Chapter 18
Desmond
In a fit of madness, I tell Parker that Jack and I are going to be dating as he’s sitting at the table eating breakfast before school.
He rolls his eyes, crunching down on his cereal.
I wait for him to say anything about it, and stand in silence for another three spoonfuls before I realize he apparently isn’t going to.
“That okay?” I ask carefully, earning myself another eye roll, this one paired with a dramatic groan.
“I don’t know why you’re being so weird about it. Jack didn’t even want to sleep in your bed last weekend,” he replies, as though it’s the craziest thing he can imagine. “You can sleep together, I don’t care.”
My left eye starts twitching. “Uhm…okay. But, Parks, I just want you to be sure you understand what that means, and that you know nothing is going to change. You’re still the priori?—”
“I like Jack. I want him to do his laundry here and come with us when we go places. Okay?” he asks, somewhat violently. I have the crazy urge to laugh. “I don’t even care if you kiss.”
“Well, that’s…good,” I reply, grateful that acceptance of same-sex relationships will apparently be a hurdle I don’t have to clear.
“Mom and Dad used to kiss all the time.” He shakes his head, mouth scrunched up in revulsion as he chases the last of the cereal with his spoon. “Dis-gus-ting.”
“Yes,” I agree, pointing a finger at him. “Hold on to that attitude until you’re eighteen.”
“You get weirder, like, every day,” he tells me, standing up and bringing his bowl over to the sink. I don’t have an argument for that, so I let it go, looking him up and down to make sure he didn’t put on clothes that are dirty.
“Stop looking at me,” he grumbles, slouching by on his way back to the bedroom.
“Grab your backpack, and make sure you have all your homework!” I yell as he turns the corner.
“Where do you think I’m going?” he yells back.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I send a quick text to Jack.
I know he’s worried about me talking to Nico, and I know he’d rather I not.
But, the fact of the matter is, Nico is my boss and he loves every member of his team.
They are, in many ways, his kids. Jack is already something of a sore spot for him, because he feels like he failed.
I can’t think of a worse situation than one where Nico happened to find out I was with Jack—and he would find out, no matter what effort was put into hiding it—and I hadn’t been the one to tell him.
I hate feeling like I’m being duplicitous, so while I recognize that it’s probably too early to be telling Parker or Nico, my nature dictates that I should.
Desmond
Morning, Jacko. How you going?
Jack
Good morning. Fine, how are you?
Desmond
You didn’t sleep last night, did you?
Jack
Oh my god I’m so nervous, I can’t believe you’re going to tell Coach.
It’s a really terrible idea.
He’s going to be SO pissed.
Desmond
You trust me?
Jack
Yes, even though you’re obviously fearless to the point of insanity.
I laugh out loud in the empty kitchen. The idea of me being fearless is ridiculously inaccurate. I’m scared all of the time. And as scary as I thought the world was as a kid, it’s nothing to how I feel now.
Desmond
I’ve got to take Parker to school, and then I’m heading to work.
Everything will be fine, try not to worry.
Jack
Okay. Say hi to Parker for me.
Despite the calm facade projected over text message to Jack, I am feeling pretty nervous as I drop Parker off at school and watch him walk in.
A young teacher is standing by the door, greeting the students.
She says something to Parker, before looking up and waving at me.
I return it, waiting until he’s all the way inside the building before pulling away from the curb and letting the next parent do their drop-off.
The drive to campus is quick from here, which is good, as it gives me less time to worry.
Less time to think about how good it would feel to pull over and empty my stomach on the side of the road.
Nico’s already in the office when I arrive, the way he usually is, and the lights are low thanks to our fancy new dimmer switch. He looks up at me when I walk in, smiling.
“Good morning,” he greets me. Something thumps against the bottom of his desk. I drop my bag and crouch down as Drou comes into view, tail wagging hard enough to rock his hips from side to side as he trots over.
“Hey, buddy.”
He rubs against me as I pet the soft red fur on his back, plopping his butt down on my shoe and tipping his head up. Obligingly, I stroke his ears. Yeah, I’m definitely going to have to get Parker a puppy.
“Bring-your-kid-to-work day?” I ask Nico, who chuckles.
“For a little while. Anthony has a doctor’s appointment, and no amount of begging on his part has coerced them into letting him bring the dog. He’ll come pick him up later, so he’s not too much of a bother for us.”
