Chapter 43
Chapter Forty-Three
Travis shuts the front door of his house behind us a while later. The sound echoes through the hallway as I scan every corner of this place I don’t ever want to be away from again. Why does it feel like I’ve been gone for years? Cooper and Buddy sure feel that way, seeing how they ambushed me as soon as my feet touched the driveway moments ago.
Travis notices me watching them through the window. “They missed you too.”
“Don’t say that unless you want me to burst into tears.” I’m only half-joking.
“Would never want that. Come here, beautiful.”
Travis holds out his hand for me. After he pulls me into his chest, he presses a soft kiss to my inner wrist, desire glinting in his eyes.
We don’t speak. The passion in his gaze, the tenderness of his touch, the trust we’ve built together—they tell me everything I need to know.
This man who grunted at me the first time we met, who installed an extra lock on my apartment door without me having to ask, who made friendship bracelets with me, who opened up about his past, who offered me a safe haven when I needed it the most—he was always meant to be mine. And I, his. Irrevocably.
My mouth meets his. Gentle at first, and then hungry at once. His big hands cover nearly the entire span of my lower back when he pulls me closer, and that one detail sends my body into overdrive.
Some people might think I’m weird if they read my mind right now, but the fact that Travis is so huge all over makes me short of breath. I don’t know what it is exactly—that he’s so intimidatingly large, nobody would look at me the wrong way if he’s near, that he’s so strong, he could protect me from anything, that it’s just… him. All of those combined.
Now, as he kisses me in the middle of the hallway, I wonder if he’d be big in other places too.
And if I should tell him I’m freaking out about it.
“Travis,” I mutter as I pull away. Suddenly my shortness of breath doesn’t have to do with how good he makes me feel.
“Mm…” He brushes his nose against mine before pecking my lips once softly.
I hesitate. What if he thinks I’m lame?
He pulls away a little further, a notch forming between his brows. “Did I do something?”
“It’s not that. It’s not you at all.”
“What’s wrong, then?”
I’m being dumb. I know that. But the words get stuck in my throat until Travis, this patient man who has chosen me despite everything, squeezes my waist. And then he says in a gentle voice, “We’re a team now. Whatever is worrying you concerns me too.”
Despite feeling like my cheeks are on fire, I confess, “It’s just that I’ve never done this before. I don’t mean kissing, obviously, but what comes after that.”
Why can’t I say the word sex ? Very mature of me.
Travis tilts his head in a way that shouldn’t look so adorable. “Sex?”
There it is.
“Yeah.” My face is officially flaming hot. “I’ve never done it.”
“All right,” he says calmly. “That’s something you’re worried about?”
“I’m just nervous. I mean, I kind of thought for a second there that you’d find it lame, but that was just me self-sabotaging.”
My therapist says I tend to do that a lot, so it doesn’t surprise me that the tendency makes an appearance during an intimate moment.
“Allie, you’re the furthest thing from lame.” His voice turns serious. “Your life wasn’t exactly normal. But even if it had been, being a virgin isn’t something to be ashamed of. You hear me?”
My throat is dry. “I hear you.”
He rests his forehead against mine, one of his hands traveling the length of my spine until it settles around my neck in a loose grip. “We don’t have to do anything, today or ever.”
I find myself shaking my head, breathless. “I need you, Travis. I want to do this now.”
His nose grazes mine, his grip on my neck tightening in a way that doesn’t feel restrictive but deliciously possessive. And when he presses his front against mine and I feel his rock-hard bulge against my stomach, my head becomes void of all thoughts but the blind need to have him.
His voice is raspy when he says, “You’re killing me, sweetheart.”
“I’m not doing anything,” I whisper.
“You standing there, looking at me, fucking breathing , is enough to drive me insane.”
My head spins. Travis is so huge, so imposing, so capable of being tender and rough, a part of me wonders if I should feel at least a little intimidated right now. And I do feel somewhat nervous, but Travis… There’s simply not a world where I feel incapable, uncomfortable, or insecure if he’s with me.
My mouth finds his again, and I let go of the what-ifs, of the nerves swirling in my stomach, and focus on how good his hands on my body feel as he effortlessly hoists me up.
Before I know it, we’re moving. I don’t stop kissing him to see where we’re going because there’s no place I wouldn’t want to be if he’s there.
My fingers tangle in his short hair, and I hear him opening a door. My mouth descends on his neck, earning me a shiver, and I hear him shutting the door behind us. When I open my eyes, moonlight filters through the curtains of the one bedroom in this house I’d never been in until tonight—his.
Travis sits on the edge of his mattress with me straddling him as I shamelessly look around. A king-sized bed, one nightstand, the same wooden wardrobe I have in my bedroom, and an ajar door, which I’m assuming is the bathroom.
“Like what you see?” His voice is teasing, but his gestures are tender as he places a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“You’re not a fan of pictures on the walls, are you?” I tease him back, eyeing the empty space.
