Chapter 22
An ice-blue morning spread over the Highlands.
Skye watched the frost and dew glimmer on the grass from high up in her bedroom. Leaning forward, she breathed on the glass, watching it fog under her breath. She lifted her finger to draw on it, an old childhood habit, then paused.
What should she draw? What should she write?
In the end, she let her hand fall, and the fog faded from the glass.
Below, mist curled out of the forest, covering the courtyard. There was much more outside the keep walls, where the ground was damp and open, than inside.
We’ll travel through that mist, she thought, swallowing hard. I’m going home.
Those three words ought to make her so happy. She should feel relieved and excited. She was going home, and she would be free. Her marriage would be annulled. It would be like it had never happened.
But it has happened.
A tap on the door made her flinch.
She turned around to see Susan standing there, twisting her hands together miserably.
“It’s time, me Lady,” Susan murmured unhappily. “Lady Helena is already in the litter. They’re all ready to go.”
“I see. I’m packed up, am I nae? Did I forget anything?”
“Nae that I can think of. We… We can always send it to ye afterwards, if we find anything.”
Skye gave a brittle smile. “Aye, of course.”
She picked up her cloak, the same dark blue one that Evander had bought her, and draped it around her shoulders. She wore her blue pearl dress, too. It seemed appropriate, somehow.
She’d left the red dress in her wardrobe. Every time she laid eyes on it, she would think of Evander. Of his large hands, warm on her body. Of the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed or smiled sincerely. The taste of his lips, the scratch of his stubble.
I cannae take those thoughts with me when I go back to Keep MacCrimmon. They’ll only bother me.
Clearing her throat, she crossed the room toward Susan and wordlessly enfolded her in her arms.
“Thank ye for everything ye have done for me,” she whispered. “Ye are a kind lass and an excellent maid.”
Susan sniffled. “I’ll miss ye, me Lady. We all will. We… We were excited to have a Lady Bryden, ye ken.”
“Well, ye still might have one. It just willnae be me.”
The two women broke apart.
Susan sniffled, offering a false bright smile.
“I’m sure ye are as happy as anything to be going home, me Lady,” she said, with a firmness that didn’t brook contradiction.
“Now, shall we get ye downstairs and safe in the litter? It’ll be a comfortable, relaxing trip, and then ye will be home again. There’s no place like home, eh?”
“No place like home,” Skye echoed.
They walked quietly through the keep and out into the courtyard. The litter awaited, the curtains pinned back and the door hanging open. Dread coiled in Skye’s gut.
I daenae want to go in there. Is it too late to ride?
Soldiers gathered, ready to escort them, shifting from foot to foot to ward off the cold. It was still too dark to put out the torches in the courtyard.
A figure detached itself from the shadow of the wall, moving toward her. Skye’s heart leaped for a moment.
Evander?
“Me Lady?” came Leah’s voice. “I came to say goodbye. I… I heard that ye were leaving.”
Skye swallowed her ungrateful disappointment and made herself smile. “Aye, I’m going back to Keep MacCrimmon. Evander thinks it’s best.”
“Do ye think it’s best?”
She flinched at the bold question. “Does it matter?”
“I reckon it does.”
Skye didn’t answer. Instead, she turned, staring up at the keep.
At this hour of the morning, many people would still be asleep. The councilmen, for instance, would still be snoring in their beds. Lower servants would be up, getting the fires ready, scrubbing the grates, and preparing breakfast. Luckier, more senior servants might get to sleep longer.
Skye could sleep as long as she liked once she got home.
Will Hunter be pleased to see me, or will he consider that I’ve failed? What about the others in the keep? They’ll all ken what’s happened. Will I be damaged goods? A crazy woman with half of her memories gone? Or will I simply be Skye again, a talkative spinster who speaks too sharply?
Leah darted forward, dragging her into a tight hug.
“Thank ye for speaking up for Mason,” she whispered. “He… He adores ye, really. I ken ye wouldnae believe it.”
“He was always me friend,” Skye murmured. “I cannae forget what he did, but I understand it.”
Leah pulled back, misty-eyed. “I didnae ken. Ye must believe me. I had no idea what was happening or what danger ye were in. Mason acted strangely once ye had gone, but I thought it was just worry, fear that ye were being hurt. I—”
“It’s all right,” Skye soothed, placing a hand on her arm. “Daenae blame yerself. I certainly daenae, and nor does Evander. Laird Bryden,” she corrected, reddening. He wouldn’t be Evander to her now, would he?
A tall man stepped out of the keep doorway. Skye turned to face him, her heart leaping.
He’s come to stay goodbye, after all. Or maybe even to tell me that he’s changed his mind, that—
The light fell on Fergus’s red hair, and Skye’s stomach plummeted.
“Time to go, me Lady,” he said gently, regarding her with something like sympathy. “Ye have a long journey ahead of ye. Yer braither is expecting ye, and he’ll worry if ye are late.”
Skye clenched her jaw. “I’ll say goodbye to Evander first. Where is he? Why hasnae he come down?”
Fergus bit his lip, glancing away.
He’s been expecting this question, Skye realized. And he hasnae been looking forward to it.
“I daenae believe that Laird Bryden is coming down,” he said.
Skye blinked. “Surely nae. Surely he cannae be so cowardly.”
“It’s nae cowardice. He’s a busy man. The prospect of war drives lairds into early graves, remember? Maybe that’s something ye should bear in mind when ye get back to yer clan. War does nobody any good.”
