Chapter 10
Nora roused Callan at first light, eager to make good time.
Callan yawned and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He didn’t seem in any hurry at all. Nora waited impatiently by the horse, snapping at Callan, although nothing seemed to quicken his pace.
“If ye dinnae speed up then I’ll take the horse myself and ye can stay here.”
Callan just stared at her, the sandy locks drooping over his forehead, the piercing green eyes shining with morning light.
“I’d like tae see that, lass. Ye hae nae idea where ye are gaeing. Ye’d probably gae round in circles and be back here soon enough. Be my guest. I can get a bit more sleep.”
“I dinnae ken why ye are sae tired. We went tae sleep early enough.”
“Aye, but I was awakened by yer snoring,” he said, finally approaching the horse.
Nora recoiled in horror, her face a picture of disgust.
“How dare ye! I dinnae snore.”
Callan arched his eyebrows and chuckled.
“Ach, lass, I hate tae be the bearer of bad news, but ye dae. I woke up thinking there was a thunderstorm. I would nae worry, it’s nae like ye can help it.
There’s nae sense in hiding away from our nature.
” As he said this he pressed his hand into his chest, which produced a deep, rumbling belch.
Callan sighed with satisfaction afterwards. “That’s better.”
“Ye are an animal.”
“Aye, lass, we all are. But we just hae tae hope we end up better than our friend the stag,” Callan said, leaping up on the horse while Nora turned away in disgust. He threw out a hand.
“Come on, are ye gaeing tae join me or am I gaeing tae hae tae wait all day?” he said, implying that she was the one who was taking time.
Nora’s face was colored with anger, which only deepened when she looked at his irritating grin.
There were some moments on the trip when she couldn’t wait to be rid of him, and this was one of them.
She settled beside him in the position that she was used to by now.
As she did so, the shawl slipped from her shoulder.
Before she could reach for it, Callan was already there.
She felt his fingers sliding up her back as he made sure the shawl covered her shoulders again.
A thin breath passed between her lips, which were slightly parted.
Her heart fluttered, although she tried her best to ignore it.
Callan geed the horse, his sharp command startling Nora as it whipped against her ear. The sudden motion made her body roll, and she pushed back against Callan’s chest.
They didn’t speak much during the journey.
The horse thundered across the world. They passed through the forest, riding across trails and roads and trails again.
They leaped across rivers and ducked under low canopies of trees and Nora got the distinct impression that Callan had been right.
If she had taken the horse then she would have been entirely lost and would have ended up wandering the Highlands in blind hope that she would stumble across any sign of civilization.
It only added to her feelings of inadequacy.
The more she learned about the world, the more she realized how ill-prepared she was to face it.
Not like Callan.
She couldn’t imagine him ever flinching in the face of danger, of ever feeling as though he didn’t know what to do. He had such a bag of tricks in his arsenal. Goodness, she couldn’t even cook eggs.
By the time they reached the next residence, gloom had settled over Nora’s mind.
She wasn’t sure how she was ever going to be a suitable wife for Laid MacPherson and she feared that she would end up letting her clan down.
If he was dissatisfied with her, would he withdraw the aid he’d promised?
Would he not give as much gold to the clan?
She was certain that even if she tried to do the right thing she would end up failing.
This estate was similar to the last, with high walls, guards, and servants. It was just as hollow as well. The maids had either been lying or misinformed. Wanting to prove that she was not entirely useless, Nora approached the guard with the intention of being quicker than Callan.
“Ye will address me with respect. I am betrothed tae Laird MacPherson and I demand that I be allowed tae stay here and that a message be sent tae his location with the utmost haste tae bring him tae me,” she said.
The guard just laughed.
“Dae ye think ye are the first lass tae come by and claim ye are special tae the Laird? I’m sure the two of ye think ye are clever, trying tae get a free night in his estate, but ye will nae fool me. And next time perhaps dinnae come here with yer lover. It ruins the lie,” he said.
“He is nae my lover!” Nora gasped, “And I will nae hae ye talk tae me like that. As soon as I see Laird MacPherson I will tell him how ye hae displeased me and ye will be dismissed from yer position.”
