Chapter 4 #2
A sort of tingling awareness had Pixie looking up into Brogan’s warm gaze. He had a look on his face that was … She couldn’t define it. Full of tenderness, but yearning, too, and possibly a touch of fear. That didn’t make any sense to her. She couldn’t imagine Brogan being afraid of anything.
“Guess that’s my cue to stop shopping,” Brogan said quietly. He smiled down at Andy. “Want to play while we check out?”
Andy happily accepted the book with easy-to-push buttons on each page for animal sounds. Pixie leaned close to him. “Say thank you.”
He gave Brogan a big grin complete with eyes squinted tight. “Tank you.”
The registers were busy and it took another fifteen minutes to get through the line.
By the time they were headed out to the car, she knew everyone had made note of the fact that Brogan held Andy and pushed a cart full of purchases, while she carried Shayna.
She countered their assumptions by avoiding eye contact with the onlookers whenever she could, and when necessary, she introduced Brogan as a renter whom she was helping to get settled.
Brogan’s quiet manner only spiked curiosity, and gossip spread like wildfire.
Even Marlow and Cort heard, which meant she got a call that night.
She’d just gotten Andy to sleep when her phone buzzed. To keep from waking him, she hurried from the room before she answered the call.
“Hey, Marlow.”
Marlow huffed. “Don’t play coy. Tell me everything.”
“About …?” Of course, Pixie had a good idea what she meant, but still, she wouldn’t volunteer anything until she fully understood Marlow’s interest.
“You, the hot new guy, gallivanting around town all cozy like …”
“Like what?”
“A little family.” Quickly, Marlow rushed on. “That’s what everyone is saying.”
“I was worried about that.”
“Is it true? Did you spend the day with him?”
“It’s only a little true.” Barefoot, in a big T-shirt and panties, Pixie paced through the living room and then out to the enclosed porch.
She left the interior lights off so that if anyone was fishing on the lake, they couldn’t see her.
Dropping onto a padded seat, she curled her legs up and rested her chin on her knees.
“I was just showing Brogan around town, but it turned into a shopping spree for his little girl. It’s so sweet how he dotes on her.
I swear if she makes a sound, he’s on it, making sure she’s comfortable, that her diaper is dry.
The funny thing is, he gives almost as much attention to Andy. ”
“Well,” Marlow said, as reasonable as could be, “Andy is a precious little guy. No one, not even big, badass SEALs, can resist his charm.”
Pixie laughed. “I guess so, given all the attention he gets. And he sure knows how to ham it up, especially for Brogan. Did I tell you that he’s decreed Shayna as his baby? Over and over again, he states: My baby. I’m starting to worry what will happen when Brogan leaves.”
Marlow gave a very cryptic “Hmm,” before saying, “Kids are amazingly adaptable. He’ll have you to give him plenty of attention, and of course Cort and me. We miss you guys, by the way. I wish we could all take a vacation together.”
Someday, Pixie thought. “We miss you, too, but I’m so glad you’re getting some downtime. No one deserves it more.”
“Have I told you lately how proud I am of you?”
“All the time,” Pixie whispered with emotion. Marlow had been her biggest supporter in her journey to improve her life. “I wouldn’t be here without you.”
“Baloney. I’ve never seen a more determined young woman in my entire life. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did, and I think you’re amazing. I hope Mr. Hot Stuff realizes it, too.”
“Marlow,” she cautioned. “The man is only here for a vacation. He’ll leave at the end of his lease.”
“Maybe, but I hope he gives you some sizzling memories before he goes.”
Groaning, Pixie wondered how to derail her friend. She couldn’t talk about this, not even with Marlow … because in truth, she wouldn’t mind a few sizzling memories.
“Hey,” Marlow said, “I need to go. Cort is ready to make our own sizzling memories.”
Pixie laughed, especially when she heard Marlow squeal, which meant Cort was right there, doing something outrageous. “Good night,” she said. “Have fun, and give Cort a hug from Andy and me.”
After they’d ended the call, she still sat there for the longest time, watching the fireflies, thinking things she shouldn’t, and wanting things she hadn’t thought about in a very long time.
Pixie wanted to meet Brogan at the Docker restaurant, thinking that might help quash speculation, and it would be easier than either of them moving car seats from one car to another, but he wanted them to ride together.
He thought it’d be fun for the kids to sit together in the back seat—and it was.
