Chapter Thirty-Seven
L ily hovered at the top of the stairs, unsure of what to do.
Finn would be leaving for a duel in a few hours and she needed to find some way to stop him.
She didn’t know much about dueling, but to know it was the way honorable men handled a perceived slight. But Reggie was not honorable.
The door to the study opened and Finn’s friends came out, muttering to themselves.
“The duchess is a lovely woman, don’t get me wrong, but no woman is worth this kind of trouble. No matter how beautiful.”
Shay was right. She wasn’t worth this risk.
“Are you going to call it off?” she asked, hurrying down the steps to intercept them. “Were you able to talk him out of this?”
“Nay. There’s no talking Finn out of something he’d decided to do.”
“Stubborn Scot. What if he is killed?” she fretted.
“You’ll be fine enough, being the mother of his heir.”
Lily tilted her head to the side. Did they not know the truth?
“He didn’t tell you the reason for the duel?”
“Nay,” Shay said, almost seeming surprised she would ask. “He called on us and we’ll stand by him. We don’t need to know the reason.”
Reese leaned a bit closer to her to whisper, “I do wonder. Did he catch the two of you—”
“Of course not! I would never be unfaithful to my husband.”
“I told ye, dunderhead. She’s not that way. And Finn would have had the man strung up by his balls without the formality of a duel.”
“Very well. I can’t say I’m not curious as to what would bring Finn to this step. He’s generally reasonable. But we must be off, we need to find a surgeon.”
“A surgeon?” Lily felt faint and sat on the step so she wouldn’t fall over.
“What is wrong with ye, Reese? You don’t say such a thing to a lady.”
“Sorry, Your Grace. I’m sure he’ll be fine. He’s a good shot.”
Lily thought of something she needed them to know. If this was going to happen, she wanted them armed with as much knowledge as possible.
“He might try to cheat.”
Both sets of eyes came back to her looking confused.
“Mr. Flockton, not Finn. The man is a liar and a cheat. Watch him closely.”
“Aye. We will,” Shay promised.
“And gentlemen?” she said, her voice failing her as tears welled and streamed down her cheeks. “Please make sure my husband comes home.”
They’d made their empty promises before leaving for their gruesome task of finding a surgeon. Still, she couldn’t just sit there hoping for the best.
Going to the duchess’ chambers she’d yet to sleep in, she went to the escritoire and penned a note, allowing the words to flow from her heart through her pen.
She left it on the table next to the bed where she and Finn had planned to spend the night wrapped in each other’s arms.
She could not bear to just sit there waiting to hear word of the outcome of the duel. If Finn was killed, she would not withstand the weight of that guilt on top of all the rest. She would surely be crushed.
Finn had taken this on because of her. He’d taken on so much more because of her. She’d been a fool to think he would not one day resent her for it. Well, that day seemed to be tonight. She would no longer be something he must fix. She wouldn’t be his burden.
Rushing up to the nursery, she and Sara bundled up a sleeping William and went down the back stairs and out to the stables to find the coachman. Soon enough they were on their way to the one place she’d never felt welcome but hoped she would this night.
The butler opened the door on her knock and frowned.
“Please. I know it is late, but I must see my sister. It cannot wait. Please tell Martha I am here.”
*
Finn’s anger had fled somewhere between the fifth glass of whisky and Shay taking the bottle away.
“You’ll need to be able to stand if you plan on dueling,” the large man said.
“Not to mention his wits,” Reese added in.
“Nay, wits are nay needed for dueling,” Shay argued. “Wits just get in the way of it.”
Finn wanted to ask him how many duels he’d been in, but if it were even one it would be more than Finn. What had he done?
Mayhap the more important question would be why had he done it?
It was easy enough to say it had been to protect Lily’s reputation. To protect William from gossip. But Lily had been right. It had been his pride. Seeing that arrogant arse call William his son and knowing it was true had brought Finn’s blood to boiling.
Finn was William’s father. Finn was Lily’s husband. And that weasel planned to ruin everything they’d built together. A family. His family.
“Go and change.”
“Does it matter what I’m wearing?” Finn looked down at himself. “If I end up dead I’ll already be in my finest.”
