Chapter 3 #4
While he pulled a T-shirt from the back of the stroller, he asked, “Do you walk every night?”
“Most nights,” she said, doing her best not to look at his chest or shoulders.
“I want to make sure Andy gets some outside time on the days I work. If it’s raining, we sit on the enclosed porch and listen to the storm.
” Pixie looked around the area. “It’s so peaceful here, without much traffic, since there are only our homes on this stretch of road.
Sometimes fishermen come by on the lake, and even when they whisper, I can hear them. ”
“It is nice,” Brogan agreed. Acting as if he weren’t covering battle scars, he pulled the shirt on over his head and tugged it down.
Pixie was mesmerized. The cotton stuck to him in some places and fell loose in others.
“Haven’t seen a colorful sunset yet, but it’s still pretty.” He lifted the hem of the shirt to dry his face. “I should get going. I need to shower and then give Sugar her bath so we can both settle in. I read that keeping to a schedule makes it easier on the kid. What do you think?”
Without putting much thought into it, Pixie answered honestly.
“I like a schedule because it makes it easier on me. I don’t want to be too rigid, though.
Life has a way of changing your plans, you know?
Instead, I try to set up a routine. Snack, bath, clean his teeth, read, and then bedtime.
That way, even if we’re running late, I can get him back on track with all or part of his routine. ”
“Sounds like training,” he said with a half smile.
“With flexibility,” she agreed. “Like when you had to change Shayna’s diaper in the car.” She suspected a man of his ability could improvise at any time.
He nodded. “Gotta know how to make do with what you have on hand.”
The conversation had run its course, and now both kids were chattering, but mostly at each other. It was so cute, as if they had their own language. Andy tried to show Shayna a bird, but she just continued to stare at him adoringly.
“You made a big splash in the town,” Pixie thought to say.
Though he didn’t actually move, it felt as if he took two big steps back—away from her. “What do you mean?”
Uh-oh. His frown isn’t exactly encouraging. Pixie measured her words, finding the best possible way to describe the rabid interest he’d stirred. “Several people favorably mentioned seeing you.”
The concerned frown didn’t lift. “I don’t know why. I mostly kept to myself while I ran my errands.” He added, “I wasn’t rude.”
“Of course not.”
“But I didn’t go out of my way to chat with anyone, either. Well, except you, but that’s because I already know you, and for as long as I’m here, you’re my neighbor.”
Unsure why the impression he’d made would bother him so much, Pixie asked, “Is it a problem that you were noticed?”
He ran a hand over his short hair, then realized that the sun was on Shayna. He adjusted the stroller to be sure she was shaded by the canopy, but could still see Andy. “I wasn’t out to make friends,” he finally said. “I’m here to help ease Shayna’s adjustment.”
“And your own?” He’d said Shayna was nearly two months old before he’d found her. He hadn’t had a lot of time yet to acclimate to being a caregiver to an infant.
The lifting of one hard shoulder was answer enough. “Honestly, I’d rather be ignored. I want my private life to stay private. How or why I have Shayna isn’t anyone’s business.”
“No one questioned it. Everyone assumes you’re her father.
” Mostly, people had been curious about his marital status.
“Brogan, you have to realize that …” What?
You’re incredibly delicious and everyone is going to notice?
No, she couldn’t say that. “You’re a big guy, and not an ogre, right?
People, especially women, are going to take note of you.
” There, that sounded neutral enough, completely logical and not at all interested.
He shook his head. “I’d rather they ignore me. My focus is on her, you know?” He nodded at Shayna. “On getting this parenting gig figured out, getting her on a routine, like you said.”
“And taking care of yourself, too.” After all, he was out jogging—showing off all that awesomeness. Not on purpose maybe, but Pixie felt certain anyone else would have had the same difficulty keeping their gaze on his face.
“It’s a win-win, if I can get in some exercise and she gets fresh air.”
“Agreed.” After all, that was Pixie’s reason for being out and about, too. “I hope Andy and I aren’t complicating things for you.”
“No,” he replied quickly. “That is, I don’t want a lot of friends, though I plan to be friendly.”
“Okay.”
“Relationships complicate things.”
“They do.”
“But you have a baby, so I feel like I can learn from you.”
That was great. Since she was a mom, he saw her as a teacher, not a woman. Pixie forced a smile. “I’m happy to help, however I can, no pressure at all.” To salvage her pride, she added, “Like you, I’m busy enough already and don’t need the hassle of a relationship.”
The second the words left her mouth, she felt ridiculous. Here in Bramble, she didn’t have to worry about hot dates because the aging population made that impossible. There were no young, handsome, sensitive, and caring bachelors around, except on the weekends and she wasn’t into two-day flings.
Even if a suitable guy lived nearby, few men would want to get involved with the mother of an active toddler.
Determined to make her point, she forged on. “Between being a mom, working at the shop, and creating my freelance designs, I don’t have enough free time for anything too involved.”
