Chapter 31
‘A letter arrived for you today, Hope,’ Charles called out.
Hope took off her coat and scarf and hung them in the hallway, following his voice to the kitchen and walking past one of the paintings she’d done for him since she’d arrived.
It wasn’t done with the passion she’d once had, but setting up in one of the upstairs bedrooms and having paint around her again had taken her back in time and reminded her of when she’d first met Gus and shown him her studio.
Her uncle was cooking something that smelt wonderful, and it made Hope’s stomach growl as she inhaled.
She’d never known a man to cook so well before, and it still surprised her every time she saw him standing in front of the cooker.
In the beginning, she’d imagined he simply heated up whatever his housekeeper made for him, but he’d quickly shown her that that was not the case.
He had a full, vibrant life in London, even if he was on his own.
‘It’s just on the table there,’ he said, his back still turned.
Hope picked up the envelope, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the name of the sender on the back.
‘News from home?’ Charles asked.
‘It’s from Gus’s sister,’ Hope said, excitedly tearing open the back with her nail, her hands shaking as she opened it. ‘She’s the only one who knows where to find me. There must be news.’
Charles said something else, but she didn’t hear him, her eyes racing across the words on the page.
No. A sob slipped from her lips and Hope dropped into the seat beside her.
Not Gus. No, it couldn’t be Gus.
She was aware of warm hands closing over her shoulders, could hear the muffled cries that she later realised were her own, her hand pressed to her mouth as she tried to reconcile what she’d just read, tried to understand how it could possibly be true.
But she reached for the letter again, forcing herself to read it.
Dear Hope,
It is with great sadness that I write to tell you of the passing of my darling brother Gus.
My parents received a telegram to inform them that he was tragically killed during a training exercise, but we don’t have any further details.
My parents don’t know that I’ve contacted you, but I know how much he loved you, and if he’d had the chance he would have left everything behind to meet you in London.
The telegram should have been sent to you, Hope—you were his everything, and I only wish you could have been married before he’d left so that things could have been different now he’s gone.
I don’t know how to offer you comfort from so far away, but what I can say is that you will always be family to me.
I only pray that one day we can see each other again, and that I can meet my brother’s child, although I can only imagine the decisions you will face now that you’ve received this news.
With that in mind, I’ve included some money with this letter, and my hope is that it will tide you over for a time. I’m sorry it’s not more.
Hope, I wish I knew what to say, but the truth is that I don’t. My heart is broken, and I’m devastated over the loss of my brother, and I know that you will be feeling the same.
With all my love,
Marie
‘Hope, tell me what it says,’ Charles said, taking the seat beside her and reaching for her hand.
Without looking at her uncle, she passed him the letter, her hand trembling as he took it. She couldn’t read it out loud, couldn’t tell him what it said, because she couldn’t comprehend it.
Gus wasn’t coming. The realisation hit her like a weight of bricks on her chest, pressing down so hard that she could barely breathe.
Not once had she imagined that Gus wouldn’t come for her. She hadn’t known when, hadn’t known how long she might be alone, but she’d never considered the possibility that she might be alone forever. It had always been a matter of when, not if.
He promised me. He promised me that nothing would stop us from being together.
Hope pressed her fist to her mouth, the tears coming in big, violent sobs. It wasn’t his fault, she knew that, of course she knew that, but it didn’t stop the pain and anger as it washed through her body, leaving her gasping for air.
The only thing that stopped her from slipping from her chair and crumpling on the floor was her baby.
Her baby, who could surely feel her pain; could surely sense the anguish racking every inch of her as she considered a life without Gus.
Who moved inside her even now as if he or she knew something was wrong.
‘Hope, I’m so sorry,’ Charles said, his face falling as she turned to him.
‘He’s gone,’ she whispered. ‘He’s gone and he’s never coming back.’
Her uncle opened his arms and she tumbled into them, crying as he held her.
In the arms of a man she’d barely even known existed, but who’d shown her such kindness despite it all.
She didn’t know how long they sat like that, and Charles only left her to rise and turn off the dinner he’d been cooking.
But he returned to her immediately, folding the letter and slipping it back into the envelope, before taking her hand again and holding it tight.
When his eyes met hers, she saw only kindness.
‘What am I going to do without him?’ she asked, her eyes brimming with fresh tears.
‘You’re going to stay here with me, and you’re going to take your time deciding what to do,’ Charles said, passing her his handkerchief.
‘I’m not going to turn you out into the street just because your Gus isn’t coming for you.
We’re family, Hope, and I would never let anything bad happen to you, not if I could help it. ’
She swallowed, barely able to comprehend how kind he was being.
Her own father would have turned her out; her mother would have been so ashamed she wouldn’t have been able to look at her.
And Gus’s family had made their feelings abundantly clear.
But her uncle was looking at her as if he expected nothing of her.
‘I don’t want to be a burden on you,’ she whispered.
‘Hope, you’re far from being a burden,’ he said, watching her as she wiped her tears. ‘I’ve been alone for longer than I can remember. You’re a blessing, not a burden.’
‘You’re certain?’
‘You’ll always be welcome here, Hope. Always.’
She took a deep breath and slowly let it go. ‘Thank you.’
‘You, my darling girl, are most welcome,’ he said, rising again and going back to whatever he’d been cooking.
But before he did, he turned and looked back at her.
‘I know what it feels like to lose someone you love, Hope, and I’m not going to lie to you.
The pain never goes away, but it does eventually fade to something more manageable. ’
She nodded, trying to catch her breath as emotion threatened to overwhelm her.
‘I just can’t believe I’m never going to see him again,’ she whispered.
Charles’s eyes welled with tears before he turned back to his cooker, and she found herself with both hands on her stomach, trying to stay strong for the child growing inside her.
Other than Charles, and the little bottle of absinthe that she’d smuggled to London with her, her baby was all she had left.