Chapter 15
PRESENT DAY
Mia had been nervous all morning about seeing Joe again.
She’d woken early and gone out for a coffee, deciding to walk and enjoy the sights, but she’d still had two hours to fill in between then and lunch, and she found herself going back to her hotel to retrieve her camera.
Which was how she’d ended up racing back to her room to get ready, suddenly running behind and ending up outside Joe’s restaurant almost fifteen minutes late.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she apologised.
He just stepped forward and kissed her cheeks, his eyes landing on hers and telling her that he wasn’t worried in the least.
‘I was starting to think my mother had scared you away.’
Mia stood back, her fingers instinctively reaching for the camera strap around her neck, which of course wasn’t there any longer. It had been a long time since that had felt instinctive, but after being out shooting that morning, it was almost second nature again.
‘You have to tell her this isn’t real,’ Mia said, as her gaze dropped to his lips, and for a split second she wished it was. What had Charlotte said about embracing a holiday romance?
‘And break her heart?’ Joe grinned and raised an eyebrow.
Mia laughed. ‘If you’d just told her the truth in the first place…’
‘You would never be one step closer to finding out about your aunt,’ he said.
‘Well, you have me there, because I am grateful for that, and I can’t wait to see if she’s found out anything more.’
‘Come on,’ he said, indicating for her to follow. ‘It’s not far.’
‘May I ask you something personal?’ she said as they walked. It almost felt familiar now, since they’d walked the same pavement the very first time they’d met.
‘It depends on what it is.’
When he flashed her his easy smile, she found it impossible not to return.
‘It’s just, last night you said you were the only man in a family of girls, but when we first met you mentioned a brother.’
She noticed that he pushed his hands into his pockets, his glance making her wonder if she shouldn’t have asked.
When he didn’t answer, she tried to fill the silence by apologising, wishing she’d never said anything in the first place.
She knew first hand what it was like to be asked uncomfortable questions, and she should have known better.
‘If it’s too personal, I completely—’
‘No, it’s fine,’ he said, clearing his throat, his voice sounding huskier than before. ‘It’s not a secret, but it’s just been a long time since anyone asked me about him, that’s all.’
‘You’re not close any longer?’ she asked.
Joe took a deep breath and walked a little closer to her, so that their arms almost touched, and when he spoke, he lowered his voice as if his words were only for her.
‘Mia, my brother took his own life five years ago,’ he said. ‘There was a long time when I couldn’t talk about it. My whole family spoke about him as if he were still here, and we never talked about what happened. We continued with life as if he was going to walk through the door at any moment.’
‘What changed?’ Her heart beat a little faster as she immediately thought of her own loss, and how hard she was trying to move on. She should have told him how sorry she was, and she cursed herself for not saying that first.
‘Well, I came to realise that I was never going to accept he was gone if I didn’t start talking about him and being honest about what happened. But sometimes it’s still hard, like thinking about him not being at lunch today.’ Joe looked away for a beat before finding her eyes again.
Mia watched the way his face changed. He was still smiling at her, but it wasn’t quite reaching his eyes this time.
‘He would have loved this little charade, although I think he would have seen straight through it,’ Joe said. ‘He was the life of the party, and everyone loved him. I was always happy to be his shadow.’
She couldn’t imagine he could be any more attractive than Joe, or light up a room any more brightly than he did, but she didn’t say anything.
‘My, ah, my fiancé passed away a few years ago,’ Mia said, her voice cracking a little as she struggled to find the right words, feeling emotional after hearing Joe open up about his brother.
‘So I do understand the pain of loss, and how hard it is to talk about it. I know what it’s like to pretend that person is still here, because it’s easier pretending than facing the truth. ’
Joe slowed his walk, and she smiled when he took her hand, palm to palm. But this time when he touched her, it was a gesture born of comfort, from one grieving person to another, and she welcomed it just as much as she’d have welcomed his kiss the last time they’d been together.
‘Do you still find it the hardest thing in the world to talk about?’ he asked, keeping hold of her hand as they walked. ‘His passing?’
‘I’ve barely told a soul or talked about him at all since,’ she admitted. ‘Sometimes it’s easier to just keep the pain inside.’
