Chapter 18
PRESENT DAY
While Mia sat in the little foyer of her hotel waiting for Joe, she took out her phone to check her messages. She smiled when she saw there was one from Ella, although as soon as she read it, she wished she’d never told her about Joe, because she was relentless.
Have you fallen in love with the bartender yet? When are you seeing him next? And why have you not sent me a photo of him?!
Mia shook her head, her thumb hovering before tapping out a reply.
She could have put an end to the banter by telling her she wasn’t ready for anything to happen with any man, but she didn’t want to.
She’d kept so much of herself back from all of the girls, and there was something liberating about just being Mia to them.
About them being invested in her little holiday romance and wanting her to have some fun.
We’re going on a road trip to a village by the Swiss border. I’ll let you know about the falling part.
She could practically see Ella’s face, and when the little bubbles appeared to show her she was typing back, she chewed on her lip and kept staring at the screen.
There’s something about those little wooden boxes, Mia. I swear, it’s like they’re some kind of magic love charm.
If that was the case, then she wished she’d brought hers with her. But it had been empty, and Mia’s connection had never been with the box—it was with the bottle and the notebook.
She was about to text back when a car horn sounded outside, but she quickly glanced down when her phone vibrated again.
Go for it, Mia. Find all the answers, but have fun along the way. Trust me, sometimes it’s worth letting your guard down, especially when there’ s a gorgeous man involved.
She dropped her phone into her handbag and picked up her duffel, hurrying out to the car when she realised that Joe was holding up traffic where he was parked. His car was shiny and cute, and she thought that if she were a car person it would probably be a big deal, but she had no idea.
He leaned over from the driver’s seat and pushed the door open for her, and Mia jumped in, waving to the cars waiting behind them and throwing her bag in the back.
‘Hey,’ he said.
‘Hey,’ she replied, her heart racing the moment she was seated beside him.
He waited until she’d buckled up, ignoring the honking from behind, before accelerating down the narrow, cobbled street.
‘Joe, if you—’
‘Mia, I don’t—’
They both laughed, and he glanced over at her, taking his eyes off the road for a second.
‘You go first,’ he said.
She angled her body so that she was facing him. ‘If this is weird, you don’t have to do this. I’m sure your mother will forgive you for not accompanying me.’
‘Have you not met my mother? There’s no way she’d forgive me,’ he said with a chuckle. ‘I think her words this morning were, whatever you do, don’t let this English rose slip through your fingers.’
Mia laughed. ‘She knows,’ she said. ‘You know that, right? She completely figured out that this was all a charade.’
‘Maybe,’ he said, before glancing at her again and giving her a look that was hard to read. ‘But then maybe this was never a charade in the first place. Maybe we were only fooling ourselves.’
Mia swallowed. What did he just say?
Joe glanced at her for a third time, but this time he didn’t say anything.
This time he made her heart stop for a completely different reason, taking her hand and covering it with his own on the gear stick between them.
But when she looked at him, he just smiled, one hand on the steering wheel as he navigated the insane Paris traffic, looking like he hadn’t just said something that was so damn sweet he’d stunned her into silence.
When they finally got to the Jura Mountains, it was late afternoon.
The drive had been lovely, with the soft-top down for most of it and the sunshine on her skin, and now they were wandering along a pretty little road in search of their hotel.
She was in awe of the landscape and wished she’d brought her running shoes so she could have explored the trails through the mountains and surrounds on foot.
‘My mother offered to make the booking for us, but I figured she’d book a room with one bed,’ he said, as he nodded for her to go ahead. He was carrying both their bags, despite her insisting she could carry her own, and she held the door for him to pass through.
Mia just shook her head, smiling as she thought about his mother and how much fun she seemed to be having trying to set them up.
But she didn’t have time to thank him for being so thoughtful because a bellhop came running over to take their bags, and she let Joe organise everything as she went to the window and stared out at the pretty garden.
‘Mia?’
She turned and found Joe watching her. He almost took her breath away, standing in his white T-shirt and jeans that hugged his waist, his aviators caught on the front of his tee.
She glanced away, finding that she couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said in the car, and wondering whether she should have come with him at all.
Because she was torn between wanting to steer completely clear of him, and wishing that something more might happen between them.
‘Shall we go up to our rooms?’ he asked. ‘We can freshen up and then find somewhere close for dinner.’
Mia took the old-fashioned brass key that he was holding out, and they stood there for a long minute before he let go and she walked ahead of him up the stairs, letting herself into her room.
She immediately went to the window and stared out at the mountains, and it reminded her of her trip to Canada, when she’d lost Ethan.
It was a very different landscape, but it gave her the same feeling inside as she looked out at the endless blue skies.
But the best part of all was that she didn’t feel sad. Instead, she felt a yearning to be part of nature again, with her camera hanging from her fingertips.
‘So tell me. What is the plan tomorrow?’ Mia asked Joe, as they sat in the early evening sunshine with half-drunk glasses of wine on the table and the remnants of a platter full of local delicacies.
It had been the perfect way to end the day as far as Mia was concerned.
The weather had been balmy, the restaurant was barely a ten-minute walk from their accommodation and the food had been fabulous.
