Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
PAIGE
I groan as I slide into a booth at Paddy’s.
“Are you okay?” Kinsley asks me.
If you only knew.
Memories of Nate from last night flood through my mind. The way he was so alpha, so in control, but ultimately so him.
Damn. It hurts so good.
“I’m great,” I say, needing to focus on the task at hand and not Nate’s actual hands. “What do you think Marcie is going to say?”
Our friend texted our group chat this morning—the one she’d abandoned since the eviction—and asked us to meet her for lunch. We chose Paddy’s as the location. Kinsley and I showed up with curiosity and low expectations.
“I have no idea,” Kinsley says. “She’s radio silent for weeks, and then she comes back with a lunch invite? I’m not sure how to take that.”
I place my napkin on my lap and shrug. “Maybe she just wants to come clean about whatever happened, and she only wants to do it once.”
“That’s a solid suggestion.”
Kinsley looks over my shoulder. I can tell that Marcie is coming our way by the look on Kinsley’s face. For a split second, I wish Kinsley had sat beside me.
Marcie approaches us hesitantly, her bright red curls bouncing. She stops at the table and gives us a tight grin. “Hi, guys.”
“Hey,” we say in unison.
She takes a deep breath and scoots in the booth beside Kinsley.
“Thanks for coming,” she says, setting her purse between her and Kinsley. “I didn’t know how else to try to bandage our friendship, so I figured doing it like this was the fastest and best solution.”
Kinsley looks at me with a well done grin.
“So what’s going on?” I ask. “What in the world happened?”
Before she can answer, the server appears. She takes our drink orders and then retreats.
Marcie fiddles with the edge of her napkin. “This is going to sound so stupid. And I’m humiliated about it and even saying it out loud to you …” She gives us a tight laugh. “I’ve put this off for days.”
“You can tell us anything,” Kinsley says. “We’re your friends, you know.”
Marcie looks at me with tears in her eyes. “And I screwed you over. I could’ve at least given you a heads-up that we had to leave, but I thought I could scramble and get the money, and it wouldn’t be a big deal. Except that’s what I had been doing for weeks.”
“Did you need the money?” I ask. “Because if you needed it, you could’ve just asked us.”
“You should’ve,” Kinsley cuts in. “I mean, we would’ve helped you all we could.”
“But that’s the thing. There’s nothing you could do except make things worse.”
Kinsley and I look at each other.
“Do you remember that girl who I started hanging out with?” Marcie looks at me. “Lorrie. She had long black hair. I brought her to the apartment a couple of times.”
“Yeah. Kind of skeezy. Had that look that made me want to lock up all my valuables? I remember her.”
Marcie sighs. “Well, I met her at a gas station one night. We were both buying lottery tickets—the scratch-off kind. It was late, and we were the only ones in there, and we just struck up a conversation.”
The server sets our drinks in front of us. “Do you know what you want to order?”
We all look at each other. It depends on how this goes.
“Can we get a couple of appetizers?” I ask. “Maybe some cheese sticks and chips with queso? Then we’ll figure out our entrees.”
She grins at me. “Sure. Thanks. I’ll be back with your apps shortly.”
Once she’s gone, Marcie starts again.
“To make a very long and embarrassing story shorter and less anxiety-ridden,” she says, “she introduced me to a world that I didn’t know existed.”
“Like a sex dungeon or something?” I ask.
She laughs. “No. That would’ve been preferred.” Her smile fades, and she cringes instead. “It was gambling.”
“Gambling like my dad does?” Kinsley asks. “He goes to the horse races and stuff. Expensive hobby, as my mother says, but that’s the first thing that came to my mind.”
“I mean, it’s the same theory,” Marcie says.
“But it started on a basketball game. I was super lucky and hit it big—like I tripled my money on one game. That somehow hooked me. I thought it was easy. I was betting every game every week. I’d lose and then bet more because I had to make that up, and it was only going to take one big one to get me even again.
Eventually, I was in so deep that there was no getting even. ”
Kinsley puts a hand on her shoulder. “I had no idea.”
“How could you? It’s not like I was physically any different.
It was just … bank account different. And that’s why it’s so dangerous.
You can’t look at someone and know they’re pissing their money away on a basketball game.
It just becomes this addiction, really. You wait for the high that comes with winning.
