Chapter Thirteen
The museum is rammed and we find ourselves swept up in the steady stream of tourists. After a few minutes’ chatting with Cormac and Paul, I pull Meg aside, next to a display about the linen mills that supplied materials for the Titanic.
‘We need to talk about what happened,’ I say.
She grins. ‘I know. I have the strangest feeling.’
‘What?’
Her eyes glaze over for a moment, then she shakes her head. ‘Nothing, it was just really intense.’
‘Are you really OK?’
She smiles. ‘Yeah, I feel properly part of this now, like we’re in it together. You know?’
‘Yeah, I’m glad I don’t have to go through it by myself any more.’
‘We’re a team,’ she says, then looks over at Paul and Cormac. ‘By the way, did you see Paul checking us out holding hands? He looked almost…’
I blush. ‘Jealous?’
‘Your words.’ She leans in. ‘Listen, he’s hot, and you never know, maybe he’s into you. But speaking as a mate, be careful. He has a girlfriend and it sounds like you have a shitty track record with closet cases.’
I roll my eyes. ‘He’s clearly straight. It’s just a crush, and anyway, I’d never get with someone who has a partner.’
‘Well, then,’ she says, ‘let the sexual tension continue.’
We catch up with Paul and Cormac and carry on through the museum. Despite the crowds, we stop to read everything. There’s so much I didn’t know about the ship and the city. There are items from the ship itself, the history of how it was built and even a ride that takes you through the shipyard.
‘Have to admit, this is class. Me and Cormac sneaked off when we came with the school,’ says Paul as we wait in the queue. ‘Though it’s weird to imagine that if we’d been on it, we totally would have been down in steerage.’
‘Not me,’ says Cormac. ‘I’d have charmed my way to the captain’s table and been on the first boat outta there.’
‘It was women and children first,’ I say.
Cormac shakes his head and tuts. ‘So sexist. Am I right, Meg?’
Meg snorts. ‘Wow, you’re such a feminist.’
‘You bet,’ he says. ‘I respect women so much I’d—’
‘Steal their seat on a lifeboat?’ says Paul.
‘No, I’d share my seat, you Neanderthal. Men! Let’s go, sister friend.’ He puts his arm round Meg. They walk forward in the queue and are ushered in to fill up the seats in the waiting car. We go to follow, but the attendant stops us.
‘Oh, we’re with them,’ I say.
The attendant ignores us and Meg smirks as their car moves off, leaving me alone with Paul.
We wait in silence for the next car to arrive. When it does, we get into the front seats but the family behind us in the queue tells the attendant they’ll wait to go together. And so we set off just the two of us in the classically romantic shipyard ride.
‘Here we go,’ says Paul.
‘Yeah.’ I laugh a bit too loud and he frowns. As we start moving, I focus on the recorded voice that explains about the working conditions at the shipyard.
Paul’s aftershave fills the space between us, which is not a lot of space. We’re pressed close together and I’m not sure if I’m imagining the heat radiating off him.
‘You seem quiet. Everything OK?’ Paul asks as we pass a video of men working on the hull of the ship.
I turn to face him. ‘Yeah, just a weird day.’
‘Want to talk about it?’
I wish.
‘I’m good. Thanks though.’ He shrugs and looks away and I feel like I’m losing out on something. ‘How’re you?’
He turns back with that smile, and holy shit he’s hot. ‘I’m grand. This isn’t usually my thing, but it’s good to do something different.’
Am I something different?
I grin like an idiot. ‘Yeah, it’s been fun. And incredibly informative.’
‘You enjoying all the facts then?’
I nod. ‘Yeah, I hate to break it to you, but I’m a bit of a nerd.’
‘I did suspect that was the case, like. But you’re all right for a nerd.’
‘Why, thank you.’ I gaze at a projection of a man hammering a nail in the ship. ‘Someone in our family worked on the Titanic, you know.’
‘No way! What did he do?’
I point at the projection. ‘That. He was a riveter.’
‘So…’ Paul looks at me seriously. ‘Do you think it was his fault it sank?’
‘Oh my God!’ I nearly choke laughing and he joins in.
‘You’re good to hang out with,’ he says, and my head spins.
‘Who, me?’
Smooth.
‘Of course. You’re good craic.’
I drum my fingers on the rail of the car. ‘Cheers, you too.’
The silence between us feels comfortable then.
Well, it’s not entirely silent. The voice of the narration is really loud and the sound effects of hammering are bouncing all around us, but this is nice.
For the rest of the ride I let myself daydream that we’re together.
A couple on a date, totally normal and comfortable with ourselves.
Maybe people would look at us and think we’re cute. We would be cute.
I steal one more smile with Paul as the ride comes to an end, but then we hear Cormac shouting at us and he shifts to make space between us, breaking the spell. Meg has an eyebrow raised. I shake my head the tiniest bit, then we climb off the ride and back to reality.
‘What you all doing later?’ says Cormac.
‘No plans.’ Paul looks sideways at me. ‘Well, meeting Ellen after this, actually.’ My stomach drops. ‘But we could have a meet-up at mine later, if you’re up for it?’
I’m up for it.
Meg clears her throat and we share a look. ‘Oh, sorry. We’re going to develop some photos, right?’
‘Oh yeah. Big exciting night for us,’ she says.
Cormac throws an arm around us both. ‘Come on. You know I dig your whole arty, studious vibe but, like, also wise the fuck up and come out tonight.’
I feel Paul’s eyes on me.
‘Maybe after we get the photos done?’ I say.
Meg pats my arm. ‘You’re the boss.’
‘Nice one,’ says Paul. ‘I’ll let Ellen know.’ He turns away to text her and the bubble of the last hour bursts. I can’t believe I let myself get carried away like that. It’s time for boundaries. I take out my phone and message Ben.