“Aye, lass, I’ll be shaking in my boots. Now, move on with ye before ye become more than an irritation,” he said, grabbing her arm and pushing her away. Nora stumbled and Callan advanced, grabbing the man’s forearm and pulling it aside.
“I dinnae think ye want tae dae that, lad,” Callan growled, his voice rumbling with threat.
Unlike in the other estate, this guard stood alone, and as he stared at Callan he clearly believed that it wasn’t worth the hassle to get into a fight with the man. The guard just snarled and swept his hand through the air.
“Get on with ye while I’m feeling generous,” he muttered. As they left, he drew his arm close and rubbed it where Callan had grabbed it. Callan put his hand against Nora’s back, but she turned away from it, her face lined with shame.
“Lass…” Callan said.
“I dinnae want tae talk about it, let’s just gae,” she snapped and marched out of the gates.
This time she didn’t see the point in entering the house.
Doubts and insecurities stabbed at her mind and all she wanted to do was crawl up somewhere and disappear.
Callan had stepped in to save her again, for a third time.
It may not have been as grand as the others, but even so, he had done something that she could not and instead of feeling relieved or grateful, she only felt humiliated.
They settled in a small clearing. A stream babbled nearby.
The horse went to slake its thirst, while Callan filled the water flasks and handed one to Nora.
She couldn’t even do that. The water was sweet, but it might as well have tasted bitter, such was her mood.
Callan tried to engage her in conversation, but she wasn’t interested.
He went off hunting, and this caused her to slam her fist against the ground in frustration.
Callan returned a short while later with some fruit. He placed them on the ground but did not sit.
“I’ll give it a wee while, then I’ll go and hunt for something more filling, but this should keep us gaeing for a while,” he said, then set about building a fire.
Nora watched his intrepid spirit and her enmity grew more and more intense until eventually she rose from her position.
“Give me yer dagger,” she demanded, holding out her hand.
Callan had just produced sparks and was fanning the flames. He paused and turned around slowly.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I shall gae hunting. Ye hae done enough. Ye can sit here and rest while I get our dinner.”
“Lass, while I appreciate the offer I think it’s better if I gae. Ye dinnae ken the first thing about hunting,” he said.
“Ye dinnae ken that! Ye dinnae ken anything about me,” she said bitterly, swiping her hand through the air.
Callan wet his lips and tilted his head to the side, speaking in a low, slow voice. “Then where would ye begin tae track an animal? Dae ye ken how tae keep yerself hidden? Which animal are ye gaeing tae look for?” he asked.
Nora listened to the questions but she couldn’t find any answers.
“It cannae be that hard. There are animals all over the forest,” she said instead.
“Aye, lass, and none of them are in a hurry tae die. Look, just settle down. Ye hae been through a lot and—”
It was at this point that Nora felt everything explode inside her. The emotions swept through her in a fervent wave of fire. Her fingers trembled and she wanted to tear out her hair.
“Ye dinnae think I’m aware? By the gods, why are ye treating me like a bairn?
I’m nae helpless, Callan, but ye always keep stepping in when ye are nae wanted or needed.
I can take care of myself. I dinnae need ye fighting my battles for me.
I dinnae even ken why ye are here. Why even bother tae help me? Why dae ye care?”
The words came spilling out in an irrational flood.
Tears burned in her eyes, which Nora tried her hardest to hold back, not wanting to show any further sign of weakness in front of Callan.
He skulked towards her and his voice became even lower than before.
It was steady and cut through the noise in her mind.
“Nora, I think we both ken ye did need me. I’m here because I hae tae be, because the world is hard and—”
“And I’m nae,” she glared at him as she finished his sentence for him.
Her eyes blazed with pain, shining and bloodshot.
“I hae been through hardship like ye. I may nae hae lost my home, but my parents were killed. Why dae ye get tae be hard and I dinnae? Why dae ye get tae be strong and I dinnae? It’s nae fair!
I’m tired of being protected, dismissed, ignored, pushed around…
” She started to pace at this point, the frantic emotions inside her needing to be in motion.
She flailed her arms in the air and made her way to the nearest tree.
“It’s nae fair!” she repeated, “I am useless. Everyone decides everything for me!” she screamed and slammed her fist into the tree.