Chapter 23
Ness jerked her head aside as Ceana brought the ends of the flower chain together. The unfinished crown slipped over one horn and hung beneath her jaw.
“The large one belongs on this side,” Tommy said, pointing to the goat’s left ear.
Ceana caught the flowers before Ness trampled them and moved the white bloom where Tommy had chosen. She felt a faint pull in her healing wrist as she twisted the stem around the chain.
Tommy crouched to inspect her work. “Nay, it was better where ye put it.”
“Ye have nay idea how a properly crowned goat should look.”
The little boy cocked his head. “She must look like a lady.”
Ness stretched her neck toward the loose stems in Ceana’s lap. Ceana rescued the nearest flower from her teeth and pressed a palm against her nose. “Then yer lady lacks courtly manners.”
Tommy’s laugh drew a glance from the gardener. He declared that the crown required three more flowers and hurried along the path to find them.
Ceana flexed her hand when her wrist pulled again. Movement beyond Tommy drew her eyes toward the far end of the garden.
Oscar approached with his hands folded behind his back. His face held the hard stillness she knew from council meetings, and his steps made little sound on the packed earth. For some reason, the sight reminded her of Muriel’s account of the orchard wall.
Fear made him quiet.
His gaze went first to her face, then to the hand resting among the flowers. Warmth pooled between her thighs as she remembered the feel of his mouth on her and his arm around her.
“How do ye feel?” he asked.
“Well enough to be overruled by a five-year-old concerning floral arrangements.”
“I am helpin’,” Tommy protested, holding up a crushed yellow bloom.
“Aye. And ye have had the gravest responsibility,” Oscar said.
Tommy grinned and returned to his search.
Oscar looked at Ceana again. “Will ye walk with me?”
Her smile faded, and she set the crown on the low stone wall. “Aye.”
“Tommy, find three flowers Ness hasnae tried to eat. Stay beside the gardener while ye choose them.”
Tommy accepted the charge with all the seriousness Oscar had given it.
Ceana promised to return, then followed Oscar down the narrower path. He matched her pace with his arm hanging at his side.
The gap between their sleeves made her remember waking against his chest. A low branch crossed the path. Oscar placed his hand on her waist as he guided her beneath it. The contact spread heat through her gown. Her breath caught, and his fingers tightened once.
As soon as the path widened, he released her and put a step between them. His next breath sounded rougher than the last.
Tommy remained visible beside the gardener, holding flowers beyond Ness’s reach. They had moved far enough that he could not overhear them.
“We should start using separate chambers tonight,” Oscar began.
Ceana looked at him for the better half of a minute. The silence that followed was so thick that she could have sworn he hadn’t said anything at all.
“Has Muriel said that me bruises require more space while I sleep?”
“She has said nothin’ of the kind.”
“Have I been disturbin’ yer rest?”
“The problem is mine.” His gaze shifted beyond her shoulder. “Because it is gettin’ harder and harder nae to touch ye.”
A low pulse moved through her body. She looked at the hand hanging at his side, the same hand that had supported her in the bath. His fingers curled into his palm.
“Do ye want me gone from yer bed?”
Oscar faced her fully. His gaze flicked over her mouth before rising to her eyes. “I want ye in it too much.”
Her next breath caught in her throat. His desire would put a closed door between them.
“Like I told ye, Oscar, if it is children ye are worried about—”
“It is more than that.” The silence between them grew even thicker as he flexed his hand. “I cannae lie beside ye night after night, touch ye as I did, and trust meself to stop at the same point every time. Sooner or later, I will want more.”
“Ye want more now.”
His jaw tightened. “Aye.”
At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to scream at him as loudly as she could. However, she could only stand still and try her very best to control her temper.
Oscar watched the look on her face and turned toward the wall beside him.
“It is me life ye claim to protect,” she said. “And now I cannae have a say in what risk I may accept?”
His palm came down on the rough stone. “I willnae gamble with yer life.”
“Well, good. Nay one is askin’ ye to do that.”
“Ceana, ye daenae understand.”
“Oh, do I nae?”
“Paisley and Tommy have already lost one maither.” His knuckles whitened against the wall. “I willnae risk them losin’ another.”
She had seen his face whenever Tommy’s birth was mentioned. She stepped closer, close enough to see the pulse beneath the scar at his temple. “Did what happened after the bath mean anythin’ to ye?”
His grip tightened on the wall as his gaze dropped to her mouth, and his weight shifted toward her before he caught himself. He forced one foot back. “Aye.”
Ceana waited. His chest rose beneath his tunic, and the muscles in his forearm remained rigid even as he said nothing more.
A bruised petal clung to her dress. She lowered her gaze and brushed it away. Her hand paused against the wool until her fingers stopped trembling.
“As ye wish, me Laird.”
Oscar’s shoulders locked. He lifted his hand from the stone and stared at her. “Ceana.”
She raised her eyes. “Do ye require anythin’ else?”
His lips parted, then pressed together. “Nay.”
At that moment, Tommy came running with flowers crushed in both fists. “I found four! The gardener says this one is a weed, but it is bonnier than the others.”
Ceana turned away from Oscar and examined the flowers. “Then the gardener has poor taste. We shall use it.”
Her fingers shook when she lifted the flowers. She laid the stems on her palm and began fastening the flowers into the open space. Tommy corrected her twice, and she asked his opinion on the final bloom with such seriousness that his gaze stayed fixed on the crown.
