Chapter 2 #2
“Yes, she’s an adorable baby, isn’t she?” Funnily enough, Shayna and Andy shared nearly the exact same shade of blond hair. His was longer, but she still had plenty. Pixie brushed a finger over the fair silky strands. “Do you ever put bows in her hair?”
Brogan gave her an incredulous look. “How? She doesn’t have enough of it for that.”
“They make little bows that attach without clips.”
He frowned. “Attach how?”
“Nothing painful, I promise.” She couldn’t keep her grin at bay. “I would never suggest you do anything that—”
“Right. Sorry. I just …” He gave a dubious glance at Shayna’s wispy locks. “Bows, huh?”
Everything about Brogan was somehow refreshing. “A headband would be cute, too.”
In a teasing tone, he said, “You telling me no one will know she’s a girl if I don’t give her ribbons?”
Pixie huffed a laugh. “Of course not. She’s beautiful either way.
I was just curious. Because Andy’s eyelashes are long, some people thought he was a girl.
It didn’t matter what he wore.” Carefully, she slipped the tiny sock back on Shayna’s foot.
“When I was pregnant, I used to daydream about the things I’d buy my baby if I had endless funds.
At the time, I didn’t know whether I’d have a boy or a girl, so I looked at cute overalls and soft dresses, lacy socks and ball caps. And yes, sometimes ribbons.”
“Were you disappointed to have a boy?”
She smiled at Andy. “The second I held him, I knew he was perfect. I’ve never known anything like that.”
Brogan went quiet; then he stood. “Let’s move this to the living room and more comfortable seats.” He offered his hand.
For a mere second, Pixie hesitated; then she slipped her hand into his. She felt rough calluses and the heat of his palm as his hand entirely engulfed hers.
Even after he released her, the awareness stayed as if all her nerve endings had centered in her fingers and were now hyper-aware. He, however, had already moved on to other matters.
“Which of these monkeys do you want?” He no sooner asked than he decided.
“Tell you what, Andy already has a stranglehold on me, so how about you get Shayna? I’ll get a quilt to put on the floor, along with a few toys, and then we can talk while we keep an eye on the kids.
” He strode off, her son in his arms, leaving her alone with Shayna.
Pixie would have been alarmed to let Andy out of her sight, except she knew the minuscule size of the house. From one end to the other, Andy couldn’t really be far from her.
She took Shayna from the basket, amazed at her slight weight, now that she was used to the sturdy size of her son. Andy was big for his age and probably weighed fifteen pounds more than the tiny girl. “You’re light as a feather, aren’t you?”
When Shayna grabbed a hank of her hair, Pixie winced. “Oops. I’d forgotten all about grabby little fists. And damp, too.” Carefully, she removed her hair from the baby’s fingers, and then put it behind her shoulder.
In the living room, Brogan still held Andy as he flipped open a heavy quilt. “Does she need a diaper change?”
Pixie shrugged. “Doesn’t seem to.”
“Good. I fed and changed her right before her nap.” He put Andy down to explore a bag of soft toys and came to get Shayna.
“She’s getting good at rolling over, but she doesn’t usually go too far.
” He took the baby, gave her several soft smooches—on her head, her cheek, her hand, and her tummy—and then put her on the blanket with a soft rattle.
“I have to fight myself not to hold her all the time,” he said as he stepped into the kitchen to get their drinks.
“The pediatrician said she needs plenty of tummy time to learn physical stuff, so I’m trying to remember that.
” He carried the colas to the living room, with napkins, placed them on the coffee table, and took the chair adjacent to the love seat.
“Thank you.”
With a nod, he sat forward, his forearms on his knees. “I wanted to clear up some confusion.”
Brogan couldn’t possibly know her intimate thoughts about him, but still she felt her face go hot. There was no way he’d miss her blush, but fortunately he was watching the kids.
Andy picked up each toy, examined it, and then carefully placed it in front of Shayna. She now had a whole stack of colorful items to interest her. It was so cute that Pixie started to relax.
“She’s not my daughter.”
Surprise jerked her attention back to Brogan. “She’s not?”
He shook his head. “She’s my niece. My sister passed away, but she had me listed as Shayna’s guardian.” The flexing of his jaw showed his discomfort. “Half sister, actually. I didn’t know her that well.”