“I didn’t have anything worth putting up on my bedroom walls before,” he says, his voice low. His hand moves from my ear to cradle the nape of my neck. “Now I do.”
“You’re going to plaster my face all over your walls?”
“Sure, but I’d rather have the real you sleeping in my bed every night.”
“Deal. I’d need my own nightstand, though. I need a place to keep my bedside water bottle and e-reader.”
“I’ll build you one with my bare hands if you want me to.”
I chuckle, hugging him around his neck. He hugs me back, pulling me closer. “No need to build it with your own hands, although that would be sexy.”
“Sexy, huh?”
“It’s just…” I take advantage of the fact that my face is buried in his neck, and he can’t see how furiously I’m blushing. “Your hands.”
“My hands,” he repeats. I can hear his smirk.
“Yeah.”
“What about them?”
“They’re hot,” I admit.
He chuckles, and I can’t help but think being this happy and playful suits him. So much.
“You think my hands are hot, sweetheart?”
“Very,” I whisper.
“Mm…” The heathen moves them so they’re resting on my hips. And then he squeezes. “You think it’s hot if I do that?”
The muscles in my lower area squeeze too. How can I be all hot and bothered already?
“Yes,” I breathe out. “I love how big and strong they are.”
“Let me tell you a secret,” he whispers in my ear. His voice no longer sounds playful but charged with heat. “These hands can make you feel good too. Want me to show you?”
As soon as I say a perhaps-too-desperate yes, they travel from my waist to my sides. Up, up, up, and then he stops.
“Can I?” he asks.
I nod, my throat too dry to speak.
“Are you sure?” he insists.
I don’t answer. Instead, I cover his hands with mine and move them slowly, tentatively, until they’re holding my breasts. Travis’s breath hitches as he stares at my chest, and a sudden burst of confidence boosts through me. It’s me causing him to have this reaction.
“Fuck, baby,” he grunts. The bulge in his pants becomes all the more evident when he shifts under me. “You can’t do this to me.”
I move again, watching how his hands swallow me up. Gently, as if he wants to revel in every touch.
“Travis,” I breathe out when I can’t take it any longer. “Take it off.”
His eyes collide with mine. “You sure?”
“Yes. I want to feel you against my skin.”
He curses under his breath.
My fingers move with urgency as I help him take off my sweater, then the T-shirt I’m wearing underneath until I’m only in my bra. Travis curses under his breath again before his mouth descends to the valley between my breasts. His open-mouthed kisses on my bare skin leave me panting, begging.
In the midst of my wanting, I still manage to taunt him by pulling the straps of my bra down my shoulders at a torturous pace, then a little further until only my nipples are covered. He grunts, a borderline animalistic sound I can’t help but chuckle at, only for my laugh to get cut off when he pulls my bra down completely and sucks one of my nipples into his mouth.
I gasp at the sensation. It feels strange at first but so good soon after. His groans mix with my whimpers as he switches from one nipple to the other, showing both the same hungry attention.
My hands claw at the hem of his shirt, desperate to take it off and feel his skin against mine. He obeys, pulling back enough to get himself naked from the waist up, before he kisses my skin again.
Shamelessly, I run my hands over his impressive upper body, the warm and rough planes of his chest I’d never seen until now. “I feel like I’m going insane. I need you so badly.”
He grunts, burying his face in my neck. “Are you wet for me already?”
My heart hammers. Nobody has ever spoken to me like that, and I never expected such words to light me on fire.
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Can I feel it?”
I nod.
“Use your words, sweetheart.”
“Yes.” My voice is charged with heat. “Touch me, Travis. Please.”
A pleased groan leaves the back of his throat. “That’s my girl.”
In one swift move, he places me on his mattress. Travis hovers over my half-naked body, his bare chest so imposing, I can’t help but run my hands down it. My fingers are met with hard, hairy skin, and it’s the hottest sight I’ve ever laid my eyes on. He is.
Wordlessly, he grabs the hem of my leggings and pulls them down. He keeps his eyes on me, watching for any clue that he should stop. And I love him for it, but stopping is the very last thing on my mind.
Cursing under his breath when he sees my half-naked body lying before him, he leans down and plants a kiss on my stomach. Then another, lower.
“Have you ever been touched before?” he asks in a husky voice. When I shake my head, he mutters, “Fucking hell.”
Nerves swirl in my stomach. “Is that a problem for you?”
“Far from a problem,” he rasps. “I’m trying not to come in my pants like a fucking teenager, just from thinking I’ll be the first and the last man to touch you.”
I arch my back at his words, craving his touch, as a heavy breath falls from my lips. As always, Travis gives me what I need.
Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t suppress the moan that escapes when his finger caresses my covered center. It’s a faint touch, barely there, but enough to set me off.
