Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
NATE
“No! Ryder! No!” Boom. “Shit.”
My son screws up his face as if my use of profanity somehow outweighs the fact that sugar now covers nearly every kitchen surface.
“Bad word, Dad.”
“Thanks. I wasn’t aware.”
I pick him up off the chair and crunch through four pounds of granulated sugar. I plunk Ryder on a barstool.
“Stay put,” I tell him. “Seriously.”
He licks his fingers. “That was a tasty accident.”
Great.
“What happened in here?” Paige stands in the doorway, making a face like someone’s probably in trouble. “Yikes.”
“I was trying to make Kool-Aid, the black cherry kind. It’s my fave,” Ryder says.
“It’s your fave? What? Are you sixteen now?” I ask. Who is this kid hanging out with?
He licks his fingers. “Jurnee says that.”
“The book girl?” Paige asks.
He nods. “Yup. She says Freckle Juice is her fave book.” He giggles. “Isn’t that funny?”
I look down at the mess at my feet. “Hilarious.”
Paige comes into the kitchen. She removes the towel from her hair as she approaches Ryder.
“Here. Let’s clean your hands off,” she says.
“No!” He jerks them away from her. “I like it.”
She laughs. “I’m sure you do, but Mrs. Kim isn’t going to want you bouncing off the walls tonight. Remember? You’re supposed to stay over there and play with—”
“Oh! Yeah! I’m supposed to have a sleepover with Mrs. Kim and Jon tonight.” He holds his hands out for Paige. “Mrs. Kim bought us games. Have you heard of Sorry?”
“This kid has a better social life than I do,” I mutter, grabbing the broom and dustpan.
“I have,” Paige says, cleaning the sugar crystals from between Ryder’s fingers. “It’s a lot of fun. I always like to be yellow. It’s the luckiest.”
“Okay. I’ll try to remember that.”
“Ryder, kiddo, let’s leave the Kool-Aid making to me,” I say, propping the broom against the refrigerator. “Like I told you before you grabbed the sugar off the counter.”
“Ugh. It was an accident, Dad.”
Paige stands at the edge of the mess and grins. “Yeah, Dad.”
I smirk. “Doesn’t have the same effect as Daddy.”
“I will never call you that seriously,” she says, laughing.
Ryder plants his hands on the island. “Why would Paige Stage call you Dad? Are we adopting her?”
Paige giggles as a burst of laughter falls from my mouth. Oops.
“Didn’t I already explain that I can’t be adopted again?” she asks him. “I have a mom and a dad.”
“Oh.” Ryder tilts his head to the side and watches me brush the sugar from the counters onto the floor. “Well, that’s good, I guess.”
Paige pulls her phone out of her pocket. “Hey, speaking of my mom, this is her. I’ll be right back.” She disappears around the corner.
I sweep the sugar into a pile and then onto the dustpan. It takes a solid four loads to get it into the trash can. There will be sugar crystals lurking for a week.
Ryder climbs across the counter and grabs two spoons. He entertains himself by using them as drumsticks against the island.
I think back to the text I got from Troy earlier today, asking me if I wanted to hang out with him and his brother Travis to watch a game tonight. I happily told him no.
There’s nowhere else I want to be other than here with Paige and Ryder. It’s wild. Will I ever want to hang out with them again? Sure. But right now, all I want is in these four walls.
Dinnertime has gone from being my least favorite hour of the day to my favorite one.
It used to be a chore. We were both tired from the day, hungry, and thinking about doing other things.
But now it’s fun. Paige and Ryder have dance contests.
They look up random facts about whatever we’re making or plan out the next night’s menu together.
It’s fun. It’s easy. It’s natural.
Maybe we’re a family in the making.
I grin.
“Sorry about that,” Paige says, coming back into the kitchen. “Wow. You work fast.”
“Or you talked long to avoid having to help me,” I tease.
She gasps. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“I would,” Ryder deadpans.
Paige snorts. “So what do you want me to do?”
Ride my cock. She must read my thoughts because she waggles her eyebrows. I have to turn away before things start to spiral.
“Get the chicken out of the fridge for me,” I say as I pull out the spices. “Was your mom good?”
“Yeah. She’s coming to town next weekend. She wants to meet Hollis.” She opens the fridge and takes out the chicken. “Would, um, would you want to meet her?”
I set the paprika down. Wow. Okay. I exhale.
I look at her over my shoulder. She’s nibbling her bottom lip and looking at me like she might either take off running or burst into tears.
“Do you want me to?” I ask her.
She pauses, holding my gaze for so long that I’m not sure what she’s going to say. The silence causes my stomach to twist into a painful knot.
Finally, she frees her lip. “Yes. I would. If you want to, that is.”
I reach for her, then stop. Ryder.
She nods as if she understands.
We’re going to have to readdress the Ryder situation. This not touching her stuff isn’t going to work much longer.
My spirits soar at her admission that she would like me to meet her mother. For Paige, I think that’s huge. And I’m certain this is a good sign.
“I would love to meet as many people in your life as you’d let me,” I tell her.
She heaves a breath, looking relieved. Did she consider that I might say no? Silly girl.
