Chapter 6
Callan realized he had misjudged things deeply.
Getting a favor from her wasn’t going to be enough because he couldn’t be certain she would live long enough to grant that favor.
If even MacPherson’s guards were willing to treat her like that then what would the man himself do?
And how anyone could want to hurt her, such a wee, trembling thing was beyond him.
On the ride back to his hut she was so close to him that he could feel every tremor of fear, every frantic heartbeat, and he could see the stains of tears that flowed upon her cheek. Even when they arrived and dismounted her eyes were bloodshot.
He helped her down from the horse. She was a sorry sight, with her torn dress, arms folded across her body, shoulders rounded.
She gnawed on her lower lip. Her raven hair was tousled and messy as well.
It could have been a lot worse, though. Callan tied the horse to a post and then pushed open the door, waiting for her to enter before him.
She shuffled in and went to sit by the fire, a dazed look on her face.
Callan ran his hand through his hair and touched his lip, wincing at the pain. “I’ll fetch some water,” he said, and grabbed a jug.
He went to the well and quickly returned, handing her a cloth to dip in the bucket.
He had one of his own and squeezed it so the water trailed along his face.
He then wiped his knuckles. The cloth soon became dark with the blood he washed off, the stains of combat.
He would have to change his clothes as well for they were splattered with the blood of the men he’d killed.
Nora gently wiped her face and hands. There was an absent look on her face, as though she wasn’t truly with him. Callan understood what was going through her mind. A traumatic thing like that could be shocking. If she wasn’t careful, she would lose herself to it.
“I ken it’s hard, lass, but try and put it out of yer mind. If ye think about it too long it’ll become a part of ye.”
“Why would they dae that?” she asked, gazing into the hearth. No fire was burning, but he wouldn’t have been surprised had she still seen flames. “I dinnae understand.”
“Sometimes there is nae understanding the things that men dae. Sometimes they’re more like animals.”
“But they’re guards.”
“Aye, but instead of protecting people, they rule them. They take what they want. At the end of the day ye were a beautiful lass among cruel men. It was my fault for letting ye gae with them,” he said, pressing his lips firmly together as he spoke.
The grim feeling of what might have been had he not pursued them loomed in his mind.
“But they served the Laird. How could they take something from him? It’s like they dinnae even care about being punished.”
“That’s the kind of men Laird MacPherson hae in his employ. After that and the village I hope ye see now what kind of man he is. Better ye stay far away from him. Ye might as well be drinking poison,” Callan said bitterly.
Nora leaned forward. Her head dropped.
“I hae tae reach him. It’s the only way my clan will be saved. My brother will make the people suffer if he cannae get respite from the debt. He cannae save them sae I must,” she said.
Callan got the impression that she was saying this not to convince him, but to convince herself. He sighed and stroked his chin. A plan was forming in his mind.
“Will ye take me tae him? I ken ye said he hae different estates. He must be in one of them. I’ll make sure ye are rewarded for yer trouble and I… I dinnae think I would feel safe with another escort,” she added.
Callan tilted his head. Nobody had ever spoken about him in that way before and he wasn’t sure he liked the way it made him feel.
He gulped and ran his hand over the back of his neck.
The Highlands were cruel and she shouldn’t feel safe until she was in a Keep.
She certainly shouldn’t have felt safe with him, especially because he wasn’t who she thought he was.
However, if he were to help her reach her betrothed then he might be able to help her again; cut the throat of her husband and bring an end to his cruel rule.
He could use her to lead him to MacPherson, keep her safe in the process, and nobody would need to live in fear of the cruel Laird anymore.
“Aye, lass, if that’s what ye want,” he said.
Nora exhaled deeply and nodded. He was about to turn away when she asked him a question.
“How can ye dae it?” she asked.
“Dae what?”
“Kill them all and walk away. Dinnae it take something away from ye? Dinnae it stain yer heart?”
“Aye, lass, it probably does, but it was them or ye. When ye live out here ye dinnae hae the luxury of choice. Some men kill because they want tae, and some men kill because they must. It’s the way of things. It certainly is nae pretty, but it needed tae be done,” he said.
Nora nodded. He wasn’t sure she understood. Perhaps there was no way for anyone to understand unless they did it themselves. It did take something out of him every time he killed someone.
As he gazed into the ashes of the hearth he thought about the first man he’d killed, how he’d looked at his hands covered in blood and didn’t think it would ever wash off.
He’d scrubbed and scrubbed them until the skin tore.
