Chapter 30
Oscar rapped twice against the carriage ceiling.
“Stop here.”
Ceana looked out the window, expecting to find a broken wheel or a rider approaching with news.
Lennan had already raised one hand to halt the escort. The men spread out along the road, far enough from the carriage to give them privacy.
“What has happened?” Ceana asked.
“Nothin’. We have traveled long enough without rest.”
“We stopped less than an hour ago.”
Oscar opened the door. “Then ye shouldnae need long before we continue.”
The carriage had the best springs available, though the slower pace scarcely tested them.
Thick blankets covered the seat beneath Ceana, and cushions protected her back from every jolt.
A cup of water stood within reach beside small parcels of food Oscar had ordered packed before they left the festival.
He examined the remaining parcels. “What can ye tolerate? Oatcake or dried apple?”
“Dried apple.”
Oscar passed it to her without pressuring her to take more.
Since their departure, he had watched her face whenever the wheels struck uneven ground.
His attention followed each change in her breathing and every movement of her hands.
Their knees brushed often, though he had made no attempt to kiss her.
He stepped down and offered her his hand. Ceana could have managed the low step alone, but she placed her fingers in his because she wanted to feel his skin against hers.
His other hand closed around her waist as she descended. Once her feet touched the ground, he kept her there for one breath, his hand tight beneath her palm. Then he released her.
“Are ye dizzy?”
“I am well.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Do ye doubt me?” she asked.
“I am just makin’ sure.”
Ceana turned the strip of dried apple between her fingers. “Ye have spent half the day lookin’ at me as though ye expect some change.”
His gaze moved to her mouth before returning to her eyes.
A trace of teasing entered her voice, though the question beneath it had been niggling at her since they left the festival. “Do ye still want me?”
“I do,” he said without hesitation. “But I willnae mistake yer return for permission.”
Heat curled low in her belly. He stood near enough for her to see the strain in his jaw, yet he made no move to reclaim her waist.
She turned and started walking to stretch her legs. Oscar matched her pace without guiding her, while Lennan kept the escort turned toward the surrounding hills.
They reached a border inn after dusk. Oscar secured adjacent chambers before they shared a hot meal beside the fire. When Ceana retired, he stopped outside her door and bade her good night.
On the second afternoon, MacKane Castle came into view through the carriage window.
Ceana recognized the gate tower first, then the upper windows and the wall beside the training yard.
Wisps of smoke rose from the kitchen chimney in a familiar gray column.
She leaned closer to the glass until Oscar’s shoulder brushed hers.
Tommy ran into the courtyard before the carriage had stopped. “Ceana!”
Paisley followed at a more careful pace.
Oscar descended first. “Slow down, both of ye.”
Ceana took his hand and stepped down, then opened her arms. Tommy reached her first. He hugged her tight for one impulsive second before remembering her condition and pulling away. She caught him by the shoulders and drew him close again.
“Ye may hug me, Tommy.”
Paisley waited beside them until Ceana reached for her. The girl’s arms rested carefully around Ceana’s waist, leaving a space between their bodies. Ceana drew her nearer and kissed her hair.
A low bleat sounded near the stables. Ness escaped the groom holding her and raced around the three of them. She caught the edge of Ceana’s cloak between her teeth and tugged until Ceana laughed.
Oscar remained beside her with one hand hovering near her back, ready to steady her. He allowed the children to keep their arms around her.
Before the waiting servants could surround them, Ceana led Paisley and Tommy to the stone bench beside the entrance.
“Are ye stayin’?” Tommy asked.
“Aye. I chose to come home.” She took his hand and Paisley’s. “And I am back, so ye nay longer need to worry.”
Paisley looked down at Ceana’s belly. “Ye look great, Ceana.”
Ceana opened her mouth to respond, but Tommy interrupted her. “Will the baby take me place in yer bed during family hours?”
Ceana squeezed his fingers. “There is room for all three of ye. The bairn will have a place beside yers.”
Muriel embraced her once they rose, then drew back to inspect Ceana’s color. “Ye have borne the journey well. Rest before supper.”
