Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
PAIGE
Nate squeezes my hand. Again.
The only time he hasn’t touched me since he picked me up to carry me to the truck was the few seconds it took to walk around to climb in himself.
I’m not complaining.
“Where’s Ryder?” I ask.
Nate chuckles. “That little shit is at home with Mrs. Kim, probably giving her hell.” He glances at me. “He was pissed I didn’t let him come with me.”
I feel my smile in my soul.
“He put me in my place this morning,” he says, shaking his head.
“Did he?”
“Oh, yeah. I mean, he told me he was going to find you. That I was lazy. That he was scared you were out there with monsters.” He grins. “He likes you almost as much as I do.”
That sweet boy. I truly hate that he was hurting, but I love how he fought for me too. Just like his dad.
I try to pull my hand away to scratch my arm. Nate clenches down harder. I’ll live with it.
We drive towards Nate’s house—my house—in the bright, early afternoon sunlight. The rays feel warm against my skin and I lift my chin to the sun to absorb as much as I can.
I feel terrible for what happened and how I handled it. But facing your fears for the first time is always hard, I guess. I’m just thankful Nate came to pick me up, literally, and carry me home.
We pull into the driveway and Nate stops the truck.
“Be ready. Ryder’s probably going to be going a hundred—yup.”
I follow Nate’s gaze to see Ryder racing down the walkway towards the truck. I hop out just in time to catch him mid-jump.
“Paige Stage!” he yells, wrapping his arms around my neck. “I thought you left me forever.”
I meet Nate’s eyes over the hood of the truck.
My whole world has shifted, turned on its axis. I’m still afraid of forever. There’s a voice in the back of my head that whispers that I shouldn’t get comfortable. That the honeymoon phase will end. That I will wind up alone, crying in my bed.
But I’ve already done that and it didn’t help.
Maybe the voice is right. Things will probably get hard. We may fall on hard times or, God forbid, one of us might get sick. But that could happen to me anyway. Besides, the thought of Nate and Ryder battling anything without me kills my soul.
They’re my boys. Both of them.
“Forever?” I ask, holding him tight. “The only thing that’s forever is the three of us. I’m really sorry I left, Ryder Spider. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
He presses a kiss to my cheek before I set him on the ground.
Nate smiles the softest, most tender smile I’ve ever seen on him. And out of all the things he said, and the pancake, and the fact that he came to get me—this is what binds my heart back together.
“I missed you,” Ryder says, tugging on my hand. “I was afraid for you when you didn’t come home. And Dad made breakfast and bleh,” he says, sticking out his tongue. “And he only read me one story last night without the voices like you do.”
I ruffle his hair. “I will read you three books tonight. Sound like a plan?”
He pumps his fists in the air.
Mrs. Kim comes out of the house and walks gingerly down the steps. Her kind face smiles.
“Mrs. Kim,” Ryder says. “Look! Paige Stage Hughes is back!”
“Oh, no,” Nate says, laughing. “Her last name is Carmichael, for the love of God.”
I can’t help it. I laugh. Hard. I laugh so hard that tears fill my eyes.
Mrs. Kim looks at Nate and winks. “Ryder, I’m going to the butcher shop. Do you want to go?”
“Oh, can I?” he asks. “I love it there. They have all these little candies and I’m always really nice and the ladies there let me have a couple.”
“Ooh. Sounds fun,” I say.
He starts towards Mrs. Kim but whips back around to me.
“You will be here when I come back, right?” he asks, his face dead serious.”I’m only leaving you with Dad and, well … ya know.”
I giggle. “Yes, Ryder. I will be here every day when you come home.”
There’s a small scowl on his brow. He’s not convinced. And that makes total sense. He’s been left before … but never again.
“Promise?” he asks. “I don’t want to worry about this.”
I crouch down so I’m at his eye level and take his hands in mine. “I promise you that you have nothing to worry about. I’m here and I will be here. Forever.”
He wraps his arms around my neck again and squeezes me tight. When he pulls back, he smiles.
“I love you so much,” he says. “I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me too buddy. And I love you too. So, so much.”
He marches around the truck towards Mrs. Kim, high-fiving his dad as he walks by. Nate and I laugh.
“Going with her,” he says like a little man. “I’ll be back later.”
Mrs. Kim giggles and follows him across the lawn.
I saunter over to the man dressed in all black, who’s waiting for me by the walkway. He holds a hand out to me.
“Well, what do we do now that we have a house to ourselves?” I ask, placing my hand in his as we walk onto the porch. “Probably have an hour we could kill. Two if Mrs. Kim really loves us.”
“I have already made up my mind.”
His smirk is so smoldering, so sinful, that I blush.
We walk inside and Nate shuts the door. The snap of the lock makes me jump.
His eyes are dark, his jaw tense. He grabs my hips and jerks me to him and kisses me with an intention that leaves little room for speculation.
“You, my lady, are going to get your wish,” he says.
I already have it. “What’s that?”
He reaches under my ass cheeks and hoists me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him with a passion that I didn’t know I could feel.
We move through the house to the kitchen. He sets me gently on the counter.
He pulls back and grins.
“Now you’re going to experience make-up sex,” he says, unfastening his belt.
“Ooh. Okay. Tell me more.”
“I’m going to fuck you until I feel better about you leaving,” he says, unbuttoning his pants. “And then …”
He lifts his eyes to mine. The look in them makes me teary.
The only way to explain it is love. It’s relief and hope and a lifetime’s worth of promises all rolled into a pair of beautiful green eyes.
“And then what?” I ask, my voice soft.
“And then I’m going to take you to the bedroom and show you how much I love you.”
He brushes his lips against mine. They’re soft and sweet—touching me so softly that I barely feel the warmth of his breath. It’s unhurried, as if we’re the only people that exist. Like we have all the time in the world.
I guess we do.
Slowly, he deepens the kiss, nibbling on my bottom lip. The bite sends a shot of energy to my core. His stubble from not shaving the last two days scratches my cheeks as he moves his head for a better angle.
I grab his face with both hands and pull him away far enough to see his eyes.
“Nate?”
“What?”
I smile the biggest, most real smile I’ve ever given anyone—and mean it. “I love you, Nate Hughes. Forever.”
He cups my cheeks and grins. “I love you forever too.”