Chapter Twenty-one
Emery
For a very long moment, I stared at Graystone. In fact, I must have stared so long, he glanced at Esther, who still had her hand over her mouth. “My child, this is incredible news. Why do you look so overwrought?”
I didn’t know where to start.
Phoenix made some noise of fury, disbelief, shock?
But then simply scooped me up in his arms like some distressed maiden in the books my gran read and carried me inside straight to his bedroom.
He laid me down with such care that, in any other moment, I would’ve been awed by his tenderness, but my mind seemed to be incapable of doing anything other than repeating Graystone’s words on some insane loop.
I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, so I opted for laughing. “I’m not surprised they need him here. He needs a doctor. Not that with everyone we can’t look after him at home, but we need to make sure he isn’t saying that sort of shit to anyone else.”
But inside, I wasn’t laughing. Inside, I was screaming.
I knew Phoenix was looking at me, but I wanted to avoid his gaze as long as humanly possible. Humanly? I chuckled. That was funny as shit. And I’d sworn. Said shit. Twice, maybe even three times. They’d drum me out of elementary school. Of course, being a pregnant man might have that same effect.
“Tell me he was lying,” I begged, even though a deep part of me, the one that knew people could turn into wolves, the same part that had met a vampire, laughed back at me. Probably a little hysterical.
“I can’t,” Phoenix whispered.
I gazed up at the ceiling, took a breath, and finished my pity party. Really, it shouldn’t have taken that long. I pushed away from him and sat up. “Then convince me. Scientifically,” I added.
Phoenix looked at me like I was the insane one, then he deflated. “I wish I could.”
There was a knock at the bedroom door, and Phoenix responded. It was Esther. “You have some explaining to do,” I said in lieu of a greeting.
She nodded and sat. “I thought it was a legend, but apparently not. And I knew being you, you would need answers. I don’t know everything, and I promise to find out, but basically, the embryo is implanted into the wall of the abdominal cavity.
It develops its own sac or uterine enclosure.
The enclosure steadily takes over your abdominal cavity, resulting in a much earlier birth so neither of you starve.
” She held her hand up to stop me from asking the obvious when I would’ve interrupted her.
“Graystone doesn’t know the physical mechanics, but he says you give birth peritoneally. ”
“I what?” I barked out.
“I promise to find out,” she said desperately.
I nodded like it was nothing. “Because you have all these midwives on hand experienced in a guy giving birth?” My voice might have strained the limits of hysteria at the end.
Esther stood, glancing at us both.
“We’re going to get them all settled. If I can help at all, call me.” She opened her purse and placed a pregnancy testing kit on the bed.
“You happened to have one handy?” I asked disbelievingly.
“We never needed them,” Esther admitted. “The heartbeat told us, but in the last few years, so many she-wolves have resorted to this so they don’t have to ask their alpha the question and keep getting the same answer.”
I sighed, feeling utterly shitty for the question. “If you take the whole disbelief out of the equation, then why me?”
“I don’t think it’s because Phoenix has miracle swimmers,” Esther said dryly, and I had to smile when he hid his face behind his giant hands.
“I honestly think it’s a mixture of blood mates and you being a human.
” She looked at Phoenix. “We think it’s the silver-skins that’s causing the infertility?
But whatever they did, targeted the female heat cycle, specifically, because they had no idea a male blood mate could get pregnant.
You shocked many when you went into heat.
We know not all males can because there have been recent male-male pairings, but none that involved either a human or a blood mate.
Although, I don’t think the human side made the difference. I think it was the blood mate.”
I stood, grabbed the test, and took myself down into my own bathroom. I needed privacy for this.
I peed on the stick. If it was negative, I would do another tomorrow morning. Apparently, it worked best that way. I frowned. Didn’t human women have to miss a period, though? If it was negative, would I believe it after so short a time?
Would I believe it if it was positive?
It didn’t take three minutes to show a double line, but I waited it out, anyway. Not that I thought the line would magically disappear. When it didn’t, I put the toilet lid down and sat.
It was decision time. I knew, absolutely knew, falling in love with Phoenix would be so easy, but I just resented being forced into it.
My career, fuck, my life was over. Okay, so I rolled my eyes a little at that.