The servants smiled as they examined Ceana’s face. A maid hurried toward the kitchen with news that Lady MacKane had arrived, and another went upstairs to reopen her chamber.
Oscar led Ceana into the former morning room beside the Great Hall. A desk stood near the fireplace, with a cushioned chair and footstool arranged behind it.
“Ye may resume yer duties after ye have rested,” Oscar said.
“I will begin with the cottages tomorrow mornin’.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but then seemed to think better of it.
At the main staircase, Ceana placed one foot on the first step. Oscar moved in front of her.
“Two days of travel have tired ye.”
“The carriage hasnae taken the use of me legs.”
He lifted her into his arms before she could take another step. Tommy laughed behind them, and Mairi hid a smile with her hand.
Ceana wound an arm around his neck. With every step, her breasts brushed his chest. His hand splayed across her back, holding her firmly enough to stir every place that had gone a month without his touch.
“I can climb an ordinary staircase,” she insisted.
“This is an exception.”
“Ask before ye carry me again.”
“Next time, I will ask.”
Oscar carried her into their chamber and set her carefully on her feet. The bed had been aired and prepared. Fresh bedding also covered the small sofa near the hearth. Much later that night, Ceana watched him unfold a blanket there.
“Do ye intend to sleep on that?”
“Aye. Daenae worry, I daenae intend to share the bed with ye.”
Ceana let the matter rest that night and climbed into bed alone. When she looked across the chamber again, Oscar’s eyes were open, and his hand was curled on his stomach. Less than two paces separated him from the bed, and yet he did not cross them.
By the third morning, she had the petitions from the cottages open beside the household ledgers.
Mairi stood across from the desk, one finger resting on the figures. “The timber set aside will mend both roofs,” she said. “The steward intended it for new panelin’ in the west guest chamber.”
“That chamber has stood unused for six years.”
“Aye, me Lady.”
Ceana checked the measurements again. Enough seasoned timber remained for both cottages if the decorative work waited.
“Release it to the tenants,” she ordered, dipping her quill. “The roofs must be repaired before the next rain.”
The door opened before she could sign the instruction, and a maid entered carrying a tray, with Oscar close behind her. Dark circles rimmed his eyes. He had spent two nights on the floor, watching her whenever she stirred in bed.
“How long have ye been workin’?” he asked.
“Since after the mornin’ meal.”
“So, nearly two hours.”
Ceana looked up. “Ye were in the trainin’ yard when I came here.”
His gaze shifted to the tray. “Ye left most of yer breakfast.”
“How do ye ken that?”
The maid’s hands tightened around the wooden handles.
“She did as I instructed,” Oscar said. “Ye have done nothin’ wrong, Alura. Set it there.”
The maid obeyed and then withdrew quickly.
Ceana laid down her quill. “Ye ordered the servants to report what I eat?”
“I asked to be told if ye were sick, tired, or unable to finish a meal.”
“And what? Asking me personally wasnae an option?”
“Ye would say ye were well so ye could continue workin’.”
He trusted reports gathered around her more than the answers she might give him. Ceana didn’t yet know whether she should feel offended.
Mairi drew the petition nearer. “Shall I have the timber released, me Lady?”
Ceana signed her name and pressed the paper into Mairi’s hand. “Aye. Both roofs. The guest chamber can wait.”
“I will send the order now.”
Mairi left with the signed instructions before Oscar could close the matter for the day. He shut the ledger and placed the tray in front of Ceana. The smell of roasted mutton reached her first, and her stomach lurched.
“Oh, wow, I cannae eat that.”
Oscar removed the plate at once. “The oat bread?”
“That will stay down.”
He broke a small piece and held it toward her. Ceana accepted it from his fingers. His thumb brushed the corner of her mouth, and his breath hitched. For one heated instant, she saw the man who had held her in their bed.
His gaze remained on her lips until he pulled his hand away.
“Finish what ye can,” he urged.
Ceana studied him. It was clear that his tenderness had become another method of measuring her. A part of her hoped it wouldn’t turn into a means of control as well.
“Will every servant tell ye when I eat, sleep, walk, or open a ledger?”
“They will tell me if ye tire or become ill.”