Andy kept up a steady stream of talking while Shayna entertained him with various sounds and squeals and gurgles.
They were highly amused by each other.
She and Brogan didn’t do much talking because they were both so enthralled listening to the kids. She spent much of her time looking into the back seat. He couldn’t do that, but she did catch his small smiles when Andy said something cute or when Shayna gave an extra enthusiastic coo.
As they got closer to the restaurant, though, Pixie felt honor bound to remind him of their shared intent. “You know this dinner is going to ramp up rumors. We’ve been seen together too much.”
Though reflective sunglasses hid his gaze, she saw his brows tweak down. “I guess that’s one of the drawbacks of a small town. People notice everything?”
“For me, it wasn’t a problem. I mean, at first I thought it was, but everyone was so helpful.
” She didn’t want him to think badly of the friends she appreciated, so she explained, “When I first got here, I was”—there was no way to sugarcoat it—“a disaster.” Healthwise, financially, socially, and morally.
“Andy’s dad had died in a car accident, and everything I had was suddenly gone. ”
“You counted on him a lot?”
The sad truth was also embarrassing. “For everything, really. He’d wanted me to quit my job so we could be together more.
He got us an apartment.” One he used only occasionally.
“He bought my car.” She could feel her face heating at her own gullibility.
God, she’d been a fool. “I’d say it was bad planning on my part, except I didn’t have a plan. ”
“Sounds like your plan was to be with him. That doesn’t seem so bad to me.”
Feeling a little sick at what she was about to admit, Pixie shook her head. “I didn’t know it when we started dating, but he was married.”
After a beat of silence, Brogan merely said, “Oh?” without a hint of condemnation.
Not even with surprise. That single word encouraged her to share more, and so she did.
“I had a really difficult pregnancy. I didn’t realize until later just how bad it was, but I was supposed to stay in bed—only I couldn’t. I didn’t have anyone to do anything for me, and after Dylan was gone, I had no way to pay the rent or buy groceries, or … anything.”
“You said it was bad?”
With a small shrug, she admitted, “I almost died.”
He went still, his expression stark. “Thank God you didn’t.”
For once not noticing the scenery, Pixie stared straight ahead. “Even after I had Andy, I was still sick and without a job, but then I had a newborn to take care of.”
She felt his hand close over hers and looked down in surprise.
The sensation of warmth and strength was a revelation.
It brought her out of her dismal memories and put her firmly back in the here and now.
In the small space of the car with Brogan and both kids, the air seemed to thin so that she had to breathe faster.
His thumb brushed over her knuckles. “It proves how strong you are, to recover from all that and still be so nice.”
A sweet ache of yearning and awareness came over her. “I, um, I didn’t feel nice. I felt like the scum of the earth.”
“No, not ever. Don’t say that, okay?” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before releasing her. “It’s not true.”
He didn’t know her well enough to draw that conclusion.
“You don’t understand. I didn’t have any family.
” None that mattered. “There was no one close for me to turn to. I would have done anything for Andy, but the only person I could think to go to …” Even now, the words stuck in her throat.
The feelings of inadequacy, utter failure, almost smothered her at times.
I’m a better person now. Marlow is proud of me. Cort is a dear friend. The townspeople respect me. She gave herself the necessary pep talk far too often.
“Who?” Brogan softly asked, again encouraging her.
She closed her eyes against her own shame and whispered, “I went to Marlow.” It still astounded Pixie, the way things had transpired.
Yes, she’d prayed, and she’d been so hopeful, but never in her wildest dreams had she expected her life to turn out as it had.
“It was an awful thing to do. This is private,” she explained, “so please don’t ever repeat it.
But you see …” She bit her lip, then blurted out the truth.
“Marlow was married to the man who fathered Andy.”
Still, he showed no surprise, just simply nodded. “Did she give you the help you needed?”
No way. Pixie’s eyes rounded. He couldn’t accept the awful things she’d done so easily. Where was his shock? His disbelief?
At the very least, she’d expected him to be disgusted at her audacity.
They’d be at the restaurant any minute now, so Pixie wanted to wrap it up.
“Marlow went above and beyond.” So many times, she’d wanted to brag about Marlow, but the sordid story of her husband’s infidelity wasn’t one that should be bandied around town, so Pixie had never been able to share.
Now here was Brogan, giving her the perfect opportunity to explain the magic of her very best friend.