He grunts, applying more pressure. I don’t hold back as my sounds of pleasure echo through the empty house. He runs circles with his middle finger on my most sensitive spot, still covered by my underwear, chasing my whimpers. I’ve never felt freer, or happier to be out of control.
“I need to touch you.” There’s a desperate edge to his voice. “I need to sink my fingers inside that tight little pussy, then my cock, or I’ll go fucking insane.”
God.
My back arches again, and I nod rapidly, begging him to do those things. And do them now .
Despite his urgency, he’s gentle as he moves my underwear aside, baring me to him completely. Yet I don’t feel one bit self-conscious about it because this is Travis. This is the love of my life.
When his middle finger breaks through my folds, I lose all sense of reality for an instant. Instead of pain, I’m met with an overwhelming sense of relief and desire I’ve never experienced before. And when he starts pumping his finger in and out, slowly, his curses mixing with my moans, something inside of me snaps .
“More,” I beg him, my back arched and breaths uneven.
“You want another finger?”
I shake my head. “I need you .”
He throws his head back, grunting, “Allie.”
My hands reach for his belt buckle, and he eases his finger out of me so he can undo it himself. He gets out of bed and drags his pants and underwear down his strong legs as I watch with nervous excitement.
The sight of Travis fully naked stops my breathing altogether. If I thought he would be big, it’s nothing compared to the real thing. His generous inches stand proudly against his stomach, and I gulp. I need him badly, but I’m not so sure I can take him.
Travis reads my mind.
“I’ll be gentle,” he promises, and I know he means it, but…
“That’s…” Too big. Huge. I gulp again. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but what the hell, Travis?”
His low chuckle sends a thrill through me. “Way to boost my ego.”
“I’m just telling the truth.”
He climbs over the bed again and presses a soft kiss on my lips. “We’ll go at your pace. Do you trust me?”
My nerves ease at that. “Always.”
He kisses me again slowly, helping me relax. And it works. Because within seconds, I’m writhing under him, his stiff member between us, and I can’t wait any longer.
“I’m ready,” I whisper against his lips.
“You sure?”
“I trust you, Travis. And I want you to make me feel good.”
He grunts. “Condom.”
Right. We probably should use one, but I find myself shaking my head instead. “Can we go without it?”
Another grunt, this time buried in my neck. His hips buck against my middle. “Allie.”
“We can use one if you want to,” I’m quick to say. “I just wanted…I want…”
He nips at the sensitive skin behind my ear. “Tell me.”
“I want to feel you without any barriers between us. Is that okay? I tested negative.”
“Me too. Are you on the pill?” When I nod, his hips meet my center again, as if he couldn’t help himself. “All right. I’ll pull out just in case.”
He pecks my lips softly, easing the nervous rhythm of my heart.
Time stops when I feel his thick head penetrating my entrance. Wet sounds fill the silence, followed by our heavy breathing. He pushes inside of me a little further, gently and slowly, as he promised, and I lose all sense of reason.
“Deep breaths, sweetheart,” he instructs, sounding like he’s struggling to breathe too. “Let me fill you up.”
I do as he says, finding that it hurts a little before the pain transforms into pleasure.
“That’s it. Keep taking deep breaths for me,” he praises. “You’re taking my cock so well.”
By the time he buries himself inside of me to the hilt, I’m a mess. I’ve never known a deeper or a more intense pleasure. Not like this. I feel full in ways I didn’t know were possible. And when he starts moving inside me, my wetness coating his every inch, a flame lights up inside my chest.
Moaning, I beg him to go faster. Harder. He’s hesitant at first, saying he doesn’t want to hurt me, so I start using his shaft as I please, moving up and down on it to prove a point.
That throws him over the edge. He grabs one of his pillows and places it under my lower back, angling my body in a higher position. He grabs my hips, pounding in and out of me at a punishing rhythm. Soon, the only sounds filling the room are our moans and the slapping of our bodies coming together.
I can’t stop staring at him. His lips are parted, frowning, as he watches himself ease in and out of me. He looks so powerful right now, so raw and manly and primal , a powerful wave crashes through my body, and I know I’m close.
“Come for me, sweetheart,” he demands as his finger starts rubbing circles on my center. “Soak my cock.”
A physical reaction I don’t fully understand takes over me, and suddenly I feel like I’m falling. My mouth opens, but no sounds come out. My back arches, taking him deeper, and I’m hit by such a strong wave of pleasure that I lose my breath.
Travis pulls out in time to come all over my stomach with a heavy grunt. He fists his length, pumping it until he empties out on my skin. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
“ Holy fuck ,” he grunts when he’s done. “ Fuck . I went too hard. I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
I shake my head. “You were perfect, Travis. It was perfect.”
He leans down to kiss me on the lips. “I love you, Allie. So much. You’re my life.”
His words squeeze my heart. “And you’re mine.”
I sleep in his bed for the first time that night, with one of his arms protectively wrapped around me. The first of forever.