Paige sets the chicken on the counter, lingering next to it.
“So,” she says, “I had another call while I was talking to Mom.”
I raise a brow. “From who?”
She taps the counter before walking around the island next to Ryder. I turn as she moves, following her with my eyes. What’s she getting at?
“I looked at an apartment the other day with Kinsley,” she says carefully, playing with Ryder’s hair. “The lady called me back to offer me a lease.”
She fucking what?
If the paprika was still in my hand, I would’ve dropped it.
“A lease?” I ask. “For what?”
She swallows. “Well, to live there. I don’t know what other kind of leases there are besides a car lease, and I don’t need one of those.”
I don’t say anything to her. She can’t be serious.
“It’s pretty cheap,” she says, not meeting my eyes. “And in a super-safe neighborhood, which is great. It’s a one-bedroom, so no more roommate crap to deal with, and it’s above a little coffee shop that has the best—”
“Paige.”
When she finally looks into my eyes, I see what’s going on.
She’s scared.
She doesn’t know what I’m going to say or what I expect her to do.
We’ve never specifically addressed this issue—which is stupid in retrospect.
It never occurred to me because, in my head, she’ll never leave.
But in her head, the person who doesn’t live here, of course she’d be right to worry.
I never offered her a permanent place here.
And I hate that I didn’t think about that. I should’ve.
Ryder sets his spoons down. “Who is living there? I don’t understand.”
I also hate that we’re having this conversation in front of him. But maybe it’s easier this way. Maybe now is the time.
Paige’s eyes don’t leave mine. “Maybe me.”
“What?” Ryder scrambles to turn around.
The barstool wobbles, and Paige plucks him off the seat before it falls over. He holds on to her neck, hanging off her like a sloth. It would be funny if my heart wasn’t in my throat.
“But you live here,” he says, squishing her cheeks with his sticky hands. “You live with us.”
Her lips are pressed together like a fish. Her eyes get cloudy.
“Yeah,” I say, my voice raw. “You live here with us.”
“Do you not like us anymore?” Ryder asks her, holding her face in front of him like his life depends on it.
“I like you, Paige Stage. I don’t want you to leave us.
You make the best pancakes—even better than my dad’s.
And you play cars with me. And you read me books and do all the voices. Please don’t find another house.”
I walk over to them and pry my son off her. “Come on, buddy. You’re probably hurting her face.”
“I didn’t mean to,” he says, his voice two octaves higher than normal. Panic rips through his eyes. “You aren’t really leaving, are you?”
Paige looks at me, batting her eyelashes to hold back her tears. I can’t help it. I reach for her and pull her into my side.
“Why don’t you just stay here?” Ryder says, talking faster. “Stay here and just move your stuff into Dad’s room because you go there every night anyway, and that way, you don’t have to go back and forth, and you’ll sleep better. Probably. But Dad snores.”
I chuckle. Guess we weren’t so sneaky after all.
Paige touches Ryder’s face but leaves her gaze on me.
“I want to be the guy who tells you to follow your heart,” I say carefully. “But I can’t do that because if your heart tells you to do anything but stay here with us, then that’s the wrong answer.”
She buries her face into my chest.
I close my eyes and hold the two people I love most in the world. Because I do. I love her.
She came into our life like a train wreck, imposing herself into our lives. But somewhere along the way, we became a unit. The three of us blended together and carved out something fucking perfect.
A family.
This is what I want for my son. To hell with maturity and stability although Paige isn’t immature or unstable. I want someone fun, someone strong, someone who will play cars with him and read him books.
Someone who will make him feel loved.
If anyone knows the importance of that, it’s Paige. After everything she’s been through in her life, she understands how the love of an adult can change a child’s life. She understands how not receiving love from an adult can impact a life.
And I think she might not just be falling for me, but my child too.
That’s a total slam dunk.
I kiss the top of her head. “Will you stay with us? It doesn’t have to be forever—”
“Yes, it does.” Ryder climbs off me and hangs off her neck. He puts his nose right against hers, making her laugh. “You have to stay here forever because I love you, Paige Stage. All right? More than I love the Camaro, and that’s a lot.”
Paige and I laugh. It makes Ryder smile too.
He slides down her and then climbs back up on his stool. “Can we get back to dinner now? I’m hungry.”
I twist my girl in my arms and look down at her. Her eyes are bright and clear. They’re happy.
“For what it’s worth,” I say softly. “I love you too.”
Her eyes go wide. “You do?”
“Paige, how could I not? I would’ve told you before, but I was afraid you’d freak out. But my man Ryder here gave me an opening.”
She moves us so that my back is to Ryder. Her hand cups my cock through my jeans and squeezes.
“I’ll give you another opening if you need one,” she whispers.
I growl, making her smile.
She moves her arms back around my waist, letting her hair dangle on my forearms. For the first time—the first real time—she truly relaxes in my arms.
“Guess what?” she says, pressing her lips together.
“What’s that?”
“I love you too.”
I lean down and kiss her, using everything I have in me not to deepen it.
“You love me too, right?” Ryder asks.
We break the kiss and laugh. And somehow, that’s exactly how it should’ve ended.