That chat was fun…
Or at least time for a different distraction.
‘You OK?’ mouths Meg.
I nod. Annoyingly, this is quite familiar territory. She leans in and whispers, ‘Do you think we can try remembering the vision again, before we leave here?’
Cormac is busy on his phone too, but I take a step away from him anyway. ‘Not with them around. Maybe another time.’
Her eyes flicker with annoyance. ‘But I want to try again. It was meant to be only us today.’
I flinch. ‘Hey, it’s not my fault. I can hardly tell them to stop interfering in our magical adventures.’
She blinks. ‘I know, sorry. It’s just…that feeling earlier. I can’t stop thinking about it. I want to know what it means.’ She chews her lip.
‘So do I. We can always come back tomorrow when—’
‘Yeeooooooooo!’
I jump and everyone in the immediate vicinity turns to see Cormac punch the air. ‘I got the job! Yer boy’s a barista in training!’
His joy is infectious and the four of us fall into a hug. I’m only slightly aware of Paul’s arm around my shoulder, because I now have boundaries.
‘Right,’ says Cormac. ‘No excuses. You have to come up to Paul’s tonight for my big celebration. Deal?’
‘Deal,’ I say. ‘Shall we head then? The sooner we get our photos sorted, the sooner we can come meet you.’
‘Not yet,’ says Cormac. ‘There’s something we have to do first. It’s essential!’
‘No way,’ says Paul.
‘Absolutely not,’ says Meg.
‘Cormac, no!’
He throws his hands in the air. ‘Aww, you guys. Come on. It’s for memories. Memories!’
We’re standing by a replica of the bow of the Titanic with a backdrop of the rest of the ship, where people get photos taken to recreate the famously cheesy moment from the film.
‘I think I’ll remember this just fine,’ I say.
‘Pleeeeaaase!’ He drops to his knees.
‘Mate,’ says Paul, turning away.
Cormac grins and shuffles towards him. ‘Pretty please!’
Meg laughs. ‘Fine, if you stop doing that, I’ll get in the photo with you.’
Cormac bows. ‘Thanking you. Paul?’
He groans. ‘Anything to get you to stop.’
Cormac turns to me.
‘No, I’m not doing it.’
‘It’ll be fun,’ says Meg.
Cormac stick his lips out in a pout. ‘Come on. You can be Kate.’
I laugh and Cormac takes this as a yes. He drags me towards the rail of the bow and pushes me to the front as he, Paul and Meg get behind me.
‘Arms out, Michael,’ says Cormac.
‘No!’
‘Arms out or I’ll tell these two the most embarrassing stories I know about you.’
‘Now,’ says Paul, his breath warm on my ear, ‘I wouldn’t mind hearing that.’
I shoot my arms out to the side and Cormac shouts, ‘I’m King of the World.’ Despite my knowledge that Leo doesn’t actually say that line at that point of one of my secret favourite films, I laugh and the photographer takes a pic.
The flash blinds me and the light stays in my eyes as we step off the bow.
I stagger and Meg appears by my side. ‘What is it?’
‘It’s the…flash.’ I try to blink it away.
‘Are you having a vision?’ she whispers.
A shape is forming in the light and my stomach is rolling. ‘No, a memory. Like before. I need some air.’
Meg puts her arm in mine and leads me away. Paul and Cormac ask if I’m OK and she tells them to get our bags from the cloakroom and meet us outside.
We move through the crowds, the light still flashing behind my eyes.
The cool air from outside hits me and I stumble again but Meg grabs my arms. ‘Deep breaths. Close your eyes. Just like before. OK?’
I take a breath and shut them.
Her hands are warm and strong on my wrists. ‘Tell me what you see.’
I close my eyes and the bird appears in my mind. ‘OK, so the seagull…the herring gull is in the air and it’s frozen.’
‘What?’ says Meg.
‘Its wings are arched behind it. Like an angel, kind of, but it’s not moving.’
I hear the click in my head. ‘It’s a photo! I took a photo of it from the ferry.’
Meg grips tighter. ‘What else?’
The image of the bird flickers. I follow its gaze and see… ‘The black feather.’
It wavers and twists in the air. There are deep purples and greens among the black. I can pick out each barb in detail.
‘It’s getting bigger and bigger. No, wait, it’s coming towards me.’
The feather fills my vision now. The shimmering colours fall away and all I can see is black. Like a pool of ink.
Iron fills my senses, earth, a wetness. Blood.
Stop, stop this.
Everything goes silent. The wind, the chatter of tourists, the gulls. I’m immersed in the blackness like I’m swimming in the sea on a moonless night.
Numbness sweeps over me.
There’s a movement, a flicker of white, up ahead.
I try to turn but I can’t move.
It’s getting closer and closer. The white dot starts to take shape, into an oval.
A face.
A woman’s face.
I will my body to move, but I can’t.
Her eyes are beetle black, and she’s smiling as she races towards me through the water. Pale arms reach out. Long, auburn hair flows behind her.
She’s only a few strokes away when she opens her mouth into a smile.
Her lips, deep red like embers, start to move, and her voice, chill as an early-morning mist, fills my head. ‘Remember, Michael…’
She opens her mouth again and the scream fills my ears.
When I open my eyes, I’m on the ground. Meg is holding my hand, her eyes wide.
‘Michael?’
‘Did you see her?’ I gasp.
‘Who?’ She leans in. ‘You just collapsed. What happened?’
My breath is ragged and I’m trembling. ‘The woman in black, the banshee. She spoke to me. She knows me. She said my name!’
Meg drops my hand.
‘She’s real, Meg. She’s real! It’s her.’
‘What?’
But before I can answer, the world swims around me and everything goes black.