Chapter 22
I DON’T REMEMBER MUCH OF the next several hours.
It was as if the anguish of losing the map had swallowed me whole.
I heard the goings-on around me—how we traveled slowly to ensure the mounts hadn’t been injured, the fact that Lord Ethan had stolen nearly all our gold, how Zig took what was left to the tavern to see if he could multiply it, and how Rylan and Farrah went to procure us any kind of cheap food.
That left Aven and me in the only room we could currently afford at an inn.
I sat heavily on the bed, my hands on my knees, palms facing up, as Aven knelt in front of me and stared down at them in horror.
“Ellinore,” Aven whispered.
“It’s okay,” I said, my voice clogged from sorrow and disuse.
They studied my face. “No, it’s not. This is… bad. I’m not sure what to do,” they said, hovering, their brow furrowed.
My hands were burned and blistered from the bends of my wrists to the tips of my fingers, the shiny, swollen skin an angry red. They hurt like nothing had ever hurt me before. And that included a few of the closer calls I’d had.
“I think I may have some bandages in my saddlebag, but it’s still on Mouse and—”
“I lost,” I whispered. Tears burned behind my eyes, blurring my view of the small room with two beds and barely any floor between them.
The sea crashed against the shore somewhere outside the tiny window.
The late afternoon sky darkened, sliding toward early evening.
Sounds of footsteps echoed up and down the stairs, and laughter wafted up from the dining room below.
The air tasted of salt and smelled of fish and mead mixed in a noxious odor at which I’d normally wrinkle my nose.
My mouth was parched, my tongue sticking to the roof.
My entire body ached, and all I could think of was how the map had disintegrated in my hands.
How I’d watched Zig’s only chance burn to ash and waft away on the breeze.
Aven stilled, waiting patiently for me to continue.
I opened my mouth. Closed it. Opened it again, and a breathy voice followed. “I lost,” I said again. “To Lord Ethan.”
Aven snorted a laugh, though it wasn’t funny.
I shook my head. It had been a long time since Ellinore the Brave had suffered a loss.
Years even. But Ellinore the Brave, the one in the songs, didn’t exist. Just Ellinore the Fraud.
Ellinore the asshole who beat a royal at their birthday celebration in a game, not understanding the social faux pas of doing so.
Ellinore the absent sister and daughter who had spent her teenage years winning gold and acclaim but at the cost of her relationship with her family, with her brother.
“I lost,” I said again. “I’m lost.”
Aven rested their hand on my knee, a gentle, reassuring touch. “All of us escaped unharmed except for you. We retrieved our mounts, if not all our things. It wasn’t a total loss.”
Tears stained my cheeks when I finally met their worried gaze. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to move forward from here.”
They offered a smile, small and genuine and sad but still somehow tinged with promise.
“We’ll figure it out. The group of us. I know you didn’t want all of us following you, but give us a chance and I think we might work well as a group.
” Their warm fingers dimpled my skin when they gave my leg a comforting squeeze.
“You might not have seen it in all the fighting, but Farrah can wield that quarterstaff even if she can’t pull off a disarm.
And Zig is so smart. You’re right, no knot or lock can hold him.
Rylan just needs some practice and a little confidence, and his magic will be as fine a range weapon as my bow. ”
“I’m sorry I defeated you on your birthday. I wasn’t lying about that.”
Aven paused. Their blue eyes caught the candlelight like jewels in the queen’s crown but were adorned with dark circles beneath. Their forehead creased, and their shoulders drooped as if they were so, so tired.
“It’s okay,” they said. “I would’ve been suspicious if I’d won. I wouldn’t have liked it if you’d lost on purpose.”
“Still,” I said. “I should’ve sat out. Or something. The point is, I’m sorry.”
Aven sighed. “Apology accepted.” They took a breath and looked down at my hands, gently cradling them in their own. “We need to do something about these.”
I wanted to tell them that they didn’t need to worry.
That I had a potion from a dragon’s hoard beneath my tunic that would heal the burns in a moment.
I wanted to tell them everything in my own words, like they had wanted with the story about the Ursa.
But even though the truth sat heavy on my tongue, I couldn’t.
I couldn’t tell them. Not until Zig was safe.
I’d just lost the map. I couldn’t suffer losing Aven as well. That might break me.
Their thumbs gently caressed my wrists. “Ellinore?” they prompted.
“Um… I—”
The door swung open and Farrah, queen of lifesaving interruptions, stuck her head inside. Somehow, after everything, her hair remained perfectly styled and her makeup was flawless. I was so envious. Her eyebrows shot up at Aven holding my hands, but Aven didn’t move.
