Chapter 28
The fire crackled and popped, sending sparks up the chimney. Ava sat cross-legged on the rug before the hearth, Nathan tucked against her side, his warmth seeping through the wool of her gown.
He had finally made a full recovery. Ava had never left his side and stayed with him in his room.
Tonight, they had huddled together in the Great Hall as snow began to fall outside. Nathan wore Finlay’s old plaid around his shoulders like a cape. It was far too big for him, the hem brushing his feet.
Ava’s heart clenched, thinking about the day when it would become too small for him.
“Now,” she said solemnly, adjusting the crooked paper crown on his head, “this is a very serious night.”
Nathan bobbed his head. “Crazy clothes!” he declared excitedly.
“And,” Ava added, lowering her voice as though she were telling him a great secret, “crazy stories.”
Nathan gasped, his eyes wide. “About dragons?”
“Maybe,” Ava said slyly, tickling him. “Or sheep that talk. Or lairds who turn into frogs!”
Nathan laughed so hard he tipped over, catching himself on her arm.
Ava smiled, pressing a kiss to his wavy hair. The past days had hollowed her out with fear, but moments like this—this simple, foolish joy—mended something inside her. The physical and emotional scars would never leave, though.
She told him a story about a brave knight no taller than a kitchen spoon, who saved a kingdom while armed only with a thimble and a very loud voice. Nathan contributed sound effects with glee.
Ava was halfway through the knight’s battle with a silly old goose when the Great Hall doors opened and a blast of cold air and snow rushed in.
“Da!” Nathan cried out upon seeing Caden.
He scrambled to his feet, the plaid dropping to the floor as he ran into Caden’s arms. Ava noticed her husband was not wearing his mask.
Caden stood in the doorway with the boy in his arms. He looked uncertain whether to step inside or retreat. He was not wearing any crazy clothes, no stable boy uniform or even one of Ava’s dresses. But his hair was loose, falling around his shoulders.
The usual tension was gone from his face, replaced by something akin to uncertainty.
“Da! Tellin’ crazy stories!” Nathan wiggled like a little worm.
“Good, because I have one to tell.” Caden smiled at him, then looked at Ava.
A mix of apprehension and vulnerability that she had never seen before flickered in his eyes.
“Silly Da! Need crazy clothes!” Nathan scolded.
“Oh, is that so, little master?” Caden drawled.
Nathan nodded. “Right, Ma?” He looked to Ava for support.
“Aye, Nathan is right.” Ava raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders. “Ye must be wearin’ crazy clothes to tell a story.”
“Well then, Master Nathan, can ye help me find something?” Caden asked somberly.
Nathan wriggled out of his arms. “Aye! Kneel.”
Caden knelt before the boy, and Nathan took the paper crown off his head and put it on Caden’s. It was ridiculously small and sat lopsided. Then, Nathan ran over to pick up Finlay’s plaid and rushed back to drape it around Caden’s shoulders.
“There! Proper crazy!” Nathan sketched a silly little bow.
Caden smiled at him. “Thank ye, lad. May I tell me story now?”
“Aye!” Nathan jumped up and down, before running into his arms.
Ava realized this was the first time in weeks she had seen her husband smile genuinely.
He looked up at her and put on a solemn expression. “May we approach the lady of the castle? The Laird and his knight have a story to tell.”
Ava considered, examining his crazy clothes. “The lady finds ye worthy. Ye may approach.”
As Caden crossed the room and sat across from her, he did not break their stare. Ava felt as if she could truly see him, and it was not because the mask was gone.
He pulled Nathan into his lap and let out a sigh. He was close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating from him. She could smell the faint scent of snow and clean wool.
Wrapping his arms around Nathan, Caden stared into the fire for a long moment.
“This is a story,” he began slowly, “about a man who thought himself very wise.”
Nathan looked up, entranced by his voice.
“This man,” Caden continued, “believed that love was something earned only through duty. Through sacrifice. Through standing alone when necessary.”
Ava’s spine stiffened.
“He believed,” Caden said, his voice low, “that if he carried enough weight, nay one else would have to suffer.”
Nathan frowned. “That’s silly.”
Caden smiled faintly. “Aye, it was.”
Ava did not smile.
“The man married a woman he didnae ken,” Caden went on. “He told himself it was for the good of his people and that his feelings didnae matter. He tried to convince himself that if he kept his heart behind stone walls, he could protect himself.”
Ava’s fingers curled into the fabric of her skirt.
“But,” Caden sighed, “the trouble with walls is that they keep out the very things meant to save ye. One day, the man began to notice things. How the woman spoke gently to the servants he had dismissed. How she protected and loved animals. How she laughed when she thought nay one was listening.”
Ava’s breath caught despite herself.
Please, daenae…
“He noticed that the air felt warmer when she was in a room and colder when she left it. There was new life in his small castle—friendships and companionship. Fatherhood.”
The crackle of the fire was too loud in the ensuing silence. A lump formed in Ava’s throat.
“And one day,” Caden murmured, “the man realized that he had fallen in love with her the moment he carried her through the Great Hall’s doors. He had simply been too afraid to admit it.”
Nathan tilted his head. “Afraid? Why?”
Caden’s gaze lifted from the flames to Ava’s face. “Because loving her meant risking pain. The man convinced himself that he was strong enough to face solitude and loneliness if it meant being able to keep them out of harm’s way.”
His eyes bored into hers as he spoke.
“One day, when he risked losing her, he pushed her away even more. He didnae realize he’d hurt both of them in the process. Then, someone they loved got sick, and they had to come together to help. The man realized he had been a fool to let her go.”
Ava stood up abruptly, her chair scraping across the cobblestones.
The sound startled Nathan. “Ma?”
She turned away from Caden and crossed her arms over her chest, putting distance between her and the warmth of his words. She did not want to risk getting hurt again.
She could not go through this again.
She turned back to face him, a stone wall of protection around her heart. “And what about duty?” she asked, her voice sharp enough to cut.