Chapter 18
Ava walked up the stairs, ignoring him. She was not ready to face him. She wanted to hide in her room.
His footsteps sounded on the stairs behind her.
“Ye dare ignore yer Laird when he’s talkin’ to ye?” He sounded like a wolf circling his prey.
Her heart rate quickened.
At the top of the stairs, she turned to head to her bedchambers when his large hand wrapped around her wrist.
She froze, feeling the air whoosh out of her lungs.
“Wife, look at me.” His touch was firm but not unkind.
Ava turned toward him, her eyes downcast. For the first time, she noticed that he was barefoot.
This is the first time I’m seeing me husband’s feet. Right before I die. God help me.
“Ava,” he prompted, his tone soft and dangerous at the same time.
She lifted her eyes to his and saw curiosity warring with anger.
“What the hell were ye thinking, telling that story?” His lips pressed together into a thin line.
She had never noticed how full his lips were before.
Caden was breathing heavily. His chest and shoulders were heaving and she hoped it was with something close to her own anticipation.
Ava could not bring herself to answer him, so she looked back down.
His feet are enormous, compared to mine.
“Ava…” He hooked a calloused thumb under her chin and stroked it with his forefinger.
Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of her name. Or was it the look in his eyes that was growing more and more hungry?
She was not sure.
Suddenly, he pulled her toward the study, where the fire burned low. Her hair and shirt fluttered behind her as she followed him. Her wrist instantly felt cold as he released her to shut and lock the door.
Caden turned toward her, approaching at a steady pace. Her heart sped up. His eyes were those of a hunter stalking his prey. Not a muscle moved, aside from her eyes following him. She was so stunned she could not even breathe.
“Ye’re wearing something that’s mine, and I want it back,” he drawled.
Slowly, agonizingly, he untied the tartan.
Ava’s throat went dry when the tartan dropped to the floor. She could feel her nipples pebble under his shirt. She was keenly aware that he could see through the fabric, for it was so thin.
He was a lion about to devour a lamb.
“And this belongs to me as well,” he murmured against her ear, pointing to his shirt.
Ava wanted to retort, but her mouth merely opened and closed.
Ye look like a dyin’ fish!
She snapped her mouth shut.
Caden played with the sleeves, before trailing his fingers to the collar, which was tied over a ‘V’ that framed her cleavage. A wisp of hair tickled her nose as she breathed in slowly. A lump formed in her throat, and she was unable to swallow past it.
Rough fingers skimmed over her skin as he untied his shirt. Her eyes followed the finger he traced down her breast. He grabbed the hem of the shirt with his other hand and tugged her toward him. Then he leaned down till his mouth was a hair’s breadth from her own.
Her body was taught like a bow string.
The silky smooth fabric of his shirt glided across her skin as he peeled it off her, baring her to his hungry gaze.
“And ye belong to me,” he purred.
He closed the distance between them, and her face met the silk of his mask and skin. Their lips met in a passionate kiss, and the world started to spin.
Caden pressed her against him and slid his large hands in her hair. He gently tugged on the strands, coaxing her to look at him. His brown eyes bored into her, making her mouth go dry.
Deftly, he angled her head. His lips trailed down her chin to her neck. Each kiss was accompanied by tongue and teeth. There were no words for how amazing every sensation was.
His strong fingers stroked down her bare back, before coming to rest at her waist. Her breath hitched as she felt the hardness under his kilt poking her hip. She stroked his neck with one hand and clutched at his shoulder with the other. Each flick of his tongue set her skin on fire.
Ava leaned into him, as he moved his hand to stroked her waist, up her ribcage, her arm, all the way up to her neck, his thumb finally dragging across her lips and his fingers gripping her jaw.
“Ever since ye came here, ye changed everything.” Caden sucked on the sensitive spot beneath her ear. “I cannae stop thinking about ye.” He nipped her ear.
Ava gasped, fisting her hand in his shirt. Unable to catch her breath, she let herself get lost in his crushing embrace and open-mouthed kisses. Caden kissed down her chest and sucked her nipple into his mouth.
A bolt of pleasure zinged through her. She was certain she would combust from the feel of his tongue and fingers on her skin.
With his lips pressed firmly to her chest, Caden wrapped his arms under her bottom and lifted her, before kneeling and laying her down on the soft blanket in front of the fire.
She was panting as he continued kissing down her body. Her fingers threaded through his long, dark locks. A sharp gasp of pleasure escaped her lips as he buried his head between her legs. She particularly enjoyed the feel of his lips on her thighs.
Every feeling was new, and she was ripe with pleasure.
The moment his tongue touched her most intimate place, she forgot how to breathe.
Loud moans spilled past her lips with every stroke, and his grip on her thighs hardened.
He sucked and licked like a man starved.
When she looked up to see what exactly he was doing to her, he picked up his pace, and she threw her head back with a gasp.
He growled –actually growled—on her skin, and the sound tipped her over the edge.
Pleasure crashed over her, making her toes curl.
Caden grinned against her sex as she shivered from the aftershocks.
Once the room had stopped spinning, Ava looked down to see him kiss her belly button.
She smiled shyly. “I didnae expect this to be so pleasurable.”