“Perfect,” Brogan said; then he backtracked. “Not that you’re so busy—I didn’t mean that. Sounds like you have your hands full.”
She backtracked, too. “I’m not too busy to … have an acquaintance.”
For some reason, that made him frown, but he looked more bemused than annoyed. “You’re young and attractive. I was concerned that I’d be cutting into your date time.”
“Ha!” Hearing that obnoxious sound leave her, Pixie slapped a hand over her mouth.
Good grief, she shouldn’t sound so incredulous.
Brogan couldn’t know that she’d ruined any chance for romantic socializing.
“That is,” she said, her tone now more moderate, “I don’t really date.
” Going for a blasé attitude, she added, “No time, you know. Like I said, busy, busy.”
His penetrating gaze moved over her face, those gray eyes seeming far too perceptive until he finally gave a nod. “Well, I should get Sugar home. The way the sun’s setting, it’s going to be tough to keep it out of her eyes.”
She kept her smile pinned in place. “Same here.” They turned together to walk, and the mom in her fretted. “You put sunscreen on Shayna, of course.”
Nodding, he said, “I found some made for babies.”
“Good.” They walked on, but Pixie had nothing else to say. Not that her silence mattered.
Andy kept up a steady stream of conversation with Brogan. They discussed animals, Shayna, and friendship. He spoke to Andy in a no-nonsense way. Not baby talk, but not complicated adult talk, either. He kept his sentences simple, like, “A bluebird,” and “You saw deer?” along with, “Your baby, huh?”
Andy loved it and chattered back—until Shayna sneezed. That drew all his attention. He said, “Oh! My baby.”
Brogan fought a laugh, which had his mouth twisting in a funny way. “Just a sneeze, bud. She’s okay.”
He kept pointing. “Baby … seez.”
“Sneeze,” Brogan enunciated slowly for him.
“Seez.”
“Yeah, good job.” He ruffled Andy’s hair, then leaned around to check on Shayna, and said, “Oops, she’s drooling.” He used the edge of her blanket to clean her chin.
She was such a happy little baby, making noises and moving her legs and smiling with joy. Seeing her made Pixie happy, too. When it was time to go down their driveway, Andy insisted on hugs for Brogan, and kisses for Shayna.
Brogan was great, of course. Now that he wore his shirt, he took Andy from his stroller—with permission from her first—and held him close to Shayna so the little boy could kiss her head.
Then he carried Andy against his shoulder while pushing Shayna’s stroller one-handed until they reached her front door.
He didn’t linger after putting Andy down. “Have a good night, you two.”
“You as well,” Pixie said.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Her day off was reserved for him. “Noon. We’ll be there.” She kept hold of Andy’s hand so he couldn’t race after Brogan as he left. It was going to be a problem, how much he liked Brogan and Shayna.
Could she, in good conscience, let him get even more attached?
But at this point, did she really have it in her to deny him … or herself? Probably not.
It was a sad realization, but she was starved for male attention.
Until Brogan had smiled at her, she hadn’t even considered it.
She’d been a shy girl in school, horribly backward and unfashionable.
If a teacher called on her, she blushed.
Getting her first job was an ordeal, but she’d made herself do it because there’d been no other option.
Day to day, she’d gotten by—feeling awkward, mostly invisible.
Until Dylan.
Andy’s father had opened the doors to a whole new world, and she’d gloried in every moment of the attention, the generous gestures … the joys of sex. She couldn’t say if she’d really loved him, but she’d certainly loved the idea of him. Of them.
And then she’d gotten pregnant, found out he was married, and her entire world had crashed down around her.
Her perfect relationship had been one giant, earth-shattering, humiliating lie. He hadn’t loved her. Probably hadn’t even liked her. All he’d done was use her—and she’d allowed it, because she’d been a fool.
Pixie realized she had tensed up and her stomach felt twisted, as it always did when she recalled what a panicked, lost, humiliated person she’d been. Slowly, she inhaled, blew out her breath, and flexed her shoulders.
It wasn’t fair to Andy to dwell on that ugly episode of her life. This was his time. Everything was for him.
After all, the payoff—her sweet baby boy—was more than worth the hell she’d gone through. Plus, she’d learned some valuable lessons. She was wiser now, better equipped for life both financially and emotionally, and she had Andy. He was her world.
How she’d gotten there really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. She’d call her life today a win every time.
Where Brogan was concerned, she decided to get through the next few days, and then she’d reevaluate. With a plan in mind, she bathed Andy, cleaned his teeth, and then read to him until he nodded off. Gently, she placed him in his crib.
After a kiss on his head, she got into her own bed.
Alone, the same way she planned to do for the rest of her life.
With that dismal thought, she knew she wouldn’t sleep yet, so instead she got out her sketch pad and a few pencils, then used her phone to search different fonts. She’d create for a while and hopefully she’d soon be able to get Brogan out of her thoughts.