Not to mention she was struggling to keep her eyes off Joe.
He’d been so easy to talk to that it had been hard to remember they weren’t actually on a date, and it wasn’t helping that Ella had encouraged her to be a little reckless.
‘I think we go to the distillery, ask a few questions and show them your bottle, and see if we can’t arrange a visit to the elderly man my mother mentioned,’ he said. ‘Maybe we could even show the bottle around, see if anyone knows anyone else who might be able to help us?’
‘Even just talking to someone who was in the industry when Hope was might feel like a step forward. I just, well, I have the strangest feeling in my bones that I’m following the right path, but I know full well that might be me getting carried away. Maybe I just want it to be true.’
‘There’s every reason to believe you’re right, Mia,’ he said. ‘And I think you’ll be surprised at how much some of these people know. If their families have lived and breathed this industry for generations, then it’s likely you will discover something tomorrow.’
Mia nodded, happy to follow Joe’s lead, and they sat a while longer, chatting about everything and nothing, before it was suddenly time to go.
Joe insisted on paying and before she knew it they were walking back, and she was wishing the walk would never end—wishing that she’d suggested dessert, or a walk or quite frankly anything that would have made their time together last a little longer.
‘Well, I guess this is goodnight,’ he said, and she watched as he pushed his hands into his jeans pockets.
‘Joe,’ she said, looking up at him and thinking how easy it would be to become lost in those cocoa-brown eyes.
He watched her, expectantly.
‘In the car, you said something about this not being a charade.’ She swallowed, her skin igniting at the way he was looking at her, or maybe it was from the two glasses of wine that had gone down so easily. ‘Did you mean it?’
‘Do you want this to not be a charade?’ he asked.
Mia didn’t know what she wanted, but as she stared up at him, finding it impossible to look away, she slowly shook her head. No, Joe, I do not want this to be a charade. I want to know you really want to be here.
Joe nodded and took one step forward, and then another, and her gaze dropped from his eyes to his mouth.
‘I don’t want this to be a charade either, Mia,’ he murmured. ‘I was being truthful when I suggested it, but pretending this isn’t real feels a long way from the truth now.’
‘We barely know each other,’ she whispered.
‘I know.’
She swallowed again, hard, as he slowly dipped his head, his fingers curling softly around her chin as he angled her face to meet his.
He’s going to kiss me.
Her heart was pounding, but the second his lips hovered over hers, the moment they were about to touch, she couldn’t go through with it. She couldn’t kiss him.
He’s not Ethan.
She looked up at him, into his eyes, her fingers splayed against his chest, her breath fast as she registered the confused look on his face.
‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered as she pushed away. ‘I can’t do this, I’m not ready, I…’
His eyes told her that he understood, but she didn’t wait long enough to hear what he was about to say.
‘Mia—’
She fled then, fumbling with her key and hurrying into her room. She closed the door behind her and sank to the floor, her head in her hands, her chest heaving as she fought for breath.
Get up.
She gulped air, drawing her knees in to her chest, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her.
Get up.
The voice in her head was becoming louder, drowning out her fears, telling her how stupid she was for being so scared.
Ethan wouldn’t have wanted her to hide from the world; he would have been the first person to tell her that life was for living.
He would have told her to kiss all the men and dance at all the parties, to follow her dreams and let nothing stop her.
He would have hated to think of her living the rest of her life alone.
You get one chance at life, Mia. So go out there and live it.
She pushed up onto her feet, moving before she had time to second-guess herself and threw open the door, deciding then and there that she was going to stop being so afraid and knock at his door.
But her breath hitched when she saw that Joe was still standing there. In the hallway, where she’d left him.
Waiting for her.
She took a tentative step forward, wishing he’d just close the distance between them and kiss her, but Joe didn’t move.
She’d already told him no, she’d already pushed him away, and the only thing that moved was his eyes as he tracked her.
She knew that he was waiting for her, that it was her choice whether anything happened or not.
Mia opened her mouth, but no sound came out.
‘Mia,’ he said, his voice husky, the way he said her name crushing something inside her.
Mia barely remembered moving. One moment she was standing with her back against her door, and the next she was on tiptoe, claiming Joe’s mouth as his arms wrapped around her waist.
His lips were so warm and soft, and she slipped her hands to the back of his neck as a tear slid down her cheek and his lips brushed hers.
He pulled away, his thumb ever so gently wiping it away, his eyes searching hers.
Joe was giving her an out, but she didn’t want one, and if she could have found her voice she would have told him that she wasn’t sad, that she was crying because she was so happy.
Instead she stood on tiptoe and kissed him again, and it only took him a moment to pull her hard against his chest, his mouth over hers as he walked her backwards against the door to his room.
She’d spent too long grieving what she couldn’t have, but she wasn’t going to let her sadness dictate her life any longer. He framed her head with his arms on either side of the door, his eyes roving over hers.
‘Are you sure you want this?’ he asked.
Mia reached up and stroked his jaw, before slipping her fingers to the base of his head again and drawing him closer, her fingers threaded through his thick hair, telling him with her touch that there was no question about what she wanted.
She’d never been so sure of anything in her life.