And I’d said fuck. My language was definitely going downhill, and my life wasn’t over, but I definitely wouldn’t be seeing Gemma and my other friends for a while.
Okay, so positives. I was having a baby.
Negatives? I was having a baby. And no one could tell me how it was going to work. Peritoneally? I was missing a hole, and the thought of it coming out of either of the other two made me want to throw up. One was ughh and the other utterly impossible.
There was a soft knock at the door, and I knew if it had been me out there, I would’ve bitten my nails down to the knuckles. “Come in.”
Phoenix did. He took one look at me, put his back to the door, and slid down. I handed over the test. He took it but didn’t look immediately, just kept his gaze on mine. “It’s positive.”
He nodded. “I heard the heartbeat.” I guess he did. “I want to say so many things,” he started. “I can’t imagine, possibly imagine, what you’re going through right now. I’m shocked, and I knew about wolf shifters and silver-skins. They just keep coming for you.”
I stared into Phoenix’s dark eyes and tried to imagine how he felt. He held himself still, stiff almost.
Then I got it. He was going to be a dad.
Me aside, that was a miracle for his pack, his people.
He should be beaming, excited, happy, wondrous.
Except I was taking all that away from him, and because he was less selfish than I, he was letting me.
This wasn’t just about me, and shock aside, I wasn’t normally such a selfish bitch.
“So, Daddy?” I smiled. It was a little wobbly, but I was making an effort.
His eyes almost lit at the word, and he drew in a sharp breath. He stood and held his hand out. I got up and took it.
“Is it possible to find out if this has happened before? I mean, preferably to someone still alive?”
“Esther’s trying, but we have to be careful.”
I sat on the bed, and Phoenix put his back to the headboard and lifted his arm in invitation. I snuggled in. “We can’t have everyone knowing yet.”
I wasn’t complaining, but it puzzled me. I thought it would be the very thing Phoenix would want. “Why?”
“Because I need to arrange protection for you.”
I smiled and pecked a kiss on his cheek. “Pretty sure I have a badass alpha boyfriend.”
He didn’t return the smile.
“What’s wrong?” Apart from the whole man having a baby.
“You’re a target because you’re my mate. If the silver-skins find out you’re pregnant, it increases exponentially. There’s nothing they wouldn’t do to get their hands on you.”
“None of this is going to be easy,” I agreed. And there was the silence. The one where we needed to talk about us. “The slowdown dating option isn’t going to happen now,” I said. “If you heard the heartbeat, how long until the pack can?”
“Maybe a month, or two, but then they’d have to be alone with you. We tend to tune things like that out, since it would get distracting. Young wolves wouldn’t be able to hear it at all.”
“Do I have my iPad?”
“Your computer?”
“My laptop belonged to the school, and I handed it in, but I need to notify the new one I won’t be taking the job. They need to find someone else.”
“Yes, there’s a bunch of boxes in one of the spare rooms. We got them from the storage place.”
I heard a notification from my phone and glanced at it. It was from Gemma inviting me to Danny’s birthday party. “Damn.” I’d forgotten.
“What is it?”
"My TA Danny, or ex-TA, I suppose. It’s his birthday on Wednesday, and Gemma invited me to go out.” I looked over at Phoenix. “I can’t miss it.” Especially if I was going to have to miss so many things as soon as I started putting on weight.
The thought distracted me. Made it more real.
“Would they think it weird if I came with you?”
I shook my head. “No, and I think that might be rather nice. I want you to meet my friends.”
“I have to work tomorrow,” Phoenix said reluctantly.
“I’ll leave Simeon with you.” I wrinkled my nose.
He grinned. “He was there when Graystone spoke. I need someone that understands the danger you face.” He hesitated.
“I know you think he’s unbending, but he’s a good guy.
And the pack trusts him. My father trusts him. ”
I sighed. “Okay. What are we going to do this afternoon?”
Phoenix chuckled. “Much as I would like to spend the rest of the day here—”
“You have to go be ‘da king,’” I teased.
He nodded seriously. “Wanna come with me, my queen?”
I punched his shoulder, but it was like hitting a brick wall.
The next morning, I sent Phoenix off with a bagged lunch, all very domestic.
To his credit, he didn’t ask, but we were sort of late getting up—my fault.
