Chapter 11 #2
Nora strode forward to intercept his path. She clutched her stick even more tightly than before. With all the emotion that coursed through her body it was about the only thing keeping her steady.
Callan came sauntering out of the woods and grinned at her, as though he didn’t have a care in the world. She could see through it now though. She knew it was just a mask. A lie.
“Ach, lass, what are ye daeing with that? I appreciate ye want tae defend me, but I was just heeding a call of nature. There’s nae need tae get a weapon.”
“Dinnae lie tae me,” she said in a flat tone. “I saw ye. I saw everything. Ye just killed a man, Callan. Ye robbed him.”
The smile fell from his face. They were only a short distance apart, but there might as well have been a chasm between them.
Nora silently begged that he wouldn’t come too close because the closer he got, the more her judgment became impaired.
She needed to think clearly. This was the man she had chosen as her escort, to lead her to her betrothed and protect her from all the ills the Highlands offered.
But what if he was one of those ills? What if his intentions were not as pure as he claimed? She wasn’t sure how defending her from guards played into his scheme, but she needed answers, if she could even trust him to supply her with the truth.
“That was the guard from the estate. He was suspicious of us and came tae investigate. He would hae hurt ye, like the others. I was nae about tae let him dae that. That’s what I’ve been telling ye. We cannae trust anyone, even guards. We hae tae be careful.”
“Aye, I’m finding it increasingly difficult tae trust anyone. Did ye hae tae rob him?”
Callan pursed his lips and shrugged. “Why nae? Is it better for his coin tae rust out here? We can make better use of it. Ellie can make better use of it.”
“Is that how ye got the coin ye gave Ellie? Dae ye make a habit of killing guards like that?”
Callan leaned back and when he didn’t deny this accusation immediately, Nora’s blood ran cold. Callan’s eyes narrowed and he seemed different from before. There was a dark energy swirling about him, as though his facade had been dropped and now she was seeing his true nature for the first time.
No, not for the first time. That had been when he fought Brune and the others. A man of fury, of rage, of violence. She pulled the stick in front of her.
“As ye hae pointed out, we hae lived different lives, Nora. Ye sat behind the walls of a Keep with servants and maids waiting on yer every whim. I was out here, with the animals, in the wild, facing a storm. I learned quickly that ye hae tae dae whatever ye can tae survive,” his voice was low and rasping.
Nora clenched her jaw. “That dinnae mean ye can gae around killing people and stealing from them.”
“They are nae people. They’re guards. He came looking for trouble. The one in the village was berating a boy, threatening tae throw him in the dungeons and then hang him for naething. The world will nae mourn them, and I can dae more good with this coin than they ever did,” he said.
The truth simmered in the air. The words were like daggers and each one of them peeled away another layer of mystery, leaving her to see the truth, as bare and naked as a newborn baby.
She thought about the attack on the carriage, how Callan had claimed he drove the other bandits away.
There was something that had seemed fortuitous about his story, especially when he returned with the horse.
The horrible, awful truth fell into place and she almost didn’t want to utter the words because if she accepted it, then it meant that all this time she had been riding with a criminal, a murderer…
More than that she had felt things for him.
But utter it she did, in a breathless whisper.
“Ye were the bandit. Ye dinnae save me. Ye were the one that attacked the carriage in the first place.”
Again, there was no denial. Callan inclined his head but did not shy away from her or the truth.
“One man’s bandit is another man’s opportunist,” he said.
“Why me?”
Callan laughed. “There was naething special about ye, lass, I just saw that it was Laird MacPherson’s carriage.
I was hoping he would be inside, but I suppose he would hae more guards.
The fact that he could only spare one for ye should tell ye everything ye need tae ken about that man.
The guard fought me sae I defended myself.
I’m nae in the habit of letting other people wound me. I’ll always fight tae the death.”
“And I’m sure ye’re proud of that as well.”
“Aye, I am. Is that nae what ye wanted tae learn for yerself? Ye hae seen the Highlands clearly, probably for the first time in yer life and what dae ye want tae dae? Learn tae fight. Well that’s what I did, lass.
I learned tae fight. I learned tae survive.
Dinnae stand there judging me for the life I hae lived. ”
“I’m judging ye for stealing from dead men, for attacking innocent people.”
Callan stepped forward as she said this, rage bubbling in his words. “Think what ye like of me, but make sure it’s true. I never attack innocent people. I hae nae laid a hand on ye, hae I?” he said, and she couldn’t counter his words.
She stared at him, this man who just hours ago had stirred powerful emotions within her. Now he was eliciting others on the other end of the spectrum.
She should have hated him.
She should have screamed and run, but she couldn’t.
Despite everything there was something about him that compelled her.
Even if she wasn’t ready to admit it to herself there was a part of her that understood what he meant.
He had been forged by the Highlands. Should she be surprised that he turned out this way?
She had been turned inside out in just a few days, whereas he had been out here for years.
How could he be any different?
And yet he was just like the bandits who killed her parents, men operating outside the law, thinking they knew better than anyone else, thinking that they deserved money because the wealthy had plenty to spare.
She’d slept in his bed, her flesh touching the same sheets as his had touched.
She should have felt sick and nauseous, yet there was a pull remaining inside her, drawn to this forbidden thing, almost as though she wanted to touch a flame she knew was going to burn.
Callan strode up to her and stared directly into her eyes.
“The man I am saved ye from being raped. I swore tae protect ye and I’m a man of my word.
I’ll still take ye tae Laird MacPherson, and if ye want tae turn me in for being a bandit then sae be it.
I dinnae need ye tae approve of the choices I hae made.
I ken who I am and what I hae done. We’ll see if ye feel the same after a few years of life hae tormented ye. ”
His words echoed in the air as he pushed past her and returned to camp. She returned a short while later, finding him snoring near the dead fire. Nora looked at the horse, wondering if she should take her chances and ride away, but she had no choice.
She still needed Callan, and she hated herself for it. She hated the Highlands and the gods and everything else that had conspired to put her in this position, but there was absolutely nothing she could do with that hatred.
There wasn’t even any point in screaming.