Chapter 9
Caden needed space. Time. Alcohol. He went to his study to pour himself a glass of whiskey. He really should not be playing such a dangerous game. But he seemed incapable of staying away from his wife for too long.
Even now, he kept thinking that it was very rude to have left her room without so much as a thought. Maybe he should go back and explain. Yes, that would be the right thing to do.
When he returned, he watched his wife drift into dreamland. The exhaustion of the day got the best of her, and she still looked unreal. Like the only woman that could undo him. Suddenly everything felt stupid; his plan, the groom switch, the rules.
The only thing that was not stupid was this moment, now, studying her. Her red eyelashes fanned across her cheekbones. Her rosy lips parted slightly as her breathing evened out.
“Husband,” she mumbled, a little frown on her eyebrows.
He considered telling her that she had called for him out loud. But then he decided against it. It was better to keep that precious moment to himself anyway.
Now, what to do with the sleeping beauty?
He could not very well take off her clothes without waking her, not to mention the impropriety of it. He was a Highlander, but he was not a blaggard. Besides, it was just plain impractical to take off a sleeping woman’s clothes.
Nodding his head, he decided it was wisest to just let her sleep in her gown.
He took off her shoes gently, so as not to wake her, and then tucked her under the sheets. The last few days must have been a cyclone of emotions for her. It sure had been for him, and he had known who he was marrying.
Ava stirred in her sleep. Caden stroked a thumb across her forehead until her breathing evened out again. Once he was sure she was deeply asleep, he stood to head to his bedchamber.
Exhaustion hit him like a punch to the gut as he crossed the hallway to his rooms. He was grateful to be so close to Ava, but he wished he were closer. And therein lay the problem.
A sigh escaped his still tingling lips. He should not want her.
Ye need to have better control of yerself, man. She’s just a woman, nothing more.
Once Joanna died, his resolve had hardened. He would never allow such foolishness to ruin his life the way it had ruined his sister’s. He would be stronger. He would protect both him and Ava. He would focus on his duty. He had to.
Love had driven his sister mad and left Nathan without a father or a mother. Thus, he would not welcome it in his life, let alone pursue it. He would bury himself in his work and dedicate his life to raising his nephew as his heir.
Of course, desire was a different matter, though it was currently driving him equally mad.
He sighed and removed his mask to wash his face with cold water at the basin. He really needed to start thinking straight again. When he caught sight of himself in the mirror, he immediately walked away.
Having allowed bitterness to control his life, he did not recognize himself anymore. Not only because of the large scar that marred the upper half of the right side of his face, but also because the joy had disappeared from his life.
When Finlay had announced at a council meeting that he had proposed to Ava, Caden felt pity for him. He had thought his idiot of a brother was signing up for a life of heartache. But one of the elder councilmen had advised him to also take a wife.
“It would be good for Nathan to have a maither. Ye’ve got so much to focus on, me Laird. The lad needs to be raised properly,” he had said.
“I’d rather break me own teeth,” Caden had spat out.
“Me Laird, I meant nay offense.” The old man had held up his hands placatingly.
“But please consider it. The clan needs the stability more heirs would provide, especially after yer father died. It would also be nice for wee Nathan to have a sibling. It would help build his character and make him a strong leader.”
“I will nae be told what to do. Remember yer place.” Caden had glared at the man, and no more had been said on the subject.
Then, the day of the wedding, Finlay had come to Caden, begging to switch places with him. The poor man had been in a panic, sweating and swearing up a storm. Caden had been shocked, to say the least.
“Have ye gone mad, Fin?” Caden wanted to examine his brother’s head for injuries, for Finlay knew of his aversion to love, marriage, and everything in between.
“Please, she’s me best friend. She deserves someone who will take care of her,” Finlay begged, wringing his hands like a worried old woman. “I cannae marry her. I just cannae.”
“What makes ye think I can, ye daft prick?” Caden bellowed, shaking him by the shoulders.
“She is only doing it to avoid marrying Gregor Kilmartin. Her uncle will force her if she doesnae find someone else. I offered to help her, but I am nae ready to become a husband! I will embarrass her within the first week of our marriage. She would hate me. I cannae!”
“Laird McAinsley? Her uncle is on the brink of war with him as well, isnae he?” Caden’s mind was already whirring, putting together a plan.
“Aye. Think about it, Caden. I ken ye need a wife and a maither for Nathan. Why nae Ava?” Finlay bit his lip, waiting for his brother’s response.
“Please, Braither,” he insisted when Caden did not reply, “do this for me, and I’ll be yer liege man of life and limb.”
“Ye already are. But fine,” he growled. “Daenae ye dare thank me, though. I daenae want to hear one more word from ye. Go tell the councilmen of our decision.”
“Thank ye, Braither.” Finlay smiled.
Caden shot him an icy look that sent him running out of the room.
As he rode to the kirk later that day, his heart pounded harder in his ears than his horse’s hooves did against the dirt. When he saw Ava walking down the aisle on her uncle’s arm, he had to turn away and force himself to breathe.
It was painful to stand through the ceremony. He imagined his heart would climb out of his chest and stop beating forever if the priest did not hurry. When the ceremony finally ended, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
Later that night, it was an absolute pleasure to see her slap Finlay across the face. Now, as he was lying on his bed, Caden could finally admit that he had been jealous. The fact that she had been the one who had the pleasure of smacking that smirk off the little brat’s face was…amusing.
His attraction toward her, though, was rather inconvenient. It would be so much easier if they could both contain themselves. Then, they could do their duty and get on with their lives.
Ava had managed to break all but one rule in one day. He was almost impressed. Almost.
But he also resented her for her ability to charm his nephew so easily. Nathan had never warmed up to anyone besides Finlay and his nursemaid. The fact that his brother had a relationship with their nephew that he could not seem to foster stung more than he cared to admit.
The boy was terrified of him, and Caden had to admit that it pained him. He found himself wishing he could spend a few days hunting. He itched to get away from everyone.
But Ava… Ava was as wild as the wind across the river.
He would tame her.
“But ye cannae catch the wind, laddie,” his father’s voice drawled in his head.
Tonight, Caden lay in his bed, limbs spread out like a child, remembering everything Ava had said, the way she moved, the sound of her laughter. He relished the ghost of her touch and the scent of her that still lingered on his skin.
Then there was the kiss… The way his body ached for her, begging him to devour her.
His mind was already filled with more images of her, some real, some of his most desperate, unspoken wishes.
Ava writhing below him, begging for his touch.
Ava on top of him, with her breasts pushed into his face.
Ava sprawled on his bed, spent and satisfied from his ministrations.
Caden shook his head in a bid to clear it. He should not be so impressed with his bride. He was treading on dangerous water here.
He vowed to keep his distance, to protect them both.
Besides, she wouldnae want a monster like me.
Nay, ye must nae think of her. Ye willnae want her. She’s just a woman, nothing more.