Something in him changed in that moment, but he knew that he was the man the world demanded.
Men died all the time, and if they died by his hand they deserved it.
At least that’s what he told himself. It was the only way he could sleep at night.
When he looked down, he saw that Nora had fallen asleep. It was no wonder that she was exhausted after all she had been through. Her hair splayed over her face, and her mouth hung open. At least her beautiful blue eyes were at peace.
He gathered her in his arms again. She did not stir. He carried her to the bed and laid her down gently, brushing errant strands of dark hair away from her face. She nuzzled into the pillow and he retreated from view.
Trouble had a way of following her, but she didn’t yet realize that he was the most trouble of all.
Nora awoke in a fit the following morning.
In her nightmares Brune had his hands on her and she struck out, trying to fend him off.
When she awoke she found herself in Callan’s room again.
Her leg had gotten twisted in the blanket and she kicked it away.
She put her head in her hands and rubbed her eyes, trying to ease the pain that endured in her mind.
Breaths shuddered through her and while she felt well-rested, she knew that the previous day would haunt her.
The only thing she could do was get her life back on track and do what was needed for her clan. After seeing the village, she could not allow such ruin to fall upon her people. While the things she heard about MacPherson were not encouraging, she was aware that her people needed her.
Nora crawled out of bed and shook her head at her tattered clothes. Callan wasn’t in the hut, but when she looked outside she saw him sleeping by the fire pit, the fire having turned to embers. The horse stood beside him, dipping its head into a trough.
Nora turned to the kitchen and tried to replicate what she had seen in the Keep.
The cooks made breakfast every day, so it didn’t seem to be too hard.
She fetched a pan that looked suitable and then got some eggs.
She cracked the first one and the goo ran all over her hands and the floor, almost making her slip.
The second one wasn’t much better, but at least it started sizzling.
Fragments of eggshell were caught in the whites of them, but she supposed it didn’t matter. They were so small anyway, and it might have been like the skin of a fruit. While apples could be peeled, they could also be eaten with their skin. Perhaps eggs were the same.
The sizzling, and hissing filled the hut. Nora left them quickly to search for something to mend her dress. She started to stitch the torn fabric together when she smelled something strange. It itched her ears, and when she looked up she saw thick smoke emanating from the pan.
Her eyes widened with panic as she rushed back to her eggs, seeing them bubbling and burning, clinging to the pan as the whites blackened.
She tried to scrape them off, but this only seemed to anger them as they hissed more.
She cried out as she leaped back and dropped the flat wooden paddle.
It clattered against the ground and the smoke was only getting thicker.
She thought about taking the pan off the heat but was too scared it would burn her fingers.
Suddenly the door crashed open and Callan burst in. He waved his hand in the air.
“Nora… Nora!” he called out.
“I’m here. It’s the eggs!” she said, backing away to the hearth.
Callan ran into the smoke, coughing and spluttering, and grabbed the pan. He yanked it off the heat and took it outside. Nora followed, wanting to escape the smoke that itched her eyes. She left the door open so the smoke had an exit. The horse looked up, surprised at their sudden appearance.
Callan held the pan out, which calmed now that it was away from the heat. He arched his eyebrows and looked at the contents of the pan, which might as well have been scraps.
“Well, lass, ye hae certainly taught these eggs a lesson. They will nae trouble ye again,” he said. “Only thing is that with food we try tae cook it, nae obliterate it.”
“Ach… I only took my eyes off them for a wee moment,” Nora said, pouting and scratching the back of her neck. She felt like such a fool. How could she ruin something so simple as eggs?
Callan grinned and shook the contents onto the pit fire.
“I think I’ll take care of the cooking for the time being. It’ll be safer that way. I’m rather fond of this hut and I would nae like tae see it burned down,” he said.
There was a light, jovial tone to his voice, but the words pierced her heart and made her feel ashamed.
Nora couldn’t defend herself.
She couldn’t cook.
How was she supposed to ever make her own way in the world?
She stared at Callan who moved about the world with such ease.
She thought of the terrible sight of him killing Brune and the others and found herself wishing that she possessed that strength, that knowledge.
While she wouldn’t ever want to use it, she at least wanted to know she could survive by herself.
She suddenly realized how empty her life had been and how ill-prepared she was for the challenges the Highlands offered.
Callan went inside to produce a breakfast that was beyond her capabilities, while Nora remained outside, staring at the horse, thinking that the animal was probably more use than her as well.