“A bother?” I ask, cupping my hands around Drou’s face, and using the tone of voice reserved for baby animals and small children. “How could something this cute ever be a bother?”
“Something that cute peed on me the other day,” Nico replies mildly. I laugh, which prompts Drou to join in with a bark. Already, his voice is less shrill than it was before, deepening into something you could imagine hearing from a full-sized dog. I already wish he wouldn’t grow up so fast.
“How’s it going at Troy and Sam’s house?” I ask, standing up and walking over to my desk with a little red shadow behind me. When I sit down, Drou abandons me in favor of his dad, leaning against Nico and licking his pant leg.
“Very good. Troy spoils him, but I’d expected nothing less.” He reaches down to brush his fingers along the crown of Drou’s head. The puppy closes his eyes, tail thumping softly against the floor.
“He’s well-behaved already,” I note, firing up my computer and pulling out the laptop from my bag.
“Yes. Sam has been working with him to teach him basic commands. I don’t know if I told you, but Nigel’s sister breeds dogs in Canada.
He’s the one who connected us with her, when we started thinking about getting one.
I think she must have a sixth sense about which puppies will have what temperaments, because she managed to give us the calmest one of the bunch. ”
“You really know someone for everything, don’t you?” I muse.
“Well, Anthony does, at any rate. He makes friends everywhere he goes, and people just want to help him.”
I smile at the loving way that sentence was spoken, happy to know that sometimes two people who are meant to be together do find one another. It gives me hope for the rest of us.
“I talked to Jack—sounds like they had a blast at the game,” I comment lightly, starting the conversation off slow, and on the safer ground of hockey talk.
“Anthony said the same thing,” he agrees, smiling softly. “ Carter was happy to see them, apparently. Surprised, too, from what Anthony told me.”
“That’s what Jack said.”
“Carter’s family provides an incredible amount of financial support to him—or at least they did—but the emotional has always been lacking. He would never expect anyone to show up for him in that way.”
“You made a lot of young adults happy, that’s for sure,” I tell him, which makes him snort.
Drou ambles over to me, putting a paw on my leg when I don’t pet him fast enough.
I rub behind his ear, hoping he stays over by me for the next part of the conversation.
An emotional support puppy might be just the thing I need to make it through. I take a deep breath—now or never.
“There is actually something I wanted to talk to you about,” I start, turning my chair to face him. He does the same, lips curving into a partial smile as he notes Drou’s presence by my seat. “In regards to Jack.”
“Oh? Is he okay?”
“Fine, yeah. He’s great. But, there’s…” I trail off, feeling stupid and ridiculous and a little ill.
Nico waits patiently, elbows resting on the arms of his desk chair and fingers linked across his stomach.
His face is relaxed, and he’s not even squinting at me, clearly happy with the dimmer light of the room.
Just tell him, Desy, Vic urges softly. She was always braver than me.
“I wanted to let you know that me and Jack have talked about going out together. We struck up a friendship right away, and have recently discussed taking that further.”
I stop there, watching each of the words dawn on Nico as he processes. My stomach clenches when the relaxed, peaceful expression is replaced by something hard and unforgiving.
“Excuse me?” he asks, voice gruff.
“The weekend before last,” I clarify calmly. His eyes narrow and the lazy sprawl is replaced as he straightens in his chair.
“I really hope you’re not telling me that you have—in direct breach of the contract you signed—been in a relationship with Jack McIntire.
” I open my mouth to defend myself, but he continues on in a hard, dangerously low voice.
“I hope, for your sake, that I am misunderstanding exactly what you’re saying.
I hope, Desmond, that you have not endangered one of my boys. ”
“Of course not,” I reply, still somehow managing a calm tone. Maybe this will be good practice for when I’m in court fighting for Parker. “Nico, believe me, nothing happened—or has happened—with Jack, and certainly not while he was playing for the team. I wouldn’t do that.”
I don’t have much hope that he’ll believe the I wouldn’t do that plea, even though it’s true in this case.
Everyone who’s ever done something wrong has probably tried to convince their boss of their innocence the same way I am.
Nico’s face is stony enough that I can’t get a read on what he’s thinking; can’t see any emotions past anger.
God, I really hope today is not the day I lose my job.