Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-six
Emery
I sat down and deliberately didn’t think of what had just happened.
Well, the last ten seconds, anyway. I heard the door open and close behind Kaylan, and I leaned my head back, closing my eyes.
I thought about what Gemma had said to me, and my mind played through the events of the last few weeks.
I smoothed my hands over my belly, and for a moment, I imagined what I was going to look like.
And I’d just done what Phoenix had warned me not to. Told the pack.
I wasn’t sorry, though.
I believed Kaylan when he said Phoenix didn’t want the relationship his mom and dad had.
Mine hadn’t been too dissimilar, and just thinking my dad thought he could blackmail his own son nearly had me wanting to throw up.
I closed my eyes again and dragged the throw from the sofa over me.
It smelled like Phoenix, and I shut my eyes.
When I opened them, I felt better than I had in a while.
I knew instantly I was alone, as the house just felt so empty.
Looking out, the sun was setting, and I pulled my phone out.
I read the text from Gemma, which made me smile, and texted her I’d call tomorrow.
Then I gasped at the time. No wonder it looked dark.
It was after eight, and I’d slept the day away. Where was Phoenix?
I’d expected him to come and find me when he’d finished with the pack.
I got up, hugged the throw around me, and walked through to the kitchen and the large window that overlooked the decking and the pack circle.
It was empty. So where was he? I grabbed a bottle of water then sipped it as I went through the house in case my instincts were off and he was here somewhere, but no.
The last room I went into was the big bedroom at the back.
The one Phoenix had said his grandad and grandma had used, and I turned around.
It felt warm, welcoming, and I knew I wouldn’t mind making this room mine, ours.
Was that where I was at? Did I have a choice?
My hands rested on my belly again. My child would always be tied here.
Whatever I chose to do, I knew I couldn’t take a wolf shifter into the normal world.
Whatever I choose to do?
I smiled at that. Like I would ever be anywhere a child of mine wouldn’t be.
I’d been so angry at Phoenix when he’d turned up at Molly’s, but then he hadn’t sent them for me today because it would’ve been the easiest thing to do.
He’d wanted to protect me because he loved me.
It might’ve been insta-love, as Gemma would call it, but in a lot of ways, that made it more powerful.
I tried to take the whole mate thing out of how I felt about Phoenix and realized I couldn’t.
Phoenix wouldn’t be him without his wolf.
And that was the crux. It was like we didn’t have free will. Either of us. Phoenix because of his wolf and me because of the baby.
I walked to the window and looked out over the darkening garden and the forest behind, then I stilled.
Because I could see the figure sitting on the small bench, bent over, head in his hands, and my heart hurt.
Phoenix didn’t look like the alpha I was used to seeing.
He looked hurt, alone. Like the weight of everything was hitting him hard.
And I wondered what Nicholas’s final scream had sounded like to Phoenix.
Was he still hearing it?
Without pausing, I unlocked and slid back the door, jogging over because it was cool.
Phoenix heard me immediately, of course, and jumped to his feet, but instead of wrapping me in those big strong arms like I admitted I really needed, he backed away, putting his hands up almost to ward me off.
“Em, no. Go inside. You can’t—” And he turned away, but I’d already seen.
I’d seen the dark patches on his ripped clothes, the smears of dried blood stuck to his face and hair, and imagined they would be under his fingernails.
I knew without a shadow of doubt he was out here alone and had been for hours because he was too ashamed to let me see him covered in the blood of his enemy.
What I hadn’t realized until right this moment was that it was the blood of my enemy, as well, of our child’s, and he was ashamed.
I’d managed to make him ashamed of who he was and what he’d done both to protect me and the baby I carried.
Well, that shit stopped now.
There, I said shit. Look at me being all badass.
“Do you have a middle name?”
Phoenix glanced back at me, probably to check I was really asking the question, or if he was having an out-of-body experience, whatever. “Me?”
I arched an eyebrow because I did it really well, and I swallowed back the sarcasm. So not the time. “Yes.” I took a step, and he turned fully.
“Emerald,” he whispered. “It’s after the pack. Emerald Lakes.”
I nodded. Not bad. Then I remembered why I’d asked and put my hands on my hips to get the full effect.
If you were going to full name someone, three names always worked better.
“Well, Phoenix Emerald Colton, I’m going to need you to come inside and get in the shower, then we’re going to eat and talk. ”
He just stood there like I was an alien. “Now,” I said and stepped aside so he could get to the door. He glanced down at himself, then raised a pair of beautiful gray moisture-laden eyes at me.
“I can’t. I’m…” He looked down at himself, and then looked away, revulsion coating his features.
“Either you do it, or I will,” I said softly, gently, trying to coax a reaction. In fact, I think I would, anyway. He’d done what he had to, to protect our child, and I would never let him be ashamed of that. Maybe it was about time I got my head out of my ass and started looking after him.
Phoenix gazed at me as if trying to see the lie, but I stared right back because there wasn’t one. He ducked his head and shuffled past, giving me a wide birth. I followed him to his room, and before he could close the door on me, I was in the bathroom and heating the shower.
He paused before pulling his jeans off. “Em?”
“I need a shower, and I’m all about conserving water.
” I stripped and waited. He watched me in astonishment.
I tried not to notice he wasn’t hard, even though my body was already responding.
I knew he was in shock. And ignoring any murmured protests, I simply stepped close and finished undressing him, then entwined our fingers and pulled him under the hot spray.
“Close your eyes,” I whispered, and he did.
I didn’t want him to see the water running red as I washed his hair.
“Turn around.” He obeyed immediately, and I even pulled a soft moan out of him when I scraped my fingers through his dark hair.
When I was sure he couldn’t be any cleaner, I ordered him to turn around again, which he did, still keeping his eyes closed.
I smiled, then fell to my knees, swallowing down his hardening cock before he knew what I was doing.
The gasp was perfect. The hesitant hands that cupped my face made me open my own eyes and look into his. “You’re a miracle I don’t deserve,” he whispered.
Well, yeah, maybe, but thankfully, I didn’t have to be all aww shucks because I had better things to do with my mouth, and I liked being someone’s miracle. It made something flutter inside me I didn’t expect.
I bent my head, and as if a dam had burst, I reveled in all the lovely sounds that came out of Phoenix’s mouth.
I played with his sack until I got more sounds, until his hands were heavier on my head, until he even tugged at my hair when I used my tongue to lick his slit.
And I adored every noise, every tightening of his fingers, every throb in his veins, as my alpha came apart.
And, of course, he wanted to return the favor, but not tonight.
He’d done the hard work today.
We dried off. I sat him down at the kitchen table while I made dinner. I didn’t talk about what had happened today or what it meant. I asked about his family, the pack. If I had over three hundred names to learn, I supposed now was a good time to start.
Tomorrow would be soon enough for blackmail and more killing. Because I knew it was going to come down to death. And probably far sooner than we both hoped.