Words were impossible to find, so Pixie reached out and put her hand on his wrist. His gaze darted from the kids to where she touched him. Seconds ticked by, with neither of them moving. Abruptly, he patted her hand and then sat back—out of reach.
Awkwardness descended on them. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
After a deep inhale and slow exhale, he further explained.
“It’s complicated, but the basics are that my father cheated with my mother and I was born.
He was already married and had a two-year-old daughter with his wife.
I wasn’t a part of their lives. Overall, I imagine he wanted to forget I existed because my birth nearly caused his divorce. ”
Irritation hit Pixie. “His cheating nearly caused it.”
Surprised at her outburst, Brogan lifted his brows, then shrugged. “Same result. I was born and there was strife.”
“It’s not the same at all.” She realized she was overreacting and attempted to level her tone.
She had personal experience with a cheater, and she thanked God every day that Andy hadn’t been viewed in an unfavorable way by those involved.
“Sorry, it’s just … There’s an important distinction between what a grown man does and the existence of an innocent child. ”
He lowered his head in agreement. “My point is that Brian, my father, wanted no part of me, and his wife despised me. My sister, though, found out about me when she was fifteen and secretly looked me up.”
“That’s enterprising for a girl so young. Did you live nearby?”
“Same state, but not at all close. She was two years older than me, and we talked online until she was seventeen. Then she got a bus ticket and came to see me.” His gaze lowered, but a small smile touched his mouth.
“Shocked the hell out of me. Connie had no business being in my neighborhood, but she was used to being safe and didn’t feel at all threatened. ”
Used to being safe. Meaning Brogan hadn’t been afforded the same sense of security? “It was a dangerous area?”
“Not so much for me, but for a pretty stranger? I practically shouted her back onto a bus, then rode with her to a diner. We talked until late that night.”
He would have been thirteen, and even then, he’d been protective. “I bet that was nice.”
“Would have been, but her phone was blowing up with texts and calls from our father and her mother. When they found out where she was …” He frowned, then changed the direction of the conversation. “Over the next few years, I only talked to her a few times.”
Sadness squeezed Pixie’s heart. She could guess what had happened without Brogan’s explanation. “She was reaching out and you weren’t reciprocating?”
That severe frown of his settled into confusion. “How do you figure that?”
“I don’t know, but I’m right, aren’t I?”
He rubbed his brow, then ran his fingers over his short hair. “I was working a lot, and I didn’t have time for her.”
She was willing to bet his father had warned him off, and God, how she wished she could kick the man for being so cruel. “Are you close to your father—”
“Hell no,” he said, clearly forgetting about curse words. “Don’t even want to be. That’s the thing, though. When Connie died, no one could reach me. I was … out of touch. It took too long for me to find out about Shayna, and as soon as I did, I made plans to get to her.”
Pixie noticed the deepening of his breathing. He stood, went to the baby, checked her diaper, moved some of the toys Andy had arranged around her so she could turn over, and smoothed his hand over Andy’s head.
When he finished, he just stood there a minute, his back to Pixie, and she knew he was struggling with some strong emotion. She practically felt it.
“She hadn’t been treated well,” he said at last.
Shock left her floundering. Who mistreated an infant?
Because she couldn’t sit still, Pixie left the seat to stand near Brogan. He’d made his preference clear, so she didn’t touch him again, but she, too, felt compelled to look at Shayna.
Such a tiny little girl, innocent and so fragile.
Pixie’s thoughts churned over the idea that anyone would be less than attentive and caring to her.
She’d known from the second Andy was born that she would take on the world for him, beg, borrow, or steal to see that he had the care he needed.
To protect him, she’d have battled Satan himself.
As she watched Shayna reach for a soft toy, her tiny fingers awkwardly grasping, Pixie accepted that she felt the same about any child.
The baby rolled to her back and busily chewed on a yellow terry cloth bear, babbling indistinguishable sounds and occasionally smiling at her own ingenuity.
“She looks happy now,” Pixie said softly. “Safe and loved with you.”
His inhale was audible, his shoulders tense. What a nightmare he must have lived through. Her instinct was to hug him tight, but of course she didn’t. She couldn’t.
He didn’t want her to.
“I think my son is ready to doze off now.” Andy was stretched out on his stomach, staring at Shayna, a toy clutched in each hand. His eyes were half closed and his mouth slightly open. “Maybe we should get out of your hair.”
His gaze landed on her. “I’m sorry.”
“I understand.”