Chapter 8
Ava could feel the boy’s steady breath brush her shoulder as she made her way to his room. As soon as she stepped inside, she handed him to his nursemaid.
“Thank ye, Nancy. Please kiss him goodnight for me,” she murmured.
“Aye, me Lady.” The nursemaid smiled, cradling the boy.
Nathan let out a soft snore, before the door closed.
Ava sagged against the wall, exhaustion sinking into her bones.
Though, if she must be honest, it was not because her day was so busy.
But the fact that her husband was waiting for her, right now, it made something in her stomach flip.
She could not decide if that was a good or a bad thing.
But given the fact that she had felt the same flip when he was laughing with Nathan, it was definitely dangerous.
“What are ye doing?” Finlay asked as he rounded the corner.
“Ach! Ye frightened me, ye old coo!” She swatted his arm.
Finlay let out a light chuckle.
His eyes softened, and he began to wring his fingers. It was a nervous habit he had had since childhood.
“Can we go out for a walk tomorrow?” he asked, staring down at the floor.
“I’m not sure there’s anything more to discuss, Finlay. I daenae blame ye anymore, ye ken? I shouldnae have accepted yer proposal in the first place. It was selfish of me to expect ye to save me.” Before he got a chance to reply, she started walking away.
“Where are ye going?” Finlay called after her.
“To the man I actually married,” she called over her shoulder.
Quick footsteps sounded behind her. Finlay caught her hand, and she looked back at him.
“Please, Ava, I’d like a chance to properly explain,” he begged.
She pursed her lips and considered for a long moment.
“All right, but please daenae feel like ye have to. I understand.”
Finlay shook his head.
“Meet me at the front door after breakfast. I daenae want to deal with ye while ye’re sleepy and starving.” He grinned and turned to head toward his bedchambers. “Goodnight, me Lady.” He winked and slipped behind the door.
Ava sighed, her limbs heavy with fatigue once more. She was not ready to face her husband. She should just tell him that tonight might not be a good night to…. Well, if he would accept such an answer.
She rubbed at the pounding in her temples.
Ye can do it, Ava. It’s just yer husband. Yer very dangerous, very handsome husband. Ye can face him.
Encouraging herself only got her so far. She now had to act. She started walking. The sound of her footsteps echoed off the walls as she made her way back to the sitting room, where Caden was waiting for her.
The moment she stepped inside, the air grew thick and heavy with tension. The pounding in her temples grew worse. She winced.
“Are ye well?” Caden stood as she entered the room, his brow creased in concern.
“Yer nephew is very energetic,” she laughed. “I’m exhausted. He’s run me through to the bone.”
She took the seat across from him and closed her eyes.
“How?” Caden asked.
“How what? How am I tired? Looking after a toddler is nay easy task, me Laird. It is why ye brought me in, after all,” she quipped.
“Nae that.” He sighed through his nose. “How… how did ye get him to trust ye?”
Ava cracked open one eye to see the sincere look on her husband’s face.
Ach.
“Well, maybe because I play with him instead of setting rules for him, me Laird.” She flung an arm over her eyes, not caring that she was being rude.
“Ye had better nae speak about things ye ken nothing about, lass,” he warned.
“Oh, must I? I ken nothing about anything, huh?” Ava bolted upright, letting her anger take over. “Well, the wee lad sure doesnae ken ye; I can tell ye that free of charge. I can tell that ye daenae care to get to ken him or spend time with him unless he begs!”
Caden looked down at her with something akin to resentment in his brown eyes. “Careful, lass. Ye ken nothin’ about me family,” he spat.
“Actually, it’s our family now.” She held up one finger and then another to emphasize her point. “Second, I reckon I’ve spent more time with Nathan today than ye have his whole life!”
“I daenae need to hear this from ye.” He turned to leave, but then called over his shoulder, “I told ye to obey me.”
“Ye daenae give me orders, me Laird, so I have nothin’ to obey. Besides, I’m free to do as I please, am I nae?” She flung a leg over the arm of her chair and sank deeper into the cushions.
She threw her hand over her face, ready for a long nap. Her husband could go sulk, for all she cared.
Caden crossed the room in two strides. He gently pulled her wrist from her face, forcing her to look at him. Her breath caught in her throat.
She waited in silence, unsure what to do next. Her head and heart were pounding in sync, and the room started to spin.
