’d not moved to her own clothing, he tilted his head to the side. “Must I do everything?” His wide smile made her laugh as she worked to loosen her gown.
By then he was already disrobed and helping her with her stays and stockings, having thrown the half boots over his head to thump on the thick carpeted floor.
When she was naked, he slowed down and leaned down to kiss her.
“Welcome to London, Your Grace.”
“Why thank you, Your Grace.”