All your problems will go away if you can only hit one more time. ” She frowns. “Except you don’t.”
My heart hurts for her. Marcie used to be so confident and walked around like she owned the place. So to see her sitting meekly next to us and having the courage to admit her problems out loud—that means a lot.
“You’re okay now? You don’t have any bookies coming after you or anything, right?” I ask.
She shakes her head, grinning. “No. I’m okay. I mean, I lost everything I had, but thankfully, my parents have been super helpful and understanding. They’re helping me get back on my feet, getting me some help with this gambling beast that I now battle.”
“You’re going to be fine,” I say. “You’re strong, and admitting the problem is half the battle, right?”
“Well, it’s hard not to admit you have a problem when you come home and you’ve been locked out.”
“That’s true.” I smile at her. “Things will be okay.”
She looks at me, then Kinsley.
“So you guys aren’t writing me off then?” Marcie asks.
“Only if you eat all of that queso,” Kinsley jokes as the server sets the appetizers in front of us.
Marcie sits a little taller. “Thanks. You guys are so good to me.”
There really isn’t a choice but to forgive.
That’s something that’s been modeled to me for years.
Well, since I’ve lived with the Carmichaels.
Those brothers of mine have needed constant forgiving over the years.
Constant. Marcie and Kinsley are like sisters to me.
I’ve treasured their friendship for the past almost year, and I have leaned on them time and time again.
That means—second chances. And if I’m very honest, life has taken the best turn because of her situation.
I reach for a cheese stick. “Well, I can’t be mad at you. I don’t know if I ever would’ve landed where I did without a push. Or an eviction. Either way.”
Kinsley laughs. “Oh, do we have a story for you, Marcie.”
My insides tighten as I prepare to say Nate’s name. It feels different now that we’re a couple, now that Ryder knows what happened.
Now that he’s eaten a cherry soaked in my juices.
He’s not just Nate anymore. He’s my Nate. The guy who I go home to. The guy I can call if I have a flat tire—and he will come. The guy who will get me a pudding cup in the middle of the night and not be irritated when I eat it in bed.
There’s something really meaningful in that.
“So” I say, shifting in my seat. “Do you know Nate Hughes?”
“Your boss?”
I nod.
“I stayed with him after the eviction,” I say, setting my cheese stick down on a plate. “And now we’re a couple.”
Marcie looks like I just told her the Earth is flat.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“She means she’s living there, sleeping in his bed, making dinner with his kid. That’s what she means,” Kinsley says.
“Paige. Are you serious?” Marcie asks.
“Yeah. Why? Why are you looking at me like that?”
She lifts a brow and takes a chip out of the basket. “No reason besides the fact that it’s you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, borderline offended.
Kinsley sits back in the booth, her eyes wide.
“I’m sorry, Paige. I didn’t mean it like that,” Marcie says. “I’m just saying … I’ve known you for, what, a year? Close to it? And you’ve always been so anti-this.”
My hackles raise even though I know she’s not being mean. I lean against the table.
“Maybe because I didn’t know that it could be like this,” I say. “I’ve never had a nice guy before—someone who takes care of me. That loves me.”
“Loves you?” Kinsley says. “Okay. That’s progress I didn’t know.”
I fire her a look to hush and then focus back on Marcie.
“We’re taking it slow,” I say, defensive. “He understands what I’ve been through and how I feel about long-term commitment.”
“Does he, though? Because you’re living there, making dinner with his kid, and he loves you. That doesn’t sound slow or like a fling that might end tomorrow.” She dips her chip in the queso. “I’m happy for you. You know I am. I’m just shocked. That’s all.”
Marcie and I have stayed up countless nights talking about things like this. About our lives, our past, our hopes and dreams. And while I’ve never really told her about what happened to me, I’m sure she can piece together enough to get a decent picture.
To hear her tell me she’s shocked that I’ve made this move with Nate hurts my heart. I want her to be happy for me. And I’m sure she is, in a way, but why is she acting like this is a bad decision?
Kinsley sits up and eyes me carefully. “Paige is really happy. I think this is a good call.”
Marcie takes a bite of the chip. “I’m not saying it’s not.
I’m just saying that it’s hard to see her go from a girl who maybe dates a guy for six weeks tops to playing stepmom to a little boy.