Skye took a moment to compose herself.
“I see,” she said.
“I can fetch him for ye, if ye have something to say to him.”
“I have nothing to say,” she snapped. “I’ll write to him.”
At that moment, a black-furred blur came streaking out of the keep, meowing wildly.
Skye’s heart fluttered in relief.
“Oh, thank God,” she breathed. “I couldnae find Blackberry this morning. I thought I’d have to leave without—” She broke off, glancing up at Fergus’s impassive face. “Never mind. I’m taking the cat, obviously. I’m sure Evander willnae mind.”
“I’m sure he willnae,” Fergus murmured gently.
She bent down, pulling the cat into her arms. Blackberry purred, butting her soft forehead against Skye’s chin.
“Well, goodbye, then.”
No sense in dragging it out. The longer she waited, the more likely it was that she would do something to shame herself, like bursting into tears or running back into the keep to find Evander and confront him.
Instead, keeping her back straight and her head high, she turned to the litter, clambering inside without allowing herself so much as a glance back up at the keep. The door closed behind her, and the latch clicked.
Helena was already inside, a blanket pulled over her knees. She eyed her daughter curiously.
“This is unexpected,” she remarked. “I was only told that Laird Bryden wants ye to return home and that he would annul the wedding. I asked if ye had done something wrong, since he was the one who asked for the annulment, but apparently nae. Apparently, Laird Bryden wants ye to be safe and doesnae believe that ye will be safe here.”
“Aye, that’s the long and short of it,” Skye responded bitterly.
Despite her cloak, the cold had seeped into her bones. Her teeth began to chatter, and she seized a blanket, pulling it over her lap. With a lurch, the litter moved forward.
They were off.
Through the curtains, she watched the gates pass by, being replaced by mist-shrouded forests.
I’m really leaving.
Blackberry crawled into her lap, meowing. Skye bit the inside of her cheek, trying to compose herself.
“Skye, pet, what’s wrong?” Helena whispered, leaning forward.
The last of Skye’s composure shattered. She burst into tears.
“Oh, Maither, I didnae want to go,” she wept. “I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay with him.”
Wordlessly, Helena shifted to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.
“I ken, love. I ken,” she whispered. “Do ye ken how this happened?”
“Oh, it’s nae so complicated,” Skye sniffed. “He doesnae want me.”
“Think of it this way, love. Ye will get a fresh start. Back at home, ye will be surrounded by people who love ye. Ye can marry again, if ye choose. Soon, ye will forget there was ever a man called Laird Bryden.”
Skye said nothing, simply resting her head on her mother’s shoulder and waiting for her tears to subside.
I willnae forget him. I cannae.
The litter and its convoy rattled out through the gates. Evander watched until the mist swallowed them all up.
Even after they had disappeared, he stared for a bit longer, watching the mist swirl. Then he let the curtain drop.
Behind him, Fergus appeared in the doorway. Evander knew it was him without looking; Fergus always avoided the first creaking floorboard over the threshold but rarely remembered the second.
“They’re gone,” Fergus murmured.
“I can see that.”
Silence.
For a moment, Evander thought that his friend had vanished. Then Fergus cleared his throat.
“Ye should have come down to say goodbye. She was waiting for ye.”
Evander closed his eyes. “It’s best that I didnae.”
“Best for whom?”
He rounded on his friend, crossing the room in three strides and seizing him by the collar.
“Daenae ye dare, Fergus,” he hissed. “I’ve had just about all I can take for today; I can tell ye that. Letting her go is—” He broke off.
Letting her go is the hardest thing I have ever done.
He released Fergus’s collar, stepping back and breathing heavily.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Ye didnae deserve that.”
Fergus made no move to smooth his crumpled shirt. He only furrowed his brow, eyeing Evander.
“Leah came to say goodbye. Some of the servants did, too. The mood in the keep is somber. Lady Bryden will be missed. And now that her memories are returning, she—”
“When her memories return, she’ll remember exactly what place I held in her affections. That is, none,” Evander interrupted tartly. “Fergus, lad, I daenae ken whether ye are trying to help me or scold me—”
“Both, I reckon.”
“—but enough is enough. I daenae want to speak about her.”
“She’s yer wife, me Laird. That subject is hard to avoid.”
He closed his eyes momentarily. “The marriage will be annulled. She deserves a fresh start.”
Fergus shifted his weight, folding his arms. “And what about ye, me Laird? What do ye deserve?”
“Me? Nae much.”
“Oh, come off it.”
“She deserves everything.” Evander stabbed bitterly at the window in the direction where Skye had disappeared. “She deserves the world. At the very least, happiness, a loving husband, a safe home, a family. And I cannae give those things to her.”
“And why nae?”
“Why nae?! Because me family is cursed! Me faither ruined our reputation in the Highlands. His blood flows in me veins. Maybe I’m as faithless as he is.”
“Or maybe ye arenae. Ye are too hard on yerself, me Laird.”
“Enough, Fergus. Please. I’m too tired for this. Sending her away was the right thing to do. She deserves better.”
Fergus took a step forward. “The very reason ye say ye have sent her away—that she deserves better—proves that ye ought to keep her here. That’s the reason why ye deserve that woman. It’s why ye deserve happiness, me Laird.”
Evander closed his eyes briefly. “I daenae want to discuss this anymore. Call a council meeting, Fergus. I have no time for love affairs. I have a traitor to catch.”