‘Well, now you’ve told me,’ he said. ‘Which means the next person will be that little bit easier. Or at least, that’s how I’ve found it to be.
But some days are easier than others, and we have to be gentle with ourselves on those days, because you’re right, it’s always easier to keep it inside.
But it’s not always the right thing to do. ’
Mia would have told him more, suddenly not scared about sharing with him what had happened, but before she had the chance, his hand was pulling gently away from hers.
‘You’re sure you want to have lunch with my family?’ he asked. ‘I can whisk you away and take you to a café instead, and we can compare notes on how sad we’ve been these past few years. Now that we know we have something of a shared past.’
Mia laughed. It was a terrible thing to joke about, but it made her feel lighter somehow. ‘Your mother is too nice to do that to,’ she scolded, feeling oddly at ease with a man who should still feel like a stranger to her. ‘But if you don’t tell her that we only met this week, I will.’
Joe gave her a wicked grin as he pressed the buzzer for the apartment block they were standing in front of. ‘Oh, I’ll let you tell her. It will soften the blow coming from you.’
Mia swatted at him, but Joe just laughed and reached for her hand before she could connect with him, catching her completely off guard.
‘You’re nothing short of a surprise, Mia from London.’
She didn’t even try to tug her hand away. ‘Straight back at you, Joe from Paris.’
He leaned in a little closer then and her breath hitched, their fingers moving and linking just as the door clicked to signal it had unlocked.
‘I just want you to know that I’m not, well, I’m not ready for—’
Joe leaned closer and his lips touched her cheek before he whispered in her ear. ‘We’re just pretending, remember? Two lost souls helping each other to make life a little easier.’ A second passed, and then another. ‘There’s nothing to worry about.’
She let him tug her through the door as she willed her body to listen to the words that he’d spoken and stop wishing this was something it wasn’t.
Besides, she barely remembered how to kiss, let alone do anything else. As far as she was concerned, her body had closed for business years ago. Even if the staccato beat of her heart was trying to tell her otherwise.
Mia stood in the foyer of the apartment and tried not to let her jaw drop.
It was nothing like she’d expected. The ceilings seemed to reach for the sky and light filled the entrance and the living space ahead of her, with furniture so thoughtfully placed it was like standing in the pages of a magazine.
‘Welcome home,’ Joe said, taking her coat as she walked slowly forward, looking at the enormous mirror that it must have taken an army of men to hang.
‘This is where you grew up?’
‘No, we had a house closer to my school, and it was nothing like this,’ he said. ‘My mother sold the big house when my father passed, and she became obsessed with interior design.’
‘If this is the small house, then I’m imagining the last place was a chateau.’
Joe smiled and pointed ahead, towards the noise. ‘My father loved the country and my mother the city, so as much as everyone else might have loved our chateau, it was never her dream.’
So it was a chateau? Mia was starting to think that she’d unintentionally met French royalty, but she tried not to look too bug-eyed and followed Joe.
Two blond-haired children were playing on the floor, with a woman who looked slightly older than Joe’s other sisters sitting on the sofa beside them.
But it was Joe’s mother who properly caught her attention, opening her arms and coming towards them.
‘You made it! Bonjour, Mia,’ she said, giving her a warm hug and kissing her cheeks.
‘Thank you so much for inviting me. Your home is absolutely amazing. I could stand in awe and look around for hours.’
‘It’s been my project for the past ten years,’ she said. ‘Only one of my children has been kind enough to give me grandchildren, so I have far too much time on my hands.’
Joe groaned, and his sister Vivienne came and took Mia by the arm, leading her away. She heard his mother speak French and wished she could have understood even part of it.
‘You’ve caused quite a bit of excitement,’ she said, leading her into the kitchen and pouring them both a glass of wine. ‘Joe can be…’ Vivienne frowned. ‘Let’s just say that he keeps things close to his chest. We were surprised to meet you at the party.’
Mia felt that tug of guilt inside, not liking that they were fooling anyone. Although, given the warm reception she’d received, she was starting to wish that it was real, because they were a lovely family.
‘Do you know anything about his last serious girlfriend?’
‘Ah, no, we haven’t really known each other for long, so…’ She took a sip of wine, trying to buy herself some time.