“You’ll not end up dead if you go change into something that allows more motion than these bindings. Can ye even get out of that coat without your valet?”
Only if he wanted to ruin it in the process.
With a sigh, he stood and headed for the door.
“Shirtsleeves and a waistcoat would be best,” Shay ordered as Finn took the stairs. In his room, Finn noticed the note before he’d the chance to call Thomas to help him change.
He opened it slowly almost expecting what the words would say. He wasn’t wrong.
Finn,
I’m beyond sorry for everything. It seems my ill luck has spread even to those who were trying to help me. I never wanted to be a burden. I never wanted you to resent William and I for our pasts. I’m sorry it has come to that. And worse that you would put yourself in danger for us. I cannot bear it, to see you hurt or worse because of us.
William and I have gone. You can petition for divorce, and move on with your life without us darkening your name or the title.
I knew it was selfish to take your offer of marriage. But being with you was more than I could resist. Even so, I will not see a good man hurt for my selfish recklessness.
I know you think I married you because I had no other options. And it is true my options were quite limited. But it’s important that you know my situation is not the only reason I agreed to marry you. I would have said yes even if my future had not looked so grim. Obviously, William was the reason you asked, but he was not the reason I said yes. I agreed simply because I wanted to be with you. I will always cherish the time I spent with you.
Please call off the duel. I will take care of my own messes from here.
Forever grateful,
Lily
“Forever grateful?” Finn nearly choked. He’d never wanted her to be grateful. He’d only done what was right. Except he wasn’t sure that was true.
He’d been selfish as well. He’d found a woman who made him smile and laugh when both of those things had been beyond him for more than a year. She’d made him happy and he’d stepped up because he’d wanted to be with her.
He’d claimed her not because she was without options but because he’d wanted her. And then he’d allowed his anger to poison everything between them.
He went to the room next to theirs and found it empty. The jewels he’d given her were sitting on the dressing table.
Leaving the room, he considered going upstairs to the nursery, but knew finding it empty would crush him. Instead, he went down to the study where his friends were pacing.
“I thought you were going to change,” Shay complained.
“I don’t need to change. I’m going to fire wide, Flockton will see that and fire wide himself and it will be over.”
“A moment ago, you wanted him dead? Not that you told us what information he planned to use to blackmail you.”
“A moment ago, I hadn’t read the note Lily wrote telling me she left me and expects me to seek a divorce.”
They both gasped in shock. Reese was the one to say, “Why?”
He’d not planned to tell them. He wanted the secret to die with Flockton. But with no permanent ending to the duel, he didn’t know what the weasel would do. If Lily was strong enough to bear the rumors, Finn would not fail her. He would be strong as well.
But he would rather his friends knew the truth rather than hear it from others.
“William is not my blood. He is Flockton’s. But he is my son in every way.”
“Did Lily trick you into thinking he was yours?” Reese asked. Handsome and rich as Reese was, he was the constant target of title-hunting ladies. It was not a surprise he would think such a thing.
“Ye are going to end up on the dueling field for saying such,” Shay said. “Of course, she didn’t trick him. She’s not that way. Ye saw the way she looked at Finn. She’s in love with him.”
“Of course,” Reese said quickly. “My apologies.”
“She didn’t trick me. Flockton left her after promising marriage. I found her sitting on the steps of a tavern with more than a dozen drunkards planning to make things worse for her. I brought her with me to save her, but in truth she saved me. And then we learned she was with child and it gave me a reason to offer for her. But William is my son in every way but one, is that clear?”
“You’ll never hear any different from us. And we’ll stand by ye when you call Flockton a liar.”
“I’m sure he is on his way to America as we speak. But if not, let’s go and make sure he knows the three of us plan to denounce his claims. He’ll be made a fool and it should keep his tongue still enough,” Reese said while straightening his coat.
Finn really did have the best friends. And the best family.
“And when this is over you can go find your lass and set things right with her.”
“She thinks she’s a burden. And I didn’t do anything to dispel her of such a thing. I was angry and said things…”
“Then you will say better things. Say the most important thing to get her back.”
Finn nodded and handed the case of pistols to Shay who had the poor luck of being Finn’s second. At least, there would be no blood spilled this day.