Maybe if I was here to see it all go down, I’d feel differently.
But just stepping in now at the end … I just want to make sure she’s not living in la-la land before it’s too late. ”
“This isn’t la-la land,” I fire back.
She leans forward until her chest is pressed against the table.
“I love you, Paige. But I know what it feels like to be in a honeymoon phase in a relationship … or a gambling addiction.” She rolls her eyes.
“It’s fun at first. The world is your oyster.
You can forget all the consequences that are coming because it feels so good at the moment.
All the boundaries you’ve set up, your ability to reason and use logic—it all goes out the door.
And then one day you wake up, and the honeymoon is over …
and you owe someone a lot of money. Proverbially, of course. ”
I level my gaze with Marcie. “You know what? You’re coming across really shitty right now, and I don’t appreciate it. Our situations are vastly different.”
“I didn’t mean to be shitty, Paige. I’m sorry.”
“I would hope not, considering how kind I’ve been to you.”
“So where are you staying now?” Kinsley asks Marcie, not wanting to see fireworks.
I tune out their back and forth, not caring at the moment where Marcie is staying. Her words ring through my mind.
I’m still using logic. I’m able to reason. Nate and I have communicated, and he understands my need to take things slow, just like I understood his need to protect Ryder.
“You have to stay here forever because I love you, Paige Stage.”
My heart swells in my chest, and I look at Marcie.
She might’ve gotten in too deep with the wrong people, but I did not. I might be falling hard for a man and a little boy who already mean so much to me, but that’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.
I know it. I feel it in my soul.
My phone dings, and I look down. “Hey, I need to take this, okay?”
Marcie and Kinsley continue their conversation as I scooch off my seat and walk outside.
The air is warm and filled with the scent of cinnamon from Judy’s bakery a few doors down. I should really get a donut.
Instead of comforting myself with a pastry, I open my text app.
Banks: Heard you have a boyfriend.
I grin. Just the distraction I needed.
Me: Mom has a big mouth.
Banks: I think she wants me to get the scoop—the real one. The one you won’t tell her.
Me: Oh, you mean that he’s a felon for murdering two women in the Pacific Northwest with a machete and that he kept their heads in a freezer?
Banks: Oddly specific.
Me: We’re great at communicating.
Banks: You know, first impressions are a real thing. And this is his first impression. Text wisely.
I can’t help but laugh.
Me: Fine. He’s great. Very handsome. Owns his own business and works part-time for a security company. He chased a guy off from the bar the other night that was flirting with me and he went after Atticus a couple of months ago.
Banks: For what?
Me: Let’s leave it there.
Banks: Let’s not.
Me: You’re losing sight of the conversation.
My fingers tap against the side of the phone. Bringing up Atticus could go either way, but Banks didn’t like the sound of him from the start … mostly because Atticus answered my phone and that conversation didn’t go well.
Banks: Is he nice to you?
Me: Very.
Banks: Is he willing to meet Mom and Dad?
Me: He’s looking forward to it. He’ll probably cook them dinner.
Note to self: inform Nate of his need to possibly cook my parents dinner.
Banks: What’s his last name?
Me: Hughes. Why?
Banks: No reason. Let him know your brother is one bad motherfucker, and I will kill him and drink his blood from his skull if he missteps. And I don’t give second chances.
Me: I’ll tell him that verbatim. *winking emoji*
Banks: Love you, little sister.
Me: Love you, pain in my ass.
Banks: *flexed bicep emoji*
Me: *eye roll emoji*
I breathe in a long, slow lungful of air.
It’s interesting how different perspectives make you feel.
Banks’s comments come from a true place of love because he’s family. He wants his little sister to be happy. Mom was absolutely delighted to know that I’d found someone who treated me right. But I haven’t ever talked about my past, certainly not my need for safety against the cold things in life.
Marcie’s one of my best friends, but she’s drawing her thoughts from actual conversations we’ve had. Was I that jaded that I’ve never said anything positive about being in a relationship? I’m sure she wants me to be happy too, but do I listen to her voice over the others who are happy for me?
Don’t let Marcie get in your head. You know your relationship with Nate and everything is fine.
“For what it’s worth, I love you too.”
A smile stretches across my face, and I go back inside.