A blush bloomed in her cheeks, which made her hot all over again.
Caden rested his head on her belly, his chest heaving with quick breaths. She wondered…
“Will… Me Laird, will our… duty feel like this, too?” she asked hesitantly.
Caden made a soft noise in the back of his throat and pushed himself up, his arms flexing under his sleeves. He stood and helped her to her feet. “When ye put it that way, probably nae.”
Something had shifted in the air—a change in temperature or pressure, Ava was not sure—but it felt wrong.
Caden picked up his clothes from the floor. With stiff hands, he helped her get dressed. A sense of finality washed over her as he tied the tartan.
He did not meet her eyes as he said, “Excuse me, wife. I must go.”
He turned to leave without any further explanation.
Ava felt as if the floor fell out from under her feet. Anger welled within her, and she held onto it like a lifeline.
“Caden, notdaenae ye dare walk away from me,” she said firmly.
He drew to a halt and slowly turned to look at her.
“It isnae fair. Ye’re distancing yerself from me after we just did that? Ye shouldnae confuse me like that!” she protested, hurt filling her voice.
“I owe ye nothing,” he said coolly.
“Is this what married couples do, then?” She crossed her arms over her chest to keep herself from shaking. The room felt cold, despite the fire in the grate.
“Do what, lass?” Caden tilted his head mockingly.
“Daenae pull that with me, me Laird,” Ava shot back, glaring daggers at him. “Be straightforward with me. What is wrong?”
She could not understand, and she needed him to explain.
Caden stared at her for a long moment. She raised an eyebrow to show she was going to wait as long as it took.
“I cannae give ye what ye’re looking for, lass,” he said flatly.
“I’m nae looking for anything. As yer wife, I demand that ye tell me what’s wrong. That cannae mean nothin’ to ye.” She pointed to the blanket, flushing.
Caden released a slow breath through his nose. “Finlay may have told ye that a fire broke out in the castle three years ago.”
Her brow creased in confusion. Why was he talking about that? A vague memory flashed through her mind, and she nodded slowly.
“It wasnae an accident. Joanna, the fool that she was, set it ablaze with the aim to kill herself and Nathan,” Caden gritted out.
Ava’s blood ran cold. “What?”
“Joanna lost the will to live because her lover had rejected her and Nathan. In drunken agony, she set her room on fire and waited to die.” Caden clenched his jaw.
Ava could not understand what he was saying.
“I found a letter from him the day after, half burned, saying that he wouldnae acknowledge Nathan as his own and that she would be forced to live with the shame of being a wench and having a bastard.”
The room began to tilt.
“So nay, I’m in nay way interested in caring for someone so much that I might lose sense of what is right and what is wrong.” Caden turned on his heel and unlocked the door, leaving her alone in the study.
Ava was rooted to the spot, a maelstrom of emotions tearing through her. She was not sure how long she stood there, but she knew she needed to see Nathan immediately.
That poor, sweet boy. That poor woman. What pain and sadness she must have felt. I cannae even imagine it.
Along with her confusion, Ava felt rejected and used.
Her heart hardened. She would deal with that later.
Now, she needed to be with Nathan. He was the only thing in this castle that could provide her with the little comfort she needed.
Her fingers itched to hold him and never let go.
Protect him from a world too cruel for a sweet innocent bairn like him.
She made her way out of the study and hurried to his room. She gently pushed the door open, and light from the hallway spilled over his little bed. He lay sleeping, the dim light accentuating his cherubic features.
Ava crossed the room in a few quick steps and stopped by the bed, marveling at the little miracle.
How Joanna was so desperate that she was willing to give up on him and herself, Ava would never understand. Something else had to be at play, but she was not sure what.
She had only been the boy’s aunt for a few days, and already she loved him beyond comprehension. She could not imagine the love a mother would have for her child. It would be infinitely bigger and stronger. And if Joanna were anything like her brothers, she would have been fiercely loyal.
There was simply nothing that could ease Ava’s mind when she knew that the boy had almost died because of his mother’s actions.
“Ma, sing.” The sweetest sound came from the bed.
Ava sat next to Nathan, whose eyes were closed. She placed a hand on his head and ran her fingers through his hair. Before she could open her mouth, his breathing evened out.
“I’ll sing for ye tomorrow when we go skatin’,” she whispered.
His body relaxed as he settled back into deep sleep.
Ava watched the rise and fall of his chest and let it soothe her aching heart. Once she was sure he was asleep, she left the room, silent as a ghost.
The halls were dark, the quiet comforting. Ava ran her eyes over the walls, noticing the charred spots for the first time. It must have been terrifying for them all. What a horrible way to leave this life.
In the safety of her room, she shut the door and leaned against it, letting her tears spill over. The ancient wood was a comfort as she cried for Nathan, for Joanna, and for herself.
How Caden could carry on after such a tragedy, she did not know.
She collapsed on the bed and let out a low sob. She desperately wished to be on the farm with her animals, enjoying her freedom and reveling in nature. How wonderful it would be to show Nathan her small world.
Instead, she was trapped in a cold and dark castle, with secrets and complex feelings, being used as a plaything for her husband.
How has it come to this?