I blamed the pregnancy hormones as he took me down his throat.
I was planning on doing some rearranging of the house.
I wanted to unpack my boxes, but I also wanted to go see Esther first for obvious reasons.
I stepped out of the door, and Simeon immediately straightened up from where he’d been leaning against the porch railing. “Why didn’t you come inside?” I asked immediately.
He hesitated, then I belatedly remembered wolf shifters’ enhanced smell and hearing, and I think my skin turned crimson. He fell into step beside me as I headed for Esther’s.
“I’m just going to Esther’s.” In case he thought I was going to do a runner.
“Yes, Alpha-mate,” he replied formally.
“Emery,” I said.
“You’re my alpha’s mate,” he said in that same flat tone, which suddenly annoyed the crap out of me.
“No, I’m me. Emery Valentine, kindergarten teacher. I graduated summa cum laude with a double major in early education and developmental psychology. I don’t need a babysitter to walk half a mile, especially someone who thinks I’m the worst thing that could happen to his alpha.”
I stormed off without waiting for a reply, and anger carried me all the way to Esther’s. She was watering some flowers on her porch, took one look at my face, and ushered me inside. I stormed in, uncaring if Simeon stayed on the porch all freaking day.
Then, to my utmost shame, I burst into tears.
I was sitting down with a blanket around me and a cup of tea pressed into my hands along with tissues before I seemed to take another breath.
I was dimly aware of Esther saying something to Simeon, I assumed.
Then the door closed, and Esther sat down, pulling me close to her.
I let her. I’d never had this from either my mom or dad.
“Simeon’s gone to a respectful distance so we can talk in private,” she said, and while I might dislike the guy, I knew he wouldn’t listen.
“Tell me. Simeon in particular, or everything?”
“He hates me,” I moaned miserably, aware I sounded like one of the kids in my class.
“Simeon?”
I nodded, sniffed, and slurped the tea. “He doesn’t think I’m capable of walking half a mile, and I know he wanted better for Phoenix.”
Esther picked up her own tea and seemed to consider what I just said. “Did you know Simeon and my sister Estrelle were blood mates, but she was taken before the mating could happen?”
“Oh God,” I whispered, remembering what Esther had told me about her sister. How they’d known for years that the vampires had her.
“Simeon was only a boy—seventeen—when it happened, but they’d both known they were mates from the time they were pups.
His father was Phoenix’s grandfather’s beta commander, and they practically had to chain Simeon up to stop him from going after her.
He changed that day, and the weeks that followed. ”
Shame pulled at me.
“He’s very difficult, yes, but with reason, Emery. And that doesn’t mean he isn’t old-fashioned, either. A wolf like him, someone who’s given up everything for the good of the pack, doesn’t understand how other people don’t feel the same.”
“Couldn’t they rescue her?” I just couldn’t imagine. But I knew. They would’ve risked everything, the treaty, the humans. “Silly question. I know they couldn’t.”
“Simeon tried. He vowed he would go rogue. When I said they chained him up, it wasn’t a figure of speech.”
I gazed at her in horror.
“He lives for the pack now. If it wasn’t for Draven convincing him he needed him, he probably wouldn’t have lived at all. They’re close. And Simeon is an alpha wolf, but he gave his loyalty to Draven, and now Phoenix.”
“Does Phoenix know?” She nodded. “But then, why didn’t he tell me? I would’ve been more understanding and definitely not such a bitch this morning.” I hid my face in my hands.
“Phoenix puts you first. Yes, he has to consider the pack, but if we’re talking mental well-being, not safety, he will always choose you.” She leaned forward and patted my knee. “And Simeon would expect him to.”
“What do I say?” How was I going to make this better?
“Nothing,” Esther said firmly. “Simeon would be angry you even knew. And yes, he can be an asshole.” She chuckled. “And absolutely don’t pander to him, but if there’s a way of you getting him in your corner, then do it.”
Sure.
My phone dinged with a notification, and I glanced at it. Dad? That was surprising. He wanted to meet again for a coffee, same place, later today. I sighed. “My dad wants to meet me in Minton this afternoon.”
Esther smirked. “Then how about you put your bodyguard in charge of arrangements?”
That actually wasn’t a bad idea.