“Don’t you knock?” they muttered.
Farrah grinned but abstained from responding with a biting comment. “Zig made some winnings, and we have food downstairs when you’re ready.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Farrah’s gaze flicked between me and Aven, her eyes narrowing. “Aven,” she said sweetly, “there are bandages and I think a potion for pain downstairs. Why don’t you come and get them for Ellinore?”
Aven frowned. “Can you bring them to me?”
“No. I have been tasked with taking care of our mounts. Mouse, Starlight, and Carrot need extra love. They were kidnapped too and have been through a traumatic experience.”
Aven looked as if they were about to argue, but I jumped in first.
“It’s okay. I’ll be fine by myself for a few minutes.”
They tilted their head and assessed me. “Are you certain?”
I drew myself up from my slouch and cleared my throat, trying my best to project an image of someone who hadn’t just had a breakdown. “Yes. I’ll be okay.”
Aven grumbled but stood and followed Farrah.
I listened for their steps to descend the stairs, and once I was certain Aven wasn’t returning imminently, I pulled the vial from beneath my tunic.
The liquid swirled a cooling blue, and I’d never been so grateful for magic in my entire life.
My hands and fingers were swollen, so removing the stopper was almost a lesson in futility, but I finally uncorked it and was able to shake a few drops onto my tongue.
As with the salamander venom, the relief was almost instantaneous, and I sagged on the bed, exhausted but healed. My head spun, and I contemplated lying back on the mattress and giving in to the fatigue.
But I wasn’t finished with what I needed to do.
The tiny room came equipped with a pitcher and a shallow porcelain bowl.
The water was cold, but it worked well enough to rinse the ash from my face and body.
And a linen pillowcase ripped into ribbons made adequate bandages to hide my now-healed hands.
I tied them off with my teeth just as I heard Aven’s and Farrah’s voices coming up the stairs.
“You should tell her,” Farrah said.
Aven’s response was short and clipped. “No.”
I perked up. Tell me what?
“Aven, you need to tell her before this whole quest goes much further. Or gets more dangerous.”
Aven laughed at that, bitter and sharp, footsteps pausing outside the door. “More dangerous? That’s impossible, Farrah.”
“Ugh. You’re being so you.”
“I’m not taking attention away from the purpose of the quest, which is to save her brother. Anything beyond that just makes things complicated.”
Farrah groaned. “Excuses, excuses. You can’t keep the secret much longer. She’s going to figure it out. And then she’ll be pissed you lied.”
I flinched. Aven had lied? Farrah had hinted before about secrets, but I hadn’t given it much thought, chalking it up to her relentless teasing of Aven. But this sounded like Aven was keeping something from me. Something that would hurt.
There was a world-weary sigh. “It doesn’t matter. This is her last quest.”
“That makes it matter more, you royal fool!”
The door swung open before I could move from the center of the room, where I was obviously listening. Aven stopped in the doorway, mouth falling open. We stared at each other, the atmosphere tense.
“You’re back,” I said, voice a croak. I blamed the smoke from the forest fire and not the fact that this was the most awkward interaction that had ever happened in all of time. I held up my bandaged hands. “I took care of them. On my own.”
Aven blinked. “Oh.”
I swallowed. “Yeah.” Should I address the chimera in the room, or should I let it go?
Aven opened their mouth, then shut it. They scratched the back of their neck and hummed. They glanced at Farrah, who nodded encouragingly. “So, Ellinore—”
“No!” I said quickly. “No. I don’t want to know.”
Aven’s brow furrowed. “You don’t?”
“No. You keep your secret. And you let me keep mine.”
“Oh.”
“Deal?”
“Yeah.”
“Great. Let’s not bring it up again.” Okay.
I couldn’t take much more of Aven’s hurt bewilderment.
I was already fatigued from my absolute emotional collapse.
I could not handle anything else. Especially if it would heap more unhappiness and stress upon me.
“Uh… let’s go have dinner,” I said, brushing past them quickly.
I descended the stairs into the inn’s dining area to find Zig and Rylan around a table with chairs left open for the rest of us.
They chatted, their voices low, while they shoveled stew into their mouths, dipping warm bread into their bowls as well to sop up the gravy.
The scrape of my chair along the rough-hewn wooden floor alerted them to my presence.
Zig startled, then jumped to his feet.
“Sister,” he said, rounding the table.
“Brother.”