Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
"David!"
Elinor found him in the courtyard, preparing to ride out yet again.
She'd watched from her solar window as he'd strode across the yard, barking orders at guards, his shoulders rigid with tension. Watched as a stable hand brought his horse. Watched as he checked his weapons with the practiced efficiency of a man who'd done it a thousand times.
And something inside her snapped.
She was down the stairs and across the courtyard before she could think better of it, her skirts swishing around her ankles as she moved.
He turned at the sound of her voice, surprise flickering across his face. It was the first time she'd seen any real emotion from him in days.
"Elinor. Ye should be inside."
"Should I?" She stopped a few feet away, suddenly aware that half the courtyard was watching them. Guards pretending not to listen. Servants slowing their work. "According to whose orders?"
"Mine." His jaw tightened. "It's nae safe."
"It's never safe, apparently." She could hear the edge in her voice, sharp and bitter. "That's your excuse for everything now, isn't it?"
"It's nae an excuse. It's the truth." He glanced at the watching guards, then back at her. "Can we discuss this inside?"
"No. Because you're leaving." She gestured to his horse. "Again. Like you have every day for the past week. Riding out to check defenses or patrol borders or whatever excuse you're using today to avoid me."
"I'm nae avoidin' ye. I'm protectin' ye."
"By locking me in the castle like a prisoner?" Her voice rose despite her attempts to control it. "By posting guards at every door? By refusing to let me leave, refusing to speak to me.”
"That's nae fair."
"Isn't it?" Elinor took a step closer, anger and hurt warring in her chest. "Tell me, David. What exactly have you said to me in the past five days? What conversations have we had? What explanations have you given for why I'm suddenly a prisoner in my own home?"
"Ye're nae a prisoner."
"Then what am I?" She spread her hands. "Because I can't leave the castle. Can't go to the village. Can't even walk in the gardens without an escort of guards following me everywhere. If that's not a prisoner, what is it?"
David's hands curled into fists at his sides. "It's temporary. Until I'm sure."
"Sure of what? That Langley's men are gone? That there are no more threats?" Her laugh was bitter. "There will always be threats, David. There will always be something to worry about. Some reason to lock me away and keep me safe."
"Aye. There will." His voice was hard now, matching hers.
"Because ye were nearly taken from me! Because I had tae watch a blade at yer throat and ken that if I'd been one second slower, ye'd be gone.
Dead or worse. So forgive me if I'm takin' extra precautions tae make sure that daesnae happen again! "
The raw pain in his voice made her falter. But only for a moment.
"Extra precautions," she repeated. "Is that what you call this? Shutting me out? Treating me like I'm made of glass? Refusing to talk to me about what you're thinking or feeling or planning?"
"Christ, I'm protectin' ye."
She took a step closer. "When's the last time you looked at me, David? Really looked at me? When's the last time we had a conversation that wasn't you barking orders?”
"Elinor—"
"You kissed me," she continued, the words tumbling out now.
"Right after the attack. In our bedchamber.
You kissed me like—like it meant something.
And then everything went wrong and you've barely looked at me since.
Was it just—" Her throat tightened. "Was it just the favor?
Just something you did because I asked? Or did it mean something to you too? "
"Of course it meant somethin'." His voice was rough. "But…"
"But what? But it scared you? But it made you realize you actually care about me and that terrifies you?" She pulled her arm free. "So you ran. You've been running for five days. Hiding behind duty and protection and security measures rather than dealing with what's actually happening between us."
"Ye dinnae understand."
"Then help me understand!" Her voice broke. "Talk to me, David. Actually talk to me instead of shutting me out and making decisions for me and treating me like I'm a problem to be solved rather than a person to…"
She stopped.
"A person tae what?" David's voice was barely above a whisper.
"To care about," she finished quietly. "To actually care about."
"I dae care about ye." The words sounded torn from him. "That's why I'm daein' this. That's why I need tae keep ye safe."
Silence fell between them. Heavy and painful and full of things neither of them seemed able to say.
"I need tae go," David said finally. "The patrols."
"Of course." Elinor's laugh was hollow. "The patrols. Always something more important than actually dealing with this. With us."
"It's nae more important. It's necessary."
"Is it? Or is it just easier? Easier to ride out and check defenses than to stay here and face what you're feeling?"
David opened his mouth. Closed it. The muscle in his jaw worked like he was chewing through words he couldn't quite say.
His hands curled into fists. "Carin' about ye means I cannae afford tae lose ye. And keepin' ye safe means—"
"Means pushing me away. Locking me up. Making me miserable in the name of protection." Elinor's voice was steady now, cold. "I understand perfectly.”
"Ye're twistin' me words."
"I'm stating facts." She could feel tears burning behind her eyes but refused to let them fall.
"So what are ye sayin'?" His voice was hard now.
"I'm saying I want a husband. Not a jailer." She met his eyes. "And until you can be that, and until you can actually let me in instead of shutting me out, I don't know what we're doing here."
The words hung between them like a blade.
David stared at her, his expression shifting through shock, hurt, anger, and something else she couldn't name.
"Fine," he said finally. His voice was flat. Empty. "If that's how ye feel."
"That's how I feel."
"Then I'll leave ye tae it." He turned toward his horse. "The guards will remain. Fer yer protection. But if ye want space from me, ye'll have it."
"David."
But he was already mounting, his movements jerky with barely controlled emotion. He looked down at her one last time, his face a mask of carefully controlled nothing.
"Stay inside the castle walls," he said. "That's nae negotiable."
Then he spurred his horse forward and rode out through the gates without looking back.
Elinor stood in the courtyard, watching him disappear. Around her, the guards and servants slowly returned to their work, pretending they hadn't just witnessed their lady and laird tearing strips off each other.
She should have gone inside. Should have retreated to her solar and processed what had just happened.
But her legs wouldn't move.
She'd done it. She'd finally confronted him. Told him how his behavior was affecting her. Demanded better.
And he'd ridden away.
Just like she'd known he would.
Because that's what men did when challenged them. When one refused to be controlled. They left. Or they made a woman pay for her defiance.
She'd thought David was different. Had believed, stupidly, that he might actually listen. That he might care enough to change.
But she'd been wrong.
He was just like her father after all. Just better at hiding it.
The tears came then, hot and angry and devastating. Elinor wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold in the sobs that wanted to break free.
She'd married him to escape one cage. Only to find herself in another. And this time, it hurt so much worse.
Because this time, she'd started to care. Started to hope. Started to believe that maybe, just maybe, she'd found someone who saw her as more than property.
But she'd been wrong.
And now she was alone in a castle that felt more like a prison every day, married to a man who cared more about protecting her than actually being with her.
"Me lady?"
Elinor looked up to find Ainsley hovering nearby, concern written all over her freckled face.
"Are ye alright?"
"No." The word came out broken. "But I will be."
Because she'd survived her father's house. She'd survived the auction. She'd survived the attack.
She could survive that too.
Even if it felt like her heart was breaking. Even if David never came back. Even if she spent the rest of her life trapped in that beautiful cage, married to a ghost.
She turned and walked back into the castle, her spine straight and her head high.
But inside, she was shattered.
And she didn't know how to put herself back together.