The right side of his face twitched under his mask, and she realized he was chewing on his cheek. Her wrist tingled where he touched it. She was acutely aware of every sensation in her body.
He grabbed her chin with his other hand, pulling her face closer to his.
They were now a breath apart, and her mouth went dry.
She expected him to kiss her then. His eyes were on her lower lip, following a trail that his thumb was making.
Her skin burned where he touched, but somehow she wanted more.
Maybe if he kissed her…She realized that she wished to taste him, even though she’d never admit it out loud.
But maybe if he kissed her that weird flip in her stomach every time she looked at him would go away.
He was breathing as hard as her now, she could feel his breath fanning her face. If she moved just a little bit closer then--
“Never mind,” he huffed, releasing her and turning away,making for the stairs.
“Wait,” she called.
He stopped in his tracks but did not look back at her.
“I’m sorry, me words were harsh and unfair. Please, can we start over?”
Ava was shocked by the words coming out of her mouth.
What are ye doing, Ava? Daenae ye want to go to sleep?
But sleep was the last thing on her mind now. Her headache slowly subsided. She nothad not even noticed.
Her husband looked over his shoulder at her, waiting for her to continue.
“We could use this hour to fulfill one of me conditions,” she suggested.
Caden turned to face her now. “What did ye have in mind?”
“I figured we could just talk. Catch up. Get to ken one another better.”
“Talk?”
“Aye. Speak, elucidate, converse, communicate. It’s when two or more people use their voices to make words—”
“I ken what talking means, Ava. Christ, ye’re even worse than ye were as a child.” He rolled his eyes to the heavens and lowered himself onto the floor, his back resting against the chair in front of her. He stretched out one long leg in front of him and propped his arm on the other.
His cotton shirt seemed to billow in the firelight. The sleeves were pushed up his arms just enough to show the veins cording his flesh like lightning bolts.
Ava hated to admit that she liked what she saw.
Caden cleared his throat. “Well?”
Ava’s eyes flicked to the muscles in his neck. They seemed to be straining against his collar.
“Well…” she trailed off. “How long since ye have been back?”
“Finlay dinnae tell ye?” Caden frowned in surprise.
“Nay, I ken nothin’ about it. I didnae even see Joanna when she returned from yer aunt’s,” Ava admitted.
Caden’s shoulders tensed. She wondered if it was the mention of the past, Joanna, or Finlay never mentioning his return.
He sighed. “I’ve been back for four years.”
“Four years!” Ava gasped. “And ye never came to see us?”
“A guard at a warring clan doesnae have time for friendly visits.” Caden shrugged.
“I see,” she murmured. “Now, it’s yer turn, me Laird.”
Caden sat still, seemingly lost in thought.
It gave her too much time to study him. Broad shoulders strained the fabric of his coat, and the strength of his thighs was unmistakable even at rest. The mask concealed half of his face, yet it only sharpened her attention to what it did not hide— how dark his brown eyes were, how sharp his jawline looked under his stubble…
The strong line of his neck, the slow, controlled rise of his chest. She told herself she was only noticing what was obvious, yet her gaze kept returning at his lips, that had been so close to her own moments ago.
Finally, he looked at her. “What happened with Emma? How long has she been married?”
“Less than a year.” Ava frowned. “Our uncle married her off a few months after Pa died. I was heartbroken for weeks.”
“Ye must miss her,” Caden said kindly.
Ava nodded. “More than I miss breathing.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, and she wiped them away with the sleeve of her dress. To her dismay, more kept coming.
“I’m sorry. It’s just…Too much is happening in such a short time. This is unlike me.”
Caden leaned forward and wiped a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb without replying.
“At least she’s happy. Her husband is crazy about her. And they’re giving their little girl a baby brother or sister soon, so I should be happy for them too. I can miss me sister and still be happy for her, can I nae?”
Another tear followed, tracing a path down to her jaw. He caught it.
“Of course ye can,” he soothed.
Neither said anything for a few minutes.
Ava sucked in a deep breath, and some of the tension broke. She felt like she was coming up for air.
“How do ye like being Laird?” She asked after a while. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them.
“Like isnae the word I would use to describe how I feel about me position,” he mused.
“What word would ye use then, me Laird?”
“It’s more of a lovely burden, if that makes sense.” He stared into the fire, as if lost somewhere in time. “I love helping people, but duty can sometimes be too heavy when ye are carrying it alone.”
“How?” Ava had seen her father struggle with his duties, but he had never complained once.