Ness tried to steal the weed, but Ceana tapped her nose and tucked it behind her ear. “There. A proper lady.”
The goat shook her head, and the crown teetered and caught against her horns.
Tommy laughed. “It is perfect.”
“Entirely thanks to yer assistance, I am certain.”
Ceana straightened the flowers and offered him her hand. Oscar hovered beside the low wall, watching them.
“Come, sweetness,” she said. “We must show Paisley what ye have made.”
Tommy took her hand, and Ness followed with the crown tilted over one eye. They walked toward the castle, leaving Oscar beside the wall with the distance he had chosen.
Later that afternoon, Ceana knew she wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, so she found Mairi in the upper passage and waited till she finished directing the maids who stood with her.
“Which chamber can be prepared tonight?” she asked as the last maid left with her new tasks.
Mairi paused with her ring of keys in one hand. Across the narrow passage, an oak door stood a few paces from the chamber Ceana had shared with Oscar.
“That one, me Lady. It is smaller, though it has a sound bed and fireplace. The latch is also secure.” Mairi glanced toward the guest stairs. “There is a larger chamber further down.”
“I am stayin’ in the family wing. Prepare the room, and have me belongings moved out of the Laird’s chamber.”
Mairi’s thumb passed over the edge of a key. “Did he order ye to move out?”
“He asked for separate chambers.”
“Ah, I see.”
Ceana kept her gaze on the opposite door. “I need it ready as soon as possible.”
Mairi asked nothing further. She unlocked the smaller chamber, then called two maids from the stairs and gave them their directions.
The transfer began immediately. Folded gowns crossed first in a maid’s arms. Another maid brought Ceana’s night rails and returned for the combs and ribbons beside the washstand.
Ceana gathered Daphne’s letters herself, tied the packet closed, and placed it in the chest at the foot of her new bed. Her books followed with her workbasket.
The door to Oscar’s chamber remained open. Each time Ceana crossed the passage, she saw more bare wood where her belongings had once been. The turned cover exposed the side of the bed she had occupied.
Her stomach tightened at the sight of the hollow in the mattress. She could almost feel the weight of Oscar’s arm against her waist.
“Shall I remove the second pillow?” Mairi asked.
“Leave the room as it is.”
A maid carrying the last of Ceana’s linen nearly collided with Tommy outside the children’s rooms. He had Ness’s battered flower crown in one hand, retrieved after the goat shook it off beneath the stairs.
“Why is she takin’ yer things?” His eyes followed the maid into the opposite chamber. “Are ye goin’ away?”
Ceana went to him at once and took his free hand. “Nay, sweetness. I am stayin’ here.”
Paisley stepped out of the schoolroom. She stopped beside the door, her hands pressed flat against her dress.
“Yer faither and I will sleep in different chambers for a while,” Ceana explained. “This has nothin’ to do with either of ye. Ye will find me at breakfast tomorrow, and I will spend the family hour with ye as always. If ye need me sooner, come to me.”
“May I still come into yer room?” Tommy asked.
“Ye and Paisley may always come.”
Paisley’s fingers loosened against her dress. “I will.”
Tommy considered the open chamber, then hung Ness’s crown on a peg beside the door. “So she will ken which one is yer room.”
Ceana touched the crushed white flowers. “That is quite sensible.”
By the time Muriel stepped into the passage carrying fresh bandages, the maids had finished folding Ceana’s gowns in the chest. Muriel watched one of them leave Oscar’s chamber with an empty basket.
“I passed by me braither downstairs,” she said once the servants had gone. “He answered two questions with one word. He only does that when somethin’ frightens him.”
“He has requested separate chambers.”
She looked across the passage. Her mouth tightened, though she kept her voice level. “I can stay with ye this evenin’.”
“I daenae want pity.”
“Well, good thing I am only offerin’ me company.”
Ceana nodded. “I need to do somethin’. Ye can tell me which supplies need to be replaced after the battle at Morrag.”
“I will bring ye the list before breakfast.”
Muriel touched her shoulder once and left her to the work basket she had opened.
Night had fallen when Mairi returned. A fresh stack of firewood stood beside the hearth, and another blanket had been laid across the bed. Ceana had already found the new iron pin fitted through the latch.
“After he learned which chamber ye chose, the Laird sent the carpenter,” Mairi explained. “He ordered the wood as well. There is another guard at the family stairs.”
Ceana folded the blanket once and pressed its edge flat until her healing wrist began to ache. Her gaze remained on Oscar’s closed door across the passage.
“I’d like to retire, please,” she said.
After Mairi withdrew, Ceana changed into her night rail and combed her hair alone. She banked the fire, returned the comb to the washstand, and crawled into bed on the side she had always occupied beside Oscar.
Her hand moved across the linen before she caught herself. Her palm found only the empty pillow and the cold sheet. She remembered the warmth of his forearm and the steady breath near her ear.
The thought made her draw her hand back and close it against her chest.
From tomorrow, she would only speak to Oscar about the children or the running of the castle. Any private conversation he would have to start. She would leave his chamber door untouched.
Much later, footsteps sounded in the passage. She recognized their pace as they stopped outside her closed door. She slid out of bed and crossed the floor, her fingers hovering over the latch.
Oscar did not knock. His boots crossed the narrow passage, and she heard the latch on his door click. She lowered her hand.
She was done. She would not ask him again.