Ceana cocked her head. “I like to think me weariness belongs to me to report.”
“I will take nay chances.”
Muriel entered, carrying a cup of mint tea. Her gaze flicked from the closed ledger to the tray. “Ye already finished yer work, Ceana?”
“She has done enough,” Oscar said.
“Pregnancy isnae an illness, Oscar.” Muriel set the cup beside Ceana. “She needs movement and useful occupation. Let her eat what she can tolerate and sleep when she is tired. I cannae promise how every month will pass. At present, I see nay cause to confine her.”
“She was dizzy. She could scarcely keep food down, and she lost weight.”
“Those symptoms have improved.”
Oscar considered. “Two hours of work each mornin’. She may walk in the lower garden with someone beside her. The stairs remain forbidden.”
Ceana pushed the tray away. “Muriel advised ye. She didnae grant ye the right to ration me life.”
“I am carin’ for me wife and bairn.”
Muriel picked up the abandoned mutton plate. “Those restrictions are yer choice, Braither. Ye willnae claim that me judgment supports them.”
By the final evening of the week, the servants looked toward Oscar before answering even the simplest request.
Family hour had also been moved into Ceana’s workroom. Tommy had arranged wooden soldiers in a wide circle around her chair, and Ness stood beyond the boundary with a strip of cloth tied loosely around her neck.
“What is this?” Ceana asked.
“Nay one can run inside the soldiers,” Tommy said. “Faither ordered everyone to be careful with ye.”
Oscar stood beside the fireplace and did not correct him. Paisley sat on a stool beyond the wooden line.
Ceana removed several soldiers and opened the circle. “Come closer, both of ye.”
Paisley rose first. Tommy glanced at Oscar before stepping across.
Ceana drew them beside her chair. “We have neglected our question game. Tommy, if Ness became Laird for one day, what would be her first command?”
Tommy thought about it for a while before answering. “Probably that every cabbage must be banished from the castle.”
Ness chose that moment to seize one of the wooden soldiers and trot away with it between her teeth. Ceana laughed so hard that she started coughing.
Oscar crossed the room at once. “Are ye dizzy? Are ye in pain?”
“I am laughin’.”
“That is enough for tonight. Ceana must rest.”
Tommy’s face fell. “I kept everyone outside the line. I am sorry I made ye laugh too hard.”
Ceana took his hand. “Laughter hasnae harmed me.”
Paisley watched Oscar from beside the chair. “If ye are well, why must we stay away from ye?”
“Ye need only remember that there are risks when a woman carries a bairn—” Oscar began.
“Enough,” Ceana cut in, gathering both children close. “Ye can sit beside me. Ye can embrace me and laugh with me.”
Tommy’s arms remained cautious around her.
After kissing each child, Ceana sent them to help Mairi rescue the wooden soldier from Ness. Oscar left for his study before the door had closed behind them.
Ceana followed.
The same straight-backed chair in which she had bargained over their marriage stood before his desk. Oscar moved behind it as she closed the door.
“Why are ye nae restin’?” he asked.
“That question is why I followed ye.” She advanced to the desk. “Ye have made me return feel like imprisonment.”
“I arranged a safe journey. Ye were tired when we arrived. I make certain ye eat, and I have allowed ye to continue workin’. The children must learn caution.”
“Or ye can just ask what I need before makin’ any decision.”
“I am keepin’ ye and the bairn safe.”
Ceana stepped around the desk until less than an arm’s length separated them. His gaze followed the rise and fall of her chest before dropping to the faint swell of her belly. Both hands remained braced against the wood.
“Tommy believes laughter can hurt me. Paisley is afraid to sit beside me. The servants report me movements, and ye have turned our marriage bed into a watch post.”
“I cannae ignore danger because ye dislike the precautions.”
“What danger, Oscar?” Ceana demanded. “What do ye believe will happen if I climb the stairs, keep a ledger, or hold yer children?”
His fingers curled around the edge of the desk. His mouth opened, then closed. For a man who had rules for every hour, he had absolutely no name for the fear governing them.
“If ye keep me trapped in the name of savin’ me, Oscar, ye will lose me again.”
Oscar swallowed, unable to say anything else.